Becoming Beautiful

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    Dec 04, 2012 5:51 AM GMT
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  • Amira

    Posts: 327

    Dec 04, 2012 6:00 AM GMT
    Oh okay.
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    Dec 04, 2012 6:03 AM GMT
    I am so so so hoping that you are kidding.

    Edit: BTW, I don't mean to be judgmental. It just shocks me that someone can be so self-hating as to lose their identity and gain someone else's in order to 'fit in'. These are scary, scary times...please start working on our inner beauty, which will ultimately be what will keep your men around.
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    Dec 04, 2012 6:23 AM GMT
    I still feel empty inside but at least I know my outside is fixed.

    This sentence pretty much summarizes that despite your need to alter your physical appearance to extreme levels, you have yet to accomplish a single thing that will make you truly happy.
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    Dec 04, 2012 6:57 AM GMT
    Woah. . . . icon_eek.gif
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Dec 04, 2012 7:03 AM GMT
    Erik101 saidI still feel empty inside but at least I know my outside is fixed.

    This sentence pretty much summarizes that despite your need to alter your physical appearance to extreme levels, you have yet to accomplish a single thing that will make you truly happy.

    agreed Erik, but he is only 21. OP Work on what's inside. Read more. Gain life experience. Your health is your number one asset. What's next a nose job?? Look what happened to Michael Jackson he was a handsome black man and died an old ugly white woman.
    The contacts look fake ditch them. I'm sure your natural eye color looked better, more authentic.
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    Dec 04, 2012 8:52 AM GMT
    Hmm IMO, I never really fond of any plastic surgery to alter how I look, my ethnicity or whatever. I love myself not because I'm narcissistic but I always think if you can't love yourself, don't expect others to love you (white guys or not t doesn't matter). You are beautiful the way you are. Love yourself and be confident with who you are and people will find that authenticity very attractive.

    Good luck to you
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    Dec 04, 2012 9:06 AM GMT
    ysHact saidHmm IMO, I never really fond of any plastic surgery to alter how I look, my ethnicity or whatever. I love myself not because I'm narcissistic but I always think if you can't love yourself, don't expect others to love you (white guys or not t doesn't matter). You are beautiful the way you are. Love yourself and be confident with who you are and people will find that authenticity very attractive.

    Good luck to you
    good one mateicon_cool.gificon_wink.gif
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    Dec 04, 2012 10:06 AM GMT
    Hmn... I have a slightly different take on this.

    I don't believe age has anything to do with this matter as it is something that affects people widespread, across the board. The isolates who don't care are ones who truly are content with themselves. Most others feel insecure and become baptized in these bouts of insecurity thanks to society and our experiences.

    People who grow up feeling trapped or dysphoric and self-loathing thanks to society-- whether it's a gender based or physical based one. The transformation he went through is not, fundamentally, different from a person who feels he/she is born in the wrong body. I can't speak for the OP but I know I've always felt like I was born in the wrong body-- not gender wise but simply with how I looked like.

    People who look with pride and prejudice often don't see the distress or discontent another person feels. For those who I am interested by, I am invisible, quite literally, off the radar. For everyone else, I seem more or less there.

    Happiness, what a person will do to obtain it. For all of us, we have to be comfortable with the way we look and sweet words or euphemisms will not erase the discomforts or discontent a person feels.


    We shouldn't change our appearances for others? -> Many people exercise and gain the bodies they do for this reason in addition to simply being in shape for themselves.

    We should just be happy with the way we look? -> How can we when few do? The idea we are not "good enough" doesn't simply produce itself from the ether. It builds on us due to years of slag from others and vitriol words. It is a conflict born with one's identity and trying to reach comfort with it.

    Work what's on the inside? The insides were fine before. It's because of the poison (e.g. direct/indirect disdain and rejection) that we're surrounded by that makes us conjure these questions in the first place. People who make us feel unappreciated simply by being who we are. We learn to accept that and understand that our existence cannot bring happiness to everyone and we don't have to be, necessarily, liked by all. But trying to vie for (approximately) 1% population which may have only .10% that actually are interested in people who look like oneself is difficult-- especially in a part of an area where there may be even less who are interested. So, what does one do? They either change or accept what they have. The OP chose to change-- perhaps for the better, perhaps for the worse. One can never be so sure.

    I wish my insides matched my outside, and not in the facetious sort of way with organs and vessels turned outward. icon_neutral.gif

    Personally, for myself, I know I have made huge growths with the person I am. While there are still areas of improvement, I think my desire to want to date and not be single for the rest of my life is not a reflection of poor confidence or a lack of self-esteem. icon_confused.gif I like my company and have 7 years of isolation-- more than ample time to be apart from most. I just would like to date and share myself with more than just my family members or the small tiny pocket of friends I have.

    In short, there are either two options:

    Change and try to adapt to the standard which most men go for OR simply accept what you look like and work with the small puddle of men that do find you interesting. What is laudable is not necessarily always great but what is favorable is not always what's unique.
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    Dec 04, 2012 10:13 AM GMT
    Did your balls change color too? Do u still have pubes like other black people?
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    Dec 04, 2012 1:21 PM GMT
    Who am I to judge? That said, what a mess.
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    Dec 04, 2012 2:13 PM GMT
    Does anyone actually believe the @OP? He only has 3 posts and one picture.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Dec 04, 2012 2:14 PM GMT
    I won't deny that you're hot. It's true that in the gay world, and to some but lesser extent also the straight world, being white gives a leverage in attracting people.

    In addition, I believe white has the "highest" ethnicity attraction; so I don't think that people are mainly attracted to their own ethnicity. I rarely hear people say that they're not attracted to white people.

    Because of this I do sometimes think "what if I had been white?". Having that said, I don't think I ultimately would want to go through the process. Politically, I don't want to reaffirm that one has to be white. Emotionally, I want to feel that I should be able to be confident and comfortable with who I am.
  • great_scott

    Posts: 519

    Dec 04, 2012 5:50 PM GMT
    alchlameon said I’m still single


    /Thread.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Dec 04, 2012 6:19 PM GMT
    Dude, u are a hot mess indeed.

    Life isn't al about being noticed and being "hot".... what else do u actually offer to a potential bf? Besides ur fake skin color, ur fake eyes, ur chemically altered hair?

    It's a shame u went through all of that just to get noticed in a bar, yet u remain single and empty on the inside.
    And your poor family? omg.


    This is just a whole fuckin mess.
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    Dec 04, 2012 6:23 PM GMT
    alchlameon said I get told how beautiful I am on a daily basis by strangers and I finally feel special. Although I still feel empty inside but at least I know my outside is fixed.


    Isn't that the entire function of the ego, to feel special? It's amazing how many people this statement secretly applies to.
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    Dec 04, 2012 8:17 PM GMT
    Well, I'll be damned. I don't mind altering yourself a little to make yourself happy, and don't judge those who do have plastic surgery, but you seem a bit extreme. Perhaps a good counseling session would have been a lot more helpful (and cheaper) than all the shit you put your body through. Isn't it painful?

    And TBH, no matter how much surgery you have, most people would be able to tell you still have African features.

    You remind me of this guy.....


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    Dec 04, 2012 8:22 PM GMT
    alchlameon saidI wanted to share my experience in the dating world. I’m Black and I’m attracted to primarily White men. Or men that have european like features. blockquote>

    Then why does your profile say white?

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    Dec 04, 2012 8:27 PM GMT
    Alright I just read this whole thing and I will say this that you are fine as hell and yes I would date you but the reason your BLACK ass is single is because men can tell there is something off about you. From one BLACK person to another changing your outside is a waste of time unless you know there's something on the inside worth drawing people to you. Hell I want some surgeries to change my outside too. Will I get them? Probably not. If I could I might but I know in the back of my mind there is no point in changing it up on my exterior because I have issues on the inside that far outweight the outside issues. Sure I hate my size but I can fix that. No one wants a beautiful tragedy.

    No white man wants to be made your God and as soon as they learn about what your crazy BLACK ass did they gonna run.

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    Dec 04, 2012 9:32 PM GMT
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    Dec 04, 2012 9:33 PM GMT
    alchlameon saidI would say I'm loyal, honest and polite.

    When guys ask me what I am I usually tell them White, Native American and Black. I look really ambiguous so I could claim almost anything.
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    Dec 04, 2012 10:04 PM GMT
    Neight said
    alchlameon saidI would say I'm loyal, honest and polite.

    When guys ask me what I am I usually tell them White, Native American and Black. I look really ambiguous so I could claim almost anything.


    A lot of black people are usually anglo something though. o.O Very few black people are purely African. He could be Native American too. icon_surprised.gif

    But I know where yer goin' with this. icon_neutral.gif *Pets*
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    Dec 04, 2012 10:08 PM GMT
    Neight said
    alchlameon saidI would say I'm loyal, honest and polite.

    When guys ask me what I am I usually tell them White, Native American and Black. I look really ambiguous so I could claim almost anything.


    I'm glad I wasn't the only one who caught that icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 04, 2012 10:21 PM GMT
    Bromoflexual said
    Neight said
    alchlameon saidI would say I'm loyal, honest and polite.

    When guys ask me what I am I usually tell them White, Native American and Black. I look really ambiguous so I could claim almost anything.


    I'm glad I wasn't the only one who caught that icon_wink.gif


    I don't get it. Can someone let me in on the joke?
  • gwuinsf

    Posts: 525

    Dec 04, 2012 10:31 PM GMT
    I didn't even know this was possible. I want to call bullshit on someone who only has 4 posts.

    Please post a before picture.