Is It Fickle?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2012 8:07 PM GMT
    The Long:
    With my friends and family it's pretty common knowledge that I'm unabashedly ok with dating, I love getting to know, talking, sharing and getting close to others.

    I consider romance very much a first world problem, so I rebound quickly when it doesn't work out and I will try, try again. My own dad called me a "player" which really disturbed me, one that my dad knows what that is and secondly that he thinks that of *me*.

    I don't think of it like that at all... I think I'm a optimistic, hopeful romantic.
    I believe in happily ever after, I just don't think it happens with just anyone.
    I'm a horrifyingly complex, absurdly high maintenance conversely high payoff object of affection. I need to feel understood, safe and believed in and I need to feel those things for someone else.

    I'm not afraid of being alone or even dying alone. I have a wonderful family and a very close family of friends that I share so much of my life with, essentially I don't feel pressure to be in a relationship.

    I think I treat the men I date with love and respect, most of them are still very close friends so I think I've been successful in not being a total dickhead.
    I've been spending time with a guy over the past several weeks, he's a handsome, sweet, thoughtful, attentive, emotionally present guy. He owns his own successful business and has also been a working model for over a decade. He's entirely intriguing and captivating, an amazing kisser, a phenomenal lay and absurdly hot.

    The Short:
    Aside from my marriage of 6 years, I frequently date guys for several weeks, sometimes months and every so often I break the year mark.
    Am I fooling myself? Am I holding out for something really attainable or am I simply passing up a myriad of opportunities for happiness with lovely wonderful men because I'm too idealistic... "fickle"?
    This new guys seems so lovely and perfect... but I'm concerned that maybe my navigation is off and am worried that if some wire I don't know exists or want to acknowledge gets tripped, I will transition him to "lovely friend" like the others and not give him/us the chance we might deserve.
    Does this happen for anyone else?
  • Just_Tim

    Posts: 1723

    Dec 07, 2012 6:55 AM GMT
    I guess the plus side here is that you keep tossing (presumably) perfectly good guys back into the dating world for the rest of us. So thanks.

    Also, yes. It's fickle.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 07, 2012 7:43 AM GMT
    If it doesn't feel right, then it's not. There are far too many that stay in relationships they should have left a whole lot sooner, and probably missed the opportunity when the right one came around.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Dec 07, 2012 7:44 AM GMT
    Yes. Next question.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2012 11:59 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidIf it doesn't feel right, then it's not. There are far too many that stay in relationships they should have left a whole lot sooner, and probably missed the opportunity when the right one came around.
    I'm hoping so... it's such a fine line sometimes.
    But in an attempt to not be a fickle bitch.
    This weekend I was faced with the perfect opportunity to cut bait but didn't take it.
    It's a peculiar contradiction when a butch top has an insecure meltdown, at least this one was man enough to apologize, which is why I didn't drop him like a hot potato.