how adept are you at making rules in a relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2012 9:13 PM GMT
    Can you get with someone and then stick with as like a second chance if they annoy you? Are you capable of controlling your temper and setting boundaries? There's anger management hypnosis to help.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Dec 15, 2012 5:04 AM GMT
    Ive tried as problems surfaced in my last two relationships. They blew up in my face though. I will have to try this hypnosis out next time. :p
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Dec 15, 2012 6:00 AM GMT
    To piggy back on this topic. In my dating experience, why do guys automatically assume they are being an awful boyfriend if you want to create rules, guidelines, or procedures. Relationships are about compromise or am I too young and naive?
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    Dec 15, 2012 6:04 AM GMT
    MidwesternKid said... or am I too young and naive?


    These are the interwebz. Nothing is as it seems. There are no rulz.
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    Dec 15, 2012 6:10 AM GMT
    If a relationship Needs rules over requests, it's a dying horse in a quarter mile race... DEAD!
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    Dec 15, 2012 6:20 AM GMT
    You set boundaries with kids, not with partners.
    Otherwise, it means a relationship is a one way thing for you : your way.

    Finding common ground to live in harmony is all about good communication, there is very little need for explicit rules.

    My partner and I have only two rules :

    Rule one : 'If I do something that annoy you, tell it to me as soon as you realize it, don't wait'.

    Rule two : "If ever you cheat on me, I want a video record, with good lighting".

    Those are mutual rules.
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    Dec 15, 2012 6:40 AM GMT
    The only rule we've agreed on is to have an open communication at all times. In other words, we don't bottle it up. We bring it out into the open and immediately come up with a solution and a better understanding of each other. It has worked so far for the last 3 years.....
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    Dec 15, 2012 6:56 AM GMT
    I have a few rules...

    If I tell you to go away it means go away.. if you tell me to go away it means I'll go away.

    If I'm pissed at you i'll tell you.. if you walk away while I'm telling you don't come back..

    If I get grumpy it usually means I'm hungy, I want my hair played with, I need a cuddle or I want you to go away.

    In my bed you sleep naked... any bed I am in is my bed... that rule follows me everywhere I go and is none negotiable.

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    Dec 15, 2012 7:03 AM GMT
    icon_confused.gifHmmm....I've always heard that setting boundaries when something is genuinely making the other uncomfortable was a way of establishing mutual respect and trust. It seems as if many times one person becomes resentful of the other, blows up and then leaves the relationship instead of saying, "This makes me uncomfortable" and working through the situation. I dunno though, that was just my take on setting boundaries. Of course some boundaries being set around someone's personal quirks ( for example the way they talk) is just overly excessive and frankly does nothing.
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    Dec 15, 2012 7:17 AM GMT
    LitAwake saidCan you get with someone and then stick with as like a second chance if they annoy you? Are you capable of controlling your temper and setting boundaries? There's anger management hypnosis to help.


    Is the hypnosis going to help me make rules for a relationship or to help me deal with my rage when I can't keep a boy on lockdown?

    Why not just hypnotize the other guy and set the rules in his head?
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    Dec 15, 2012 7:28 AM GMT
    Bad. I'm too trusting. But I figure, if you can't trust the guy you're in the relationship, why are you in the relationship in the first place? I don't really want to be in a relationship with "rules" other than Rule No. 1: Trust; Rule No. 2: Commitment.
    If I felt I had emotional or anger issues, I don't think I would feel ready to be in a trusting, committed relationship. I have to know and love myself before I can know and love others.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Dec 15, 2012 7:32 AM GMT
    There are rules in a relationship? That sounds like Sheldon's roomate agreement. Are you in love with each other or just pretending?
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    Dec 15, 2012 4:01 PM GMT
    I don't like too many rules in my relationship, but I do agree that there has to be some rules so that the parties' expectations are fully met. My most important rule is, no lies no matter what. I'd rather know the truth than look stupid.
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    Dec 15, 2012 5:19 PM GMT
    I'm gonna disagree with the majority here and I think rules in a relationship are very important. Every relationship be it platonic, romantic or business needs to have guidelines.
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    Dec 15, 2012 5:21 PM GMT
    I wouldn't call them rules. I would say they are the terms of your relationship. You do what is comfortable for both of you.

    Honesty isn't a rule that is just how someone is you either trust them or you don't.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Dec 15, 2012 5:44 PM GMT
    Rules are made to be broken
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    Dec 15, 2012 5:47 PM GMT
    If he tells me to wear a collar- Ill put it on
    If he tells me to get on me knees- Sure
    If he tells me to rob a bank- How much money do you want, sir?

    If he tells me to lego my ego- Bitch is out the front door


    (I am very bored)
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    Dec 16, 2012 9:20 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidYou sound like a lot of work. I think you should get a dog. Dogs are good at taking orders and obeying.

    I agree!

    Its why I'm single, don't date, don't mess around with guys and generally enjoy my hand.

    it does as it's told!
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    Dec 16, 2012 2:36 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidI have a few rules...

    If I tell you to go away it means go away.. if you tell me to go away it means I'll go away.

    If I'm pissed at you i'll tell you.. if you walk away while I'm telling you don't come back..

    If I get grumpy it usually means I'm hungy, I want my hair played with, I need a cuddle or I want you to go away.

    In my bed you sleep naked... any bed I am in is my bed... that rule follows me everywhere I go and is none negotiable.



    That doesn't sound too bad. Its sounds like s breeze compared to some of the men I've met.
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    Dec 18, 2012 2:08 AM GMT
    lilTanker said

    In my bed you sleep naked... any bed I am in is my bed... that rule follows me everywhere I go and is none negotiable.



    That's where the problem would lie for me, haha. If it's my bed.....it's my bed. I don't care who the hell is in it. The closest a person will get is "shared ownership."


    I really have one guideline, and that is to UNDERSTAND that we are two separate people. I have my friends, he has his. If I want to go out without the bf, then I believe there should be no problem with that. I'll allow the same. If he needs time alone, fine. I'm gonna need that shit also, haha.

    When it all boils down to it, as long as you don't cheat on me and come home to my bed, then everything's good.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Dec 20, 2012 5:27 AM GMT
    RadRTT saidIf he tells me to wear a collar- Ill put it on
    If he tells me to get on me knees- Sure
    If he tells me to rob a bank- How much money do you want, sir?

    If he tells me to lego my ego- Bitch is out the front door


    (I am very bored)


    Ill take a waffle over another s*** head of a boyfriend.