Does it pay to be nice or agenda-driven to get ahead in life?

  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Dec 03, 2012 1:28 PM GMT
    In the long run, does it pay to be the good guy at all times or be the player lookin out for his best interests who does whatever it takes to get ahead in life? Does it pay to be cutthroat or be a team player?
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    Dec 03, 2012 1:54 PM GMT
    Agenda-driven people succeed more financially.

    Nice people succeed more socially.

    Nice agenda-driven people apologize to those they stepped on once they reach their goals.
  • TannerMasseur

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    Dec 03, 2012 2:05 PM GMT
    I hope they do. The strongest, smartest survive........
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2012 3:10 PM GMT
    It's an "AND", not an "OR".

    You can be a nice, agenda driven person.
    I am.
    You can co-create agendas with others. This is called shared vision.
    Together, you can find others who can connect with and adapt this shared vision. This is called collaboration.
    You can then shepherd the collaboration for mutual "win". This is called leadership.
  • TannerMasseur

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    Dec 03, 2012 3:13 PM GMT
    Very good GAMRican icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 03, 2012 3:20 PM GMT
    My observation is that in most cases the bad guys finish first, and nice guys finish last.

    Please don't hate me for that reality. And I will never use the bad guy approach myself to get ahead. That may explain my own lamentable situation, though it's an easy cop-out, I know. But I see what I see, and the bad guys, the Trumps, the Kochs, the Romneys, the Adelsons, et al, all seem to thrive in our society, financially & socially, if not always politically. icon_sad.gif
  • TannerMasseur

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    Dec 03, 2012 3:22 PM GMT
    True Art_Deco.
  • TannerMasseur

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    Dec 03, 2012 4:44 PM GMT
    It's good to have open agendas/goals........
  • TannerMasseur

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    Dec 03, 2012 5:02 PM GMT
    Who doesn't want to succeed & win even if it means stepping over others to do so?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 03, 2012 5:09 PM GMT
    It pays to be nice. <3
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    Dec 03, 2012 5:20 PM GMT
    One can be ethical and ambitious/driven at the same time. They're not mutually exclusive. However, one cannot allow himself to be a "doormat" if he or she wants to succeed. Being nice yet knowing when to play hardball is, to me, the best approach.
  • TannerMasseur

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    Dec 03, 2012 5:24 PM GMT
    We shud all know how to play hardball & never allow urself to be a doormat.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 03, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    Being a team player is always important...... but being aware of your interests and being diligent about aspects of your professional career (and even personal pursuits) isn't cutthroat, so long as prudent judgement is used as to what is important in each given situation. They must merge
    together. They certainly don't have to be different, hopefully they won't, but when they are different, you definitely should consider carefully.
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    Dec 03, 2012 5:26 PM GMT
    There's a correlation between a greater incidence of sociopathism and high-level business management. But being successful doesn't mean you have to behave like a sociopath.

    A nice guy at times has to eschew personal advantage for the good of others around them. However, if you're lucky you'll do well and be well at the same time. Best way to be lucky is to be prepared (for success) by being smarter, more creative and persistent. If your morals prevent you from taking advantage of a situation at a particular time that would render you successful, wait for the next opportunity.

    There are business types who succeed by being nice. Anything that is service work, for instance.
  • TannerMasseur

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    Dec 03, 2012 5:34 PM GMT
    Great response HndsmKansan & mickeytopogig icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 03, 2012 5:53 PM GMT
    Depends on where you live. I would think living in NYC it would be better to be ruthless and rich than say living in Podunk, Kansas.
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    Dec 03, 2012 6:00 PM GMT
    It pays to do both at the right times.

    But every time you do anything to get a head somewhere else you'll pay for it elsewhere.
  • TannerMasseur

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    Dec 03, 2012 6:02 PM GMT
    There's Devil Wears Prada ruthless & charitable Bill Gates good samaritanism.......
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    Dec 03, 2012 6:04 PM GMT
    Helps to have a car, nearby bus, subway, or train to hop on to... otherwise, drive just sites in neutral waiting on others to move to the next level... transportation is certainly a must to get ahead.
  • TannerMasseur

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    Dec 03, 2012 6:09 PM GMT
    The easier it is to get to work the better icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 03, 2012 6:13 PM GMT
    It remains true that nice guys finish last. The question is whether you want to be a nice guy, or a nasty guy. Most of the commercially successful guys of my acquaintance are nasty. The nice guys are also-rans.

    That's your choice. Which are you?
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    Dec 03, 2012 6:13 PM GMT
    spgem saidIn the long run, does it pay to be the good guy at all times or be the player lookin out for his best interests who does whatever it takes to get ahead in life? Does it pay to be cutthroat or be a team player?


    Who says you can't be both?
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    Dec 03, 2012 6:48 PM GMT
    I'd be curious to hear examples of "nice guys" that got ahead by which I mean really made it huge financially. I can't think of any off the top of my head. All the good guys that are super successful probably weren't all that nice until they reached such high levels of success. The names that come to mind are Bill Gates and Bono. My understanding is that they were both pretty darn focused and ruthless pursuing their personal goals until fame and wealth gave them the freedom to do good/altruistic things.

    All that being said, I don't have any desire to have that kind of success. I like living a pretty simple, quiet life and just hope to one day find a good guy to share it with. I don't think it makes me a nice guy or anything, but I do wonder what I could have been if I had that single mindedness to be really successful at one thing.
  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Dec 03, 2012 6:55 PM GMT
    U need to be self-absorbed to reach ur goal/agenda. Reaching the pinnacle of success allows u the freedom to be altruistic. U can then give back to make up for being focused & goal-oriented.
  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Dec 03, 2012 7:50 PM GMT
    So many degrees of success......