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Normally I don't feel like posting my problems with people in a public forum, but this one is really wiggin me, and I thought it deserved public attention.

START OF RANT

Last night I signed onto realjock and noticed I had a picture comment to approve. I looked at the comment from some 22 y/o good looking Italian guy. The comment was on my main picture, and it said, "You have terrible proportions."

...

I won't name his name on here, because I'm classy but safe to say I deleted the comment, wrote him back, called him a dick, and blocked him (ok, maybe not THAT classy).

Why would someone just randomly do that? I'm not opposed to a little criticism on my body. Hell, I'm in a profession where it's constantly criticised. I can deal with that. But I had never met this guy before. Never talked to him before. Apparantly he just came across my profile and decided he wanted to take me down a peg.

I guess the point of my posting this is to send a message to everyone who does this on this site. I come to this site to be part of a gay community that supports health and fitness, not to be the victim of some guy wanting to be catty or hurtful. Nothing good comes from cutting someone down randomly. If you don't like how a person looks, saying they look bad isn't going to make you or him feel any better, it'll just create negativity. Supporting and helping your fellow man to attain their goals will create positivity.

So basically, as I thought we all learned in Kindergarten, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all! Trust me, it will save you a lot of time.

END OF RANT

If it makes you feel any better, I love your proportions.

On a serious note though, I understand what you're saying. I have no problems getting into it with people on here based on what they post. But in your case that was a random, unneeded comment. If pointing out your lack of good proportions is so important, I feel an email about it would have been more appropriate, followed by some constructive ideas on how to improve your body (not like you need it). Did he really expect you to approve such a comment?

Some guys are just lame. Chalk it up to jealousy.

I think that's very rude. I'm glad for the feature that lets you review a comment before it gets posted.

If you don't have anything nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me.LOL.

Seriously.......chalk it up to jealously, envy by the other guy. And be content and smile knowing that this person found something terrific about you, but in order for him to feel better about himself, he had to put you down.

I like your proportions. I'm sure your measurments, combined with your atitude make you a winning combination of manhood virtues.

Sometimes you can completely kill a guy with kindness and irony. Totally wipe him out like you are wiping your ass after a dump. I would have thanked him for his comments and asked him for advice on how to correct the flaws in you that he noticed. His reponse will give you fodder and amnunition to blow him out of the water.

I hope to one day have proportions close to yours. With that said, individuals who point out what they see to be "flaws" are often times jealous of what they cannot achieve. Obviously he is not happy with what he see's in the mirror.

Just send him this...

First of all...you're totally gorgeous and any guy criticizing your looks needs to have his eyes checked.

Some guys are jerks and get off on putting people down and there's not much you can really do about it other than pity them for their low self esteem and laugh at the fact the you just met someone who failed Kindergarten. Laugh it off and continue on with whatever it is you were doing...the more u think about it, the longer you're keeping a nuisance in your life.

He was just being MEAN.
Me, I like a little monster in my man, like when nysexy called me a bastard that time.

It's called jealousy and bitterness.

You have a great body and a handsome face.

Just ignore him and his comments, some people just like attacking people.

I think a lot of people would kill for your proportions, I know I would.

Some RJ members need to take a Dale Carnegie course. This guy obviously does not know how to win friends and influence people.

wow. insecure much? your proportions are not terrible. Not terrible.

well, if you whip it out, maybe I can comment on your proportions. ...

You're not the only one here who gets unsolicited nasty comments.

Did this public posting help you?

I think it was a typo.

he meant to say you have terrible preparations...

you really should do more warm ups before you take the stage. stretching for a full 15 minutes is essential.

It seems a lot pf people missed out on this particular afterschool special.
A lot of conflicts would have been easily avoided if one kept one's opinion to oneself. By the way, you have great shoulders.

i think you have terrific proportions.

wassupunk saidi think you have terrific proportions.

I second that...

I think that this is just another example of how some members of this group have more muscles and less brains. You are perfectly fine and as you point out, he does not even know you. Yes our profiles are public, but that does not give us the right to insult each other. It has happened to me in the chat a few times and to be honest now I just see them as insecure individuals that need some excitement in their daily lives because looking at their own reflection is not enough anymore.

Another thing to keep in mind is this: the internet, like seven straight shots of Patron, allows people to feel safe saying and doing things they wouldn't otherwise in a million years dare. It also hides social ineptitudes.

By the way, you mentioned the guy was Italian. Maybe English isn't his first language, and he meant to say 'terrific' instead of 'terrible.' I once called something 'stupid' instead of 'stupendous' in a high school Spanish class...it's a simple enough mistake.

You're obviously in tremendous shape, so probably he was just jealous. Criticizing someone on their strengths / virtues is what envious, insecure people do. Let it go.

You are right. This guy has to learn how to respect other people. Besides, I think you are in good shape.

First, I definatly have to agree with the others. You are gorgeous and have wondeful proportions.

Second, don't let what some insecure asshat said about how you look bring you down.

When I first started on here, I had a few guys tell me that I didn't belong. That I was WAY to fat for anyone to like. Even had someone sugest I should try joining a fatties site. These thigs at first got me down and made me kinda sad. Thankfully there are TONS more guys on here that are really great. I have formed a wonderful relationship with a number of them and am thankful each day that I didn't listen to those tiny brained loosers (who I mught add have subsequently either been deleted or left themselves lol).

Thats awful... I've always thought the guys of Real Jock are to quick to fly of the handle and get into arguments over stupid topics in the threads but this is totally different and just out right rude... Thats a personal attack.

Dude, he's prolly just jealous.

They are charging, now :FUCK THAT !!!

Speaking as someone who actually has "terrible proportions", I'd love to have your "terrible proportions".

Personally, I wouldn't let myself be insulted by an idiot nor should you. I don't need to tell you that you look good. Unfortunately, there's no moron filter here, so we simply ignore them.

Being young and good looking obviously empowers him to assume that his lack of tack, perspective, discretion, courteousness, and the knowledge or education to use any of these qualities is unnecessary.

kencarson said
Why would someone just randomly do that?

Because he is a jealous hater. He see's you and wants what you have. Poor guy. Tell him to keep working out and maybe in a few years he could look as good as you. You know your the shit when you have guys randomly talking shit to you. Congratulations. You have made it.

kencarson saidI looked at the comment from some 22 y/o good looking Italian guy.

If he even is 22, good-looking and/or Italian! Anyone that would make a nasty comment like that could also very well be hiding behind a fake profile.

He's obviously a 700 pound one-eyed hunchback with snaggle teeth and chronic halitosis who is just trying to make himself feel better.

Your proportions are just fine.



Oh, and send him this.

Did he e-mail the wrong address? Or maybe he had some sort of eye infection that messes with his vision or maybe he was having his period (b#tch that he is) cuz I'm not seeing what he's seeing, and based on his comment I can't figure out why he thinks his opinion would be of any relevance to anyone, anywhere, ever! When I saw your profile pic it made me want to HotList you His unsolicited remarks are all out of proportion to his importance.

What gives him the right to make such unsolicited comments, even if you had a terrible bod (which you don't)? Does he have a daily quota of horrible comments to make? Spread a little LOVE instead!

I think you should've left the comment. If he wants to show his @$$ to all who read your profile, then let him. While he may feel smug and justified, every one who reads is going to see what a d.b. he is.

When I lost my weight and posted new pictures on gay.com I received several put downs about "my new look" from guys who I'd seen, but had never interacted with. I agree with everyone who said jealous, inferior, and insecure. You have a very nice body. Chances are you're his target because he feels you're a notch above him on some sort of scale of comparison he drew up in his head, but he feels it's close enough to where an attack is warranted. Yes I am overanalytical.

Your situation reminds me of something that happened to me recently, only in the opposite way:
I'm not at all a gym body. I do some natural excercise, like walking, hiking, and when I can get another bike, that too. I also work out with my bullwhips. But, I most definately DO NOT have a gym body, just average. But I like jocks, and I admire them, so that's why I'm here.

Anyway, not long ago, I got an email through RJ from this kid in a foreign country. I won't say where, but it's a place where the men are INCREDIBLY hot, as well as the women. Anyway, this kid, around the mid-twenties in age, says that he thinks I'm really hot, he loves my posts, and would like to see if I'd be interested in a relationship with him that would lead to marriage.

Well, I was really blown-away, not just because he was apparently so smitten with me that he would propose this, but also because he was not only SUPER HOT and cute, but at his young age, he could have any other really hot guy he wanted of ANY age. Why he would pick someone who was my age (50), and why that someone was ME, still confuses me to this day. Obviously I was flattered, until somebody else suggested he was only interested in getting into the U.S. using marriage as a way in. I guess I can see that, but still, you'd think he'd be more attracted to someone closer in age to him. Not that I mind, I was very flattered.

In the end, I chose not to write him back, as I didn't have anything in common with him, and felt that if I wrote, him, it would only encourage him more. Hope he finds someone.

I also hope you'll take the comment that guy made about your "proportions" with a grain of salt. Take Care!

I am still new to RJ...but how do you even post a comment to a photo...I can't seem to figure it out???

BTW....you look fine. Maybe some can't relate to your walk on the wild side......

zdrew saidAnother thing to keep in mind is this: the internet, like seven straight shots of Patron, allows people to feel safe saying and doing things they wouldn't otherwise in a million years dare. It also hides social ineptitudes.

By the way, you mentioned the guy was Italian. Maybe English isn't his first language, and he meant to say 'terrific' instead of 'terrible.' I once called something 'stupid' instead of 'stupendous' in a high school Spanish class...it's a simple enough mistake.

My ititial reaction was that your commentor was an a-hole. The internet's FULL of them, but I'm with zdrew now. I don't think even someone crazy or deliberately rude would post a comment on your picture just to say that you have 'terrible' proportions. That just doesn't make sense. 'Doesn't mean the guy DIDN'T, but it sure sounds unlikely to me.

I'd just ignore him, really. It is possible that he had terrific/terrible confused, but if he hadn't then he just wanted to offend you and like I once heard "you shouldn't fight with pigs, you get dirty and they enjoy it".

someone on this site wrote me to say he though i'm anorexic (and went downhill from there.)

i agree that following the golden rule is the way to go. i've really made some great connections with guys out there. but every once in a while you get someone who just seems to need to dump their junk on someone else.

Well some people feel that if they say something rude, shocking or just plain mean they figure they will get noticed and get a response from you in the hopes that a convo might happen. Little do they realize that negativity breeds negativity.

I openly admit I've done something similar like this but I make it a point to point out the humor in my comments when messaging people so they will at least chuckle a little and hopefully comment back. I don't have time to search someone out just to make a rude comment for no legitimate reason.

I feel your anger.

Thanks for all the support and compliments guys (I promise I wasn't fishing).

I'm glad to see there are people here who know the ins and out of common courtesey. I just hope this post makes people who post these random comments think twice about why they do what they do, and maybe why they shouldn't.

People randomly attack other people because people are jackasses


Rofl don't worry though, you don't have terrible proportions. I bet a lot of people would kill for your body.

RBY71 saidHe's obviously a 700 pound one-eyed hunchback with snaggle teeth and chronic halitosis who is just trying to make himself feel better.

Your proportions are just fine.



Oh, and send him this.

Oh snap!

If I have something not nice to say, then I say it to the person. There's no point in bottling it up and then releasing it at inappropriate times. I'm not a stepford housewife and this is not the 50s, so if someone's an idiot I let them know.

Having said that, I don't message random people lecturing them on what I think is should be physically proportionate. That's just retarded. You should post the guy's name so that he can come in and try to defend himself. This would be one of the greatest flame wars.

Yeah, ignore him. You look great.

u knw what dude...just tell that guy to FUCK OFFFF cuz your hot as hell with sexy proportions......glad u atleast called him a dick...

Ken,

You have nothing to worry about - you look fantastic! Now if I could just have a build like yours...

As for the comment - I have to assume that the guy who e-mailed you must have had some issue with himself and by sending you the nasty gram was trying to make himself feel better or superior. I think you are the better man for handling it the way you did. Unfortunately there will always be those type of guys - you just have to learn to take it in stride and feel comfortable with who you are!

Clearly the guy needs to get his eyes examined

Nowadays it's cool to be an asshole. Obviously he thinks he's the shit. I'm willing to bet that the 22-year old 'good-looking' italian guy is unverified and is in actuality a 70 something bitter couch potato.

dude you can't please everybody but the guy's a loser for posting such a rude comment... I'd have left the comment in only so others can see it (and the poster).

BTW the guy was Italian American, not from Italy.

Probably an insecure Democrat!

Actually, I'm joking, but I have noticed that online many people feel like they can say things that they would never typically say face to face. It seems to be endemic these days, and there is no accountability. You look totally fine, and I think you were right in quickly "blocking" this sort of negativity from your life. If anything, this joker could probably take a few fitness pointers from you.

Keep on keepin on.

CB

kencarson saidNormally I don't feel like posting my problems with people in a public forum, but this one is really wiggin me, and I thought it deserved public attention.

START OF RANT

Last night I signed onto realjock and noticed I had a picture comment to approve. I looked at the comment from some 22 y/o good looking Italian guy. The comment was on my main picture, and it said, "You have terrible proportions."

...

I won't name his name on here, because I'm classy but safe to say I deleted the comment, wrote him back, called him a dick, and blocked him (ok, maybe not THAT classy).

Why would someone just randomly do that? I'm not opposed to a little criticism on my body. Hell, I'm in a profession where it's constantly criticised. I can deal with that. But I had never met this guy before. Never talked to him before. Apparantly he just came across my profile and decided he wanted to take me down a peg.

I guess the point of my posting this is to send a message to everyone who does this on this site. I come to this site to be part of a gay community that supports health and fitness, not to be the victim of some guy wanting to be catty or hurtful. Nothing good comes from cutting someone down randomly. If you don't like how a person looks, saying they look bad isn't going to make you or him feel any better, it'll just create negativity. Supporting and helping your fellow man to attain their goals will create positivity.

So basically, as I thought we all learned in Kindergarten, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all! Trust me, it will save you a lot of time.

END OF RANT

Why would someone just randomly do that? Because fairies are jealous pieces of shit! What else is there to say about it?

not to sound stupid...but i get called ugly all the time....people loving my body but not my face....i wouldnt listen to ONE single dude who said u had bad proportions if like 50 others actually LIKE what they see. And people never say anything nice in general. its online....manners have been lost in real life can u imagine in virtual life?

So yeah, although i understand your rant...u have nothing to worry about. At least you can CHANGE the proportions...i have to do a whole thousannd dollar surgery to get taller and change my face.