Dec 18, 2012 2:39 AM GMT
By abusive I don't mean this person is hitting on me or anything...But in more of an mind-fuck abusive way.
So here's the scenario recap. I have been "friends" (meaning we don't have sex) with a dude for like 8 months now. He's given every reason under the sun why he's not ready for a boyfriend or won't have sex with ME. But yet he wants to see me every weekend, just wants it to be us hanging out, acts all crazy when I get hit on or hit on other guys, etc. He also wants to go home together and sleep in the same bed but won't do any kind of sex.
Other the course of the relationship, he's done things that are totally contrary to what friends would do. He's made out with me and given me head twice for like 2 seconds, and then will stop saying he's joking around.
The abusive part of this, is he talks about other dudes he's hooked up with and how big their dicks are when he's around me. Or he'll flirt with guys but I can't. Some who are less attractive and he even TELLS ME they aren't attractive the next time he sees them at the bar. Yet, me he's known for 8 months always denys or pushes me away when I 'used to' make advances to him. On many times, he'd be the one to initiate and then stop saying he's just joking or that it'll hurt the friendship or not into me like that (bullcrap). Most times he just comes to my place and falls asleep or plays on the computer all night.
The kicker came last weekend when he said, "if we would have had sex the night we met, we wouldn't be hanging out right now". That statement had every implication that he's withholding sex to control the relationship cause he's afraid our relationship will change if we do. I finally realized I don't want to be even friends with him anymore because of this. What's got me really wound up is people start thinking we're dating because we're always together, yet the truth is we go home and don't even do shit...when I could be meeting someone else.
I want to tell him all this but it's pointless. I've discussed it with him over and over and over. He'll either not respond or if it's in person he'll make up excuses or leave the house. I plan to drop him without bringing it up again and just avoid all the drama because I know he'll just make it out that we're just friends, I'm too sensitive, overly sexual etc. like he's already done.
I know I've been the enabler to this mess and I have to take responsibility for it too. I've been 'done' with him like 10 times already this year and keep forgiving and forgetting only to have it resurface later. It's just nice to have a best friend to go out with, but damn who needs all that aggravation?
So here's the scenario recap. I have been "friends" (meaning we don't have sex) with a dude for like 8 months now. He's given every reason under the sun why he's not ready for a boyfriend or won't have sex with ME. But yet he wants to see me every weekend, just wants it to be us hanging out, acts all crazy when I get hit on or hit on other guys, etc. He also wants to go home together and sleep in the same bed but won't do any kind of sex.
Other the course of the relationship, he's done things that are totally contrary to what friends would do. He's made out with me and given me head twice for like 2 seconds, and then will stop saying he's joking around.
The abusive part of this, is he talks about other dudes he's hooked up with and how big their dicks are when he's around me. Or he'll flirt with guys but I can't. Some who are less attractive and he even TELLS ME they aren't attractive the next time he sees them at the bar. Yet, me he's known for 8 months always denys or pushes me away when I 'used to' make advances to him. On many times, he'd be the one to initiate and then stop saying he's just joking or that it'll hurt the friendship or not into me like that (bullcrap). Most times he just comes to my place and falls asleep or plays on the computer all night.
The kicker came last weekend when he said, "if we would have had sex the night we met, we wouldn't be hanging out right now". That statement had every implication that he's withholding sex to control the relationship cause he's afraid our relationship will change if we do. I finally realized I don't want to be even friends with him anymore because of this. What's got me really wound up is people start thinking we're dating because we're always together, yet the truth is we go home and don't even do shit...when I could be meeting someone else.
I want to tell him all this but it's pointless. I've discussed it with him over and over and over. He'll either not respond or if it's in person he'll make up excuses or leave the house. I plan to drop him without bringing it up again and just avoid all the drama because I know he'll just make it out that we're just friends, I'm too sensitive, overly sexual etc. like he's already done.
I know I've been the enabler to this mess and I have to take responsibility for it too. I've been 'done' with him like 10 times already this year and keep forgiving and forgetting only to have it resurface later. It's just nice to have a best friend to go out with, but damn who needs all that aggravation?