FINALLY came out to my two best friends!

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    Dec 16, 2012 12:03 AM GMT
    This past weekend I had my first mild taste of heart break. It hurt bad enough that I couldn't hide who I am any longer. A guy came along this year that made me feel comfortable in my own skin. It was exhilarating, new, eye opening, and a better experience than I could have imagined. Just as I thought we were getting to the point of dating, I got the, sees us as friends talk. I was so crushed I cracked and came out to one friend Sunday morning and another that night. They were both roommates for years and said they knew and didn't care, waiting for me. I wish the guy felt different, but Oh well, for now I guess. My problem is now this race feeling and nerves I've developed that I have to tell my family before the world does, but I'm not ready to yet!
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    Dec 16, 2012 3:28 AM GMT
    Congrats on ALL your accomplishments. You are ready, just that your heart needs to tell your head. Even your best buds knew.
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    Dec 16, 2012 3:30 AM GMT
    Just told my Mom last night and it went way better than expected. I think alot of expect the worst! She cried a lot which made me feel bad but she said "you're always going to be my son"

    So don't worry about telling them, family is family! It's a shock at first but it gets better. Congrats on telling your friends
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    Dec 16, 2012 5:45 AM GMT
    I told my parents 4 years ago, thinking they'd throw me out on my ass. But they thought it was great. My sister thinks it's the best thing that's ever happened to her.

    You really can't predict peoples reaction to it.
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    Dec 16, 2012 9:26 AM GMT
    I use to believe in "coming out." I've recently changed my mind on the subject. Here's why. Coming out is like admitting you have a dirty little secret you need to share with someone. That it's something shameful that needs to be confessed. What's wrong with just living your life openly and honestly, on your own terms, and by your rules? Let those who can figure it out on their own and chose to reveal to those who ask on a need to know basis? I'm not advocating people stay closeted. I'm advocating gays live their lives as if their sexuality is perfectly normal and natural (which it is for us) and not make it an issue as if it were something that needed announcing. Straight people don't announce their straightness. Why should we?
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    Dec 16, 2012 10:19 AM GMT
    Ready or not the world will know your gender orientation. My question is, are you honest enough to yourself? Don't let your secret bursts you out to tears. If people would accept you or not, let it be because there are great opportunities waiting ahead... think of the idealism of the honest you are, the more honest people you would meet so far.

    So far I have learned that coming out since I was in junior high, I did not change for what I was but rather who I was... in a catholic country, my family has accepted me as time passed by but after all of the acceptance, I am presently working in a more strict middle east country that my mother is too worried for me. Challanges do not stop but the good thing is there is a mutual support from my family. So, good luck.
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    Dec 16, 2012 12:13 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidI use to believe in "coming out." I've recently changed my mind on the subject. Here's why. Coming out is like admitting you have a dirty little secret you need to share with someone. That it's something shameful that needs to be confessed. What's wrong with just living your life openly and honestly, on your own terms, and by your rules? Let those who can figure it out on their own and chose to reveal to those who ask on a need to know basis? I'm not advocating people stay closeted. I'm advocating gays live their lives as if their sexuality is perfectly normal and natural (which it is for us) and not make it an issue as if it were something that needed announcing. Straight people don't announce their straightness. Why should we?


    Those are the words to be followed
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    Dec 16, 2012 1:11 PM GMT
    fitness_md saidMy problem is now this race feeling and nerves I've developed that I have to tell my family before the world does, but I'm not ready to yet!

    I endorse coming out in principle, and at 32 I'm assuming you have a degree of independence from your family in case they disown you. And as you're reading here, that seems to be happening less often these days in the US.

    At the same time, I think a guy should control the timing & circumstances to his best advantage. And it seems like you're reacting emotionally because of the disappointment over this other man.

    That may be influencing your judgment, and also how you'll be handling yourself in presenting this to your family. If they disapprove will you be able to deal with it calmly and maturely? Will you be able to impress them with your happiness at coming out, if you project being upset to them?

    It's a general adage that you should defer important decisions & actions during a time of emotional turmoil. Wait until you're back to normal, even though I know this is also the cause for your anxiety in wanting to tell them now. But that's the wrong reason, nor do I think they're going to find out any sooner, assuming they don't already suspect. (Are you unmarried at 32?)

    Yes, do ultimately tell them, but you might wait a couple of months until your inner calm & composure return, don't stampede yourself. When you've rehearsed what you're going to say, and have thought about the best time & place. Having a plan may also give you courage & confidence. Right now it sounds like you're going to blurt it out as a guilty secret, like you robbed a bank or something, and that's the worst way to do it.