Anniversaries, reunions and meeting new people.

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    Sep 19, 2008 12:51 AM GMT
    Saturday, 9-20-2008, will be the 60th anniversary of my college fraternity chapter (TKE). This is a significant milestone, as it will make my chapter the longest continuously operating chapter in the country....having never shut down or being kicked off campus, etc. The current active chapter and the alumni board are co-hosting a celebration at the chapter house in Akron. The house has been renovated and they are wanting to show-off the new sections added to the house, to go for more alumni donations, etc.... you know…..$$$$$!!
    I have not been back to my chapter in about 10 years and was an actual undergrad member, nearly 30 years ago. I thought that I had long ago closed that chapter of my life. Many things have happened to me since I was an "active" in the chapter and I am very different now from whom I was then. Biggest items that come to mind is that I came out of the closet, I have kids, I left town, I lost over 240 lbs, and I am smaller and more muscular now than I was then, just for starters!....... Many of my "brothers" are homophobes. Those that I have tried to keep in touch with, are about 50% homophobes. The new active members? I don't know them at all, so who knows? Hell, my oldest son is older than most of the guys that are actives in the chapter, so I am feeling a little OLD, "out of place" and a bit apprehensive/pensive about attending a "reunion"/anniversary.
    The main reason I want to go is that 5 of my "brothers", from the Columbus area have asked me directly to go with them. They all know me very well and want to drive up together and just party like we used to. I would love nothing more than to just go and be "one of the boys" again! Also this group of 5, want to go out to the gay bars with me in Akron or Cleveland, because the music is better, the bars are cleaner, and their wives won’t worry about them picking up another woman! LOL!!!
    I guess I am just a bit unsure about what to do if I am cornered by some of the homophobes. The joys of coming out never get "easy", even when you think you are as out as you can be, there is always that slight uncertainty and hesitation. I am going and wouldn't miss this opportunity and I understand this party isn't about "ME", but there will certainly be alot of people that knew me "way back when...." and many of them are alot more in touch with each other than I have been.....boys talk and gossip as bad or worse than women, so I know “the word” has gotten around. Not really sure what type of responses I am expecting from my fellow RJ posters, nor from my fraternity brothers this weekend. Just had to put my thoughts down someplace and let them go. Let me know if you have had a similar situation and how you handled it. Thanks…I gotta’ go to the gym and burn off some more energy!
    Sporty_G icon_lol.gif
  • VinBaltimore

    Posts: 239

    Sep 19, 2008 5:00 AM GMT
    My experience with my fraternity brothers has been nothing but positive so far. If your experience is anything like mine you won't be confronted by any homophobes. The guys that have a problem with it will, most likely, just avoid you. And I was pleased to find out a few others have come out since I left college -- seems there was a little man-on-man action at the old frat house -- don't know how I missed out. icon_sad.gif

    I actually brought my boyfriend/husband/whatever to our Alumni Christmas party a few years ago (I've been on an officer on the Alumni Advisory Board since I graduated). We were on our way to another event and it was just easier to drag him along. I was nervous too. But there were absolutely no problems. I think the "actives" were more comfortable with us than some of the alumni!

    I got an email today about Homecoming next month. I'm toying with the idea of bringing him with me again, but will probably go stag. I don't think it's really fun for him to sit there while I relive old times with people he doesn't know from a hole in the wall!

    Sounds like you've already got a core group of friends. Just go and enjoy yourself don't worry about the rest!