Is my friend gay? I'm in love with him..

  • kenfujitsu

    Posts: 8

    Dec 16, 2012 2:05 AM GMT
    Hey everyone! I'm Ken and I'm 18. I'm gay but my friends all think I'm straight and I don't want to change it.. But that's not the point.

    This is a long story..

    Well this guy, he's my classmate, we're in a boys' school so everyone knows everyone. I've known him since I was a freshman. Before he was big, fat, and really annoying so I didn't bother to talk to him at all. But when we became seniors, I got to sit next to him in class so we got to know each other a lot.

    This year he changed so much that I didn't even realized it, he lost a lot of weight, he dress much better than before and he's so ripped! We started talking then we went out with other friends. After some time we started going out together without anyone else. We went shopping, walking, drinking and watching movies together. We meet like 4 times a week and we'll be calling and texting each other everyday. 

    Many times when we're in class, we'll be fooling around, punching each other then suddenly we'd be holding hands for hours without even noticing it then someone would tease us and we'd stop. But after 10 minutes we'll be holding hands again. I don't know why but it feels so good, I don't know if he feels the same way as I do. Sometimes we have moments when our faces are so close to each other that it feels like we're going to kiss but then he'll be smiling and pulling his tongue out at me. He likes to bite my fingers and my neck too, weird..

    Last week we had a small argument and we stopped talking. We had like a touchy moment. I always had a feeling he was gay and in a relationship with another guy in my class. Maybe that guy was jealous and told him to stop talking to me. Maybe I'm just thinking to much about it... 

    I like him so much and want him to like me too. I don't know if he's gay or bi or straight. Or maybe he realized that I was gay and he was straight so he just wanted to go away from me.. I'm going to go to Korea with him this Christmas and I really don't know how to act around him.. I always feel shy when I'm with him and always want to look my best when I'm with him. Even if he's gay, I don't think he'd like me caus I just too weak not athletic like him so he's just playing around or testing me..

    Guys, I need your opinions...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2012 2:37 AM GMT
    Hi Ken, you post was too long for me to read, but to answer you question, yes, your friend is gay, go for it.
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    Dec 16, 2012 3:11 AM GMT
    smartmoney saidHi Ken, you post was too long for me to read, but to answer you question, yes, your friend is gay, go for it.

    @OP: Nevertheless, learn to be discerning and skeptical, when needed, for yourself. Good luck to you.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Dec 16, 2012 3:26 AM GMT
    unless your friend is on rj, why don't you ask him?
  • Road89

    Posts: 104

    Dec 16, 2012 3:40 AM GMT
    Stay young for as long as you can - keep what you have. Often times a gift is more rewarding when it is still wrapped. Don't be so eager, Beaver! icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2012 3:51 AM GMT
    He's gay and most likely into you. . . GET SUM!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2012 3:55 AM GMT
    smartmoney saidHi Ken, you post was too long for me to read, but to answer you question, yes, your friend is gay, go for it.


    omg that made my night
  • onefortified

    Posts: 1630

    Dec 16, 2012 4:03 AM GMT
    He's gay and it sounds like he likes you. I don't know any straight guys that like to hold hands with other guys, bite each others fingers and neck, or act like they are about to kiss.
  • Havenjock80

    Posts: 428

    Dec 16, 2012 4:04 AM GMT
    young love is cutee.. you are right at that age.. Enjoy every minute.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    onefortified saidHe's gay and it sounds like he likes you. I don't know any straight guys that like to hold hands with other guys, bite each others fingers and neck, or act like they are about to kiss.


    Me neither. Either this guy is gay or he's a very non traditional male.

    Either way....*in my Tiny impression* GO EEN!
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Dec 16, 2012 4:13 AM GMT
    One, there's no way to know until you ask hIm. Everything you've seen as a sign, I've seen in very straight, but comfortable guys.

    Is it just me, or did anyone else read this like 'he was fat and ugly, then he got hot so I started talking to him'.
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    Dec 16, 2012 4:15 AM GMT
    Medjai saidOne, there's no way to know until you ask hIm. Everything you've seen as a sign, I've seen in very straight, but comfortable guys.

    Is it just me, or did anyone else read this like 'he was fat and ugly, then he got hot so I started talking to him'.


    No I caught that too.

    The superficial gays are getting younger and younger.
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    Dec 16, 2012 4:38 AM GMT
    Medjai saidIs it just me, or did anyone else read this like 'he was fat and ugly, then he got hot so I started talking to him'.

    What could possibly give you that idea??? You mean just because he said "Before he was big, fat, and really annoying so I didn't bother to talk to him at all. But when we became seniors... he lost a lot of weight, he dress much better than before and he's so ripped! We started talking..."

    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    If the OP is not a troll, I hope his "friend" finds a guy who'll talk to him even if he gets "big and fat" again.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Dec 16, 2012 4:45 AM GMT
    19c79 said
    Medjai saidIs it just me, or did anyone else read this like 'he was fat and ugly, then he got hot so I started talking to him'.

    What could possibly give you that idea??? You mean just because he said "Before he was big, fat, and really annoying so I didn't bother to talk to him at all. But when we became seniors... he lost a lot of weight, he dress much better than before and he's so ripped! We started talking..."

    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    If the OP is not a troll, I hope his "friend" finds a guy who'll talk to him even if he gets "big and fat" again.


    I'm glad I'm not alone. It's just that no one else mentioned it.

    If that's the case, I hope this guy is, and recognizes how shallow the OP is, and moves on or friendzones. Maybe then the OP will learn his lesson early, and still have time to build something of depth and value before time passes him by.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2012 4:45 AM GMT
    Take life by the horns and go for it. What are you waiting for? Life is short. Just ask him and lay it all out on the table. No regrets. Report back.
  • Kipstrdl

    Posts: 162

    Dec 16, 2012 4:49 AM GMT
    ...he lives in Thailand..and goes to an all boys school. I'm sure the handholding is not as big of a deal as it would be in a western, coe-ed public school. Any way, some degree of playful adolescent homoeroticism is common around the world, I assume and state as fact. It's human nature

    OP, sounds like you've got a great connection with this guy. But what might be an exciting bromance could be spoiled by getting too emotionally involved and changing the dynamic of the relationship. You obviously care about this guy and it seems he also cares about you, but but you do not know on what level and if/how he articulates these feelings to himself. I agree that you might find out alot by simply seeing how he reacts to you saying you are gay. It's bound to be an awkward confrontation and you must be prepared to steer it into a good place if he is completely caught off guard and does not have much to say. Rather than just planning on saying "I'm GAY" and seeing what he does, be prepared to ask questions about how he feels about your sexuality and if he feels it will affect your friendship. no need to reveal your romantic crush on him at this point...UNLESS...he asks you if you have feelings for him. Anyway, wear those great characteristics about yourself that probably attracted him to you in the first place and at the same time be true to yourself. Whether or not this relationship blossoms the way you want it too, do not be afraid to evolve and mature as a whole person in yourself. Best o luck to y
  • kenfujitsu

    Posts: 8

    Dec 16, 2012 6:00 AM GMT
    Medjai said
    19c79 said
    Medjai saidIs it just me, or did anyone else read this like 'he was fat and ugly, then he got hot so I started talking to him'.

    What could possibly give you that idea??? You mean just because he said "Before he was big, fat, and really annoying so I didn't bother to talk to him at all. But when we became seniors... he lost a lot of weight, he dress much better than before and he's so ripped! We started talking..."

    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    If the OP is not a troll, I hope his "friend" finds a guy who'll talk to him even if he gets "big and fat" again.


    I'm glad I'm not alone. It's just that no one else mentioned it.

    If that's the case, I hope this guy is, and recognizes how shallow the OP is, and moves on or friendzones. Maybe then the OP will learn his lesson early, and still have time to build something of depth and value before time passes him by.


    Hey you two? I didn't wrote that I started talking to him because he wasn't big and fat like before. I wrote clearly that I began to talk to him caus we sat next together in class and even if he was all that ripped and didn't sat next to me in class, I wouldn't be talking to him this much either.
    Anyway thanks
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2012 6:11 AM GMT
    I've never been to an all-male school, nor do I know how expression of friendship can vary in all cultures... but based on my experience, guys who hold hands are typically into each other, past the friendship level.

    But then again, there are cultures where it's not considered at all homosexual to give your friend a hand while masturbating together. So before you ask the question to most of us who are absolutely clueless as to how friendship works wherever you are from, you should consider the very context that you live in and judge based on that.

  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Dec 16, 2012 6:27 AM GMT
    kenfujitsu said
    Medjai said
    19c79 said
    Medjai saidIs it just me, or did anyone else read this like 'he was fat and ugly, then he got hot so I started talking to him'.

    What could possibly give you that idea??? You mean just because he said "Before he was big, fat, and really annoying so I didn't bother to talk to him at all. But when we became seniors... he lost a lot of weight, he dress much better than before and he's so ripped! We started talking..."

    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    If the OP is not a troll, I hope his "friend" finds a guy who'll talk to him even if he gets "big and fat" again.


    I'm glad I'm not alone. It's just that no one else mentioned it.

    If that's the case, I hope this guy is, and recognizes how shallow the OP is, and moves on or friendzones. Maybe then the OP will learn his lesson early, and still have time to build something of depth and value before time passes him by.


    Hey you two? I didn't wrote that I started talking to him because he wasn't big and fat like before. I wrote clearly that I began to talk to him caus we sat next together in class and even if he was all that ripped and didn't sat next to me in class, I wouldn't be talking to him this much either.
    Anyway thanks


    In that case, I retract everything I said on the matter. That was my interpretation of what I read, and I apologize for the confusion.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2012 6:35 AM GMT
    With so much evidence he is gay, interested and I say just do it before you second guess yourself too much!icon_wink.gif
  • kenfujitsu

    Posts: 8

    Dec 16, 2012 8:58 AM GMT
    Thanks everyone, but I don't think that my culture's that different from yours, I think we are even more serious about touching than western people do. But I'm not sure about anything...

    Today he called me and invited me out but I didn''t know how to act if I go with him. Just to hear his voice again makes me even want him more. I want him but I think even if he's gay or bi, he'd only want me for the sex and all caus he seems like that kind of person. I like sex too but with him I just want more than that. Anyways thanks everyone.
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    Dec 16, 2012 9:10 AM GMT
    onefortified saidHe's gay and it sounds like he likes you. I don't know any straight guys that like to hold hands with other guys, bite each others fingers and neck, or act like they are about to kiss.


    Exactly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2012 9:15 AM GMT
    my condition is so so similar to you...
    i also dont know if my classmate is gay or not, although he's pretty much into hugging fondling etc..i love him so much...
    well, in your case most likely he's gay...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2012 9:37 AM GMT
    I went through the same situation at about your age. Here are some tips
    1. Think things clearly, even if he is gay he might not have accepted himself.
    2. Don't read into everything, because you will.
    3. Don't get too attached.
    4. Give him and yourself time.


    I'm not going to give away the ending, good luck.
  • Kel_

    Posts: 1360

    Dec 16, 2012 9:38 AM GMT
    Ckfeezy saidI went through the same situation at about your age. Here are some tips
    1. Think things clearly, even if he is gay he might not have accepted himself.
    2. Don't read into everything, because you will.
    3. Don't get too attached.
    4. Give him and yourself time.


    I'm not going to give away the ending, good luck.


    Why not? icon_sad.gif

    I agree, and went through the same phase during high school, thankfully, I had more self-control back then than I am now icon_redface.gif