Why wouldn't you date me?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2012 4:04 AM GMT
    I wanna hear the reasons and some things I can work on...
  • RaggedyMan

    Posts: 7185

    Dec 19, 2012 6:42 AM GMT
    I don't know you so there really isn't one.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2012 6:43 AM GMT
    Because, I don't understand what yo name means!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2012 6:51 AM GMT
    Dude....sometimes there isn't something physical that makes someone not want to be with another person. Sometimes its emotional....sometimes its personality...sometimes its timing....sometimes its just a feeling. You shouldnt really be too concerned with why certain people do not want to date you...and be more concerned with making the best YOU that you want to be. Be the person you want to be and just be open to meeting other guys who want you for being yourself.

    (exits soap box)
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    Dec 19, 2012 6:51 AM GMT
    Slim2010 saidBecause, I don't understand what yo name means!!


    Mashoga means gay in swahili
  • Kel_

    Posts: 1360

    Dec 19, 2012 6:53 AM GMT
    callen12345 saidDude....sometimes there isn't something physical that makes someone not want to be with another person. Sometimes its emotional....sometimes its personality...sometimes its timing....sometimes its just a feeling. You shouldnt really be too concerned with why certain people do not want to date you...and be more concerned with making the best YOU that you want to be. Be the person you want to be and just be open to meeting other guys who want you for being yourself.

    (exits soap box)


    *gives a standing ovation*
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Dec 19, 2012 6:55 AM GMT
    Because I'm a top and I doubt my 9 inch dick will even reach where it needs to go...

    You asked!

    To be serious, I think not-so-attractive people are wasting their time online, because their chances are even worse here, since lack of human interaction reduces everything to only the most superficial factors. Just saying.
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    Dec 19, 2012 6:55 AM GMT
    Kel_ said
    callen12345 saidDude....sometimes there isn't something physical that makes someone not want to be with another person. Sometimes its emotional....sometimes its personality...sometimes its timing....sometimes its just a feeling. You shouldnt really be too concerned with why certain people do not want to date you...and be more concerned with making the best YOU that you want to be. Be the person you want to be and just be open to meeting other guys who want you for being yourself.

    (exits soap box)


    *gives a standing ovation*


    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2012 7:04 AM GMT
    whytehot saidBecause I'm a top and I doubt my 9 inch dick will even reach where it needs to go...

    You asked!

    To be serious, I think not-so-attractive people are wasting their time online, because their chances are even worse here, since lack of human interaction reduces everything to only the most superficial factors. Just saying.


    Lol I promise you it will fit lol

    And you have a point. Personality.don't translate.that well
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    Dec 19, 2012 1:15 PM GMT
    whytehot said
    To be serious, I think not-so-attractive people are wasting their time online, because their chances are even worse here, since lack of human interaction reduces everything to only the most superficial factors. Just saying.


    Wow that was a little harsh but in all honesty some truth can be found in what you said.
    The only unfortunate thing is that, I suppose more so in the gay world, the internet seems to be the most 'useful' or at least most accessible way to do so (and I don't know if it's mostly to provide the hook up lifestyle most average gay men have).

    Which leaves the, like you said, "not-so-attractive" people stuck in a rut so to speak. They are judged by their looks from society, and then intensified more so on the internet in some ways.
    Since most of the advice I've seen from here about finding a relationship generally circled around hooking up and then seeing if it could lead to more, when people have hook-up on their mind, again the not-so-attractive people seem to be the last thing on their mind, if at all.

    I don't know this for a fact, this is just mere observation but it's interesting to see if it will ever evolve from that way or not. I suppose only the future will tell.
    What I say to try comfort myself is "ah well, someone's gotta fit some kind of demographic..."
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Dec 19, 2012 2:01 PM GMT
    you can date me icon_cry.gif
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    Dec 19, 2012 2:56 PM GMT
    Karl saidyou can date me icon_cry.gif


    Aw and I would if you weren't two flights and a bus ride away lol.
  • Kinneticbrian

    Posts: 230

    Dec 19, 2012 3:16 PM GMT
    This seems to be kind of a "time honored dilemma" of a lot of guys, and the answer may just be so simple that nobody believes it.

    By asking a question like this, you're being very general and broad in what you're seeking. Take 10 guys who do not want to date you and you'll get 10 different reasons, or combinations of reasons why. By trying to make yourself "date-able" to everyone, you will become desirable to nobody. Stop, take a moment and do an inventory on yourself. Who ARE you? Who are YOU and WHO are you? are three very good places to start. What do you have to offer someone else?

    Stop making it "all about you". No successful dating relationship, be it 3 dates or 30 years is a "one side of the coin" equation. Instead of the mindset which asks "Why doesn't (he, anyone) want ME?" you have to come to a point where you evaluate things and ask "What could I possibly bring to this person and to this relationship that is worthy of another human being? What can I do for him?" Only by knowing yourself, loving yourself and being humble but confident in your answers can you truly be date worthy. And this confidence is dual in nature. It gives you the ability to engage people uniquely and specifically, and it deflects rejection.

    Finally, ask these questions. What do you want? What do you need? Are you open to change or growth? Get a picture, a clear picture of the kind of person you want to date. Then look at yourself in light of that. Be honest with yourself. What needs work? What is good? What is great?

    People are, in many ways, exactly like stars. No other star and no person can command a star to shine. It does so because of the unique fusion of elements going on inside of it. When you can bring about that fusion of elements within yourself, and YOU begin to shine, you will find that then, and only then can you appreciate the elements in others that makes them unique and makes them truly shine.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2012 3:19 PM GMT
    This question for one. If you have to ask, expect people to find you an answer.

    Think to the opposite: tell us what we're missing. icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 19, 2012 3:19 PM GMT
    whytehot saidBecause I'm a top and I doubt my 9 inch dick will even reach where it needs to go...

    You asked!



    Your dick is only 9 inches? You're small for internet standards. ;)
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    Dec 19, 2012 3:23 PM GMT
    If I were you, I'd want to know the good qualities that would make someone want to date me. By asking to hear the negative, you're setting yourself up for hurt feelings because frankly, a profile only depicts physical attributes. Therefore, the reasons are going to be based on how you look and not necessarily how you are.

    Having said that, I would not date you because physically, you are not my type and anyone that asks this question shows signs of their own unhappiness and lack of self confidence. Both are complete turn offs to me.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Dec 19, 2012 3:27 PM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince saidI wanna hear the reasons and some things I can work on...
    Wouldn't date because you lack self confidence....How do I know?...You're asking total strangers their opinions.
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    Dec 19, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    CuriousOne saidIf I were you, I'd want to know the good qualities that would make someone want to date me. By asking to hear the negative, you're setting yourself up for hurt feelings because frankly, a profile only depicts physical attributes. Therefore, the reasons are going to be based on how you look and not necessarily how you are.

    Having said that, I would not date you because physically, you are not my type and anyone that asks this question shows signs of their own unhappiness and lack of self confidence. Both are complete turn offs to me.


    If I asked for positive attributes this thread would be two posts long.
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    Dec 19, 2012 3:52 PM GMT
    I'm going to say something that is likely to get me in trouble.

    I used to make posts like this, too. This issue isn't the other people, it's you. I can say that with certainty because I have been in your shoes. You may ask any of the people that were around earlier in the year. I don't talk about it on this site anymore and it is now irrelevant.

    One thing I did learn is that my happiness is what I make it. For every 5 people that openly think I'm hideous, there is at least one that doesn't and that's a start. When I first started posting I considered myself a zero. Now I think I'm a solid 5, sometimes a 6. Some may agree, some may disagree. What matters is how I feel about myself and how I use my own self-confidence to encourage others.

    Not everyone is going to find you appealing, and that's OK. Make the most of the one's that do.

    Merry Christmas!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2012 3:52 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]MashogaNubianPrince said

    If I asked for positive attributes this thread would be two posts long.[/quote]

    You have NO self confidence! There's a fine line between sad and pathetic. You are teetering on that line!!!
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    Dec 19, 2012 3:57 PM GMT
    LakeviewBrian saidThis seems to be kind of a "time honored dilemma" of a lot of guys, and the answer may just be so simple that nobody believes it.

    By asking a question like this, you're being very general and broad in what you're seeking. Take 10 guys who do not want to date you and you'll get 10 different reasons, or combinations of reasons why. By trying to make yourself "date-able" to everyone, you will become desirable to nobody. Stop, take a moment and do an inventory on yourself. Who ARE you? Who are YOU and WHO are you? are three very good places to start. What do you have to offer someone else?

    Stop making it "all about you". No successful dating relationship, be it 3 dates or 30 years is a "one side of the coin" equation. Instead of the mindset which asks "Why doesn't (he, anyone) want ME?" you have to come to a point where you evaluate things and ask "What could I possibly bring to this person and to this relationship that is worthy of another human being? What can I do for him?" Only by knowing yourself, loving yourself and being humble but confident in your answers can you truly be date worthy. And this confidence is dual in nature. It gives you the ability to engage people uniquely and specifically, and it deflects rejection.

    Finally, ask these questions. What do you want? What do you need? Are you open to change or growth? Get a picture, a clear picture of the kind of person you want to date. Then look at yourself in light of that. Be honest with yourself. What needs work? What is good? What is great?

    People are, in many ways, exactly like stars. No other star and no person can command a star to shine. It does so because of the unique fusion of elements going on inside of it. When you can bring about that fusion of elements within yourself, and YOU begin to shine, you will find that then, and only then can you appreciate the elements in others that makes them unique and makes them truly shine.


    Well its hard for me to say what I am bring to the table and who I am because I don't know. I really just become whoever I'm with. I've always prided myself on the fact that I be whatever or whoever you want. I tend to take on other peoples personalities because I don't really know what mine is. That's usually why I ask other people.
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    Dec 19, 2012 4:02 PM GMT
    CuriousOne said[quote][cite]MashogaNubianPrince said

    If I asked for positive attributes this thread would be two posts long.


    You have NO self confidence! There's a fine line between sad and pathetic. You are teetering on that line!!![/quote]

    I'm just being honest. I don't really like I have anything to be confident about.
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    Dec 19, 2012 4:02 PM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    LakeviewBrian saidThis seems to be kind of a "time honored dilemma" of a lot of guys, and the answer may just be so simple that nobody believes it.

    By asking a question like this, you're being very general and broad in what you're seeking. Take 10 guys who do not want to date you and you'll get 10 different reasons, or combinations of reasons why. By trying to make yourself "date-able" to everyone, you will become desirable to nobody. Stop, take a moment and do an inventory on yourself. Who ARE you? Who are YOU and WHO are you? are three very good places to start. What do you have to offer someone else?

    Stop making it "all about you". No successful dating relationship, be it 3 dates or 30 years is a "one side of the coin" equation. Instead of the mindset which asks "Why doesn't (he, anyone) want ME?" you have to come to a point where you evaluate things and ask "What could I possibly bring to this person and to this relationship that is worthy of another human being? What can I do for him?" Only by knowing yourself, loving yourself and being humble but confident in your answers can you truly be date worthy. And this confidence is dual in nature. It gives you the ability to engage people uniquely and specifically, and it deflects rejection.

    Finally, ask these questions. What do you want? What do you need? Are you open to change or growth? Get a picture, a clear picture of the kind of person you want to date. Then look at yourself in light of that. Be honest with yourself. What needs work? What is good? What is great?

    People are, in many ways, exactly like stars. No other star and no person can command a star to shine. It does so because of the unique fusion of elements going on inside of it. When you can bring about that fusion of elements within yourself, and YOU begin to shine, you will find that then, and only then can you appreciate the elements in others that makes them unique and makes them truly shine.


    Well its hard for me to say what I am bring to the table and who I am because I don't know. I really just become whoever I'm with. I've always prided myself on the fact that I be whatever or whoever you want. I tend to take on other peoples personalities because I don't really know what mine is. That's usually why I ask other people.


    .......and you don't think that's somewhat unsettling? For the other person that is.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2012 4:05 PM GMT
    deerheart said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    LakeviewBrian saidThis seems to be kind of a "time honored dilemma" of a lot of guys, and the answer may just be so simple that nobody believes it.

    By asking a question like this, you're being very general and broad in what you're seeking. Take 10 guys who do not want to date you and you'll get 10 different reasons, or combinations of reasons why. By trying to make yourself "date-able" to everyone, you will become desirable to nobody. Stop, take a moment and do an inventory on yourself. Who ARE you? Who are YOU and WHO are you? are three very good places to start. What do you have to offer someone else?

    Stop making it "all about you". No successful dating relationship, be it 3 dates or 30 years is a "one side of the coin" equation. Instead of the mindset which asks "Why doesn't (he, anyone) want ME?" you have to come to a point where you evaluate things and ask "What could I possibly bring to this person and to this relationship that is worthy of another human being? What can I do for him?" Only by knowing yourself, loving yourself and being humble but confident in your answers can you truly be date worthy. And this confidence is dual in nature. It gives you the ability to engage people uniquely and specifically, and it deflects rejection.

    Finally, ask these questions. What do you want? What do you need? Are you open to change or growth? Get a picture, a clear picture of the kind of person you want to date. Then look at yourself in light of that. Be honest with yourself. What needs work? What is good? What is great?

    People are, in many ways, exactly like stars. No other star and no person can command a star to shine. It does so because of the unique fusion of elements going on inside of it. When you can bring about that fusion of elements within yourself, and YOU begin to shine, you will find that then, and only then can you appreciate the elements in others that makes them unique and makes them truly shine.


    Well its hard for me to say what I am bring to the table and who I am because I don't know. I really just become whoever I'm with. I've always prided myself on the fact that I be whatever or whoever you want. I tend to take on other peoples personalities because I don't really know what mine is. That's usually why I ask other people.


    .......and you don't think that's somewhat unsettling? For the other person that is.


    Not really no. I've always been this way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 19, 2012 4:08 PM GMT
    icon_confused.gif.........Okay.....well, that's all I wanted to know. icon_smile.gif Hope you get what you're looking for out of this thread.