At what age and what events lead you to realize / discover that you might be or could be Gay?

  • sonuus

    Posts: 84

    Dec 23, 2012 3:24 AM GMT
    For me I was in my teens, and I use to get a lot of wet dreams of naked guys, and once while sharing a bed with my straight friend, I really felt like touching and feeling him, which led me to thinking I could actually be Gay.
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    Dec 23, 2012 3:32 AM GMT
    7th grade I developed my first serious crush on a boy. At that point I knew I liked guys, but figured I would find a gf and not act on that. Come sophomore year of hs, I thought to myself, "I'm pretty sure I'm gay, fuck". Throughout all of hs I still told myself I would always deny it and keep it a secret. College changed everything and I've been transitioning to being fully out.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 23, 2012 3:34 AM GMT
    When I was about 4 or 5 years old I was crushing on a couple of guys in the neighborhood that I thought were so good looking. They were probably only 2 or 3 years older than me, bit I thought they were soooo handsome.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Dec 23, 2012 3:38 AM GMT
    19ish
  • sonuus

    Posts: 84

    Dec 23, 2012 3:43 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidWhen I was about 4 or 5 years old I was crushing on a couple of guys in the neighborhood that I thought were so good looking. They were probably only 2 or 3 years older than me, bit I thought they were soooo handsome.


    Really by 4 or 5, you knew, wow!
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    Dec 23, 2012 3:45 AM GMT
    It's a collective experience of pretty much your entire life that culminates in the self-realization of being gay. When I was 5-6 there was this one buff carpenter who was doing work on our house. He'd work shirtless with overalls on. When I'd see him I had a strong, unexplainable feeling in me which at the time was something like frustrated anger. The exact same thing would happen when I saw my neighbor shirtless in his yard from my bedroom window. I just felt kind of angrily confused. When I was 12-13 and I'd watch dirty Cineamax'ish late night TV I was looking to see the guy's dick or ass, not the girls boobs which were plastered onto the screen an I just tried to look around.

    Then when I was 14 I started jacking off to gay internet porn. But I somehow..ignored it in my mind. In my mind I still liked girls and wanted to work hard to get a girlfriend, etc. But I jacked off to gay porn. Daily. But I buried the action deep in my mind and I never "self-actualized" it. When I was like 18 I remember crying in bed thinking "I might be gay" (after like, 4 years of jacking off to gay porn, DAILY). I didn't START to accept it until I was like 22-23.
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    Dec 23, 2012 3:51 AM GMT
    When I was in High School I always caught a peak at hot older teacher's asses (especially the gym coach in tight shorts). Yup, that about did it for me!
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Dec 23, 2012 4:02 AM GMT
    First of all, the use of the word "gay" to denote sexual orientation is a relatively recent linguistic phenomena. When I was a young'n, sex wasn't talked about openly on TV or by adults in front of children. Or, whenever it was mentioned, heterosexuality was assumed.

    That said, between kids things weren't quite like that. There was no "gay" but there certainly was "queer," "fag" and "homo." It was very clear to me from a very early age (pre-teen) that I was attracted to other boys. It was also clear to me that, although other boys would sometimes play around with one another, WANTING to was definitely NOT "ok". That was queer! So, I knew I was queer although I didn't really have much of an understanding of what that meant beyond the obvious. It wasn't until I was in high school that I began to discover that "homosexuality" existed. That is to say, that I began to learn that there were OTHERS like myself and that they comprised an sizeable minority in the population.

    I met my first "out" homosexual man my freshman year of college, 1966/67.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Dec 23, 2012 4:33 AM GMT
    sonuus said
    AMoonHawk saidWhen I was about 4 or 5 years old I was crushing on a couple of guys in the neighborhood that I thought were so good looking. They were probably only 2 or 3 years older than me, bit I thought they were soooo handsome.


    Really by 4 or 5, you knew, wow!

    Oh .. well, i guess I didn't really know, but I can look back at my life and pinpoint what my feelings were. At that age I had no idea was gay or homosexual was. If you want to know what age I knew, it was on my 16th birthday. I knew because I made out with and felt up another boy.
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    Dec 23, 2012 8:23 AM GMT
    i started watching queer as folk and looking up men on the internet and loved seeing their bodies....so i just accepted it!
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    Dec 23, 2012 5:07 PM GMT
    sonuus said
    AMoonHawk saidWhen I was about 4 or 5 years old I was crushing on a couple of guys in the neighborhood that I thought were so good looking. They were probably only 2 or 3 years older than me, bit I thought they were soooo handsome.


    Really by 4 or 5, you knew, wow!


    I have a similar reaction to people who didn't know until later in life. I also was very much aware of my sexual orientation before kindergarten. I had my first crush on an older neighbor kid when I was about 3 or 4 years old. He was maybe five and wanted nothing to do with me. I know it was that early because I remember it was when mom used to take me to pre-K reading classes. Also what might have burned it into my memory was a fire at that kid's home. Then my mom invited them to stay with us until they found housing. I distinctly recall being so impressed in that moment with my mother's kindness.

    So I wound up living for a few days with the love of my life camping in our living room, thinking, morbidly, how lucky I was to have him so close due to that fire (that I did not start--I swear), yet I couldn't do anything about it. Sexually frustrated at 4 (just kidding).

    So it's hard for me to relate to guys saying they didn't know about their own orientation as children and nearly impossible for me to imagine what sort of thinking goes on in guys who suppress their identities well into their adult lives.

    I have a friend who I grew up with--I think since we're about 8 years old--who is just now, at 55, starting to acknowledge his bisexual feelings. We're just at a point where we joke about it. He's the one who always brings it up. He did have a recent three way and really liked it. But there's something so sad about that to me. Not that he's missed out on having fun, he's had a lot of fun. I don't know what it is, just seems a little sad. Oh, wait, I know what it is, he's 55 and missed manning boat. That's okay though, I had enough fun for the both of us. I'll just have to share with him more of those stories.
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    Dec 23, 2012 5:17 PM GMT
    I discovered porn mags before I was in school. I didn't really know what I was looking at but... I was only interested in the photos that had guys with the girls. Over time I realized that I only cared about the guys - everything else was just decor.
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    Dec 23, 2012 5:22 PM GMT
    Well I had signs when I was around five or six when I was aroused by the big monsters in Space Jam.

    But when I was around twelve I discovered porn and it became increasingly gay as time went on, lol. It also didn't help that I went to charter middle school out in the boonies and it was a mostly all boy school. So many toned little redneck boys, so little time. I remember that when they used to bully me its when I first started learning how to convert pleasure into pain. I remember one time they started pantsing people and I was really hoping they'd pick me. Another time a few bullies pinned me down. It took a few of them since I was like 5'6 in the seventh grade. But anyway I remember really liking it. I left the situation and in my I and they were in a place somewhere far away. Somewhere sexier, lol.

    I think that's what started my kink with liking being abused a bit during sex.
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    Dec 23, 2012 5:22 PM GMT
    It was 7th grade for me. I had no idea what the terms 'gay' or 'straight' were, and there was a girl who tricked me asking if I was straight. When I asked her what that meant, she said it meant that I would not kiss girls before marriage. I said, "No, I'm not straight."

    It became a laughing joke for the remainder of the year, and I went home and google searched "straight kiss." When all of the different pictures came up, there was a picture with two men kiss, next to a straight couple kissing - the men caught my attention more and I did some more 'research' and discovered it that way.
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Dec 23, 2012 5:33 PM GMT
    I knew by about 8 years old that I was attracted to men rather than women. It was about the point at which I got the ability to get an erection. It decades of transitioning to accept this fact and love myself just the way God created me.
  • Kel_

    Posts: 1360

    Dec 23, 2012 5:34 PM GMT
    Closest I could relate.
    (replace cheerleader into a guy)

    funny-gif-kid-looking-pretty-girl.gif
  • Angelix90

    Posts: 267

    Dec 23, 2012 5:53 PM GMT
    I realised I was different from other kids at the age of 5 or 6. When I was bored, I would fantasise about Superman saving me from the villains and flying me off to the horizon instead of that stupid bitch. As time went by, Superman's outfit got less cladded. I didn't know I was attracted to him, I just assumed I really really liked Superman and his bulging red underwear.

    When I was 13, we finally had Internet. It was the "eureka" moment for me to find out the real meaning of "gay", "homo", "sex" and etc. After that, I started to download gay porns. I would wait anxiously for the download to complete and beat my meat furiously afterwards. When it was all over, I felt ashamed and dirty. I would quickly delete the porn file and vowed never to view it again. It never lasted long. The vicious cycle would continue until I was 17.

    I came out to myself when I was too lazy to redownload porns over and over again. We had really lousy connection.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Dec 23, 2012 5:58 PM GMT
    I knew early, pre-k I think. I remember playing hide and seek with my best friend and some others. My friend and I hid in a cabinet together and I was pressed up against him. I ran my hand through his blond buzz cut and I was sexually turned on so strongly that I can still remember the feeling to this day. I also knew somehow that I shouldn't feel that way and that I needed to keep it a secret. I still lust for buzzed blonds!
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    Dec 23, 2012 6:20 PM GMT
    I never even knew what gay was till sometime after I entered high school. Looking back, I was aroused by the sight of men with minimal clothing at the age of 10. After finding gay porn, I still didn't put two and two together till a couple of months later.

    A paraphrase of my first thought after finding gay porn
    "Wow, so I'm not the first man to have wanted to suck another mans cock."

    It was very obvious from an early age. I just wasn't good at putting the pices together.
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    Dec 23, 2012 6:28 PM GMT
    Definitely knew before Kindergarten... We (myself and two other boys the same age) found a "how to" sex book (with very explicit photographs) under one of their parents bed... and we'd go up in our tree-house in the woods with that book, and act out all the scenes... at 4 years old.. So, I was receiving/giving head since I was 4 years old... anal? Well, I was the giver... for some reason I (in my little kid head/thought process) thought that because my Mom always taught us "it's better to give than receive," I'd be the nice one and "give!" (Really true, not facetious..).. This sexual behavior, with my buddy, continued all through High School and College.. The other guys family moved out of state but, when we'd go for a visit, WoW!!!! It was ON..!!!
    As for the term "gay?" Had no clue nor had ever heard of it...... I've always considered these things completely normal...natural and have never had any hangups.. I just thought it was something no one talked about... Of course, too, I also thought EVERYONE did them when I was in elementary school (I did, however, learn that wasn't the case).... I also thought that you still got married and had kids... I truly believed that sucking cock was just a fun, "something good bud's did to show they REALLY liked each other and make each other feel GREAT!!!" LMAO....icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 23, 2012 6:44 PM GMT
    I remember it quite well, actually. I was 11/12 and I was by a friend, the movie he rented for us to watch was Scary Movie 2. They had the jacking off scene, and I had no idea what that was. So I go back home and I decide to try it, it feels good and the first thought that came into my mind was the guy from the show. That was the first time I ever thought about guys in a sexual way.
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    Dec 23, 2012 6:49 PM GMT
    RoccoO saidDefinitely knew before Kindergarten... We (myself and two other boys the same age) found a "how to" sex book (with very explicit photographs) under one of their parents bed... and we'd go up in our tree-house in the woods with that book, and act out all the scenes... at 4 years old.. So, I was receiving/giving head since I was 4 years old... anal? Well, I was the giver... for some reason I (in my little kid head/thought process) thought that because my Mom always taught us "it's better to give than receive," I'd be the nice one and "give!" (Really true, not facetious..).. This sexual behavior, with my buddy, continued all through High School and College.. The other guys family moved out of state but, when we'd go for a visit, WoW!!!! It was ON..!!!
    As for the term "gay?" Had no clue nor had ever heard of it...... I've always considered these things completely normal...natural and have never had any hangups.. I just thought it was something no one talked about... Of course, too, I also thought EVERYONE did them when I was in elementary school (I did, however, learn that wasn't the case).... I also thought that you still got married and had kids... I truly believed that sucking cock was just a fun, "something good bud's did to show they REALLY liked each other and make each other feel GREAT!!!" LMAO....icon_lol.gif


    So you've been training all your life for this?
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    Dec 23, 2012 6:58 PM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    RoccoO said LMAO....icon_lol.gif


    So you've been training all your life for this?


    I'd say the "training" ended somewhere around the age of 12 years of age.. icon_twisted.gif
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    Dec 23, 2012 7:01 PM GMT
    i took the gay test.

    There's a penis and a vagina in a tent and´╗┐ it's on fire. Which do you save
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    Dec 23, 2012 7:04 PM GMT
    I think the question should say when did you come to terms with your sexuality. A lot of guys are in denial, they know that they are gay but they keep lying to themselves. I knew I was gay when I reached puberty, I never had any problem accepting it.