I'm old and he is young

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    Dec 08, 2012 1:51 AM GMT
    I am 50 years old and have been persued by a 30 year old guy. He is a fucking great guy, we are compatible in all ways. Why do I have an issue with our age difference? I was a straight married guy and lived monogomously for 25 years but totally slutted out and fucked literally hundreds of men (and women) over the past 7 years. I stopped doing that and was okay with being sexless and alone to focus on other things in life when he came into my life. And now Im hooked. Any sincere advice is appreciated.
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    Dec 08, 2012 2:03 AM GMT
    Cradle robber! icon_mad.gif

    I hope you checked his ID, mister!

    tapping_foot.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2012 2:33 AM GMT
    Is the problem the age difference or the fact that you've like sex a lot? I'm failing to see the connection between your hundreds of men, you're wife and the 30 year old pursuing you.
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    Dec 08, 2012 3:11 AM GMT
    Seems to me he should be posting on here wondering why he is dating someone who is so dangerous. 25 years with a woman, then fucks literally hundreds of men and women in a 7 year span and then stops and goes all monk and then falls for a much younger man? Sounds like someone going through a classic mid-life meltdown, something I would avoid with a 20 foot penis.

    Age difference would never be my issue. Healthy choices, living honestly, and someone who knows how to express themselves outside of a bedroom would be vastly more important than age.
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    Dec 08, 2012 4:30 AM GMT
    If you read many of the posts on here, you will see that there are hundreds of guys that are always complaining that they can't find a guy for a relationship, amd despair that they will never be able to have a relationship with another guy. Here you stumble on one at the age of 50 ( you won't be getting any younger) and you can't decide whether it is worth having. If you want to be single for the rest of your life (and lots of guys do), then break it off. OTOH, if you want to be part of a relationship, then take the one you have and see where is leads.
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    Dec 08, 2012 5:38 AM GMT
    So are you feeling guilty because of your past indiscretions and you think this guy is now breaking your path on being sexless and alone? I don't get it! What am I missing here?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2012 7:25 AM GMT
    You're not old. . . icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2012 8:13 AM GMT
    he is your gift, take it and enjoy the ride. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2012 8:44 AM GMT
    Advice = get over it.

    Honestly. You get one life, just be happy and go with it.
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    Dec 08, 2012 9:40 AM GMT
    It worked for me for two years with a greater age difference. Life is about learning. When you stop you are the living dead.
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    Dec 08, 2012 9:51 AM GMT
    Just a question, Are you truly hung up on his age? Or are you using that as an excuse not to get into an LTR with this guy? I have dated a couple older gents and they have admitted to feeling as though they missed out on their "youth". They grew up in a time where young men married young women and had a family. Most of them don't necessarily regret their lives, but do feel like they now have a second chance to have the "gay youth" they were denied. Couple that with the fact that as men we like sex... a lot, and you get a guy who shies away from relationships in order to explore his sexuality. If you ever are ready to stop exploring, just be sure it's what you really want...

    I am biased because I have been burned by a few older guys in this way, but I will say the worst thing you can do is to call it off with this guy ONLY because he is younger than you. You did not list a single issue you have with this guy otherwise. So basically, if this guy were 50 and not 30, he would be perfect... ?

    Finally, do not put yourself into the "Father" role where you feel the need to decide for the both of you. He's a grown man and can decide for himself if dating an older gentleman is something he wants. Listen to him and have him listen to you. It takes two to have a relationship so it will be important to communicate your fears to each other if you want to succeed.
  • wild_sky360

    Posts: 1492

    Dec 08, 2012 9:58 AM GMT
    What's the problem?
    I'm in a similar relationship and the only issue is that he gets more attention than me now when we go out to the club. To be expected and I can deal with that without jealousy.
    Neither of us has a dad / son fetish. We just hit it off right away, the first time we met and took it from there.

    If you overthink it you could surely find a lot of hypothetical reasons to screw up a good thing
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2012 12:23 PM GMT
    You don't want him, I'll give him a try!

    BTW, at 50 you may be older, but you are not old !!
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    Dec 08, 2012 12:27 PM GMT
    Trollileo saidIt's just a 20 year difference. I almost dated a 50 year old when I was 20. He thought I was mature (lol, nope) and he was really young at heart. It didn't work out, because we realized we weren't that compatible.

    You bitches and your age gap complaints.


    Basically this, quite bitching about someones age! Holy moley people, as long as he is legal go for it. You are only holding yourself back by complaining about this, compatible and get along well then enjoy yourselves.
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    Dec 08, 2012 12:35 PM GMT
    Not enough information, or too much irrelevant information. In any case, how the heck would we know what you should do. What does he really want? What do you want? Would it make a difference if you're 70 and he's 50? Would it matter to him?
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    Dec 08, 2012 1:29 PM GMT
    I'm 23 and my boyfriend of 1.5 years is 54. Get over it and date whoever the fuck you like.
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    Dec 08, 2012 1:49 PM GMT
    Sucks for you...where exactly is the down side; don't you already have enough regrets?
    Don't think I've ever regretted having my hart stomped on.
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    Dec 08, 2012 2:19 PM GMT
    I'm going to pile on and say I don't see what the big deal is. He's 30 and old enough to make his own decisions. The biggest reason, however, why I think this is a nothing burger is that you're saying he's "pursuing" you. Dude, go on some dates and get to know the guy. Who knows, maybe it won't work out. Maybe it will. But why not go on some dates and find out? He's not asking to marry you. It's just dinner, drinks and whatnot. Chill out! There's no commitment. Check it out. You might have a good time......
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Dec 08, 2012 2:20 PM GMT
    stop listening to other people (except for me)
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    Dec 08, 2012 6:44 PM GMT
    I know you are logically correct and Im working in that direction for sure. He is a hot man with a hot body BUT the best thing about him is how genuine and real he is. I was a fucktard for pushing him off for the time I did.



    yourname2000 saidWhy on earth would this be a problem??? The difference between 30 and 50 (from a mental and emotional maturity stand point) is almost negligible....certainly much less than 20/40 relationships (and those are common.) There are a couple of young RJers (as in early/mid 20s) who are in longterm relationships with guys older than you.

    It's hard enough to find compatible mates in the gay community (when you're only 5-10% of the population at large); why look a gift horse in the mouth? Enjoy it while it lasts....and hopefully it lasts a long time. If not, I personally think it is FAR "better to have loved and lost than never loved at all." What if you say no to this? --will you be kicking yourself down the road for letting such a wonderful guy slip through your fingers because you were worried about something that didn't concern him? He's a big boy....if he thinks you're peachy-keen, that's really all that matters. Fuck what anyone else thinks.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 08, 2012 6:52 PM GMT
    As long as ya'll are past the age of consent (obiviously here!) I don't see any/the problem here.

    My current guy is 11 years younger than me; there are times when he acts (and looks) 11 years older than me.

    Although it hasn't always been "Smooth Sailing" between us, we keep clawing our way back to the other.

    I've always believed that age is "just a number on your driver's license".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 08, 2012 6:59 PM GMT
    Even though your comments stung a bit, you are mostly correct. I am VERY fortunate that my behavior didn't turn into a detrimental health situation. You know nothing of me except what I choose to post and respond to, so I totally get where you are coming from. I'm try not to be judgemental of others but I'm okay with being openly judged in a forum like this as it enlightens me to areas in my thought process that I may not have considered. Thanks for contributing.





    smartmoney saidSeems to me he should be posting on here wondering why he is dating someone who is so dangerous. 25 years with a woman, then fucks literally hundreds of men and women in a 7 year span and then stops and goes all monk and then falls for a much younger man? Sounds like someone going through a classic mid-life meltdown, something I would avoid with a 20 foot penis.

    Age difference would never be my issue. Healthy choices, living honestly, and someone who knows how to express themselves outside of a bedroom would be vastly more important than age.
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    Dec 08, 2012 7:12 PM GMT
    Honestly I dont feel guilty about sleeping with willing str8 or gay men. We are all adults. I don't worry of being alone at all. Im not a boi chaser like many middle aged homos. I was/am totally hung up on the age thing, he is 30 and looks 20 and Im 50 and look and act younger than I am.This guy has his shit together, works his ass off, and is very forward thinking about his business and future.


    Erik101 saidSo are you feeling guilty because of your past indiscretions and you think this guy is now breaking your path on being sexless and alone? I don't get it! What am I missing here?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Dec 08, 2012 7:30 PM GMT
    Apex0111 saidJust a question, Are you truly hung up on his age? Or are you using that as an excuse not to get into an LTR with this guy? I have dated a couple older gents and they have admitted to feeling as though they missed out on their "youth". They grew up in a time where young men married young women and had a family. Most of them don't necessarily regret their lives, but do feel like they now have a second chance to have the "gay youth" they were denied. Couple that with the fact that as men we like sex... a lot, and you get a guy who shies away from relationships in order to explore his sexuality. If you ever are ready to stop exploring, just be sure it's what you really want...

    I am biased because I have been burned by a few older guys in this way, but I will say the worst thing you can do is to call it off with this guy ONLY because he is younger than you. You did not list a single issue you have with this guy otherwise. So basically, if this guy were 50 and not 30, he would be perfect... ?

    Finally, do not put yourself into the "Father" role where you feel the need to decide for the both of you. He's a grown man and can decide for himself if dating an older gentleman is something he wants. Listen to him and have him listen to you. It takes two to have a relationship so it will be important to communicate your fears to each other if you want to succeed.


    This is it. Read this again and again. I'm partnered with a guy who's 27 and I'm older than you. I'm not his dad and he's not my son. We're equals in all things except I've had more time to accumulate career and wealth. I hope he surpasses me by a mile. Maybe buys me a Bentley in my old age. Listen, guy, age will present a problem but I've yet to see a relationship without problems. If ya love him, go for it. Or think you could get there.
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    Dec 08, 2012 7:41 PM GMT
    Well for sure I wasnt looking for an LTR. And for sure Im not a boi chaser, although I have slept with many. I enjoy the commonality that people can have with each other regarding taste, style, music or tv. Age shouldnt be an issue. And usually in dad/son things I have found that not to be the case. We however will not be in a daddy/boi thing. He is all man as I am, and we treat each other as such. His previous relationship was abusive both verbally, mentally and physically so he asks my "permission" for things I find ludicrous. But that will take time for him to get over and patience for me to not give a dirty look or a snide remark for asking for something because in your previous relationship the guy was a fucking control freak and demanded such behavior.

    Apex0111 saidJust a question, Are you truly hung up on his age? Or are you using that as an excuse not to get into an LTR with this guy? I have dated a couple older gents and they have admitted to feeling as though they missed out on their "youth". They grew up in a time where young men married young women and had a family. Most of them don't necessarily regret their lives, but do feel like they now have a second chance to have the "gay youth" they were denied. Couple that with the fact that as men we like sex... a lot, and you get a guy who shies away from relationships in order to explore his sexuality. If you ever are ready to stop exploring, just be sure it's what you really want...

    I am biased because I have been burned by a few older guys in this way, but I will say the worst thing you can do is to call it off with this guy ONLY because he is younger than you. You did not list a single issue you have with this guy otherwise. So basically, if this guy were 50 and not 30, he would be perfect... ?

    Finally, do not put yourself into the "Father" role where you feel the need to decide for the both of you. He's a grown man and can decide for himself if dating an older gentleman is something he wants. Listen to him and have him listen to you. It takes two to have a relationship so it will be important to communicate your fears to each other if you want to succeed.