Masculine vs straight acting.....

  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Aug 24, 2007 11:20 PM GMT
    A buddy of mine and I were talking about this and wondered what were some other opinions. I think there is a big difference between the two. If you are masculine there is no need to act! I have no problems with feminine types or twinks, just when I was single it bothered me when a guy tried to act masculine.(remember opinions are like assholes and eveyone has one).
    Just wanted to here some other thoughts. Thanks in advance.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Aug 25, 2007 3:12 AM GMT
    I think masculinity is subjective, just as straight acting (whatever that is) is. I know straight men who aren't that masculine. Just as there are different levels of masculinity within races, I think there are different levels for each individual man.
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    Aug 25, 2007 3:33 AM GMT
    I agree with cityguy39. I have always enjoyed meeting guys who state they are "straight acting" in an attempt to define what that means. As of yet, I remain ignorant.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Aug 25, 2007 10:40 AM GMT
    This masculine vs feminine thing is a constant question that pops its head up here in the forum and in gaylife
    It's sad to say but it's a form of prejudice
    the amount of masculinity or femininity in a man should be something that's taken just like the color of someone's hair
    you don't have to keep stating that you're only attracted to masculine men...

    because the reaction should then be - Okay? So what?
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    Aug 25, 2007 2:00 PM GMT
    This makes me think of a verse from the Bible I was arguing about with someone recently. Its one of the two main passages used against homosexuality, gay people, gay rights, etc.

    It's in I Corinthians 6:9. The passage lists these things that will keep you out of the kingdom of heaven. One part that is not translated much anymore (go figure) is right before the mention of sleeping with men as you would with a woman. It says that being effeminate will also keep you out of the kingdom of heaven.

    I thought this was fascinating as what is the standard? None is mentioned, is it Stallone, Caesar? If you want to meet effeminate guys go to church, there are more there than a gay club.

    Macho in some cultures is considered femme in others. I always hear the American question, "Is he gay or European?

    The one thing I do like about the gay label is that I can just be me; sometimes I'm more deep voiced and masculine, not intentionally, it just comes out, and other times, like during this horror movie, I scream like a 12 year old girl at a Backstreet boys concert and leap into the lap of the large black woman sitting next to me. I feel comfortable in leather or a boa.

    Now that I think about it. I'm not really addressing the main question. Since I already typed all this, I'm going to post it. But I have heard straight acting used not to mention a conscious effort but just that a guy is gay but seems in his cultural context to be straight. I have never heard this in Europe though, only the US. I guess it is more of a concern in the US (maybe not).
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    Aug 25, 2007 2:42 PM GMT
    Straight acting means he's going to bore you to death. Masculine means he's deluded and has a perception of himself that does not coincide with reality.
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    Aug 25, 2007 5:17 PM GMT
    Some days I'm straight acting. Some days I'm masculine.
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    Aug 25, 2007 5:33 PM GMT
    I told my doctor sometimes I feel like a teepee sometimes I feel like a wigwam. He said I'm two tents.
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    Aug 25, 2007 9:10 PM GMT
    I don't think masculinity is subjective. The value judgment society adds to its concept of masculinity isn't subjective either. It boils down to being strong, honorable, and responsible, desirable traits that help society survive and prosper. The superficial traits may vary from culture to culture and are somewhat subjective, but the core values are the same in most cultures. Some cultures (examples are certain strains of Islamic and Anglo-Germanic cultures) are a bit too caught up on the sexual aspects of this, i.e. sexual domination of one gender by another. However in my opinion the healthier view of the value of masculinity is upholding behavioral maturity in contrast to immature behavior such as selfishness, flakiness, wishy-washiness, short-term thinking, cowardice, over-dependence, irresponsibility...

    Now "straight-acting", that's not even worth discussing.
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    Aug 25, 2007 11:40 PM GMT
    Who cares? You're either hot or you're not.
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    Aug 26, 2007 1:20 AM GMT
    I prefer the word "masculine" over "straight-acting", but both are problematic terms. "Non-effeminate" might be a better option.

  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Aug 26, 2007 3:40 AM GMT
    OK alot are missing the point, maybe I should have stated it your way Syfer. Good point. GQ it is not prejudice!! I have many male friends. All different types all shapes and sizes and all different personalities and cultures. To me it is like "so what?" I just don't want to date the effeminate ones. In your terms I prefer a guy who is a natural blond as opposed to a guy with dyed brown bleach blond hair. My point is, I wish guys would be more genuine and not put on an act just to get laid. Thank god 4 years and going strong- I'm not single. I was hoping for some more real respones, thanks Mtn/City/Mad.
    McGay your response should come with a side of Mc fries to serve any purpose. You're single right! Enough said now BS all you want!
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    Aug 26, 2007 10:37 AM GMT
    No, I'm not single.

    I think guys who feel the need to use either of those terms to describe themselves have some maturing to do, as do guys who dwell on the issue.
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    Aug 27, 2007 7:05 AM GMT
    In my country, straight and gay people expects you to be effeminate if you are gay, I always was like "what's the point of loving men if the men are going to behave like women".

    I think diversity is one of gayness blessings, tolerance in the other hand, is up to the individuals, labels just try to turn us into objects to put our own group at a superior level and the others down, I'd hear friends of mine calling names to lesbians, mocking transvestites, it seems to be a part of the stereotype, if you are gay, you must be feminine, you must be a real bitch and you must try to broke your acquitances relationships for all means, and that sort of thinking really sucks.

    Gay life is not easy, and some gay people don't make it easier, as is not enough having straight people as enemy we need to be wolf to our own brethren?!

    Is like this in your places?
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Aug 27, 2007 7:25 AM GMT
    Diversity is great again I am talking about guys acting like something they are not to gain sex personal gains etc. I am def not looking for agreemnet. The thread was about staright acting and actual masculinity. I still think there is a difference.
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    Sep 01, 2007 9:47 AM GMT
    'straight acting' is a vile term but it i think it's merely a misguided use of language meaning masculine. i think if you confronted most men who use it with, 'so you're only acting straight are you. really your like ru paul?' they would see through it's inadeqacey to describe what they really want to say.

    things are changing but there still is the perception that ALL gay men are feminine in their behaviour. one of the reasons for this in britain is that we have a long history of effeminate comedians on tv, who for many years were the only representation of gay men that most straight people knew, so i can understand why many of us wanted to separate ourselves from this particularly flamboyant group. i can think of several incidents at work in recent times where when a female colleague, for example, discovered i was gay she suddenly changed her behaviour towards me and started being all 'girly' with me expecting me to do the same. now this might seem innocent enough but it can be completely undermining and i can't stand it when i'm labelled as any one thing in particular. i am so many things just like everyone else. (and i'll be girly if i want to but not to fit a stereotype).

    before i'm accused of gay bashing let me say in my world there is room for all 'types' for want of a better word.

    i always think of modern day gay culture as being in it's infancy so hopefully we will evolve to a state where terms like 'straight acting' will be so unecessary.
    (obviously the straight community will need to evolve as well a tad)

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    Sep 01, 2007 9:54 AM GMT
    'I don't think masculinity is subjective. The value judgment society adds to its concept of masculinity isn't subjective either. It boils down to being strong, honorable, and responsible, desirable traits that help society survive and prosper.'

    mtndudesf if this is true i must know a lot of particularly masculine women because they are strong, honourable and responsible too.
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    Sep 08, 2007 12:06 PM GMT
    I am gay and a man. I don't feel that one is seperate from the other. My friends always say, if I am in a room full of gay men, everyone assumes I am heterosexual, and in a room full of straight men I am on my knees in the bathroom.

    I am just a a guy. My entire life I have only aspired to be Jim ****** and thats about it. I have NO patience for straight acting masculine BS. We have about 70 years on average to live. So shut up. Have fun. Try not to hurt too many people along the way, and don't limit yourself. My ex was a BIG queen. Lisping, slender ballet dancer, he also had a huge dick, was exquisite in bed, loved dogs, was a scrapper, and really lived life on his own terms. Should it matter? NO. Do we make it matter? You betcha. I can pass, has it helped me in the long run? Probably not. I spend my entire life telling people I am gay. Not only is it annoying, but it also causes moment where I am like .... GREAT what is gonna happen when these people discover I am NOT straight.

    I am not about to change who I am, but I think it is a nice easy way for certain men to hide in a partial closet. I am glad you are all butch and shit, but can you bait a hook? Climb a mountain? Throw a punch? Build a house? Who cares, by the time this debate gets ended you will be dead. I would rather enjoy my life, I don't get along with most gay men very well, mainly because they don't get who I am. I personally feel that men that have to advertise thier personal manliness are trying too hard.
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    Sep 08, 2007 4:58 PM GMT
    I agree with a lot of the posters that straight acting is an act, a false representation of oneself. That's fine for role-playing, not fine for the basis of a relationship. "Masculine" is what? I'm less sure. There's still something that rings a little hollow to me when guys describe themselves or their ideal mates as "masculine".

    I want to riff on this topic a little.

    I understand that some guys are into men and don't want to see any trace of femininity in themselves of their partners.

    On the other hand, if you want to find the bravest, ballsiest members of our community, just think about how much courage it takes to flame out in our society. Being a sissy isn't for wimps. And from another perspective, consider the bravery of transguys, who have gone through much more than any bio-boy ever will to become masculine.

    So my question is this - is it inherently self-hating (homophobic) to be worried about femininity in oneself or others?
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    Sep 15, 2007 11:44 PM GMT
    lyle.jpg
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    Sep 25, 2007 4:09 AM GMT
    Well said, Dakuk.
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    Sep 25, 2007 4:29 AM GMT
    Dakuk, women can certainly fit the traits that society ascribes to masculinity. It's really what feminism is all about, particularly the part about being strong and responsible. In most paternalistic societies the traditional view is that one does not expect responsibility and strength from a woman, these are traits only expected of a man; the expectation for women is to please men and to rear children. In order to please men, women could not hold responsibility that would compete with men, nor exhibit strength which men would find difficult to dominate.

    My view of masculinity is that much of its traditional meaning are important and relevant behavioral standards for all adults today. I don't agree with limiting its application to men only.