Why have YOU cheated in the past?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 2:19 AM GMT
    My bf and I have been going through some trying times lately only to find out that he has cheated on me. I've tried rationalizing everything and I have looked at the past as to why I have cheated in all of the relationships that I have been in and the ones that I have been the victim and the ones that I observe from a stranger's perspective. I wonder if there are any commonalities?

    Reasons I have cheated:
    1. I was pretending to be straight
    2. I wasn't aware that we were as serious as we were
    3. I enjoyed feeling the power of being pursued by others
    4. I wanted to get off
    5. Sex was being held in the power of my ex-bf. He knew that sex was a way to play me so I sought it elsewhere.

    I have been the cheater and the cheated on. I just was wondering if other's would chime in with their experiences on why they cheated or why others have cheated on them. I am a realist and I realize we are all very small and narrow minded individuals and that sex is a huge weakness of our gender. Anyone else care to add their input?
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    Dec 03, 2012 2:23 AM GMT


    I'll chime in.

    This is not realistic or true:

    "I am a realist and I realize we are all very small and narrow minded individuals and that sex is a huge weakness of our gender."

    icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 2:42 AM GMT
    1. Retaliation
    2. Feeling attractive
    3. did not think i was cheating. meaning did not consider myself off the market.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 2:45 AM GMT
    Yes. And, everybody was miserable afterwards.

    Lesson Learned: Don't enter into agreements (i.e. monogamy) without fully understanding just how much commitment and work (for all parties) it takes to comply.

    I suggest, "The Monogamy Myth" by Peggy Vaughn. It's a book that explores the factors which support and undermine monogamy. It's a great book for anybody to read...especially BEFORE getting into a relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 5:56 AM GMT
    Because he got fat
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 6:00 AM GMT
    I was unhappy with MYSELF and needed validation. Stupid I know. Not proud of my decisions.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 6:01 AM GMT
    At the end of my 5 year relationship I found out my ex cheated on me with 8 people...7 guys and 1 girl..I was devastated! I had no idea..The reason I was given was just because I wouldn't go to clubs...I hate clubs and don't like going to them...It really hurt due to such a stupid reason and for the fact it was a 5 year relationship!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 6:12 AM GMT
    Never have. Never will.
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    Dec 03, 2012 6:14 AM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    timshel saidBecause he got fat

    Wow.


    That's what I said when he took off his girdle
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    Dec 03, 2012 6:18 AM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    timshel said
    Aristoshark said
    timshel saidBecause he got fat

    Wow.


    That's what I said when he took off his girdle

    I shouldn't laugh, but that was funny.
    Did you talk to him as he was packing on the pounds?


    Only because he wouldn't let me wire his mouth shut.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 6:23 AM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    timshel said
    Aristoshark said
    timshel said
    Aristoshark said
    timshel saidBecause he got fat

    Wow.


    That's what I said when he took off his girdle

    I shouldn't laugh, but that was funny.
    Did you talk to him as he was packing on the pounds?


    Only because he wouldn't let me wire his mouth shut.

    Stop, you're killing me. This is funny shit.

    It's also angry shit. Sounds like you really feel like he disregarded your feelings. I won't pry any further.


    Just work on prying the KFC double down from his flesh hooks
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    Dec 03, 2012 6:29 AM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    timshel saidJust work on prying the KFC double down from his flesh hooks


    23403261.jpg&sa=X&ei=6UW8UPySF4am9ASP0IH


    No I am perfectly content with spending my Sunday night alone talking to a cartoon shark online
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 6:34 AM GMT
    meninlove said

    I'll chime in.

    This is not realistic or true:

    "I am a realist and I realize we are all very small and narrow minded individuals and that sex is a huge weakness of our gender."

    icon_wink.gif


    Agree with meninlove.

    Also, I really don't buy your reason number 2. If you truly believe you are not in a relationship with someone, then you don't have anything to feel guilty about. It takes two consenting people to have a relationship. Typically the one-sided relationships occur between a stalker and their prey.

    Wait, did you have a stalker? Do you have a stalker now? Have you been kidnapped by your stalker? Post a picture with a thumbs up if you are safe! We can save you!
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Dec 03, 2012 11:12 AM GMT
    I've never cheated and if I am to in the future it'd be because I blacked out drunk and didn't know what was going on.
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    Dec 03, 2012 11:13 AM GMT
    No
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 11:42 AM GMT
    Haven't and won't.


    RadRTT saidAt the end of my 5 year relationship I found out my ex cheated on me with 8 people...7 guys and 1 girl..I was devastated! I had no idea..The reason I was given was just because I wouldn't go to clubs...I hate clubs and don't like going to them...It really hurt due to such a stupid reason and for the fact it was a 5 year relationship!
    That sucksss icon_sad.gif
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Dec 03, 2012 2:13 PM GMT
    1. Boredom
    2. He cheat first
    3. Here come the opportunity
    4. Just like Presiden Clinton "Because I can"
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    Dec 03, 2012 2:32 PM GMT
    Never have cheated here too. No desire too... Too much work, and I can only focus on one person at a time.

    Cheers,

    Sean
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    Dec 03, 2012 2:37 PM GMT
    GTPSean saidToo much work, and I can only focus on one person at a time.
    Cheers,
    Sean


    I don't mean to generalize but it makes me wonder if all would cheat provided there is an opportunity
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 3:17 PM GMT
    I have been on both side of the cheat. Always tried to rationalize it. The conclusion, there is no "good reason" to cheat. I won't make that mistake again! If you are not happy and it's not working out....man up and talk about it.
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Dec 03, 2012 4:00 PM GMT
    I understand why we do it, Cheat that is. We reward ourselves when other things go tits up. We seek out the easiest thing to do be an animal than be rational.
    It's not right. I recognize this, but doesn't mean we stop ourselves either.
    Instant gratification. What could be nicer than for 15mins, 30mins 2hrs, you are the center of someone's world.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 5:27 PM GMT
    i hear you on all of these and appreciate the feedback. Others feel free to join in.

    As for my second point above, I wasn't aware that we were exclusive after a few times of getting off and so when I told him that I had been with someone (this is the ex and this was almost 5 years ago) he let me know that he thought we were "together" so I messed up.

    Its true that we would rather move on when the situation gets rough at home. I definitely know what it feels like to be the cheater and I definitely know what its like to be the cheated on. It sucks for the cheater because you know you hurt someone important to you and that you take them for granted.

    The one that gets cheated on is left feeling "why? what did I do wrong?"... you get comfortable with someone and take them for granted. how do we stop caring for whats the best thing thats happened to us when they are right there for a half hour of fun? icon_sad.gif

    relationships are quite depressing?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 5:30 PM GMT
    JumpMan_Josh saidNever have. Never will.
    +1
    2 Pts for Team Josh! icon_cool.gificon_cool.gificon_razz.gificon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 5:46 PM GMT
    He made ma hurt. I was very immature. I tried to find comfort in a other guy arms.
    I hope it will never happen to me again.
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    Dec 03, 2012 6:28 PM GMT
    JR_RJ said
    JumpMan_Josh saidNever have. Never will.
    +1
    2 Pts for Team Josh! icon_cool.gificon_cool.gificon_razz.gificon_razz.gif


    Woo Hoo haha!