Progression of a Crush


  • Dec 15, 2012 4:34 AM GMT
    Does there ever come a time where propensity to crush on someone dissipates? Long story short, but I have a straight friend that I would describe as the complete package (other than his sexual orientation of course). There was never a point where I would try and hit on him or anything, but I would sometimes fantasize about how great it would be in a relationship with him if he was gay. After a few weeks, those feelings would subside, and now I am at the point where I could only consider him as a brother-type.

    Looking back I have to laugh because it seems no different than a teenage girl crush on Justin Beeber. However, I am slightly concerned because I am afraid I will always have this crush-mentality - where I find interest in a guy for a while, but that attraction goes away.

    Am I concerning myself over nothing? Has anyone else transferred their crush-like feelings into a mature, and lasting relationship?
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    Dec 15, 2012 4:48 AM GMT
    I am starting to think most people still do this for some reason.

    Maybe I'm not the best person cause I meet someone I like and it's become an immediate internal no at any of those sorts of feelings.

    But I often see it in others, that eagerness.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 15, 2012 5:00 AM GMT
    Maybe it is where the phrase love-at-fisrt-site comes from.

  • Dec 15, 2012 5:38 AM GMT
    Well there is love at first sight, but what happens when that sight gets distorted? Get new contacts or change the view?
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 15, 2012 5:42 AM GMT
    Well ... you indicate that after a while you lost your crush on your friend ... maybe your subconscious realized ... hey, this ain't never gonna happen ... or it was that fart he cut in front of you that blew away the fog of disillusionment from your eyes icon_twisted.gif
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    Dec 15, 2012 5:50 AM GMT
    I've never had a crush, but I understand what you mean. In my opinion, you have just accepted the fact that a relationship with him is impossible.

    Are you concerned over nothing?
    Probably. Like I said above, you've probably just accepted you won't be with him and moved on.

    Have I transferred their crush-like feelings into a mature, and lasting relationship?

    No, I haven't.
  • reptile18

    Posts: 199

    Dec 15, 2012 6:20 AM GMT
    foosballwizard saidWell there is love at first sight, but what happens when that sight gets distorted? Get new contacts or change the view?


    It doesn't have to be reciprocated for it to be called love at first sight.
  • Mike129

    Posts: 20

    Dec 15, 2012 6:30 AM GMT
    Your crush probably went away if he showed any interest in you. You probably would have continued to have feelings for you if he was gay and teased you at least lol. I'm talking from my experience with girls, If the girl ignores you, you I'll just forget about her. But if she shows the slightest interest that she's into me, then i"m still hooked.
    Sorry if that answer wasn't gay enough for you guys lmao am I gonna get banned icon_eek.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Dec 15, 2012 7:03 AM GMT
    Dude ....A crush is pure fantasy with time and maturity other traits and virtues are realized....Don't worry about past misunderstandings or judgements it ain't worth it...
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    Dec 15, 2012 8:11 AM GMT
    foosballwizard saidDoes there ever come a time where propensity to crush on someone dissipates? Long story short, but I have a straight friend that I would describe as the complete package (other than his sexual orientation of course). There was never a point where I would try and hit on him or anything, but I would sometimes fantasize about how great it would be in a relationship with him if he was gay. After a few weeks, those feelings would subside, and now I am at the point where I could only consider him as a brother-type.

    Looking back I have to laugh because it seems no different than a teenage girl crush on Justin Beeber. However, I am slightly concerned because I am afraid I will always have this crush-mentality - where I find interest in a guy for a while, but that attraction goes away.

    Am I concerning myself over nothing? Has anyone else transferred their crush-like feelings into a mature, and lasting relationship?
    Consider yourself lucky that the crush feelings fade. I have a crush on a couple straight friends. It doesn't fade, ever.

    I think some people are just wired to be able to separate the feelings of friendship and romantic desire, and others will always long for the romantic side, despite knowing they'll never get it.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Dec 15, 2012 8:33 AM GMT
    When I was young and unsure of myself I crushed on straight guys a lot. It was a big problem for me. However, once I began to understand that propensity as a kind of internalized homophobia and, more to the point, a way to insure I could never be emotionally intimate with another man, it just sort of dissipated. I am 'attracted' to certain men regardless of their orientation but I only 'crush' on the gay ones.
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    Dec 15, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    Not to sound judgmental here, but I've seen and know people who'd fallen in love on-line with someone they hadn't met in person. Some people are either just plain stupid or so starved for affection or attention that they can fall for someone so quickly. I'm "seeing" a great guy right now who gets all kinds of offers from people he hasn't even met in person--even offers of engagement, financial support, committed relationship, marriage, etc.--based mainly on his pictures, one or two cam-cam sessions, limited email exchanges, etc. Some guys have actually fallen in love with him and are ready to be in a relationship with him just because of either his Australian accent or his unusually large appendage. It's mind-boggling.