EastBayGuy saidPretty sure straight people, especially straight guys, watch as much porn as gay men. Is there a study showing that gay men spend significantly more time watching porn?
I think a lot of the problems gay men face when trying to date or form a relationship can be explained evolutionarily: women have to invest more resources into a relationship and offspring, whereas men can pass on the greatest amount of genes by having sex with as many women as possible. Therefore, it is in the woman's best interest to find and stick with a suitable mate. Since this mechanism is not present in a male-male gay relationship, gay relationships tend to be less stable. I'm not saying that all gay men just want to have sex with other men and cannot settle down, but we cannot ignore our evolutionary histories when answering a question like this.
Agree. This is an answer I've commonly given to this question in the past.
Of my 4 longest relationships, 2 failed because the BFs were cheating, and then declared they would never be monogamous. And they were rather slutty, even more than me. I can be slutty when single, but turn monogamous when married. Although from their perspective I'm sure they though that the problem was with me, for not accepting an open relationship. And that's something I believe most straight couple do not practice, to my unscientific personal observation, more a gay phenomenon.
But my other 2 LTRs developed into monogamous partnerships. It took his unexpected death to end the first one, and I had never been so in love in my life. And yet we watched porn together, had sex with it as a background, so that part of the OP's assumptions would be incorrect for us. Rather than disrupting our love life, porn made it hotter.
I'm now approaching 6 years with my current partner. And we're spending Christmas in New England with 2 other gay couples. It's a joy and an inspiration to watch the loving interaction these men have, a good example for me to improve the relationship with my own husband (one of the couples is legally married, together nearly 30 years and truly husbands).
So I dunno how valid the premise of the OP is. Maybe it's a generational thing, with young men one way, and older men like us another. Meaning both answers are correct. But I do like the answer I have with my partner today, and I doubt porn will dull my love for him, nor interest in outside sex seduce me away (insofar as old men still practice it).