Where are the normal dudes that actually wanna date?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2012 4:18 AM GMT
    I know this is probably the same everywhere but why is it so hard to find guys that actually wanna date?

    A couple weeks ago I had few first dates set up. On two of them we had a great time. But yet afterwards they pretty much just dropped off the face of the earth. I was interested in getting to know them better but yet it doesn't seem I will get the chance. It doesn't seem like these were guys that were looking for hookups so I don't think that was the reason we haven't hung out again. It just frustrates me that after having good dates guys disappear. Not to be cocky but I think I am a reasonably attractive guy. I have a good job. I am a nice person. But yet it seems to be extremely difficult for me to get past first dates. Starting to think I must be doing something wrong or not 'playing' the game correctly. icon_sad.gif
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    Dec 10, 2012 4:31 AM GMT
    ditto. Had same experiences 2 weeks in a row. The internet has messed things up for normalcy. I had a guy once that had a online greek name for "anonymous". Well that name fit him. I think everyone like you are feeling frustrated. My close friends included. I refuse to go on phone sex apps.
  • FuriousGeorge

    Posts: 181

    Dec 10, 2012 4:42 AM GMT
    Yeah, it's like that everywhere, and no, I doubt you're doing anything wrong. It's possible they're just not into you, and that's okay, but sometimes even when it seems like they're into you they don't follow through.There have been a couple of times when I actually plan on meeting up with someone via a dating site, and then they decide they don't want to at the last minute. Other people just vanish. Flakiness. Just keep up your own interests, don't lower your standards, and keep looking. We need more people interested in relationships.
  • morleyq

    Posts: 175

    Dec 10, 2012 6:00 AM GMT
    Are there really "dating" sites out there rather than "hookup" sites?
    I mean, that have a large active pool of users.

    I just joined Manhunt. The first line of my profile says "not into hookups". Before my pics cleared review... I had some people message me. What were they going on -- that I was new, i.e. fresh meat? They wanted right of first refusal?

  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 10, 2012 6:06 AM GMT
    LOL ... don't dispare ... who knows what's up with some of these guys ... maybe they are just bi curious or something ... Half the guys I met, always seem to be heading out of town for the next couple of weeks .... at least a couple have been honest and told me they had kids ... probably a wife too I imagine

    Did you ever see that old movie "Making Love"?

    Watch it sometime .. things really haven't changed that much .. except now they cruise the internet instead (or too)
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 10, 2012 6:09 AM GMT
    They already have boyfriends. You're doomed to be an old maid. Might as well start collecting cats and dolls with yarn hair.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2012 6:11 AM GMT
    I know how you feel. Many of the men I want to date aren't into me.

    And I'm sick of all of these hot straight men. Lol I'm gonna die alone.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 10, 2012 6:26 AM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince saidI know how you feel. Many of the men I want to date aren't into me.

    And I'm sick of all of these hot straight men. Lol I'm gonna die alone.

    Dying alone isn't so bad ... it's better then dying with some fuck head that makes your life miserable.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2012 6:35 AM GMT
    Let's start with where/how are you meeting your dates and then we can go from there.


    I know that I've had some good first dates with guys and not want to go out again if there's no spark.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2012 6:37 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    MashogaNubianPrince saidI know how you feel. Many of the men I want to date aren't into me.

    And I'm sick of all of these hot straight men. Lol I'm gonna die alone.

    Dying alone isn't so bad ... it's better then dying with some fuck head that makes your life miserable.


    Lol it takes a lot to make me miserable.
  • Steven791

    Posts: 95

    Dec 10, 2012 7:30 AM GMT
    It's the same here, the words 'friends' or 'relationship' seems to mean sex to everyone here. Two is apparently the number, last guy I went on two 'dates' (we just hung out) with told me he wanted to take me on an official first date and to think about what I wanted to do and I never heard back from him. The guy before that I went on several dates with and the last one we went on was at a favorite irish pub of mine. It's always loud and hard to hear without screaming at eachother so I didn't say much while we were in the restaurant so when we leave he freaks out and says that we can't date because he knows we will run out of things to talk about since I was so quiet that night icon_neutral.gif

    Idk, guys are weird.... No offense to anyone icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2012 7:39 AM GMT
    to all my beloved rj brothers,lets all give up on love and be .....

    foreveralone.png
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2012 7:41 AM GMT
    Cooper87 saidto all my beloved rj brothers,lets all give up on love and be .....

    foreveralone.png

    I've already subjected myself that I will never let another man (or anybody really) touch me ever again. icon_surprised.gif
  • Steven791

    Posts: 95

    Dec 10, 2012 7:42 AM GMT
    Cooper87 saidto all my beloved rj brothers,lets all give up on love and be .....

    foreveralone.png


    yeah, about at that point in time when i say fuck it, i have a hand, less drama than a boyfriend, similar benefits just no cuddling icon_sad.gif hahaha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2012 4:21 PM GMT
    I've met these guys online but honesty I don't know where else to meet anyone besides the bar. Gay friends are the worst about setting you up with anyone so that's out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2012 4:34 PM GMT
    princeofnash saidI've met these guys online but honesty I don't know where else to meet anyone besides the bar. Gay friends are the worst about setting you up with anyone so that's out.

    I think a lot of people meet just being in the right place at the right time. Therefore, logic would suggest you need to be in more places at more times. Which means get out more in general. icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2012 4:40 PM GMT
    Where are the normal dudes that actually wanna date?

    They're dating someone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2012 4:42 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    MashogaNubianPrince saidI know how you feel. Many of the men I want to date aren't into me.

    And I'm sick of all of these hot straight men. Lol I'm gonna die alone.

    Dying alone isn't so bad ... it's better then dying with some fuck head that makes your life miserable.


    Amen! Lol
  • mr_bijae

    Posts: 229

    Dec 10, 2012 4:46 PM GMT
    princeofnashWhere are the normal dudes that actually wanna date?


    <--Right here
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2012 4:56 PM GMT
    we all say we want THAT normal dude but seriously no one turns their head for normal guy or double check him at the bar .... sad icon_sad.gif
  • mr_bijae

    Posts: 229

    Dec 10, 2012 5:12 PM GMT
    nickJr saidwe all say we want THAT normal dude but seriously no one turns their head for normal guy or double check him at the bar .... sad icon_sad.gif


    This is all too true... I've wondered if I'm too normal/stable to be datable..
  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    Dec 10, 2012 5:14 PM GMT
    All the normal guys are still working the slut out of their system.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2012 5:49 PM GMT
    I think everyone who is single has this problem. You meet a guy, go on a date or two and they disappear. It's still the window where they shouldn't feel obligated to tell you they're not interested, though that'd be nice.

    Not sure what to tell you except that you're not alone. Dating just sucks but it's better (slightly) than the opposite.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 10, 2012 5:53 PM GMT
    mr_bijae said
    nickJr saidwe all say we want THAT normal dude but seriously no one turns their head for normal guy or double check him at the bar .... sad icon_sad.gif


    This is all too true... I've wondered if I'm too normal/stable to be datable..


    This might be true. I've been in three significant ltrs, including my current one, and I can tell you that the trick is to be eccentric and codependent. If you're already stable as a single person you might seem too rooted and banal for all the serious drama necessary for a gay relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 10, 2012 5:57 PM GMT
    It seems to me,(well, my observation) that most of the guys I've come across are always seeking "something better.." which never really exists..
    Not to say that one should settle for a skank... but, holy Madre di Dio!!! If you come across a great guy, albeit normal, you might wanna reconsider the "let me see if I can catch that one who's a few notches above my league!!!
    Just my 2 cents...