3 months of dating without bf title?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 1:43 AM GMT
    I kinda posted about this guy before in months past, but we've basically been seeing eachother every weekend for just over 3 months.... Sometimes, we see eachother 2 or 3 times a week, sometimes 1 or 2....but we always see eachother consistently. .

    I've met some of his family. We will exchange gifts for xmas. (i've been shopping), we talk/txt daily. HOWEVER::

    we have not spoken of exclusivity or of having the official "bf" title.

    My question: Why is there no title? I don't wanna come across as needy like I NEED a title, but im getting tired of spinning my wheels in the dating scene. When we go out, we usually pay for eachother. Sometimes, I'll pay...Sometimes, he'll pay. . . but we dont go "dutch" just one of us will end up paying for both.


    How can I make him mine without effin it up? I dont wanna sabotage a good thing here, by lookin like im desperate or clingy

    anyone have some input on this? as to why we dont have a title?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 2:21 AM GMT
    My question to you would be, when you asked him why no BF title, what did he say? Because when you ask a bunch of complete strangers on an internet site, chances are you will get a bunch of complete stranger answers, like ask him, or you're just a booty call, or he doesn't want a BF, or he is engaged to a woman, or whatever.

    Ask him.

    Next.
  • comical44

    Posts: 723

    Dec 13, 2012 2:23 AM GMT
    maybe hes waiting for you tell him you want him to be your bf or maybe hes nervous to ask you to be his bf?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 2:40 AM GMT
    smartmoney saidMy question to you would be, when you asked him why no BF title, what did he say? Because when you ask a bunch of complete strangers on an internet site, chances are you will get a bunch of complete stranger answers, like ask him, or you're just a booty call, or he doesn't want a BF, or he is engaged to a woman, or whatever.

    Ask him.

    Next.


    alright man, well I haven't asked him yet.
    I guess im just trying to see if others out there have gone through a similar situation and what their experiences were like....and maybe some moral support? I dunno dude. Kinda just trying to figure this out is all.

    I get that i should ask him. I get that, but is this something that's generally normal? 3 months is a long time to date someone if nothing is gonna come of it. so im just seein what others have went through or have done.

    I want this to work. I know if I ask him the right way, he cant turn me down.....
    BUT

    he can turn me down...and thats what makes me a bit nervous.

    aint there a saying out there? "dont ask questions u dont wanna know the answers to?" lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 2:58 AM GMT
    It's always a little nerve-wracking to finally pop the exclusivity and/or bf question.

    Maybe ask while on a date; make it cute. icon_smile.gif

    However if things don't exactly go as expected, be sure to ask open ended questions to why he doesn't want to. It'll help you gauge where he is in the relationship
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 3:54 AM GMT
    have a friend ask him in front of you two....and gauge his reaction/response.

    or you could just be direct about it.

    in either case, it will lead to a conversation starter for the both of you icon_wink.gif
  • cincyman513

    Posts: 2

    Dec 13, 2012 4:00 AM GMT
    Just simply ask him "what are we?" and be honest with him and tell him that you just wanna know because your confused and want it cleared up. (90 percent of the time they are going to respond with a question. In my experience if they focus more on why your asking its a sign of insecurity or displacement I guess. You want him to answer with questions like "idk what do you think we are?" or idk anything that leAves the possibilities open). If he does respond negatively to the question though I wouldn't think to much of it. He might just not be ready yet. You just asking the question though will give him an idea of where you want to take the relationship and it'll let him know he needs to start taking it more seriously. That's just from my lame experiences haha.


    Sorry if this is a poorly written phone but I'm new to the who IPhone keyboard :s.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 4:24 AM GMT
    cincyman513 saidJust simply ask him "what are we?" and be honest with him and tell him that you just wanna know because your confused and want it cleared up. (90 percent of the time they are going to respond with a question. In my experience if they focus more on why your asking its a sign of insecurity or displacement I guess. You want him to answer with questions like "idk what do you think we are?" or idk anything that leAves the possibilities open). If he does respond negatively to the question though I wouldn't think to much of it. He might just not be ready yet. You just asking the question though will give him an idea of where you want to take the relationship and it'll let him know he needs to start taking it more seriously. That's just from my lame experiences haha.


    Sorry if this is a poorly written phone but I'm new to the who IPhone keyboard :s.


    haaha whoa man thanks for putting forth all that effort to type all that thru ur phone lmao.

    Thats good advice.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 4:35 AM GMT
    After 3 months and consistent communication it will go somewhere as long as there is a clear direction. If you are as close to each other as you say then a simple question shouldn't ruin things. But don't be a fool either.. when you ask those type of questions be ready for all possible answers
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 4:40 AM GMT
    Labeling a relationship too soon is like confining it to a box. Love doesn't grow in a box.

    I used to fall so easily for these labels. I realized that the discomfort I had for not knowing was just my fear of losing control. I wanted to know if that person would be here with me still tomorrow just like I want to know my car will start in the morning. I wanted to know the future. The future is something I can't control, I never will, and I will never know. I wanted someone to be mine, but I found out people aren't possessions no matter how hard I tried.

    I've been seeing the same guy for seven months. We still have never had the boyfriend talk because we don't need to. Of course, we've discussed being monogamous, and we are. The fact of the matter is that we would both be okay and two complete entities without a label or with a label.

    My past has shown me that the moment I start worrying and being fearful about tomorrow or 'Is he the one?' is the moment I stop having fun.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 5:12 AM GMT
    That most special moment to pop the "Are you my boyfriend?" question, with the highest probability of hearing "Yes!",...



















    ...is when you've got him totally-fucked-balls-deep, looking him in the eyes with that "I love you! YOU'RE MINE!" face.
    When he answers "Yes!", keep screwing him deeply and thoroughly.
    Continue the interrogation with follow on questions which demand ever greater answers of commitment. For example:
    1. Start specific. While you are working the head of your dick just inside his hole, ask him "Who's hole is that?" The correct answer should be something like "Your hole, Sir."
    2. Get more general. While you're long dicking him slowly, sink your dick to the root, pause, and ask, "Who owns you?" The correct answer should be something like, "You do, Sir."
    3. Go universal. While you're hammer fucking him, you TELL him something like, "That hole is mine! That ass is mine! Your body is mine! You belong to me, and nobody else but me! Do you agree, boy?! Answer me NOW!" Of course, the answer should be something like "I agree that I belong to you and only you, Sir!" Don't settle for just a "Yes!" or "I agree!" Fuck him until he says the words you want to hear. Then, make him seal his vow with his own orgasm. Continue fucking him until you cum.

    Record this on video (multiple angles with professional editing) to remind him of that special moment when he entered into bond with you. Never let him forget that moment. He must know who is in charge. Continue to keep him well fucked all the time until he cannot imagine being with anybody but YOU! Fuck him hard until he is slack jawed and drooling. Put him away wet!

    Own him!


    tumblr_maa5rjRc1X1qjzwvbo3_250.gif
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Dec 13, 2012 6:14 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidThat most special moment to pop the "Are you my boyfriend?" question, with the highest probability of hearing "Yes!",...



















    ...is when you've got him totally-fucked-balls-deep, looking him in the eyes with that "I love you! YOU'RE MINE!" face.
    When he answers "Yes!", keep screwing him deeply and thoroughly.
    Continue the interrogation with follow on questions which demand ever greater answers of commitment. For example:
    1. Start specific. While you are working the head of your dick just inside his hole, ask him "Who's hole is that?" The correct answer should be something like "Your hole, Sir."
    2. Get more general. While you're long dicking him slowly, sink your dick to the root, pause, and ask, "Who owns you?" The correct answer should be something like, "You do, Sir."
    3. Go universal. While you're hammer fucking him, you TELL him something like, "That hole is mine! That ass is mine! Your body is mine! You belong to me, and nobody else but me! Do you agree, boy?! Answer me NOW!" Of course, the answer should be something like "I agree that I belong to you and only you, Sir!" Don't settle for just a "Yes!" or "I agree!" Fuck him until he says the words you want to hear. Then, make him seal his vow with his own orgasm. Continue fucking him until you cum.

    Record this on video (multiple angles with professional editing) to remind him of that special moment when he entered into bond with you. Never let him forget that moment. He must know who is in charge. Continue to keep him well fucked all the time until he cannot imagine being with anybody but YOU! Fuck him hard until he is slack jawed and drooling. Put him away wet!

    Own him!


    tumblr_maa5rjRc1X1qjzwvbo3_250.gif


    whaaa.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 6:54 AM GMT
    @ GAMRican: You, SIR, are a CONSUMATE CHARMER... icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 7:00 AM GMT
    PR_GMR said
    GAMRican saidThat most special moment to pop the "Are you my boyfriend?" question, with the highest probability of hearing "Yes!",...



















    ...is when you've got him totally-fucked-balls-deep, looking him in the eyes with that "I love you! YOU'RE MINE!" face.
    When he answers "Yes!", keep screwing him deeply and thoroughly.
    Continue the interrogation with follow on questions which demand ever greater answers of commitment. For example:
    1. Start specific. While you are working the head of your dick just inside his hole, ask him "Who's hole is that?" The correct answer should be something like "Your hole, Sir."
    2. Get more general. While you're long dicking him slowly, sink your dick to the root, pause, and ask, "Who owns you?" The correct answer should be something like, "You do, Sir."
    3. Go universal. While you're hammer fucking him, you TELL him something like, "That hole is mine! That ass is mine! Your body is mine! You belong to me, and nobody else but me! Do you agree, boy?! Answer me NOW!" Of course, the answer should be something like "I agree that I belong to you and only you, Sir!" Don't settle for just a "Yes!" or "I agree!" Fuck him until he says the words you want to hear. Then, make him seal his vow with his own orgasm. Continue fucking him until you cum.

    Record this on video (multiple angles with professional editing) to remind him of that special moment when he entered into bond with you. Never let him forget that moment. He must know who is in charge. Continue to keep him well fucked all the time until he cannot imagine being with anybody but YOU! Fuck him hard until he is slack jawed and drooling. Put him away wet!

    Own him!


    tumblr_maa5rjRc1X1qjzwvbo3_250.gif


    whaaa.gif


    ^^ LOL!
  • Felony84

    Posts: 40

    Dec 13, 2012 7:03 AM GMT
    It sounds like you are already boyfriends. He may be wondering the same thing. Try saying something like, "Oh I told someone that you were my boyfriend." Weave it in somehow to see his reaction.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 7:05 AM GMT
    Learn to use rope and he'll be yours forever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 7:27 AM GMT
    "we have not spoken of exclusivity or of having the official "bf" title. "

    Read this one line you wrote, have a think, have a chat, then issue resolved. Magic.

    The key to most 'problems' in life is communication.
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    Dec 13, 2012 7:27 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidLearn to use rope and he'll be yours forever.


    I suggest proof coil chain.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 7:32 AM GMT
    89ffecee_laugh.gif

    lol @ gamrican,or op can pee on ur bf,leave teeth marks or forced him have ur name tattooed on his body,um not really,icon_lol.gif,just ask him coyly(not while having sex) like r we like dating now?Or do u see any other ppl?Or so we kinda like couple,wat do u think?I think just keep it subtle and dun be pushy coz u dun want to scare him away.Good luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 7:35 AM GMT


    My advice. No need for labels icon_smile.gif
    As long as the love is there, you know icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 7:35 AM GMT
    GAMRican said
    paulflexes saidLearn to use rope and he'll be yours forever.


    I suggest proof coil chain.
    Rope is easier to tie and less expensive.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2012 7:42 AM GMT
    don't ask him about any titles, tell him that you're ready to give him one... be the leading lady of this relationship. icon_smile.gif
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Dec 13, 2012 8:08 AM GMT
    vitaliyvloan saiddon't ask him about any titles, tell him that you're ready to give him one... be the leading lady of this relationship. icon_smile.gif


    I think I like this advice. Very proactive and not possessive.
  • Rincore

    Posts: 14

    Dec 13, 2012 10:51 AM GMT
    i totally had a similar situation. i started having a crush on a guy. we would see each other once in a while when clubbing becuase he was a friend of a friend. One day i got the courage to invite him to go hiking, just the two of us and he agreed. So we talked and since that day he kept calling me nicknames and texting me every morning asking how I was doing. We would talk all day and things would get flirty once in a while. I was always afraid of saying hello in the morning because i didn't wanna come off as desperate but luckily he would always say good morning and ask me what i was up to.

    After about 3 weeks of this, something came up where I asked him "so what are you gonna study for the next few months?" and he responded with "your body". This was the most forward he had ever been and it made me get all excited but i kept calm. I tried to play it off as a joke and was like "haha" but then he asked "is that a yes?" and with everything we had gone through i figured that was his clear sign of us being a thing so i said "yes of course" and well we continued talking. I was really happy cuz even though we hadn't said we were bf's i figured it meant he liked me.

    So that night we hung out, me him and our other friend. it was cold so while laying down he snuggles up next to me. He later grabs my arm and places it around him and proceeds to play with my hands. I figured this was it, it was understated that we were a "thing". I decided to go with it and later on I put my arm around him again and he didn't object.

    A few days later he slept over at my place and while in bed we started kissing and I was so happy. Yet in the middle he nonchalantly asks "um so you dont like me right??" and it caught me off guard and i said "yes i do like you....alot" and he says, "oh well i mean, i like you too but not in that way....we would never work out"

    It hurt. You might be in the samw situation where yea everything seems lovey dovey but the other person is only in it cuz they dont want to be tied down. You should bring it up before it goes any longer otherwise you'll just end up more hurt. =(
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Dec 13, 2012 5:13 PM GMT
    dude, dont worry about the label....

    U 2 are obviously choosing to hang with eachother and make time for eachother, so the attraction is already there. The fact that yallz are making time for eachother says a lot. He introduced u to some of his fam too? That's great, I think. . . . Says a lot right there.

    Just go with it, I'm tellin u.
    Just don't lose yourself in it. . Continue to have your life, hang with ur friends, do ur hobbies, dont get all crazy.....

    Guys will be guys... They wanna have their options eternally open, which is why so many never committ.

    I think today's generation (mine included) is one of a "hook-up" culture...and friends with benefits culture vs older generations of wanting to committ.

    If anything, i would establish the exclusivity part for safety's sake.
    I know no one can ever be 100% trusted, but maybe establish the whole "im not fucking anyone else....are u?"....and dont even say the term "boyfriend"....if he agrees that you're the only one he's with....than establish that.
    At least u can feel like he's not running around with other guys when he's not with u...

    once yall agree to only be with eachother....the "boyfriend" title may just come up naturally and organically....it's pretty much a given at that point.