I Bought a LAVA LAMP

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    Dec 18, 2012 10:05 PM GMT
    lavalamp.jpg

    Wrote this today while thinking about my shopping experience on Saturday. Have you had similar experiences where you just needed to have something and went out of your way to get it? Enjoy!

    "I Bought a Lava Lamp" by Victor

    For some odd reason I felt I just had to have one. I had seen them at Walmart a few times, but the colors didn't quite match my decor. Who really wants a fuchsia lamp with purple water and yellow wax? I'm not a teenager. What I really wanted was orange lava with a black base. Something to give off that soothing amber glow and allow my mind to meander in the late night before bedtime. Pretty basic.

    Well, I searched all over: Craigslist, eBay, Amazon, then drove from store to store. Walmart, Target, K-mart, Bed, Bath and Beyond, all of them carried the same line of oddly-colored lamps. Of course, I saved Spencer's Gifts, the bearer of all things retro, for last.

    And there it was.

    Smack dab in the middle of ten other lamps, all fully heated up and bobbing gobs of lava, was exactly the lamp I had in mind. The price of all lamps, from the shorter 14" to the larger 16.3" lamp was $19.99. All on clearance. Did I want to spend that much money? Probably.

    I searched through all of the cylindrical boxes used to house the lamps below the display, nearly two dozen of them, turning them around to see what style lamp was inside. Green goop and black base. No. Yellow goop and silver base. No. Black goop in clear water (The Dark Knight model). No. There were no new orange goop with black base models left.

    So I asked the store manager if I could have the floor model. She said "yes," and I'd get a 20% discount, making it a $16 purchase. Boy was I happy. The only problem was I needed to wait for the lamp to cool down before taking it home. What I learned from reading online in my search is that you never want to move a heated-up lava lamp. Not only because it's hot and can burn you, but because it can cause it to permanently cloud if the uncooled goop mixes with the liquid.

    Do you know how long it takes a lava lamp to cool? Try about 1.5 hours. That's how long I waited in the mall, walking aimlessly from store to store to pass time. I even sampled crackers and dip at the Hickory Farms display. I can't tell you how many 2013 calendars I looked at: dogs, cats, dogs, cats, teenage idols, and Painter of Light Kinkade's. At one point I was about to duck into Radio Shack when I saw an old roommate I had two years ago looking at the cell phone accessories. He was the one I had to put a sheriff's notice on his bedroom door to make sure he left for not paying rent. I quickly turned my head and shuffled down the corridor to Target.

    All this time I tried to talk myself out of the purchase. What is wrong with you? Get over it. You could walk away right now and no harm is done. Surely if you don't come back they will just power the light back on so it can entertain the whims of the next '70s-longing customer. But $16, discounted, and all that time to find the one I wanted. Plus I had a coupon in my car for 10 Free Wings at a local steakhouse given to me by a friend who had won a year's supply of them. So dinner was covered. Just buy it. DO it. DO IT! I obeyed my inner voice, which said in the end, "Just get it and be happy."

    Finally, the lamp cooled enough for me to be fairly confident it would not mix if I moved it, though I was still unsure. The woman packed it up, rang me out, and there I went on my merry way...dodging hoards of kids running to get in line to sit on Santa's lap while I balanced a warm, glass vessel full of god knows what inside. Then I reached the parking lot and couldn't find my car.

    So there I was, walking hopelessly up and down the mega lot in front of a mega Walmart attached to a mega mall. I was almost certain I had parked in the aisle inline with the letters WAL, but that didn't seem to be the case. I tried to calculate just how much the inside of the lamp would be moving around based on my stride. Was it swishing around like water going down a toilet, or was I keeping it steady? What would it look like once I got home? Why did I buy this anyway?

    Ten minutes later I spotted my car three aisles over from where I thought it should be, and drove to pick up my wings. Once home, I waited for the lamp to reach room temperature, made adjustments to a book shelf so it would fit, and powered it up. Two hours later (it takes that long for it to go to town with the gobs), I sat in my living room and enjoyed the view. It was everything I thought it would be. Like a God, the Lava God, emanating and talking to me in ways that mere silence can not.

    My name is Victor, I'm 49, and I bought a lava lamp.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 18, 2012 10:12 PM GMT
    How come the water looks cloudy? icon_twisted.gif
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    Dec 18, 2012 10:14 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidHow come the water looks cloudy? icon_twisted.gif


    It's not cloudy, it's orange liquid and gobs....and a slow shutter on my camera. icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 18, 2012 10:21 PM GMT
    wrestlervic said

    My name is Victor, I'm 49, and I bought a lava lamp.


    Hello, Victor! Welcome.
    I'm Rob. I've been a lava-lamp user for over 8 years now. I can recall exactly how it all began:
    It was a "Dirty Santa" gift. No one wanted it & I was glad, 'cause I secretly wanted one. We 'users' know how to con someone, so I kept asking "please take this piece of crap off my hands!" knowing full well how the human mind works.
    I took it home, placed it in a place of honor and turned it on. Many hours later, the red globs began to slowly rise and fall....man, I was happy!

    Ok, who's next to speak in the 12 step program?icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 18, 2012 10:25 PM GMT
    I'm in the Twilight Zone...icon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
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    Dec 18, 2012 10:27 PM GMT
    wrestlervic saidMy name is Victor, I'm 49, and I bought a lava lamp.

    Sounds like an introductory line adapted from an AA meeting.

    No, seriously, I'm glad you got what you wished, and you're happy. A nice story.
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    Dec 18, 2012 10:29 PM GMT
    Funny how I can't wait for Christmas to be over so I can move the small Christmas tree on the table in the living room and replace it with the lava lamp.
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    Dec 19, 2012 12:02 AM GMT
    I didn't get one, only because I couldn't decide whether there should be different colored ones on either side of the bed or two of the same.
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    Dec 19, 2012 12:13 AM GMT
    Sometimes retro campy is too much fun to pass up. And it can be like comfort food, makes you feel all good inside.

    I had a BF who had a 1950s rotating silver Christmas tree with a color wheel spotlight illuminating it - year round. It was in an upstairs front bedroom where it could be seen from the street through the windows. Wonderfully eccentric, and made him happy. What's a lava lamp compared to that?
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    Dec 19, 2012 12:38 AM GMT
    I was so pleased to read how careful you were in selecting colors because when shopping lava lamps you'd hate to think anyone would buy a tacky one.

    Disaster avoided, thank God.
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    Dec 19, 2012 12:40 AM GMT
    You have to be careful not to let them get too hot before insertion.
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    Dec 19, 2012 12:41 AM GMT
    Ewwww. Could I relocate my comment please so I'm not next to the insertion one.
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    Dec 19, 2012 2:47 AM GMT
    theantijock saidI was so pleased to read how careful you were in selecting colors because when shopping lava lamps you'd hate to think anyone would buy a tacky one.
    Disaster avoided, thank God.
    LMFAO
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    Dec 19, 2012 2:58 AM GMT
    theantijock saidI was so pleased to read how careful you were in selecting colors because when shopping lava lamps you'd hate to think anyone would buy a tacky one.

    Disaster avoided, thank God.


    Says the man with the hippie '70s pic. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Dec 19, 2012 2:59 AM GMT
    mindgarden saidI didn't get one, only because I couldn't decide whether there should be different colored ones on either side of the bed or two of the same.


    Definitely the same color. Definitely. icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 19, 2012 3:03 AM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    wrestlervic saidMy name is Victor, I'm 49, and I bought a lava lamp.

    Sounds like an introductory line adapted from an AA meeting.

    No, seriously, I'm glad you got what you wished, and you're happy. A nice story.


    It goes with your peace sign and wig.
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    Dec 19, 2012 3:30 AM GMT
    theantijock saidEwwww. Could I relocate my comment please so I'm not next to the insertion one.


    You know how I like to take things down to the lowest common denominator. icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 19, 2012 3:37 AM GMT
    wrestlervic said
    ART_DECO said
    wrestlervic saidMy name is Victor, I'm 49, and I bought a lava lamp.

    Sounds like an introductory line adapted from an AA meeting.

    No, seriously, I'm glad you got what you wished, and you're happy. A nice story.

    It goes with your peace sign and wig.

    You're right! Same time period (although my silly wig would have been my own hair back then). But if you add shag carpets and black lighting on psychedelic posters you may be overdoing things. icon_confused.gif
  • Angelix90

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    Dec 19, 2012 3:37 AM GMT
    I never seen a real lava lamp before. I don't think they even sell it here.
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    Dec 19, 2012 4:52 AM GMT
    Now you just need one of these:

    oavgr7.gif

    and these:

    2mhhp8y.jpg

    and these:

    34hxhtc.jpg
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    Dec 19, 2012 5:30 AM GMT
    mindgarden saidI didn't get one, only because I couldn't decide whether there should be different colored ones on either side of the bed or two of the same.


    I thought you said you knew this: It's red on right returning.

    wrestlervic said
    theantijock saidI was so pleased to read how careful you were in selecting colors because when shopping lava lamps you'd hate to think anyone would buy a tacky one.

    Disaster avoided, thank God.


    Says the man with the hippie '70s pic. icon_rolleyes.gif


    I'm just teasin' ya. Actually there was a blue one in my room at my brother's new house during Thanksgiving weekend. But my room growing up--before heading out for life aboard the boat--was a psychedelic hippie pad. My friends from then & my family still mention it every so often. Only everyone remembers it wrong, with black walls. They were dark purple. Though I think the ceiling might have been black. And I painted stars on it. I had this huge room because the previous owners built it as a dorm for their many kids. So I had it sectioned off into the study area, the sleeping areas (I held lots of sleepovers, very fun), the party areas. Bean bag chairs. Posters and lighting and murals and those mobiles. Pretty much the opposite of how I keep my house today (well, but for the disco ball, ooops).

    Enjoy your new find. That was a cute write up you did on it. May you and your lava lamp enjoy many years of happiness together.

    GAMRican said
    theantijock saidEwwww. Could I relocate my comment please so I'm not next to the insertion one.


    You know how I like to take things down to the lowest common denominator. icon_lol.gif


    It wasn't the taking down. It was the taking up that I found unsettling. Hey, I don't care what you do with yer lava lamp. Though if that's all you're using it for, then why should color matter and would that be prejudice or preference? Don't answer that. I do not want the details.
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    Dec 19, 2012 5:31 AM GMT
    eagermuscle saidNow you just need one of these:

    and these:

    34hxhtc.jpg


    I still have mine. haha. Hold on I'll see if I can find it and take a picture.

    Was in garage. Thing still works. Cool.

    IMG_2679_1_zpsae6281ec.jpg
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    Dec 19, 2012 5:48 AM GMT
    I saw a movie in which sorority girls had a disco ball inside the refrigerator. It flooded the kitchen when they opened the fridge to get a Tab.

    Now I have to get one of those...icon_redface.gif
  • FRE0

    Posts: 4865

    Dec 19, 2012 6:07 AM GMT
    Before I read your post, I assumed that you got the lamp from a museum.
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Dec 19, 2012 6:11 AM GMT
    What a silly purchase considering that in a few days that stuff will be free and widely available.