Anyone get written out of a will because you were gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2012 10:50 PM GMT
    I guess this for those that were disowned from a family too. Just wondering how many others have gone through this. About 20 years ago when my parents were discovering that I was into guys, a living trust was drawn up around that time....where my younger sister pretty was due to get everything. Not that I was expecting anything since most goes to the surviving spouse first. I was just hurt as well as my older siblings even though they are well off now anyway. I presume much of the problem is that I have a step mother, and so my step sister is her only real daughter. But she is the only mother I've known.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 27, 2012 11:21 PM GMT
    I imagine that's a horrible feeling to have following you. Sorry to hear about it. I think you need to focus on your life, and not on your stepmom. If money is important to you, then try to make a bunch of it. Either way, don't let a twenty year old mistake hold you back.
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    Dec 27, 2012 11:45 PM GMT
    I think that's fairly common in the case of step-mom's. They can be pretty ruthless. I have cousins on both sides of the family who were pretty much disowned when wife #2 came along. #2 got rid of every trace of #1, including any kids that might compete with her own. They don't even have a photograph of their mother.
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    Dec 28, 2012 1:15 AM GMT
    No, my money was taken by the people who were supposed to be taking care of me and my siblings. So long Trust Acct. I learned to live well enough without pursuing the trappings of money anyhow.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Dec 28, 2012 1:20 AM GMT
    Sorry to hear of your situation. Sounds like your father did not reconcile with you, or if he had reconciled, he had bad legal advice. I'm sure it is not uncommon with old fashioned families. Like Mindgarden said, it is very common for children of a first marriage to be totally left out financially after the father dies. Financially well off men (who usually have all the $) generally are advised (for tax reasons) to leave their estate in 2 trusts - one half to the wife, and the other to a trust she controls. IF the husband really loved his second wife, he is less likely to put controls on what she can do with the money in the second trust - so often (and the man usually dies first) she gets to decide whether to allocate any of the second trust money to just her kids or to kids of the prior wife. Most step mothers prefer their flesh and blood children. This rarely happens in very wealthy families, however, because the idea is to pass the $ on to the children and grandchildren, and the custom is not to let the wife have total control of the second half of the property after her death, it being designated for "descendants."
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    Dec 28, 2012 1:52 AM GMT
    Try to look at it this way... during those times, things were very, very different. If they had been around today they likely would have thought and acted differently.
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    Dec 28, 2012 1:52 AM GMT
    People can do whatever they want with their money. Which is fine because any normal functioning independent person should make their own living and be in control of their own future.
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    Dec 28, 2012 1:59 AM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    Narciso saidPeople can do whatever they want with their money. Which is fine because any normal functioning independent person should make their own living and be in control of their own future.

    If I understand this correctly, I think you just said you want to sit on my face.


    Get a close shave first, prickly beard hairs chafe down there icon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2012 2:04 AM GMT
    Gonna need that Payday Loan now. icon_confused.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 28, 2012 2:05 AM GMT
    My deeply religious, conservative, perfectionist, "emotion challenged" Father passed away early, less than one year after early retirement, before his eldest son (me) "figured things out".

    If I hadn't been a "Late Bloomer", I suspect he may have "cut me out" of the will, favoring my "next to" brother, who was always Dad's favorite son....in spite of all his fuck ups in life and not accepting any of the responsibilities that were heaped on me.

    But the joke's on the other kids! Dad changed his will right before the cancer got him, changing it to a "Honey Dew" will, leaving it all to my mother.

    And her eldest son (me) is clearly her favorite, the executor of her estate, with power-of-attorney and signature privilege on all her current financial accounts.

    (NOT that I am in ANY hurry for that financial windfall! Unlike my parent's other "ankle biters", I have been financially self-supporting for decades and have a job that provides for excellent retirement benefits.)

    I've seen her will....the other siblings will NOT be happy.
  • BTBruce

    Posts: 32

    Dec 28, 2012 2:07 AM GMT
    Your profile states you're 43. I guess I don't understand why you'd think you should be entitled to anyone else's property. Anyone who isn't a minor, should be reliant on themselves only and not banking on what someone should be leaving them in their will. Value your family / friends ... not the material things they own.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Dec 28, 2012 2:07 AM GMT
    Narciso said
    Aristoshark said
    Narciso saidPeople can do whatever they want with their money. Which is fine because any normal functioning independent person should make their own living and be in control of their own future.

    If I understand this correctly, I think you just said you want to sit on my face.


    Get a close shave first, prickly beard hairs chafe down there icon_redface.gif


    i prefer sitting on facial hair
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2012 2:09 AM GMT
    My parents have nothing, so it's not a problem for me, though if I did it would be scene from Dynasty with my brother
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2012 2:11 AM GMT
    calibro said
    i prefer sitting on facial hair


    Only if it's grown out a bit icon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2012 2:12 AM GMT
    Narciso said
    calibro said
    i prefer sitting on facial hair


    Only if it's grown out a bit icon_idea.gif


    Omg this sounds like some gay site icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2012 2:43 AM GMT
    Roguewave said
    Narciso said
    calibro said
    i prefer sitting on facial hair


    Only if it's grown out a bit icon_idea.gif


    Omg this sounds like some gay site icon_eek.gif


    No homo bro, just a naked nude squatting over his bud's probing tongue.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2012 2:45 AM GMT
    I think I've been, but my dad is too cowardly to fess up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2012 2:50 AM GMT
    NO but if that were true, if i found my mom or dad in a pool of blood at the bttm of a staircase I would say.."oooops" and walk away.That is Ryan talkin just for clarification.icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2012 2:56 AM GMT
    Narciso said
    Roguewave said
    Narciso said
    calibro said
    i prefer sitting on facial hair


    Only if it's grown out a bit icon_idea.gif


    Omg this sounds like some gay site icon_eek.gif


    No homo bro, just a naked nude squatting over his bud's probing tongue.

    Sweet! Where do I sign up?
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Dec 28, 2012 3:22 AM GMT
    Narciso said
    Roguewave said
    Narciso said
    calibro said
    i prefer sitting on facial hair


    Only if it's grown out a bit icon_idea.gif


    Omg this sounds like some gay site icon_eek.gif


    No homo bro, just a naked nude squatting over his bud's probing tongue.


    tumblr_mcp6h2bzZK1qjtvq2o1_500.gif
  • TheIStrat

    Posts: 777

    Dec 28, 2012 3:59 AM GMT
    calibro said
    Narciso said
    Roguewave said
    Narciso said
    calibro said
    i prefer sitting on facial hair


    Only if it's grown out a bit icon_idea.gif


    Omg this sounds like some gay site icon_eek.gif


    No homo bro, just a naked nude squatting over his bud's probing tongue.


    tumblr_mcp6h2bzZK1qjtvq2o1_500.gif


    Calibro, I told you never to share that gif of me icon_eek.gif
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Dec 28, 2012 3:59 AM GMT
    Is it wrong to be glad they're dead? lolz.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2012 4:03 AM GMT
    mindgarden saidI think that's fairly common in the case of step-mom's. They can be pretty ruthless. I have cousins on both sides of the family who were pretty much disowned when wife #2 came along. #2 got rid of every trace of #1, including any kids that might compete with her own. They don't even have a photograph of their mother.


    THIS!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2012 4:09 AM GMT
    BTBruce saidYour profile states you're 43. I guess I don't understand why you'd think you should be entitled to anyone else's property. Anyone who isn't a minor, should be reliant on themselves only and not banking on what someone should be leaving them in their will. Value your family / friends ... not the material things they own.


    Get real or get lost. Normal people (a) don't like to be cheated, (b) don't want sibs getting more than them, (c) don't like to be discriminated against 'cause their gay, and (d) don't need to have a parents death or divorce used against them.

    Congrats, fool, you get the award for least emphatic guy of 2012.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2012 4:48 AM GMT
    I was supposed to be given money of a friend who died. His family hadn't spoken to him in years, and were very homophobic.

    He didn't have a will, just a note that said what he wanted done with his property & money.

    They told me they would close his account and send me the money, repeatedly, always forgetting to do it. Then one day they said they were going to give it to a charity.

    They didn't in fact. They didn't even close the account. They didn't even want to have anything to do with his death. After 2 years I was able to do it myself, and it was a happy ending and a victory of mine and his. It was crazy how ugly the family got over a death.