Interested.....too "full on" keeping it cool...."too cold and disinterested.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 24, 2007 10:32 PM GMT
    Hey guys, I am really finding dating a real pain in the ass.....and not the good type of pain in the ass LOL!.

    When a guy is interested in me i usually do 1 of 2 things...

    1. Get excited (in a masculine way LOL) and message, call, chat till they run out of fear that I am a stalker.

    OR

    2. Fear they are going to get sick of me so play it cool, not disinterested but leave them alone for days.......this usually earns me the label of being cold or disinterested, non communicative......

    what on earth is a happy medium!

    Love to hear your advice.

    Craig
    Perth WA
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Aug 25, 2007 12:56 PM GMT
    Jump up and down but don't answer the phone :)
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    Aug 25, 2007 1:10 PM GMT
    You seem to be a guy that has problems with the "medium" concept of things. Try to stay calm and act natural. Stay cool. You seem to let your emotions take control of you. Not always good. Keep your head cold and just be yourself. Don't try to impressed at all costs.

    Show the guy that you find him interesting but don't drown him.

    You'll have to work on yourself to find the state of balance.

    Maybe if you put yourself in his place...how would you react ?
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    Aug 25, 2007 1:56 PM GMT
    I'll throw my nickel and dime philosophy in the ring by saying just be yourself! You deserve someone that respects you for your true, natural & unique personality.

    Probably just my opinion but I say decide on reaching out from three perspectives depending on your best choice at the time: impulsive when appropriate, prudent when called for and utilizing discretion to balance. Sounds like you are already on the right track per your "get excited", "play it cool" or "happy medium" take on situations ;)
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    Aug 25, 2007 2:46 PM GMT
    Thanks for the advice guys I appreciate it. I live in Perth western australia and the men are fickle. Or ARE gay men fickle everywhere?......

    Anyhow I will try and take a road down the middle somewhere.

    Craig
  • atomohawk

    Posts: 10

    Aug 25, 2007 5:20 PM GMT
    the one thing that comes to mind is what i call 'tag-team', and im not talking about involving a third person...lol...

    when i say tag-team, i think of it like this.

    one person must initiate the first call-back/ message back.
    establish it with the other guy, that now that you have rocontacted him, that it is now his turn to do so to you.
    monitor how long it takes for the other guy to contact you again.
    and also monitor what he responds with. what your conversations are about.

    use this info to judge your next move.

    if it takes him 7 days to contact you, respond to him in 6.
    try to narrow the gap if it if far apart. but not drastically.
    if its a closer gap, like 1-2 days, maintain such.
    then if the guy feels that this currnet gap is unsatisfactory, then let him know that its up to him if he wants to contact you.
    its not giving up cotrol. or seeming uninterested, its waiting for the other guy to build up courage.
    it seems that you would have the dominant role.
    so give the guy some encouragement to take some matters into his own hands.

    its so true that trying to meet or just talk to people online is too convenient, so no one takes it seriously.
    if after a week and no response, cantact him again. if nothing after another week, sorry to say, but its a lost cause.
    but if hes eager, be eager with him.

    i hope this helps....

    and sorry for any typos.

    Jason