WTF? Another rough patch.....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 11, 2012 11:36 PM GMT
    I have no idea if there's something in the water, it's the holidays or the winter season, but it seems many RJers have hit a rough patch lately and now it seems it's my turn. And no one knows this except for you guys, which in itself is pretty strange, I suppose.

    This is about week 3 of life being really tough. I won't get into specifics, but like quite a few of us, I'm having a really rough go of it. Day after day being lousy is bad enough, but what drives me crazy is the crying at the drop of a hat shit. That absolutely infuriates me because I can't seen to control it and it comes out of nowhere. Mind you, I didn't cry at my dad's funeral but I certainly did cooking dinner last night.

    It's not that I can't go on, it's just really shitty when each day is kind of the same. I keep thinking I'll power through it and I will, but this pretty much sucks.

    How did you guys get through a really difficult time? Anyone have tricks up their sleeve? I'm trying to get some things in place to try and remedy the situation, but in the meantime, I could use a hug. Not some wussy-assed “hi good to see you” hug. I need a good, heartfelt, strong 5-minute hug that will crack my ribs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 11, 2012 11:48 PM GMT
    My life has been littered with rough patches and in almost every form you can imagine. I used to whine about it, in real life, all the damn time. Whoa is me was almost my middle name, but nowadays people almost envy mean; which I don't like, cause they think I "got" something they don't. My only advantage is that I'm able to overlook the actual irrelevant happenings and move on.
    Maybe it is knowing that even if my life gets fucked up, destroyed, thrown in my face, and ruined again; that there is still a future to look forward to.
    The truth is, no matter what happens to you externally, the best thing you can do is learn how not to identify with the pain, anguish, and drama that are a result of the hell you're going through. Know that you're going to be okay, when this has finished; if you're not okay, than its not over... cliche, I know. Just keep your head up, and let the stupidity run its course. You're your own best advocate in life. Don't let that get away from you, cause once You Let It Go, you'll think that you were "robbed".
    Hold on, the weekend is near.

    Btw, sorry for recycling FB affirmations in this. They're what keep me from sinking deep into depression and negative thinking.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Dec 11, 2012 11:49 PM GMT
    One of the problems with the "power of positive thinking" approach is that it can easily become denial. It is true that having a positive outlook on life makes a big difference. But it is also true that we are complicated emotional beings with a lot of repressed experiences and feelings. "Repressed," by traditional Freudian standards, isn't just things that are "out of mind," but things that can not become conscious by an act of will on our part. One part of our psychological being is actively repressing another part. Since we identify with the 'conscious' part, we often don't understand what is going on when deep-seated emotions begin to surface. Often professional help is needed to fully experience and integrate that which has been repressed.

    In the mean time, here is a big, bone crushing hug:

    {{{{{{{ snowman_pictures.jpg }}}}}}}
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 12, 2012 2:33 AM GMT
    Change of scenery could do you some good. Loneliness sucks! Hope you get through this sad patch. I tried to distract myself with school work video games, but music and meditation helped me as well as smoking lots of cigarette's. I listened to a lot of Ulrich Schnauss and other relaxing electronic music. Just coming from my own personal experience. Hope you get through your emotions.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 12, 2012 2:37 AM GMT
    snowman3 saidWTF? Another rough patch.....
    Buy better suspension.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 12, 2012 2:38 AM GMT
    This is how I deal with it!

    ciroc.jpg
  • RaggedyMan

    Posts: 7185

    Dec 12, 2012 2:42 AM GMT
    RadRTT saidThis is how I deal with it!

    ciroc.jpg

    i hae a bottle of berry ciroq very very close by icon_smile.gif

    @ snoman- i know what you mean. doing the same thing every day gets monotonous. I always try to keep myself busy but I always find myself alone. always helps to let it out. i might do it on Rj here and there. its just random, like me icon_smile.gif
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Dec 12, 2012 2:46 AM GMT
    Churchill was right: When you are going through hell, keep on going.

    That little saying does not deny the situation. It does suggest facing it and making progress against it.

    Sometimes it is just a matter of one step at a time until you find you footing. As for comfort in distress. If you can find it, grab it. Getting bruises is one thing. Not putting ice on them is another.

    Ya just gotta do it and you will.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Dec 12, 2012 2:49 AM GMT
    RadRTT saidThis is how I deal with it!

    ciroc.jpg


    because alcoholism cures depression like gangbusters
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 12, 2012 2:53 AM GMT
    snowman3 saidI have no idea if there's something in the water, it's the holidays or the winter season, but it seems many RJers have hit a rough patch lately and now it seems it's my turn. And no one knows this except for you guys, which in itself is pretty strange, I suppose.

    This is about week 3 of life being really tough. I won't get into specifics, but like quite a few of us, I'm having a really rough go of it. Day after day being lousy is bad enough, but what drives me crazy is the crying at the drop of a hat shit. That absolutely infuriates me because I can't seen to control it and it comes out of nowhere. Mind you, I didn't cry at my dad's funeral but I certainly did cooking dinner last night.

    It's not that I can't go on, it's just really shitty when each day is kind of the same. I keep thinking I'll power through it and I will, but this pretty much sucks.

    How did you guys get through a really difficult time? Anyone have tricks up their sleeve? I'm trying to get some things in place to try and remedy the situation, but in the meantime, I could use a hug. Not some wussy-assed “hi good to see you” hug. I need a good, heartfelt, strong 5-minute hug that will crack my ribs.




    Are you getting 15 Minutes of sun daily on 15 percent jof your naked skin? It's probably a chemical imbalance which is exaggerated by male menopause. Vinyasa yoga can rebalance your body chemistry as well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 12, 2012 3:07 AM GMT
    @Snowman
    I'm not a real doctor, but I play 1 on the internet. Don't know what is going on with you, but it sounds like a real depression, which these days is being cured by real drugs and physical exercise. Studies have shown that LOTS of physical exercise helps eliminate depression. You have to see a real doctor to get drugs for depression, and it might take some time to find a drug that works best. There was also recent research that shows ketamine ( yes, the party drug) can eliminate depression some people in a matter of hours, instead of weeks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 12, 2012 3:25 AM GMT
    Well crap. I went to delete this and it was too late. People already started responding.

    Thanks for everyone's concern. Things will be fine. It just takes time.

    I have not been getting enough sun. I live in Ohio and in the wintertime, there is none. None, nada, zip. I have been going to the gym and working out like a crazy man (please pardon the pun) and that's been keeping things from getting totally out of hand.

    I internalize things. That is not a good thing. I should stop doing that.

    Thanks again, everyone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 12, 2012 3:41 AM GMT
    My tricks, the one I use to avoid aggravating my feelings and get stuck in the rough path.

    1 : Don't listen to your feelings.
    You know they are not really related to the situation, and you know they doesn't help at all. Accept them, suffer, but don't think about them, it just empower them.

    2: Don't feel guilty
    You didn't decide to be in that mood, it's just your brain and body doing it by themselves. You can't change how you feel by deciding to feel otherwise. But you can break the vicious cycle.

    2: Don't stay on your ass.
    Get out : go visit friends, families. drive to a theater to watch a movie instead of renting it from home. Accept anything changing your routine. It's not easy, because very likely you feel as having no energy to do anything, but you HAVE TO move your ass.

    3: Have fun.
    Your brain right now is tuned to ignore most anything positive. You can feel pain and sadness, but barely imagine than doing something fun will make you feel good. Do it anyway.
    Have sex. Even if you feel too low to raise it, keep trying, use the best porn you can find and wank.
    Treat yourself with tasty food, candy, ice cream, anything you usually try to avoid. you will get plenty of time (and energy) for fat burning while you are yourself again.
    Watch horror movie and comic movies. Both. Even if you don't like horror movie, if they are any good, they will make you unable to think about yourself for one hour and half. It's emotional rest.
    IF a comic movie can make you laugh, each and every laugh will shorten the time you will stay in the rough spot.

    If you can't break the depression spell on you own, then seek medical advice. You could have seasonal depression disorder, and there is specific (and not dangerous) way to avoid it.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 12, 2012 6:16 AM GMT
    snowman3 saidWell crap. I went to delete this and it was too late. People already started responding.

    Thanks for everyone's concern. Things will be fine. It just takes time.

    I have not been getting enough sun. I live in Ohio and in the wintertime, there is none. None, nada, zip. I have been going to the gym and working out like a crazy man (please pardon the pun) and that's been keeping things from getting totally out of hand.

    I internalize things. That is not a good thing. I should stop doing that.

    Thanks again, everyone.


    Working out like crazy is not the answer. Steady state cardio can even make it worse. Work out smart. Look into therapeutic yoga or Meridian stretching. It's impossible to internalize doing Vinyasa yoga because it causes you to get out of your head and back into your body. Your body gets sad when it's abandoned. Look into an Ott light if you aren't getting sunshine or take vitamin d and d3. Look into doing the 5 Tibetans Rites daily.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 12, 2012 6:26 AM GMT
    snowman3 saidI have no idea if there's something in the water, it's the holidays or the winter season, but it seems many RJers have hit a rough patch lately and now it seems it's my turn. And no one knows this except for you guys, which in itself is pretty strange, I suppose.

    This is about week 3 of life being really tough. I won't get into specifics, but like quite a few of us, I'm having a really rough go of it. Day after day being lousy is bad enough, but what drives me crazy is the crying at the drop of a hat shit. That absolutely infuriates me because I can't seen to control it and it comes out of nowhere. Mind you, I didn't cry at my dad's funeral but I certainly did cooking dinner last night.

    It's not that I can't go on, it's just really shitty when each day is kind of the same. I keep thinking I'll power through it and I will, but this pretty much sucks.

    How did you guys get through a really difficult time? Anyone have tricks up their sleeve? I'm trying to get some things in place to try and remedy the situation, but in the meantime, I could use a hug. Not some wussy-assed “hi good to see you” hug. I need a good, heartfelt, strong 5-minute hug that will crack my ribs.

    Sounds like classic depression. I'm not one to jump on suggesting anti depressants for people, but if it doesn't seem to change after awhile, & things like exercise don't help there's no shame in checking it out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 12, 2012 6:27 AM GMT
    snowman3 saidWell crap. I went to delete this and it was too late. People already started responding.

    Thanks for everyone's concern. Things will be fine. It just takes time.

    I have not been getting enough sun. I live in Ohio and in the wintertime, there is none. None, nada, zip. I have been going to the gym and working out like a crazy man (please pardon the pun) and that's been keeping things from getting totally out of hand.

    I internalize things. That is not a good thing. I should stop doing that.

    Thanks again, everyone.


    it sounds to me like you might also be suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, ironically shorthanded as "S.A.D." It is an emotional imbalance that is affected by the changing spectrum of sunlight in the winter weeks leading up to the winter solstice (which is today i think). Another member already mentioned getting lots of sunlight on your skin but it make also help to get a full-spectrum lamp or "happy light." They even make bedside ones that come on slowly in the morning to mimic an early sunrise.

    SAD can also exacerbate pre-existing depression that, on its own, is usually well-managed with or without the use of prescription drugs (i choose to avoid Rx drugs but for a personal reason). I find myself overly-emotional during the winter months and focus far too much on what is missing in my life (usually the concepts of unconditional love and companionship)

    My advice is not to keep your feelings bottled up. Most people will say "get out there and do stuff" but I know from experience how hard that is, having even gotten a mile into a forced bike-ride before turning around and playing homebody for the rest of the day. Certainly don't embrace the depression, but you needn't go through it on your own.
  • TroyAthlete

    Posts: 4269

    Dec 12, 2012 6:57 AM GMT
    VieniQui said
    Sounds like classic depression. I'm not one to jump on suggesting anti depressants for people, but if it doesn't seem to change after awhile, & things like exercise don't help there's no shame in checking it out.


    Antidepressants? After three weeks? icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 12, 2012 7:04 AM GMT
    TroyAthlete said
    VieniQui said
    Sounds like classic depression. I'm not one to jump on suggesting anti depressants for people, but if it doesn't seem to change after awhile, & things like exercise don't help there's no shame in checking it out.


    Antidepressants? After three weeks? icon_eek.gif


    this is the problem with our society. Got a problem? Pop a pill. Nobody ever thinks to try and find the active source of depression anymore. Yes, depression is caused by chemical imbalances in your brain. However it is often exacerbated by things that are going on in your life (or things that aren't for that matter). Depression is much easier to deal with when it doesn't get that extra oomph from crap in your life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 12, 2012 7:29 AM GMT
    TroyAthlete said
    VieniQui said
    Sounds like classic depression. I'm not one to jump on suggesting anti depressants for people, but if it doesn't seem to change after awhile, & things like exercise don't help there's no shame in checking it out.


    Antidepressants? After three weeks? icon_eek.gif


    As I wrote AfTER awhile if it doesn't change, & natural fixes like exercise don't help then to LOOK into it! I am not the problem, nor the majority of people. Obviously I wasn't suggesting he may need a pill after 3 weeks, but if this continues for a long time, & finds no relief then he shouldnt be deterred from finding an alternative from a medical proffesional that has once carried a stigma . Geez guys I'm trying to help the guy with advice he asked for, not disscuss with you when you don't even correctly read what I said in the first place! Damn happy holidays
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 12, 2012 2:47 PM GMT
    It's probably just male PMS. Everyone goes through that. Hang in there and don't do anything foolish that you might regret later on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 12, 2012 2:58 PM GMT
    Its going around. I have been in a shitty mood for the last 6 weeks. Not getting anything done. My pants are tighter and Ive gained weight. I am hoping I snap out of it after xmas.