HIV POSITIVE!!

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    Dec 09, 2012 4:30 PM GMT
    Do you guys avoid HIV positive guys like the plague? (and be honest)

    Thoughts? Feelings? Etc?
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    Dec 09, 2012 4:36 PM GMT
    As an HIV negative guy, no I don't consider positive guys as plagues. I have friends who are positive and they are the most endearing guys I've met. Also, I was infatuated with a guy who's positive and even had (safe) sex with him. It doesn't bother me one bit!
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    Dec 09, 2012 4:47 PM GMT
    It's a real dilemma for me since the infection rates are up especially for "educated" young guys so one can only assume that it you are playing with Poz guys you are not safe.
  • TonyD

    Posts: 168

    Dec 09, 2012 4:49 PM GMT
    Its important to educate oneself on what to do/what not to do and have a reasonable amount of caution (sexually) and concern.
    I not, then social stigma happens, fear and rumor and extreme thoughts take hold. Not good.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Dec 09, 2012 4:51 PM GMT
    No, would never treat an HIV positive person as having the plague. That's fucking rude.

    However, I wouldn't exactly be chompin at the bit to get in bed with one. Sorry/.
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    Dec 09, 2012 4:55 PM GMT
    no ill just be extra careful i know how they spread and hope that positive person know how to stop hiv from spreading..
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    Dec 09, 2012 4:55 PM GMT
    youngRJ1 saidDo you guys avoid HIV positive guys like the plague? (and be honest)

    Thoughts? Feelings? Etc?

    I hardly give anyone's HIV status a thought, unless the persons themselves want to discuss it, or it's relevant to some work in the community I'm doing. I'm always forgetting which of our friends is poz, if I was told about it at all. I never ask.

    Plus my late partner was positive. A fact he volunteered from our first time speaking on the phone. And was afraid I wouldn't want to meet him in person. I flew 1500 miles to see him, and had (safe) sex with him the first night. Within 6 months I had moved in with him and we became partners, sleeping with him every night.

    I remain HIV negative to this day, and so as you can imagine I have little fear about HIV. Respect & reasonable caution, yes, but actual fear, no. I understand the concept of risk assessment, and accepting manageable risks. And having the self-discipline to not get lax and slip-up regarding sex, although I learned that living with an HIV+ man is remarkably easy and effortless, once you get the hang of it. Like with any man. icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 09, 2012 4:56 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidIt's a real dilemma for me the infection rates are up especially for "educated" young guys so one can only assume that it you are playing with Poz guys you are not safe.


    Umm this is because young guys are not playing safe, not getting tested, think that bb is ok cuz there are pills now. All you guys need to read up.
    HIV is NOT that easy to get from PO guys who are on meds and undetectable for a certain amount of time. They are virtually non-infectious. And if you okay safe, which only means not getting fucked without a condom, you will not become infected. The real problem lies in the fact that when young guys sleep around, as we all have done when we were young, you should assume everyone is. Just taking someone's word on it isn't safe. They could be lying, or they could have been tested, and contracted it after their last test. If you are recently seroconverted, and your HIV is not in check with meds, you are highly virulent. C'mon guys, get informed and stop the fear!!!!
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Dec 09, 2012 4:57 PM GMT
    I'll definitely befriend one, but personally I couldn't get past it in a partner. It would bother me too much...
  • mr_bijae

    Posts: 229

    Dec 09, 2012 4:58 PM GMT
    Roguewave said
    Alpha13 saidIt's a real dilemma for me the infection rates are up especially for "educated" young guys so one can only assume that it you are playing with Poz guys you are not safe.


    Umm this is because young guys are not playing safe, not getting tested, think that bb is ok cuz there are pills now. All you guys need to read up.
    HIV is NOT that easy to get from PO guys who are on meds and undetectable for a certain amount of time. They are virtually non-infectious. And if you okay safe, which only means not getting fucked without a condom, you will not become infected. The real problem lies in the fact that when young guys sleep around, as we all have done when we were young, you should assume everyone is. Just taking someone's word on it isn't safe. They could be lying, or they could have been tested, and contracted it after their last test. If you are recently seroconverted, and your HIV is not in check with meds, you are highly virulent. C'mon guys, get informed and stop the fear!!!!


    ^- Wisdom
  • ParkerDLamb

    Posts: 129

    Dec 09, 2012 5:07 PM GMT
    Absolutely not!
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    Dec 09, 2012 5:10 PM GMT
    ParkerDLamb saidAbsolutely not!


    Oh Geez, paranoid much?
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 09, 2012 5:12 PM GMT
    Never and wouldn't even play a role unless I was contemplating having sex and then you use precautions. As far as friendships, shouldn't register in the least.
  • mr_bijae

    Posts: 229

    Dec 09, 2012 5:13 PM GMT
    Roguewave said
    ParkerDLamb saidAbsolutely not!


    Oh Geez, paranoid much?


    Easy there, tiger (pun intended)... The question was, "Do you guys avoid HIV positive guys like the plague? " and he responded "absolutely not". Isn't he saying he doesn't avoid HIV positive guys like the plague?

    Do you guys avoid HIV positive guys like the plague? Absolutely Not

    Read in line it sure sounds like he Does NOT avoid HIV + guys
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    Dec 09, 2012 5:14 PM GMT
    youngRJ1 saidDo you guys avoid HIV positive guys like the plague? (and be honest)

    Thoughts? Feelings? Etc?


    No. (I play safe/r and am negative.)
    I avoid a lot of characteristic types that I don't like.
    If there's chemistry between us I try to build a friendship and more when possible.
    C'est tout.
  • ParkerDLamb

    Posts: 129

    Dec 09, 2012 5:15 PM GMT
    Roguewave said
    ParkerDLamb saidAbsolutely not!


    Oh Geez, paranoid much?

    Excuse me?
    I was answering the question "Do you avoid HIV positive guys like the plague?" No I do not.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 09, 2012 5:17 PM GMT
    Treat others the way you would want to be treated. Duh.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Dec 09, 2012 5:18 PM GMT
    mr_bijae said
    Roguewave said
    ParkerDLamb saidAbsolutely not!


    Oh Geez, paranoid much?


    Easy there, tiger (pun intended)... The question was, "Do you guys avoid HIV positive guys like the plague? " and he responded "absolutely not". Isn't he saying he doesn't avoid HIV positive guys like the plague?

    Do you guys avoid HIV positive guys like the plague? Absolutely Not

    Read in line it sure sounds like he Does NOT avoid HIV + guys


    Ohh OOPS sorry Parker! My bad!!! YOU ROCK!
  • mr_bijae

    Posts: 229

    Dec 09, 2012 5:18 PM GMT
    BuddyinNYC said
    youngRJ1 saidDo you guys avoid HIV positive guys like the plague? (and be honest)

    Thoughts? Feelings? Etc?


    No. (I play safe/r and am negative.)
    I avoid a lot of characteristic types that I don't like.
    If there's chemistry between us I try to build a friendship and more when possible.
    C'est tout.


    I dated a HIV + guy in 1997 for about two years. We had a great sex life and I did not contract. He was shocked when I responded to his admission of status to me, "So? Are you taking your meds? Are you in good health? Are you attracted to me?" I was 26 at the time and he was 38. He was shocked that I, being so young was not concerned about his status. I was educated and knew that being safe would keep him from infecting me. Today, fifteen years later, the meds are much better at reducing the viral load to the point that, like you stated, medicated guys are not transmitting the disease, it's guys that are not tested and not treated that are sleeping with multiple partners.

    Unfortunately, it's like many other issues in today's culture, people do not listen to reason and education, they only respond to fear based hype.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Dec 09, 2012 5:18 PM GMT
    Roguewave said
    mr_bijae said
    Roguewave said
    ParkerDLamb saidAbsolutely not!


    Oh Geez, paranoid much?


    Easy there, tiger (pun intended)... The question was, "Do you guys avoid HIV positive guys like the plague? " and he responded "absolutely not". Isn't he saying he doesn't avoid HIV positive guys like the plague?

    Do you guys avoid HIV positive guys like the plague? Absolutely Not

    Read in line it sure sounds like he Does NOT avoid HIV + guys


    Ohh OOPS sorry Parker! My bad!!!



    we forgive u baby
  • ParkerDLamb

    Posts: 129

    Dec 09, 2012 5:19 PM GMT
    Roguewave said
    mr_bijae said
    Roguewave said
    ParkerDLamb saidAbsolutely not!


    Oh Geez, paranoid much?


    Easy there, tiger (pun intended)... The question was, "Do you guys avoid HIV positive guys like the plague? " and he responded "absolutely not". Isn't he saying he doesn't avoid HIV positive guys like the plague?

    Do you guys avoid HIV positive guys like the plague? Absolutely Not

    Read in line it sure sounds like he Does NOT avoid HIV + guys


    Ohh OOPS sorry Parker! My bad!!!


    Apology accepted!
  • gsh1964

    Posts: 388

    Dec 09, 2012 5:20 PM GMT
    No I do not avoid them.

    There was a time that I did, but I have since changed that opinion.

    HIV is not a death sentence that it used to be.

    There are so many people living "Happy, Healthy and Free with HIV" lives.

    With that being said, I'm not cavilier about me sexual practices and yes I still have safe sex.

    HIV isn't the only STD.

    It would suck to have herpes Ugh!
  • mr_bijae

    Posts: 229

    Dec 09, 2012 5:22 PM GMT
    gsh1964 said
    HIV isn't the only STD.


    This, Sir, is a very valid point and a reason for all to practice safe sex.
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    Dec 09, 2012 5:26 PM GMT
    mr_bijae said
    gsh1964 said
    HIV isn't the only STD.


    This, Sir, is a very valid point and a reason for all to practice safe sex.


    Yup! HepC and especially that recent strain of hard-to-treat gonorrhea is pretty scary shit! Ok I have calmed down now. That is the way I get on a cross country flight with hard seats and on-board wifi! Carry on boys!icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 09, 2012 5:31 PM GMT
    Of course this question is only valid if you're considering a sexual relationship with the person. If you're meeting someone to say hi, have lunch, etc, why would it be an issue. If you decide to develop a relationship with a person and they're positive, then I would have to ask what kind of relationship do you envision if it hinges on being able to have unprotected sex. With the ability to be able to protect yourself, I would think that the emotional connection would weigh much heavier than a specific physical act.

    If your intent is to get laid and move on, then you should be thinking about the consequences of contracting more than just HIV with everyone you sleep with. HIV is not the only reason for protection.

    I can't imagine finding someone that you can connect with emotionally and enjoy being with, doing things with and sharing time with and then giving that up because the person is HIV. To me that's losing sight of what you're looking for and getting hung up on something that should be addressed with caution but not feared as a plague.