WTF is up with the gay community?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 7:56 PM GMT
    I am getting pissed off. On any dating site, social networking site I specifically mention I am only looking for dating/relationships. I don't judge those who casually hook up but it's not my thing.

    People still message me saying "looking?" or "top or bottom?" and I am just like no thanks, im looking for dating/relationships, and I say but best of luck to you.

    So many respond, "no, good luck to you" implying that no gay man wants a relationship and that I am on a hopeless search.

    People even sometimes message me to inquire why I would want a relationship as if I am some sort of deviant for even considering romance and intimacy.

    I know it isn't true, I know many gay men who value relationships and stability. WTF mate? What gives?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 8:02 PM GMT
    I got!
    Wanna hear? *giggle*

    They all suck!
    bwahahah. Get it? Get it?! Hehe
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 8:02 PM GMT
    I know how you feel....I hate the hookups and one night stands. We are giving ourselves a bad rep....And we wonder why marige isnt leagal for us? No one will want to get to know you if you hookup with them on the first date. Me, I am in it for the long run.

    Just my .02
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 8:22 PM GMT
    Some people have trouble facing the reality that not everyone in this world shares the same interests, goals, morals, views etc. as them. There's more than 300 million people in the U.S.; you're bound to run across someone who is different than you.

    It isn't your problem that those people's view of the world is so narrow that they can't imagine a gay guy wanting a long term relationship. Just ignore them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 8:26 PM GMT
    Back to the 1970's I say. Seriously with AIDS/HIV complacency setting in I swear most gay guys just want to get their rocks off. When I was single I usually came across relationship minded men. Mind you I never used social network sites or "Manhunt" to find a guy. I still think the best way to meet guys is in a non-sexual environment like sports or other social activities.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 8:26 PM GMT
    I don't think the internet is the place to go looking for a relationship. The problem with the web is that it doesn't involve any investment on either party's side so u just get guys looking for quick and easy sex.

    Try other things beside the internet and you will have more success.
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    Sep 15, 2008 9:31 PM GMT
    I sometimes think that we come well equipped with lust in order to motivate us to get to the higher forms of love. So with that viewpoint you may seem to some like a freudian personality who has intimacy problems linked to sex.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 15, 2008 9:39 PM GMT
    I get the samething ...
    and get this..... the same guys come back every few days and email the same very thing
    Wanna hook up?
    What you lookin' for?
    You horny?

    Um, like dude
    You emailed like 3 days ago and I told you I wasn't interested
    Did you like grow a personality since then?

    The thing is nobody looks at what you write on those sites
    It's like dial-a fuck









  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 9:48 PM GMT
    hippie4lyfe saidI am getting pissed off. On any dating site, social networking site I specifically mention I am only looking for dating/relationships. I don't judge those who casually hook up but it's not my thing.

    Good, you're a good girl.

    People still message me saying "looking?" or "top or bottom?" and I am just like no thanks, im looking for dating/relationships, and I say but best of luck to you.

    Dear, just because you are looking for Dating/Relationships does not mean you don't sometimes hook up. I have the sneaking suspicion that you do, but you seem pretty comfy up there on that SOAP box so I'll leave you be.
    However, do not judge people harshly because they think you are multi faceted. It's not unusual.


    So many respond, "no, good luck to you" implying that no gay man wants a relationship and that I am on a hopeless search.

    How do you read all of that negativity from "no, good luck to you."? What were you implying when you first said, "no thanks, im looking for dating/relationships, best of luck to you."icon_question.gif Were you implying that the sluts, how dare they think you low enough to hook up (like you never have) with the likes of themicon_exclaim.gificon_question.gif Obviously, you were implying something by your original question because it is NO DIFFERENT than theirs and yet you suspect an implication.

    People even sometimes message me to inquire why I would want a relationship as if I am some sort of deviant for even considering romance and intimacy.

    Maybe they genuinely want to know. How can you assume a very detailed implication like that! They are asking you because they think you are a deviant!icon_question.gif Has anyone ever told you that in those words, even close to those words?

    I know it isn't true, I know many gay men who value relationships and stability. WTF mate? What gives?

    If you know so many gay men who value relationships, why aren't you with one of them?


    Girl, stop your fucking whining! And, what's more, stop making broad statements about the gay community. Social networking sites do not hardly represent the whole gay community, even if it did, no one has really done or said anything awful to you there. You really are reading things into inquiry and maybe a little fascination that are not there! Get your meds steadied, Mary. Oh, and watch what you say about my community, (edited).icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 9:50 PM GMT
    Ooooooh, that guiltygear (aka Jimbo) is a one.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 10:40 PM GMT
    get off his case guiltygear, what he said was right on. I completely agree. Most gay men are whores looking for a cheap fuck. It's disgusting.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Sep 15, 2008 10:58 PM GMT
    Oh I know what you mean!!! Fucking gay community, all sluts and whores!!!

    I wish I were straight because all those unwed teen mothers and guys with 5 babies from 5 different women aren't real, just media propaganda.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 11:09 PM GMT
    It happens with me a lot in other gay dating site ..

    I don't have pictures there and I mentioned that I'm not looking for anyting at all ..

    but they keep sending me .. it's like they send it randomly to everyone..
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Sep 15, 2008 11:12 PM GMT
    collegeswimmr saidget off his case guiltygear, what he said was right on. I completely agree. Most gay men are whores looking for a cheap fuck. It's disgusting.



    Grrrrrr



    You know what else is disgusting?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 11:12 PM GMT
    WHAT gay dating sites?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 11:17 PM GMT
    Sad but true..most gay men on "dating" sites are not interested in real relationships, regardless of what they say on their profiles. A lot of them (in my experience about 98%) won't even read your profile and send you msgs. asking questions that are already answered on your profile..and then there are those who don't even have a face pic posted.

    The internet in general, is not a place so start relationships. Even on "legit" websites like chemistry or match.com, you connect with someone and the first thing they ask (in my experience) is for nude pics and if you're top/btm.

    I do understand why a lot of men try to find relationships online, it's easier and relatively anonymous. If you are rejected, it hurts less because it is not done in public and with a lot of guys being as bitchy and mean as they are...well..

    I hope you find what you're looking for!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 11:19 PM GMT
    The gay community is a bit sad in that respect. Just compare the "Men seeking men" with the "men seeking women" and "women seeking men" portions of craigslist to get an idea. I find it funny that on craigslist men seeking men for purposes other than just fucking usually post under "misc romance" instead of the general section like the heteros do.
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Sep 15, 2008 11:19 PM GMT
    hippie4lyfe said

    I know it isn't true, I know many gay men who value relationships and stability. WTF mate? What gives?




    Therefore, you should probably amend your question to "WTF is up with gay dating sites?" as opposed to "WTF is up with the gay community?"




    Before there's tension...
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Sep 15, 2008 11:21 PM GMT
    Rune saidThe gay community is a bit sad in that respect.




    BEFORE THERE'S TENSION!!!!!!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 11:31 PM GMT
    I'm not sure that it's limited to websites though, it's true that many of my gay friends are relationship oriented but many more real life gays I know are not as compared to my hetero friends. And straight bars seem to be a LOT more toned down as far as sex related crap goes than gay bars. Every time I meet a guy at a gay bar it's not more than 5 seconds before he tries to make out with me, but I don't often see this behavior in straight bars.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 11:34 PM GMT
    hippie4lyfe saidI am getting pissed off. On any dating site, social networking site I specifically mention I am only looking for dating/relationships. I don't judge those who casually hook up but it's not my thing.

    People still message me saying "looking?" or "top or bottom?" and I am just like no thanks, im looking for dating/relationships, and I say but best of luck to you.

    So many respond, "no, good luck to you" implying that no gay man wants a relationship and that I am on a hopeless search.

    People even sometimes message me to inquire why I would want a relationship as if I am some sort of deviant for even considering romance and intimacy.

    I know it isn't true, I know many gay men who value relationships and stability. WTF mate? What gives?


    My take?

    Most men are whores--even if they claim to value relationships.That's just the way it is. You'll be much happier as soon as you accept this truth. I'm happier. And as far as I'm concerned, BEING SINGLE IS THE NEW BLACK.
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Sep 15, 2008 11:46 PM GMT
    Rune saidI'm not sure that it's limited to websites though, it's true that many of my gay friends are relationship oriented but many more real life gays I know are not as compared to my hetero friends. And straight bars seem to be a LOT more toned down as far as sex related crap goes than gay bars. Every time I meet a guy at a gay bar it's not more than 5 seconds before he tries to make out with me, but I don't often see this behavior in straight bars.



    This is what bothers me about this.

    You guys are making these broad, sweeping statements about the gay community - when in reality, it's the sites and the clubs YOU choose to go to.

    Why go on Manhunt and expect to find a relationship there (and then be arrogant enough to complain that everyone just wants sex)? I wouldn't go on e-Harmony if I just wanted a hot lay. And I certainly wouldnt complain about it. Take some responsibility and stop blaming the "gay community."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 15, 2008 11:48 PM GMT

    Lemme guess, ManHunt and Adam 4 Adam.

    Stop buying into the stigma.
    Yeah, people screw, but these sites exist for that. The side of them you see there is not the big picture.
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Sep 15, 2008 11:51 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear said
    Lemme guess, ManHunt and Adam 4 Adam.

    Stop buying into the stigma.
    Yeah, people screw, but these sites exist for that. The side of them you see there is not the big picture.


    As always... great minds think alike.

    And apparently within two minutes of each other.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 16, 2008 12:05 AM GMT
    boo fucking hoo

    getting asked for a fuck must be a terrible burden to carry.