Going clubbing made me depressed last night

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2012 5:19 PM GMT
    I'm horrible with headlines and titles , but here's the story,

    Went out to a gay dance club, maybe you know Rich's San Diego, haven't been in awhile. Went inside and there were tons of people rolling on ecstacy and just acting very sexually perverse kinda way. Saw many of my friends who were doing the same thing. I went around tried to change my vibes and stay positive but after an hour of being pushed around to do things I didn't want to on the dance floor I left by myself.

    Is it I don't belong there? It seems like every gay person I know loves this bar, why am I feeling these things- almost like I'm feeling superior to what's happening without any reason. Has anyone else encountered this ?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 09, 2012 5:23 PM GMT
    A lot of people feel the same way you do, and that's why they leave after an hour, and the group is whittled down to just those who want to party.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2012 5:24 PM GMT
    I don't get what you're saying. You said that you're feeling superior because your friends are on drugs and now, you're feeling depressed due to a superiority complex? Your feelings seem polar opposites!
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Dec 09, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    hey come hang out with me. icon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2012 5:36 PM GMT
    Erik101 saidI don't get what you're saying. You said that you're feeling superior because your friends are on drugs and now, you're feeling depressed due to a superiority complex? Your feelings seem polar opposites!



    Sorta yeah. I don't want to feel like I'm condescending. I am not better than my friends, I have no reason aside the choice not to consume drugs. If you have felt this you'll understand where I'm coming from
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2012 5:50 PM GMT
    oceanboy11 said
    Erik101 saidI don't get what you're saying. You said that you're feeling superior because your friends are on drugs and now, you're feeling depressed due to a superiority complex? Your feelings seem polar opposites!



    Sorta yeah. I don't want to feel like I'm condescending. I am not better than my friends, I have no reason aside the choice not to consume drugs. If you have felt this you'll understand where I'm coming from


    Fifteen years ago, I experienced my first and only circuit party! Lots of beautiful, shirtless men around but there were tons of drug use. I felt uncomfortable and I left with my friends whom I was glad didn't take any drugs like me. So I guess I should have felt superior at that time but I didn't. If anything, I felt sorry for those guys who were on drugs because they were bound to show up in the emergency room.

    I didn't get depressed either because I left with my friends who cared about me. So you're right....I don't know what it feels like. But here's what I do know, if your friends kept on pushing you to do drugs then in my opinion, they were never your friends from the get-go. No friend ever pushes another friend to doing something they don't want to. Despite your post club depression, glad to hear that you chose to be safe. I'm sure you have some friends who feel the same way and support your choice.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2012 5:52 PM GMT
    Just wait until the day that you walk into a club and realize that you're way too old to be in there. icon_sad.gif
    Most of your life, you're either too young or too old. "Just right" doesn't last for long.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 09, 2012 5:59 PM GMT
    Import saidhey come hang out with me. icon_redface.gif


    Don't listen to him. He'll blow coke up your butt.icon_surprised.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2012 6:18 PM GMT
    No one is better than someone. We are just better off. Your friends need drugs in order to even have fun. I've been in that world. Don't feel superior foe them just feel empathy and maybe try and get them some help.

    You learned that maybe you need to hang with a different crowd then.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 09, 2012 6:36 PM GMT
    Maybe you have found yourself ... while the others, are still trying to figure it out
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Dec 09, 2012 6:39 PM GMT
    U shuld pop some Molly tho, and see how u like it.

    U may fuckin love it and turn into one of those whores at the gay club acting all sinful and sexually suggestive. icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2012 6:53 PM GMT
    When I wanted to stop smoking in my 30s I also quit weekend drinking and for a short period stayed away from the bars so I could better change my habits, but after I got over cigs, I went back to having a good time at the bars and just ordered bottles of water, watching everyone else get silly. It wasn't a big deal.

    Not sure what's up with the superiority thing. Sounds like a personal problem. But my nephew complains about his friends doing drugs and he just comes home early. He wants to be a surgeon so I can understand he doesn't want to risk getting busted and he's a pretty serious kid but I still think it's a little sad. I don't understand why he can't have a good time with what friends he manages to make. I think he isolates himself sometimes because he's not so comfortable socializing. Odd because he comes from a very sociable family.

    When I was growing up we had a large group of friends, some were into getting high and others were not. I don't recall anyone feeling pressured. I don't recall anyone putting anyone else down for not getting high. In fact, only a few years ago, and I'm 55 already, I learned that one of my friends didn't get high back then when I didn't even realize that at the time. So it really did not make any difference to us.

    I think this runs deeper. I think there's some social skills missing, maybe some confidence missing and maybe some overcompensating with a superiority complex. Though pardon the McAnalysis as I've no idea who you are and only read this post of yours.

    During Thanksgiving weekend my nephew went out on a date. He called and texted his mother while we were at dinner about 4 times during his date. I couldn't fucking believe it. At 17 my mother would have been surprised to see me back at the house before 3 in the morning. Then he came home so fucking early because his date and other friends started partying that I took the kid out to a 10 pm movie on a Saturday night. WTF. I would have taken him out to the fucking bars after that but he was tired and just wanted to come home and go to sleep. The poor thing.

    If he gets into med school, these habits will serve him well. But if that turns out to not be his path, then, well, as mindgarden said: "Just right doesn't last for long."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2012 6:54 PM GMT
    Get better friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2012 7:18 PM GMT
    I don't feel I have a superiority complex in general. Just to those doing drugs. Oddly enough I'm like your nephew i also want to go into surgery. But what kind of leisure is it when all your friends do drugs and you have to go home early like a loner.

    The duality is that all the fun friends who aren't jaded and too nerdy end up being perverse and or doing drugs once at the club. I've done E and Molly in my life when I was younger but Moved on
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2012 7:19 PM GMT
    Gay bars/clubs aren't for everyone (including myself). It's not a good or bad thing. You should always try different things, but also acknowledge when you don't care for something.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2012 8:32 PM GMT
    Import saidU shuld pop some Molly tho, and see how u like it.

    U may fuckin love it and turn into one of those whores at the gay club acting all sinful and sexually suggestive. icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif
    What is this Molly?
  • roadbikeRob

    Posts: 14360

    Dec 09, 2012 8:41 PM GMT
    This is just more valid proof that gay clubs are not all that great anymore. But than neither are the straight clubs. It just seems that everyone in the clubs is either too busy texting or in a dreamworld. Nobody bothers talking with one another anymore. Another annoying feature of clubs today is all those ridiculous big screen televisions all over the damned place. I you wanted to watch tv, obviously you would have stayed home. I can see one big screen tv in a club but three, four, even five that is absolutely ridiculous. I don't bother with the clubs that much anymore. I go out three or four times a year at the most.
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Dec 09, 2012 8:47 PM GMT
    NJDewd said
    Import saidU shuld pop some Molly tho, and see how u like it.

    U may fuckin love it and turn into one of those whores at the gay club acting all sinful and sexually suggestive. icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif
    What is this Molly?


    MDMA

    duh.

    Anyway, when I lived in SD I found that all the fun people... did drugs. I guess I kinda got caught up in it. Buuuuuuuuuut I moved on from doing them and know that I can have a good time without it, despite my friends being on it. The superiority that you're feeling... is imagined. Simple as that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2012 9:08 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidA lot of people feel the same way you do, and that's why they leave after an hour, and the group is whittled down to just those who want to party do drugs, have drama, have unprotected sex, and waste their lives.


    Fixed.
  • HorrorHound

    Posts: 1435

    Dec 09, 2012 9:10 PM GMT
    I, too, don't enjoy my time at a gay club. AT ALL. icon_eek.gif

    Not due to other's "using", but mainly 'cuz I have absolutely NOTHING in common with 85% of the people that inhabit 'em.

    Therefore I have more o' my own fun chilling in.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 09, 2012 9:22 PM GMT
    I definitely don't recommend drugs to anyone, but one thing I can say is that if you do, do them, and have enough will power and self control to stop, you will definitely see the world with clearer eyes.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 09, 2012 9:27 PM GMT
    GAMRican said
    HottJoe saidA lot of people feel the same way you do, and that's why they leave after an hour, and the group is whittled down to just those who want to party do drugs, have drama, have unprotected sex, and waste their lives.


    Fixed.


    You mean, they're not just there looking for their future husband???icon_neutral.gificon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2012 10:05 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Import saidhey come hang out with me. icon_redface.gif


    Don't listen to him. He'll blow coke up your butt.icon_surprised.gif


    Or worse...meth.

    He's also the one who is also the Candid Traffic Camera star.

    Not a party I'd like to be any part of.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2012 10:05 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    GAMRican said
    HottJoe saidA lot of people feel the same way you do, and that's why they leave after an hour, and the group is whittled down to just those who want to party do drugs, have drama, have unprotected sex, and waste their lives.


    Fixed.


    You mean, they're not just there looking for their future husband???icon_neutral.gificon_cry.gif


    More like seeking their next "host" upon which to "feed".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 09, 2012 10:06 PM GMT
    In a twisted way I'm relieved to hear this is happening elsewhere in the country and I don't have to bail this beautiful city. But I agree that my perceivement is also adding to my inability to have fun.