How would you feel?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 14, 2008 3:25 AM GMT
    Today I heard from a co-worker that one of the guys I have a crush on has herpes. I must say that for a minute, I was kinda grossed out, but, after thinking about it for a little, I determined that in no way did it effect my attraction to this guy. He still has a great personality and sexy body/face/eyes. If some how we were to get into a relationship, the only thing that would change is the precautions that would be taken so that I don't contract it too.

    How would you feel if you found out that a guy you have been crushing on had a STD? Would you change your views about him? Would he become less attractive to you? Do you think your general attitude twards him would change?
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    Sep 14, 2008 12:25 PM GMT
    I think that being told about it keeps it in the 'imaginary' realm so it doesn't influence how you see someone, but seeing the reality of the STD is a completely different story.
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    Sep 14, 2008 12:28 PM GMT
    Are you talking about genital herpes? I have had herpes simplex on my lips for as long as I remember (age 7 at least). They are also known as cold sores. They are easily treated now with Zovirax.
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    Sep 14, 2008 12:39 PM GMT
    SurrealLife saidAre you talking about genital herpes? I have had herpes simplex on my lips for as long as I remember (age 7 at least). They are also known as cold sores. They are easily treated now with Zovirax.


    Good idea! Lets shove some Zovirax on a dick and see what happens!
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    Sep 14, 2008 1:42 PM GMT


    How would we feel? We'd feel we would want to stay as far away from your co-worker as possible, who seems like some kind of public broadcast system of rumour and gossip.

    ....wonder how that guy you had a crush on would feel knowing this was flying around about him? Wonder how he'd feel about you believing it?
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    Sep 14, 2008 1:50 PM GMT
    I have to presume since you mentioned STD, that you are referring to HSV 2 which has an incidence in the male population of about 6.5%. With all the other preferences that guys seem to have on here if they decided to eliminate all the guys out there with an STD, I wonder how these guys ever expect to have any relationship at all. Just as you have mentioned, take the necessary precautions. In the case of HSV 2, do not rub your skin against any part of him that has a weepy sore.

    So, to answer your questions, I would feel OK, no, no, no.
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    Sep 14, 2008 3:26 PM GMT
    Herpes and other STD's that can be contracted just by touching a man's privates long enough to get his germs (not just sperm, but skin particles) are pretty hard to take precautions with. You couldn't do much without a condom, and even then Herpes can be present on lips, etc...

    My opinion would be changed of somebody I have a crush on that has an STD, as it would be changed by my brain not my heart. If it was more than a crush, a romantic/love situation, then I don't know what I would do. But he'd probably have to ask me to marry him before I even thought of going down there. The chances of contracting something simple like that are very high, and I better be compensated with a serious relationship if I have to deal with that kind of shit.
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    Sep 14, 2008 5:41 PM GMT


    Well everyone, seeing as how this is about herpes and not about idle and malicious gossipicon_rolleyes.gif - here's some facts:

    "... However, not all people who are infected always produce skin blisters, and it is possible for the virus to be produced and spread even when there are no visible sores or blisters. Kissing can also transmit the virus if the mucous membranes of the mouth are infected."

    HSV-1 and 2 can be found in both the mouth and the genital area. If someone performs oral sex on someone with HSV-2 , for example.

    This would indicate that kissing anyone can be an effective method of contracting the disease. It's estimated that 25% of all women and 20% of all men are infected.

    So that said, kissing is now a dangerous activity, right? We suppose holding hands will be next.

    We still think the big issue here is listening to gossip. The poor sod can't defend himself now without a doctor's letter proving he doesn't have it.

    In Canadian studies of 144 couples where one person was infected, the transmission rate was a little less than 16%. That's because couples are usually careful about each other and care enough not to do anything unless sure it's OK.
    We have a straight friend who cried her eyes out when she was diagnosed. Her boyfriend almost dumped her. Thankfully he loved her enough to stay. They were married for 25 years before he died of unrelated causes. They had a healthy child together.
    He never got infected.

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    Sep 14, 2008 7:13 PM GMT
    This seems to be all about whether your judgmental, honest, communicative (verbally).
    If I was told early on in the relationship, and the circumstances were honestly relayed, I don't think that there would be a problem.
    I guess I have a "Here's what you need to know about me..." approach to a new relationship. I would expect the same in return. I don't mean that you need to dump every skeleton in the closet and foible in your life on the first date. As you get to know someone, the trust needs to grow as you grow closer. If you start hiding more and more as you get into a relationship, especially if your afraid of losing the relationship because of your past, you need to disclose these things fairly early on.
  • scothman

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    Sep 14, 2008 7:31 PM GMT
    In terms of Herpes, the medications available are extremely advanced and while there is not cure for herpes, there are treatments that make it very difficult to spread. There are thousands of couples out there with one pos and one neg for herpes. Other STDs are a different story but for this one, just talk to your doctor.
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    Sep 14, 2008 7:31 PM GMT
    It wouldn't change my feelings one iota. That's also true with HIV+ status. If you love someone, you love someone. If you are attracted, you are attracted. Dealing with STD's is something to consider when and if you progress to sex. But, genital herpes would be far down on my list of even STDs that I'd worry about.

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    Sep 14, 2008 7:33 PM GMT
    I'd probably be relieved that we hadn't already smooched like crazy.

    Also, if I were attracted to him, I'd probably still be attracted to him.