Inability To get hard at all during sex, as a bottom

  • threefootpony

    Posts: 1

    Dec 12, 2012 10:13 PM GMT
    I know there are a number of threads like this on this board, however I have yet to see something truly related to what I'm dealing with.

    Basically here's the situation:
    I'm 27 years old, very high libido, great diet, and in the gym 5 days out of the week due to my routine. However, I fall into the category of "power bottom" due to my libido I'm insatiable, have incredible stamina when it comes to having my ass worked over inside and out, and yet, even though I'm horny as hell, and love every second of it I can't for the life of me get an erection.

    This crosses over to topping on the rare occasion as well, I could be horny enough to hump mud, and still can't maintain my erection, if I even get to that point.

    Don't get me wrong, I love being a bottom, I love sex and getting it often, it's just a major downer when the top can't tell if I am enjoying it, sans leaking copious amounts of pre. To the point where even 100mg of viagra doesn't even give me a wriggle, it's a headscratcher.

    After reading through most of the internet (a bit exaggerative maybe, but best way I know how to say that I've scoured as much info on this topic as I can) I know it's possible performance anxiety on both fronts, but in the end if anxiety was the case, I wouldn't be ready to go for it, and have that burning NEED for it constantly.

    The only way I can get off, is by masturbating, and even having other people try to do that for me ends in failure. I'm not sure if it's a short attention span, the fact I'm a larger than average in the pants type of guy, or whatever else could be the issue. One thing I do know is that I'm tired of not having answers, hammering on my prostate with no results, by myself or others doing it, and not being able to get hard for anyone but myself, no matter the role.


    So if anybody has any insight, it'd be greatly appreciated.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2012 5:57 AM GMT
    first thing first.

    Is the sex enjoyable? do you feel satisfied after bottoming?

    if the answer is yes and this needs no more investigation!

    A good top knows when a bottom is enjoying it based off more then just his erection.

    Hell a hardon doesn't mean squat!

    I've been with guys who get hard just being touched and others who don't move even though they are squealing for more.

    Each guy is different and each person has their inherent quirks.

    that's life.

    and if your top don't get that you need a better top
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2012 6:36 AM GMT
    threefootpony saidInability To get hard at all during sex, as a bottom
    The top doesn't care as long as he gets his nut. Now STFU and keep workin' it, bitch.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2012 6:46 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidWhen I'm getting plowed, it's as if all my sensation does a 180 from my dick to my ass...pretty rare I stay hard getting fucked....but I am DEFINITELY having a good time. icon_twisted.gif


    And as an addendum to that, for the OP, *communication* is very important. Sometimes you both can't get off at the same time, sometimes one has to do most of it themselves to get off (but with some supporting stimulation e.g ball/taint licking, or "bookending" it with some oral at the beginning and end), or sometimes it's the session just for one or the other. But as long as you communicate, and this is undertood, it's still a lot of fun with no hurt feelings.

    As a top, It's most often been difficult for me to *finish* in a bottom. Because of conventions in porn, that seems to be more generally accepted. I luckily don't have that problem these days, though. icon_wink.gif

    Dave, love it when your fine ass milks my dick dry!!!
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 14, 2012 3:50 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidfirst thing first.

    Is the sex enjoyable? do you feel satisfied after bottoming?

    if the answer is yes and this needs no more investigation!

    A good top knows when a bottom is enjoying it based off more then just his erection.

    Hell a hardon doesn't mean squat!

    I've been with guys who get hard just being touched and others who don't move even though they are squealing for more.

    Each guy is different and each person has their inherent quirks.

    that's life.

    and if your top don't get that you need a better top





    agree icon_exclaim.gif

    Contrary to what gay porn movies try to teach us, not every bttm stays hard during insertion, anal sex; not every btm jizzes hand free while being fucked.


    icon_idea.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 14, 2012 4:32 PM GMT
    Maybe try more foreplay, or jack off while you're being fucked.....

    I'm usually rock hard when I bottom, and clamping down. It definitely makes the intensity more pleasurable. But probably everyone's different. It shouldn't really be a thing for your partner.

    As far as staying hard while topping, that might be performance anxiety about not being able to cum. I've had that happen and it sucks!!! But usually a bj will take care of it.icon_twisted.gif
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Dec 20, 2012 12:51 AM GMT
    I wouldnt worry about it. Some times it really is the guy you are with. I had a boyfriend who would get me hard and I would stay hard the whole time, even well after I would climax. My most recent boyfriend I would go up and down, but he liked to switch things up every few minutes so I contributed to me going hard soft hard to me having to switch focus all the time.

    My issue is when guys wanna take a ride, if you want to have the stiffest ride possible, then hop on as soon as the ride is ready because the first time the roller coaster comes up will be the best ride of the night, and the strongest. I personally find it draining if I have to sit there and take a few to get hard again and again and again.

    No two human beings are wired the same way, unless you are identical twins. Know what you can do and work with it.