Turning an nsa guy into boyfriend material

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    Dec 10, 2012 9:09 PM GMT
    Say you meet a really kewl guy...everything you've been looking for.... the chemistry is there, but he's just into nsa. Do you walk away if it's not your preference, do you indulge him in the hopes of him changing his mind or is there a "how to" for getting him to date you instead....
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    Dec 10, 2012 9:13 PM GMT
    There is no point in trying to turn an NSA guy into a boyfriend. That's like trying to make alcohol from a Twinkie. Sure it can be done but what's the point?
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    Dec 10, 2012 9:17 PM GMT
    Most guys who are specifically looking for NSA and are upfront about it will get very upset if you try to convert that arrangement into something else.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 10, 2012 9:26 PM GMT
    Sounds like you have a fantasy about the guy, but he's probably not really everything you're looking for, if you're looking for a boyfriend.
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    Dec 10, 2012 9:32 PM GMT
    Durbdoc saidSay you meet a really kewl guy...everything you've been looking for.... the chemistry is there, but he's just into nsa. Do you walk away if it's not your preference, do you indulge him in the hopes of him changing his mind or is there a "how to" for getting him to date you instead....


    First thing: don't do ANYTHING "NSA" with someone who you think is "everything you've been looking for." Date (formally) and/or hangout (informally) for a little while... but no swapping spit or dropping trou under any circumstances. If he can't handle that, then he's not "everything you've been looking for."

    Second thing: Assume he's gone through lots of frayed "strings" well before he met you. Consider offering to get STD-tested together before doing anything NSA with him. It can help make it clear you take your relationship with him (and your health) seriously.

    Third thing: If it's too late for the "first thing," leave BRIEF communication that you're available if he's interested in taking things further anytime in the near future. If he doesn't respond, move on. Don't waste any time getting all Glenn Close with him.
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    Dec 10, 2012 9:52 PM GMT
    Kewl... so I've done this before.... stuck to my guns...maintained my views and the guy has walked away. An intelligent, mature guy. I still do this....but I'm starti ng to wonder if I'm being too anal and that maybe I should let up alittle. Is it me or am I right in standing my ground?
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    Dec 10, 2012 9:56 PM GMT
    One keeps the interaction alive as mutually enjoyed by both guys and let time and chemistry do their thing.