Would you/Do you go to gay bars ... by yourself???

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2012 8:19 AM GMT
    Roughly two weeks ago, I just turned 21, the golden ticket to getting drunk with my friends. However, I don't really have that many gay friends, so my opportunites to go to a gay bar (with friends) are at a minimum, which is probably the only time I would go.

    But, recently I went to probably one of the more popular gay bars in my city with a friend, had a few drinks. It was really nice. I haven't really been to many bars since my birthday, so I don't really know the "in's and out's". I really want to go to a bar, but my friends are not to my avail, so I was just thinking of going by myself, but at the same time, I feel a little 'scared' I guess, (horrible word choice, cant find a better one).

    I would just think it would feel awkward just sitting by myself, as from when I went out that one night, I saw a lot of guys with their friends.

    Well to my question, do you go to bars by yourself?

    *UPDATE*

    So I did end up hitting up a bar with a friend yesterday night, Sidetrack for you guys in Chicago. And from my experience, I definitely wouldn't mind going by myself now. There were plenty of other guys there by themselves, and from that point on I realized that I was just over-thinking it, haha. I did ended up approaching a guy and getting his number though! He was by himself, and you guys were right, going by yourself is probably the only way to actually meet people. Things went pretty great. I definitely sound like a newbie to this whole bar scene...but damn I had fun!. Thanks guys!

    And I took everyone's advice of getting to know the bartender. His name is Paul. He was pretty sweet guy and I find it cool that they try to remember your name when they're serving tens of other people there. For my second time being at a bar, he gave me a drink on the house, which I found nice. He was really hot too!
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Dec 15, 2012 8:22 AM GMT
    Yes I would.
    safe_sex_play_safe.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2012 8:38 AM GMT
    Going out by yourself is likely the only way you'll get a chance to meet somebody there. If you have the courage to approach them and start a conversation, that is.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 15, 2012 8:41 AM GMT
    Generally ... yes ... but it really depends on the bar.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2012 1:57 PM GMT
    It takes balls to go by yourself. You can do it though, you will meet new peeps.icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2012 1:58 PM GMT
    Going with a friend = cockblocker.

    Going by yourself = laid.

    Your choice... icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2012 2:12 PM GMT
    ..........I have
  • thatirishbast...

    Posts: 3523

    Dec 15, 2012 2:14 PM GMT
    I have. When I moved to Chicago I knew basically no one here. I had to make friends somehow. Again, what everyone said. Pluck up the courage and speak to people. I've meet good people going to gay bars alone.

    I've also met some of the most terrifying individuals imaginable, but it takes a good bit of drink to get me to go into that...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2012 2:15 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidGoing with a friend = cockblocker.

    Going by yourself = laid.

    Your choice... icon_wink.gif

    LOL...but true!
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Dec 15, 2012 2:19 PM GMT
    I get tired of being in the bubble when I'm out with friends, so yes I go out by myself and enjoy it. I do get weird looks when someone asks me if I'm there by myself, but I don't mind it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2012 3:01 PM GMT
    bri_66 said
    paulflexes saidGoing with a friend = cockblocker.

    Going by yourself = laid.

    Your choice... icon_wink.gif

    LOL...but true!


    I have hung out at the door and counted the number of singles that walk into a gay bar. Every time I think I see one, boom , they look across the room and find their friends . The ratio of single to group is around 1:15. Not saying you can't peel one of those fiends away from their friends.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Dec 15, 2012 3:16 PM GMT
    I use to go to this gay bar by my house when I came home from college two nights a week because I thought the bartender was cute. Then there was a night for one reason or another almost half the bar was crying over some dumb quarrel people were having and I decided to never go to a gay bar alone, again.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Dec 15, 2012 3:24 PM GMT
    people who don't know how to make fun on their own and depend on people they know to make things happen bore me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2012 3:56 PM GMT
    calibro saidpeople who don't know how to make fun on their own and depend on people they know to make things happen bore me.


    This +1...

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  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 15, 2012 4:08 PM GMT
    calibro saidpeople who don't know how to make fun on their own and depend on people they know to make things happen bore me.


    That said, I bet if you and I painted the town together, nightlife would never be the same.icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2012 4:12 PM GMT
    yuppers
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2012 4:13 PM GMT
    schwinn147 said...do you go [to] bars by yourself?

    Yes, I've been going to bars by myself since I was 18. Legal in some US States back then, and also in clubs on US military installations when I enlisted at 20.

    But I didn't go to my first gay places until decades later, already retired from the Army. I must admit in the beginning I was a little tense each time, not knowing what to expect and how to act. Or how to dress, which concerned me perhaps most of all - how predictably gay! icon_redface.gif

    But by then I had amassed lots of worldly & adult experiences, and had faced a lot more frightening things than a roomful of fellow gays, so I wasn't really scared in any way, just awkward. A gay bar is like Sunday school compared to some of the leather & biker bars I used to frequent. icon_eek.gif

    47964_961036383253_3204240_51377541_1249

    And so whether it's me or not I dunno, but in the nearly 18 years since I've never been afraid inside a gay bar. On the contrary, I always feel right at home, being among "my own people", better than in a straight bar.

    Some tips: at first you might try going in the late afternoon, before the crowd arrives and the loud music starts. I find it easier to start conversations that way, check the place out better when it's less intimidating.

    And get to know the bartenders. They usually won't have time to hear your life story, but brief little chats work. Then next time you'll greet them by name, and they'll know yours, which helps you to fit in, feel welcome & more comfortable. The other customers will notice that.

    Keep smiling! No matter what you're thinking or how you feel, SMILE! Force yourself, think of it constantly. Guys are attracted to a smile and a laugh, and pass over a frown & sad face. Trade funny remarks with the bartender, so you'll be seen to be a happy guy having a good time. And which coincidentally you'll find yourself actually being.

    Control & pace your drinking, especially if that's new to you. A happy guy quickly becomes a loud obnoxious guy under the influence of alcohol, and nobody likes that (except possibly another drunk). Alternate rum & cokes with plain cokes, or whatever. Hell, just drink cokes, you're there for the atmosphere and company, not really the alcohol alone, and it's cheaper.

    Enjoy yourself. Related to smiling, be there to have a good time. Enjoy the music, enjoy the TV, enjoy the ambience, make just being there a good time, whether you meet anyone today or not. You will next time. Tip the bartender with a big smile and go out happy, never looking disappointed. You had a great time, and show it to everyone there. They'll look forward to your return. icon_biggrin.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 15, 2012 4:14 PM GMT
    I think this has come up from time to time. I personally wouldn't, not because I have anything against it, but bars aren't my scene on a regular basis. If you like going out to the bars, sure, go, just be grounded about what you are doing and aware of whats up around you. Know the things you should and shouldn't do and make sure a friend knows where you are at.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Dec 15, 2012 4:14 PM GMT
    If you have good friends they will go with you to a gay bar.. even if they are straight.

    That being said.. of course I'd go alone.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Dec 15, 2012 4:25 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    calibro saidpeople who don't know how to make fun on their own and depend on people they know to make things happen bore me.


    That said, I bet if you and I painted the town together, nightlife would never be the same.icon_twisted.gif


    well yeah, 'cause i'd cover all the uggs in paint
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2012 5:57 PM GMT
    I think you would be just fine going by yourself...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2012 6:16 PM GMT
    I never did but I will have to now. The only thing that's stopping me, I might run into someone I used to date (big mess), he's regular in Weho and ill be all bah mah self icon_neutral.gif it would be a little uncomfortable.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 15, 2012 6:28 PM GMT
    ohboy saidI never did but I will have to now. The only thing that's stopping me, I might run into someone I used to date (big mess), he's regular in Weho and ill be all bah mah self icon_neutral.gif it would be a little uncomfortable.


    A catch like you won't be by himself for too long.icon_smile.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 15, 2012 6:32 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidGoing with a friend = cockblocker.

    Going by yourself = laid.

    Your choice... icon_wink.gif








    yup!

    If I see 2 guys at one of the local gay bars I assume that they are a couple until otherwise informed.

    Now, a cute guy by himself.......

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2012 6:48 PM GMT
    Depends. I have lots of friends here, so there is usually somewhere I am going with a friend or two.

    When I am traveling though, I go alone out to the bars. However, I am cautious to make sure I am in control. I don't hookup or go to a guy's house unless I know I have control of myself (meaning I'm not drunk).

    Chicago is big enough, you can def. make friends pretty easily. Lots of super nice guys up there too. Go there often and always come away with new friends.