The Thing with Labels

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2012 10:08 PM GMT
    I've noticed there's a lot of talk about labels and the reaction is usually the same. Usually A) Ask, explain how confusing it is, or usually B) who needs labels? Just enjoy it.

    I went through the same situation as others have. Met a guy, liked him, asked him out, hung out all the time, grew to really like him, and pushed for the next step. They were hesitant, but agreed, and later I pushed too hard, became "too couple-y" and they fled.

    I don't care what reason they had for not being okay with labels, not wanting to be someone's boyfriend, or feel tied down to someone. I was extremely saddened by this because I felt such a connection, and wanted it official.

    Being the consummate philosopher, I go over every facet of this.

    What is it about labels?

    Many gays don't like to say they're gay.... This could be the "bisexual" label or "oh, I don't want to relegate myself to someone else's conception of the label. I'm an individual". I get that. I've been both. I agree in principle.

    What I think we are sadly miseducated on is how labels, in addition to being terrible, in demeaning and degrading human beings, to make them fags, or niggers, or kykes, essentially not human, they can also provide security.

    Labels simplify. And this is not necessarily a bad thing.

    The unhealthy aspect of yearning for simplicity, especially when finding a mate, seems to come in the differing conceptions of a relationship.

    There's a great Oscar Wilde (I think it's Wilde anyway) quote about how there's two kinds of people in this world, those who categorize everything and those who don't.

    Some people don't need or like or particularly have use for labels. Others do. Is this a matter of taste? Are those who crave officialdom and labels needy or clingy? Do those who have no need for labels, for structure, without responsibility?

    And lastly, are these two types of people essentially incompatible?
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Dec 17, 2012 1:22 AM GMT
    Labels are for soup tins, the lead singer of REM once said when he was asked about his sexuality, before he came out.

    Women are really bad at labelling people. They are uncomfortable until they have one for you, and then even acid can't dissolve it to get it off.

    Men, gay or straight, are generally more flexible and willing to reconsider when you show them evidence that the label was applied in error, I've found.
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    Dec 17, 2012 1:43 AM GMT
    The Thing, with labels.

  • barriehomeboy

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    Dec 17, 2012 1:59 AM GMT
    What the fuck was that? How is that going to help him?
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    Dec 17, 2012 4:17 AM GMT
    This wasn't necessarily to help me, really. It's an interesting concept that people should explore and ask themselves, as there does seem to be this conflict in relationships.
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    Dec 17, 2012 4:19 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidWhat the fuck was that? How is that going to help him?


    It's The Thing, with Labels. You know, his thread title. Pay attention!
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    Dec 17, 2012 4:29 AM GMT
    The thing with labels is that you can put them anywhere... make fact in fiction, hate into love, and trust into social currency.
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    Dec 17, 2012 10:29 PM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidLabels are for soup tins, the lead singer of REM once said when he was asked about his sexuality, before he came out.

    Women are really bad at labelling people. They are uncomfortable until they have one for you, and then even acid can't dissolve it to get it off.

    Men, gay or straight, are generally more flexible and willing to reconsider when you show them evidence that the label was applied in error, I've found.


    Lead singer is a label - I wonder if the entity (damn another label) that sings for REM (damn another label) knows that? icon_wink.gif

    Men are flexible and considerate you say? Damn, two more labels! icon_wink.gif

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    Dec 17, 2012 10:48 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidThe Thing, with labels.



    ^First off I love that movie more than any other horror movie and bravo for the pun:lol!: Secondly I personally think that labels can be a bit too constricting. It seems many times if someone is hit with a label and it defines their entire person to one word.
  • reges198

    Posts: 94

    Dec 17, 2012 11:40 PM GMT
    I've been going out with a guy for about two months and it looks like we are going to break it off because of this. Personally, once I start sharing bodily fluids with a guy I don't want to do so with any other (*unless* this is billed as a hook-up, which I'm cool with). And I tend to wait a fair time before having sex. He thinks the absence of sex with others is a "serious relationship." I think that's bullshit. I simply want to simply get to know him more without having to compete with others who are also having sex with him.
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    Dec 17, 2012 11:51 PM GMT
    OP, your thoughts on labels are excellently written and very understandable.
    I think labels are a good thing, can facilitate all types of relationships, and make life easier.

    But that's just me, to each his own.