UPDATE: Take it like a man...

  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Dec 27, 2012 1:33 PM GMT
    Updated on the second page for those who asked icon_smile.gif

    So I've been seeing this guy and things are going great. Smart, funny, incredibly sexy. I hit the jackpot. Saturday night we made plans to see a movie and then go back to my place and sleep in Sunday morning. Last night we were texting, and then began sexting and then he brought up that we should flip Saturday night.

    So here's the thing. I havnt topped someone in about 4 years, and I've never bottomed before (he knows both of these facts). I've always been insanely curious to bottom and actually 9 out of 10 times when I'm jerking off I fantasize about being fucked. Now that it's actually most likely gonna happen, I'm freaking out about it. Is this normal? I afraid something might happen or I might do something stupid to embarrass myself.

    Any advice or pointers? I think I'm just nervous cause I havnt had sex in forever, but throw bottoming into the mix and now I'm a basket case haha.

    Thanks guys, hope you all had a good Christmas!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 2:43 PM GMT
    Only thing you can do is relax and enjoy the moment. Make sure you have plenty of good lubrication. If it happens great, if not don't bother too much, it takes time and he should understand that fact.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 27, 2012 2:44 PM GMT
    Since he knows this is new to you, he will likely understand your nervousness and take it slowly. It doesn't always feel good the first time, if you don't know how to relax. If it hurts, you just have to enjoy the pain, haha. Considering your fantasy is to bottom, you'll probably love it more than you can imagine.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 3:06 PM GMT
    Get that ass in the air lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 3:11 PM GMT
    Don't do it mancrush! You're mine! icon_eek.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:36 PM GMT
    I don't get why guys get nervous during sex... I'm always a little bit nervous before, but when it starts happening, I go with the flow and everything is gravy from there.

    I actually bottomed for the first time in a LONG time 2 weeks ago. It hurt at first, but if you take it slow, use a lot of lube, and get used to it first, it's actually pretty hot.

    Don't stress out about it, because in reality... you have the power to say no if you don't like it. If the guy likes you, he'll respect that and you can try another time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:40 PM GMT
    er ouch
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:44 PM GMT
    Relax and take the evening naturally. Don'tt put expectations on yourself or your friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:45 PM GMT
    Noob question... Once an ass gets broken in and then hasn't been used in a while, does it tighten back a bit? Or is it like a pussy that becomes loose overtime from use?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:47 PM GMT
    I believe that nervousness, in anticipation, is a good thing... use it to your advantage; start to use your imagination and fantasies to anticipate the actual time you'll have together.. this should help out much...

    as an added note to anyone:

    What's the best lube and brand?... preferably one that doesn't get all sticky and tacky after a few minutes.. (sticky and tacky is a huge turn off for me and it is sorta - a real "gross out" thing and gives me the "heebie jeebies!!!!" Needless to say, can't use oil based with condoms..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 4:52 PM GMT
    huhwhat saidNow, bottoming for the first time usually doesn't just happen when you snap your fingers. It starts with the desire to bottom.


    I agree. And if / when the desire to bottom arises, you and your lover will know. Relax and be yourselves and let your experiences flow into what they may. I had always bottomed because that's where my desire led me. But, after topping a couple of times, the "flip" wins hands down (or heels up). Have fun, but be peaceful, and let the flowers bloom in their own time.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Dec 27, 2012 5:00 PM GMT
    Just have fun and remember It ain't good sex if at some point you don't break out laughing. But, yes, try Wet Platinum. And if you're concerned, get some of those premixed douches in the ladies aisle and clean a couple of hours ahead (though this truly isn't necessary-- though anything that gives piece of mind helps).
  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Dec 27, 2012 5:12 PM GMT

    thanks everyone for all the feedback! It's funny, I always said in order for me to bottom I would need to be with a guy who was bigger than me, cause I'm usually more dominate than submissive. But a guy thats bigger than me would put me in the right mindset. This guy is 6 foot 2, 190lbs of pure muscle, so visually hes actually how I would want my top to look.

    I text him earlier and told him i was nervous about Saturday. I said I like him and I dont wanna mess anything up. He told me it was sweet of me to think that, but wanted me to promise I wont overthink anything. He said its going to be fun if it feels good for the both of us. and if he feels good we will keep going, if it doesnt. we dont.

    I actually read a book about bottoming that gave me a lot of good pointers. So im going to apply them on saturday.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 5:21 PM GMT
    Do a power cleanse on your butthole beforehand, arch your back, spread your asscheeks, give him a good show... and you'll have zero to worry about!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 5:23 PM GMT
    Don't pig out at the "all you can eat" Mexican buffet the night before....icon_eek.gif
  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Dec 27, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    I actually have one of those water cleansers. I make sure I use it before I pick him up for the movie.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 5:44 PM GMT
    HPgeek934 saidI actually have one of those water cleansers. I make sure I use it before I pick him up for the movie.


    You're all set & ready to go then... best of luck. You should come back and give us the 411 afterward. Haha.
  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Dec 27, 2012 5:45 PM GMT
    eraserhead said
    HPgeek934 saidI actually have one of those water cleansers. I make sure I use it before I pick him up for the movie.


    You're all set & ready to go then... best of luck. You should come back and give us the 411 afterward. Haha.


    I absolutely will! I have already conquered quite a few firsts with him in the bedroom, so here's hoping this one goes as smoothly as the others.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 6:34 PM GMT
    May i suggest...
    If you are afraid that it hurt, ask him to begin with one finger, to get used to the feeling. Than two fingers to help expanding your hole, and if he knows about it, he'll easily find how to excite you by touching your prostate, that's fun... You will relax that way.
    Then you will be able to accept his gift into your body!!!
    Have fun, but take your time to enjoy every minute of it!
    And remember as already said, lube lube lube...
    ;-)
  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Dec 27, 2012 7:46 PM GMT
    I'm getting turned on thinking about it. I guess that's a good thing!

    My ultimate fantasy is to get pounded gang bang style in a gym locker room after all the guys just had an intense workout. Maybe ill tell him to go to the gym before he comes over haha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 7:52 PM GMT
    aidenMaximus saidNoob question... Once an ass gets broken in and then hasn't been used in a while, does it tighten back a bit? Or is it like a pussy that becomes loose overtime from use?

    Yes it tightens if you won't have sex for a while thats what I have heard from my ex.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Dec 27, 2012 8:00 PM GMT
    HPgeek934 said

    Any advice or pointers? I think I'm just nervous cause I havnt had sex in forever

    You think we will believe that?

    Don't overthink it - let what happens happen. Besides the advice on lube and douche, maybe try playing with toys by yourself first.
  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Dec 27, 2012 8:04 PM GMT
    Suetonius said
    HPgeek934 said

    Any advice or pointers? I think I'm just nervous cause I havnt had sex in forever

    You think we will believe that?


    Believe what?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2012 8:09 PM GMT
    Find somebody to loosen your hole on Friday night.
  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Dec 27, 2012 8:17 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidFind somebody to loosen your hole on Friday night.


    Thought about that in the past, but I can't do that. Not a one night stand kinda guy.