Getting Life Back Together Need Help

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 05, 2012 9:16 PM GMT
    Well what can I say but my life right now is quite depressing to me. I have a lot of things I want and need to get done, but for some reason I'm just not enthusiastic or interested in going ahead with them. My habits and routines have changed for the worse, and it's just so hard to change right now.

    I'll give a little background to how I reached this awful point in my life. In 2007 I decided to stop being a lazy loser and started to change my life (after some really bad things happened in my life), it was very hard to get myself out of a life I knew for well, since I was born. That included changing eating habits, exercising, getting new (and good) hobbies etc. Everything was great until the middle of 2010, I got a back injury and since then I've been sporadic in the gym and the bad habits returned.

    The only way I can really explain it is after the injury, and the doctors told me that I could start exercising again, there was always this internalized fear that something WILL happen again. The back injury was the first injury I ever had in my life, especially from the gym. So since then I've been sporadic in the gym, and trying to get back to where I was but I always end up making up excuses to not go back whenever I feel the slightest pain... and most of the time I know that pain is SUPPOSED to be felt. All of this was occurring really badly throughout 2010 to earlier this year, I managed to get focused on the gym again recently mostly thanks to here really.

    Anyway, aside from the gym, while I was injured I didn't really do anything. I just went back to TV/video games/late nights on the computer doing nothing important. Those were habits I kicked, I mean I still did those things but in moderation, but after the injury it just stuck. Nowadays it's a struggle to really put those aside and do what needs to get done, especially with lots of stuff for school that I needed to get done and stuff that I'm working on my own. I want to be a writer, so I used to write loads of stuff all the time and was working on a project but since then... not much has happened.

    I feel like that injury, though it may be healed, is still there mentally. Sure I managed to get through most things, but I still feel like it's haunting me. It's like I had my life where I wanted it to be, then this thing came and took it all away and now I just don't know if I have the strength in me to get back to where I was. It's harder now because all the friends around me that were supportive back then, are gone to college and not on the island anymore. It's just so hard having to do this on my own.

    This in itself, also stresses me out. I feel like I should be able to work through these problems because I know people have gone through worse in their lives, yet I'm not able to... so to myself, I think of myself as weak and pathetic. I want to get my life back to where it was before the injury, that was the happiest times of my life. It's just, it seems, like I'm working against myself. I want to wake up early to start the day and get a lot of stuff done... I end up waking up late, not getting much done, then can't sleep so I either roll around in bed trying to force myself to sleep/play games or use the computer until I lose track of time and it's almost sunrise.

    Honestly, I feel like this is such an easy problem to overcome and it just eats away at me that I'm just that petty and worthless to be able to overcome something as simple as that. I get so pissed off that it's myself making me stuck in this seemingly never ending cycle of wasted days. In a few days I'll be 22, and I know that a man is not supposed to be living like this. A man is supposed to be able to do what needs to be done, no matter what problems or stress is going on in his life. I see my dad come home really late everyday working his ass off because he has to... I saw my mom go through chemo and work so hard to beat her cancer... they all go through way worse things than me, yet I can't get my life together?

    The best way to summarize all of this is a line from one of my favoruite songs from Spring Awakening "I'm a man and a child." I may be 21 but I still feel as small and feeble as a child when faced with problems.

    I'm hoping that you guys on here can help me out, a lot of you are really great role models of what a man should be. Right now I feel so messed up, I felt like I need to ask you guys for help.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 05, 2012 10:53 PM GMT
    You need to find activities that you WANT to do. That are fun to do. That you look forward to do. Weights and cardio is not for everybody, maybe you do better swimming or bicycling or playing basketball or whatever. Find a group to do it with, then flaking out will be harder. Also, make core-exercises a key component of your work outs so that your back is strong.