"Jocks in love with nonjocks"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 26, 2007 1:44 AM GMT
    Heheh - so I'm killing time (husband on call again) and I stumbled onto this series of clips on Youtube (the biggest time suck ever!).

    Part 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEkReMviIpA
    Part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2HZyLMhR_k

    It got me to thinking - the other half rarely goes out to do stuff and when he does, we seem to be at different levels. I'm willing to deal with that but he doesn't seem to keen on picking up something new (like squash - there are courts where we live). Even his father chastised him for not going out to play golf with me!

    Anyone else in a similar situation?

    PS, I SO do not consider myself a jock - it's just the title of the video clips.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11648

    Aug 26, 2007 12:48 PM GMT
    People come in tow with their own attributes
    ..if your BF is a jock and you're not he obviously found something else in you attractive
    don't fall into the hole that says the two of you have to be exactly the same
    ...but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to like some of the things that he likes and visa versa
    go bike riding with him
    or running if you like but you don't have to turn into a pseudo-jock for his sake
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    Aug 26, 2007 3:41 PM GMT
    My man hates anything even approaching exercise. I used to drag him to the gym, but he'd just sort of mess about for about ten minutes and then be bored and whine at me, so now I just go by myself and let him do his own thing.
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    Aug 26, 2007 3:47 PM GMT
    GQ - it's the other way around actually. I was merely saying that I would find it presumptuous of me to assume the label "jock." Hell, I even have trouble with the word athlete. I haven't been in any races or anything in some time (part-time business school/full-time work can put a real cramp on things!).

    And yeah, colm, it's kinda the same thing. When we have gone to the gym, he does his thing in about 30 minutes and then he's ready to split and I'm just getting going....
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    Aug 26, 2007 3:50 PM GMT
    We think it's healthy to do a few things separately - I think it's when you find yourselves with only a few conscious hours per day together that there's an issue. So I guess it's finding that balance of having time apart and finding activities that you both enjoy.

    PS: I understand anyone refusing to play golf. Booooring! hehe.
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    Aug 26, 2007 7:58 PM GMT
    I think it can be very difficult especially when the other one could REALLY use the exercise....
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Aug 26, 2007 8:24 PM GMT
    I told my man I wanted him to have a six pack. Just messing with him. Although I would love if he had, but it is not a requirement :-) Every now and then he works really hard at the gym trying to get the six pack. I love him for that.

    Maybe he just needs a bit of encouragement. Don't be too pushy with him.

    Mike
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    Aug 26, 2007 8:29 PM GMT
    I'm primarily (although not exclusively) attracted to skinny pretty-boys. So there are things that I can do (and like to do) that he can't... but the same goes in reverse, too.

    As another commentor noted, its healthy to have separate interests (in addition to common ones) in a relationship.
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    Aug 26, 2007 9:32 PM GMT
    In my former relationship, my ex liked nothing better than putting a 50 lbs pack on his back and go hiking for 5 days straight. I like hiking too, but given my back, I'm miserable if I sleep on the ground, so I like day hikes. I found that he figured that I didn't like to hike, as I didn't like the amount of hiking he did. Sometimes it can just be an issue of degrees.
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Aug 27, 2007 1:58 AM GMT
    I have a few friends who have jock/nonjock relationships and it seems to be going really good for them. I think I would rather be with someone who shared my interests!
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    Aug 27, 2007 8:20 AM GMT
    Luckily as far as athletic activities are concerned, my husband and I see eye-to-eye. It's in the other areas that we sometimes differ. He's not too big a fan of sci-fi, while I on the other hand am obsessed with it. LOL

    It's all just a matter of being able to understand one another's differences and learn to cherish them. You don't have to change who you are to make him happy, and neither does he. Besides, one person being off doing something they love should be enough of a drive for the other to want to enjoy it with them, just so they can enjoy it together.

    Sometimes things you didn't think you'd like can be enjoyable if you do them with your significant other. (Monday Night Football still eludes me on this end... watching sports is just something I can't bring myself to do, but I'm happy to read a book with my head on his lap while he watches it)
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    Aug 27, 2007 12:23 PM GMT
    Heheh - yeah, he indulges my sports watching. When the Pats won their first superbowl, he even drove with me into town (we still lived in Boston at the time) for all the insanity.

    We get on doing plenty of other things and he's no slouch. And I have to cut him plenty of slack at the moment - first year of residency is a little bit brutal.

    I guess what's really frustrating is he's "almost there." We'll do stuff together but I like to go just that extra bit of intensity. It also finally dawned on me that part of my issue is that we're in a new town and I have yet to find people to go out and do stuff with while he's stuck in the hospital. I think once I find a few guys to 'hang with' it'll be all good.

    Thanks for all the perspectives! Hopefully I won't succumb to desperate housewife syndrome!
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    Aug 27, 2007 1:49 PM GMT

    My partner and I are both ex Army types and very fitness oriented, very competitive, and driven.

    We don't nesc like the same things though: I love swimming, he doesn't; he loves running, I don't; he loves Manchester United, I didn't know who they were; I am a huge Baseball Fan (Boston); he is usually asleep by the second inning. He loves gardening, I can't stand it; I love cooking, he can't boil an egg without burning it.

    ETC.

    It is the differences that make us more interesting to each other; mthings would be VERY boring if every one were the same.

    Rob
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Aug 27, 2007 11:57 PM GMT
    Compromize at times, but enjoy attonomy and hey you always have friends to do things with that your significant other may not enjoy or may not be good at!! You're allowed to have friends right? If not good time to go! IMO!!

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Aug 30, 2007 2:08 AM GMT
    Like a lot of people have said, I too think it's healthy to have independent interests. That said, I'd try anything my partner wanted to, within reason. ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2007 4:49 AM GMT
    Ok, so i cant help that i find myself falling for the jocktype. At first i was very worried about us having separate interest, friends, ect. To a degree, from my experience, these differences have only enriched the relationships i have had thus far. it was our differences that sometimes were our greatest appeal to one another....and sometimes our greatest ANNOYANCES. Lots of times what has ultimately determined the success or failure of my relationships has been determination. Deciding we would be commited even on days that i dont want him with in a mile of me. as for me, JOCKS ROCK...as cliche as it sounds.