Dumped for the Holidays

  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Dec 23, 2012 11:56 PM GMT
    Well, after a year and a half I think my relationship is over and just in time for me to get to spend Christmas alone!!!


    My boyfriend and I got in a little argument yesterday over something stupid and things escalated (he isn't really good at arguing and tends to just bring up anything and everything instead of debating the actual issue). He eventually said I should just leave and said he was planning on breaking up with me after new years because our lives are going in different directions. (His job is ending in May and he is looking to move back to the Bay area by his family.) I said that I didn't really want to spend the holidays with somebody who was planning on dumping me anyways so we should just call it quits now.

    I then went over to a friends and he took me out for drinks and we talked it over. I still love my boyfriend, but if there is an end date in the future it seems sort of pointless to continue dating when I could spend the next five months healing from the relationship and looking for my future husband. I did text him and asked him if I could come over and talk (my friend lives just about a mile from him) and he said he had already gotten in the car and was driving up to his family's place (about 7 hours away). I was really mad because he didn't even plan on trying to work things out he just left and left me alone on Christmas since my family is all on the east coast and I decided to save some money by visiting them in a few weeks instead of paying crazy money for holiday flights.

    I don't really know what sort of advice to expect, but I needed to say something and most of my friends are all gone home for Christmas already including my roommates so I guess I'll just try and have myself a merry little Christmas alone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2012 3:05 AM GMT
    It sounds like a crappy situation. If your bf doesn't want to be with you, you'll find someone else who will.

    There are many others like yourself who are spending Christmas by themselves. So I say, use this opportunity go out there and make new friends. Life's too short to sit at home and feel sorry for yourself the whole time (that's just not very productive).

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    Dec 24, 2012 3:18 AM GMT
    Trust me you are not alone. 90% of gay community is single.
  • thatirishbast...

    Posts: 3523

    Dec 24, 2012 3:25 AM GMT
    Being single for the holidays only sucks if you believe it will be.

    Go out, see friends, bake cookies, go to the bar, get drunk, sing bad Christmas songs, flirt with the straight girls, slut it up (however you define this) and treat yourself to something new and shiny.

    You've got a whole New Year to find new love or redefine the old. Don't waste the rest of 2012 on what's coming to you in the future either way.
  • mmnt

    Posts: 69

    Dec 24, 2012 3:33 AM GMT
    whatever3009 saidTrust me you are not alone. 90% of gay community is single.


    that is shocking but I believe so. I'm the statistic ... :-).
  • Angelix90

    Posts: 267

    Dec 24, 2012 3:35 AM GMT
    whatever3009 saidTrust me you are not alone. 90% of gay community is single.


    67% of the statistic is made up.

    Anyway, you should really talk to him. It feels like you don't want the relationship to end. Tell him how you feel and sort everything out from there onwards. It doesn't matter whether you guys will end up back together or breaking up, at least no one is left hanging about the possibilities.
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    Dec 24, 2012 3:48 AM GMT
    Fuck him.Merrry Christmas! Ryan
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    Dec 24, 2012 3:59 AM GMT
    Sorry to hear about it. You are right to not want to stay with someone until the New Year. Start out fresh. You will find love again.
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    Dec 24, 2012 4:04 AM GMT
    Aweeeee dude Im really sorry to here that......something similar happened to me...After 15 months me and my boyfriend broke up last saturday....Your bf sounds just like mine in the sense that he loves to argue lol...well during the last couple of weeks he was really distant....i honestly dont know why Ive always tried to be there for him and show him that he meant the whole world to me but he still walked away and refused to fight for our relationship.... he blamed it all on the fact that he recently went through a real rough time with his job and friends and the whole idea of moving to Texas next year...he planned on breaking up with me after Christmas...I ended it tho your right there is no point to continue with a relationship that has a set date to end...its best to be smile at the good memories you had with him...we will both be healing this Christmas
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    Dec 24, 2012 4:11 AM GMT
    Mike25T saidAweeeee dude Im really sorry to here that......something similar happened to me...After 15 months me and my boyfriend broke up last saturday....Your bf sounds just like mine in the sense that he loves to argue lol...well during the last couple of weeks he was really distant....i honestly dont know why Ive always tried to be there for him and show him that he meant the whole world to me but he still walked away and refused to fight for our relationship.... he blamed it all on the fact that he recently went through a real rough time with his job and friends and the whole idea of moving to Texas next year...he planned on breaking up with me after Christmas...I ended it tho your right there is no point to continue with a relationship that has a set date to end...its best to be smile at the good memories you had with him...we will both be healing this Christmas


    You're boyfriend sounds like a dick, and not even a good dick, a small severely curved one with ED. Be happy to be free! icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2012 4:38 AM GMT
    -DEKIRUMAN

    Hahaha well to me he was the most amazing guy ever
    but oh well Life moves on there are over 6 billion people in the world why let 1 ruin your life
  • njp729

    Posts: 10

    Dec 24, 2012 4:44 AM GMT
    Agree with all the other guys. Just take this as a sign that things will only go up in 2013. Sometimes people just need to go their own ways.

    Don't think about the next few days as time alone - think of it as time of freedom. You're in LA - there's enough to do. Go running. Go driving. Go drinking. You're single again! It will be fun.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 24, 2012 4:46 AM GMT
    Absolutely agree.. view it as a positive.. really. Make 2013 your year .
    Best wishes for a happy holiday season....
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    Dec 24, 2012 4:53 AM GMT
    I'm sorry, man. That sucks. I don't have any advice. Just *Hugs
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    Dec 24, 2012 4:56 AM GMT
    In the spirit of the season, why not give BOTH of you a second chance?

    You guys need to sit down afer the holidays are over and takl honestly about what has -- and what has not -- been happening between you two.

    Holiday stess and relationships don't always mix well, so give yourselves a cooling off period, then see if the relationship is repairable.
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    Dec 24, 2012 4:59 AM GMT
    That's a bummer for sure. I got dumped on just before last New Year's and it isn't fun. Best thing you can do is realize that you've got a great future ahead of you so dust yourself off and get out there, whether volunteering or partying, you'll be better off in the long run.
    Holiday hugs to tide you over icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 24, 2012 5:02 AM GMT
    Sounds like the guy doesn't even care about you... It's tough to move on when you still love the guy, but I think he made the decision without giving you a chance. He doesn't sound like he respects you much. A guy like that is not worth it. Take it from someone who tried to make it work with his boyfriend (at the time), who didn't want to spend time with him on his birthday.
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    Dec 24, 2012 5:23 AM GMT
    jackthejock said

    I don't really know what sort of advice to expect, but I needed to say something and most of my friends are all gone home for Christmas already including my roommates so I guess I'll just try and have myself a merry little Christmas alone.


    I know exactly how you feel. I'm there with you.
    I have no advice for you either, just Good wishes and Hugs.
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    Dec 24, 2012 5:30 AM GMT
    You survived the End of the World so you can survive this. I can imagine it being really sucky since it is the holidays and its family eccentric. Just be with friends, do what you enjoy and focus on the upcoming year.

    The guy lost his chance when he headed out of town before wanting to talk. That is your answer.
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    Dec 24, 2012 5:32 AM GMT
    Angelix90 said
    whatever3009 saidTrust me you are not alone. 90% of gay community is single.


    67% of the statistic is made up.



    Well yeah but 89% of that 67% is actually just 12% of the actual 90%....but only if you consider that a mere 2% were lying within that 67%. It's true, I heard from a reliable source. Well, the brother of the hairstylist of a reliable source.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 24, 2012 5:33 AM GMT
    waterloonicetop saidYou could cruise the chinese restaurants and find a hot jewish boy.


    He'll just be horny again 2 hours later.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Dec 24, 2012 5:55 AM GMT
    Listen...He told ya straight out he was gunna dump ya after the holidays...Sounds like you were flying that plane alone for awhile without actually realizing it....Count your blessings you found out before investing years of work building a future with this asshole...Sad you're alone for the holidays?...Next year at this time this will only be a memory....All the best man
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    Dec 24, 2012 6:04 AM GMT
    njp729 saidGo driving. Go drinking.


    Sorry but the po-pos are waiting around like hungry hyenas this holiday, to catch unsuspecting tourists minding their business after having a couple drinks or so.
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    Dec 24, 2012 6:05 AM GMT
    That breaks my heart and it didn't even happen to me. I am sorry to hear that. I would definitely invite you to spend Christmas with us if I were in your area. I spent a Christmas away from my family once and, while difficult, I survived. I like Aristoshark's idea. Find something productive to do with your time. Volunteering is a great way to do some good (and pass some time) for the holidays. And you will definitely meet some great people while volunteering!

    As for your BF (ex-BF?), he sounds like a bit of a doucher... Sorry, had to be said. The fact he just up and left means he may probably doesn't love you as much as you might think. Even when I am completely and utterly disgusted about something with a BF or a sibling or a friend, I still like to know they are ok... Because even when they are at their worst of worsts, I still love them.

    DEFINITELY have a talk with him and TRY to sort things out. I am basing everything I say on the brief story you told from your perspective... so don't make any life decisions based on this, but know that I do wish you luck regardless.

    Merry Christmas either way!!!
  • squally

    Posts: 180

    Dec 24, 2012 6:10 AM GMT
    I know this might sound kind of weird, but CONGRATULATIONS icon_biggrin.gif
    Start the end of your 2012 and the beginning of your 2013 with a fresh new start without a ticking time bomb.

    Spending your Christmas alone is not the end of the world. This is the best time to look forward to what kind of "husband" you actually want. Being single during the holidays is the new being single during the summer time. Lots of opportunities to meet new people and have a little fun.

    You deserve better and I believe 2013 will be brighter and happier without a planned breakup

    Happy holidays!