Recreational sex

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 28, 2012 10:21 PM GMT
    Are you open to the idea of recreational sex when you are in a long term relationship? The context is that it is mutual, and agreed upon. Would you ever consider this type of arrangement?

    By recreational sex (or hook-up), I am talking about an agreed upon arrangement where you or your partner is allowed to play with a third person, with no string attached, and no emotional connection. This is different from an affair where the third person bonds with you or your partner emotionally. So you still stay emotionally and socially monogamous, having only one recognized partner.

    I use "recreational sex" rather than "open relationship" since open relationships can mean a lot of things.

    Sexual monogamy (having sex with only one person) is socially constructed, I think, since most societies are not monogamous until the modern times, and many of them still aren't. Biologically, men have been evolve to "spread our seeds" far and wide.

    For those of you who has been constrained in a LTR (for more than 3 years), do you ever feel bored having sex with the same person? If you have a chance to have NSA sex with a third person (of your choice) would not in any way affect your existing LTR, would you do it?
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    Dec 28, 2012 10:24 PM GMT


    "For those of you who has been constrained in a LTR (for more than 3 years), do sex with the same person become bored to you? If you have a chance where recreational sex with a third person (of your choice) would not in any way affect your existing LTR, would you do it?"

    Nope, and nope. icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 28, 2012 10:33 PM GMT
    You must be new here.


    No need to explain everything. We know what you mean...icon_confused.gif
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    Dec 28, 2012 10:34 PM GMT
    Ehh... no. Sex is just sex I guess. I would much rather spend it with somebody I enjoy and have great moments to go along with it outside the bedroom.

    Recreational sex is something primal, and makes sense, but for me it would be like having sex with someone or something that doesn't have a soul or personality. Emptiness is the best way to describe it. Although it's okay if other people want to do it. I just would never want to be in a relationship that is a part of that.
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    Dec 28, 2012 10:41 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidAll sex must be procreational, or you're going to hell. That's why I always scream "MAKE me a BAAAAAABY" at the top of my lungs whenever I'm getting plowed, so God himself can hear me and knows my intention.


    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    I was going to explain to the OP that over the years Bill and I have had LOTS of recreational sex - with each other, but he's using 'recreational' to mean outside of the relationship.

    Oh well. *shrugs*
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    Dec 28, 2012 10:42 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidAll sex must be procreational, or you're going to hell. That's why I always scream "MAKE me a BAAAAAABY" at the top of my lungs whenever I'm getting plowed, so God himself can hear me and knows my intention.


    He does. Such a turn on. Makes all my wrigglers appear with extra vigour. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 28, 2012 10:45 PM GMT
    10 years ago, I would had said "Yes".

    Today, I say "NO".

    I have no desire to have "recreational sex" with someone that I am not mentally/emotionally bonding with,

    Today I fuck either the long term man in my life......or my left hand.




    icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 28, 2012 11:45 PM GMT
    I'm not a person who can have "recreational sex" in a relationship. If I had brought up the idea of recreational sex EVER in a LTR, it would mean that I'm bored of him.

    I think there's a difference between being bored and being bored of your partner.
    I don't think I would need to have sex with another person, whom I hardly know, if I already have this amazing connection with an awesome guy. Then I'd get both physical and emotional attraction in bed. If we get bored, we can always start going through my bucket list of "Places to have sex".
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    Dec 28, 2012 11:49 PM GMT
    rnch said10 years ago, I would had said "Yes".

    Today, I say "NO".

    I have no desire to have "recreational sex" with someone that I am not mentally/emotionally bonding with,

    Today I fuck either the long term man in my life......or my left hand.




    icon_lol.gif

    Fundamentally I hate to agree, but I do, I do agree with the statement.
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    Dec 28, 2012 11:57 PM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    intensity69 saidMakes all my wrigglers appear with extra vigour. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    Are+You+Sure.+Sperm+in+the+wrong+hole_ec


    fixed icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 29, 2012 8:52 AM GMT
    If I ever were in this situation, I'd do it with restrictions.

    If we were having sex while this recreational stuff was going on...maybe.
    If the other guy was also in a 'swinging relationship', maybe. I don't feel like a committed person should hookup with a single person for recreation. The single man could get hurt if the 'recreation' suddenly stops. Or he might try to 'take' my dude which would result in me taking both of their lives.

    If the BF was a bottom and getting fucked by another dude, HELL NO. I don't want to leave off on some guy who is probably double my size and feeling obvious looseness.

    What I couldn't do is be with someone who is giving it out to everyone else but me, despite being in a relationship. A friend of mine thought he could continue to do that whilst labeling me as his 'best friend' yet doing sleepovers together but talking about other dudes he hooked up with, but couldn't do it with me. Fuck mother fucker no...
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    Dec 29, 2012 1:06 PM GMT
    rnch said10 years ago, I would had said "Yes".

    Today, I say "NO".

    I have no desire to have "recreational sex" with someone that I am not mentally/emotionally bonding with,

    Today I fuck either the long term man in my life......or my left hand.




    icon_lol.gif


    Ditto! When I was younger (early 20's) I had a different date every week and it was a free-for-all turnstile fuckfest. And I didn't give a shit. As I got older, my feelings evolved and noticed how empty recreational sex is, not to mention harmful to both mind and body. My preference now is to be with the guy I care about the most while winning over temptation. It's quite worth it when you are with that one special guy. icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 29, 2012 1:16 PM GMT
    Recreational sex, recreational drugs, and recreational rock and roll.

    Yeah baby!

    4496701.jpg
  • StevieB0402

    Posts: 159

    Dec 29, 2012 5:49 PM GMT
    uberick saidAre you open to the idea of recreational sex when you are in a long term relationship? The context is that it is mutual, and agreed upon. Would you ever consider this type of arrangement?

    By recreational sex (or hook-up), I am talking about an agreed upon arrangement where you or your partner is allowed to play with a third person, with no string attached, and no emotional connection. This is different from an affair where the third person bonds with you or your partner emotionally. So you still stay emotionally and socially monogamous, having only one recognized partner.

    Sexual monogamy (having sex with only one person) is socially constructed, I think, since most societies are not monogamous until the modern times, and many of them still aren't. Biologically, men have been evolve to "spread our seeds" far and wide.

    For those of you who has been constrained in a LTR (for more than 3 years), do you ever feel bored having sex with the same person? If you have a chance to have NSA sex with a third person (of your choice) would not in any way affect your existing LTR, would you do it?


    Much as we might like to believe otherwise, there is no such thing as an emotion/connection free sexual encounter. A simple phrase like, "he's just a guy I fucked once" is full of derision. This person has been devalued to nothing more than a sexual conquest, a psychological reaction created to prevent the development of feelings that coincide with the sex act. Conversely, the phrase "we hooked up once but it was a one time thing since I'm involved with_____" also displays feelings about the situation, that we would like the hook up to happen again but can not because of the deal we made to not form any outside bonds. You can agree to have an emotionless experience and agree that it will be a one shot encounter, but you can't actually make yourself feel nothing. Emotions can be managed, not nullified.

    While no two orgasms are exactly the same, we have to ask ourselves; what is the attraction to sexual encounters outside of an LTR? Relief from boredom is not an answer. First of all there is the very real chance that your hook up may be unsatisfying. Second, if you want to spice up your sex life there are a multitude of informational publications that can help you do so, many of them available for free on the internet. Most reasons fall into 2 categories: ego and excitement. Ego because inherently we believe that the more people we have sex with, the more attractive we are. Acceptance is the opposite of rejection and when someone agrees to have NSA sex, they are telling our subconscious "I want you badly enough to agree to a sexual experience on your terms". We've all felt the excitement factor. Every new relationship is a discovery of the unknown. The first few months to a year are full of that passion we feel as we learn about our new partner. Traditions, beliefs, sexual activities, friends and family, celebrating our first holidays together, it's all so new and exciting. What do we do when that calms down? Some people choose to continually chase the excitement. But at it's core, this constant seeking of gratification is egocentric. It's all about what "I want". But true love isn't about "me" it's about "us". So no, I would not engage in NSA sex because it would affect my partner even if he never found out because it would affect me and the commitment I made. I am not constrained to my relationship because I choose it, it was not forced upon me. I am never bored with my sex life because sex with someone you love is so much more fulfilling than random hook ups. I thank God everyday for my husband and the fact that I don't have to date or rely on strangers for physical or emotional romance. We make each other happy, why would I mess with that?
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    Dec 30, 2012 2:58 AM GMT
    It depends on who you are and how you were raised up. The way the person view sex base on his family and the type of friends they hang around with.
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    Dec 30, 2012 5:52 AM GMT
    Perserverance saidIt depends on who you are and how you were raised up. The way the person view sex base on his family and the type of friends they hang around with.


    ...And if peace exists in the tortured sole.

    stiletto-moody-judy-002.jpg

    I love the color!



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    Dec 31, 2012 5:09 PM GMT
    Monogamy is so deeply ingrained in our society that the thought of having sex outside of relationship is equated with unfaithfulness, and lack of love. I do agree that having sex with an emotionally connected partner to be more intimate, satisfying and meaningful, but that is not to say sex outside of relationship should be forbidden.

    If you play tennis doubles, or do competitive dancing; having a single tennis/dance partner is great, since you understand your partner well, and complement each other; but that shouldn't bar you from playing tennis, or dancing with another player/dancer occasionally. What you learn from others can improve your game with your long-term partner. So why are we so hung up when it comes to sex?

    Love and sex might be intertwined, but they are not equal. I believe that sex is not the only expression of romantic love, nor love is incomplete without sex.
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    Dec 31, 2012 5:24 PM GMT
    And as much as we deny wanting to have sex outside or relationship, statistics tell us that over half (60%) of men do cheat.

    That's a gap between what we aim for (monogamy) and what we actually do. I guess this already exclude those who are in open relationships.

    http://postmasculine.com/infidelity-statistics
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Dec 31, 2012 5:40 PM GMT
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREFor those of you who has been constrained in a LTR (for more than 3 years), do you ever feel bored having sex with the same person?


    Not bored. My bf pleases me in bed, like no one ever has before.... I just wish we did more often.icon_sad.gificon_redface.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 31, 2012 5:42 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREFor those of you who has been constrained in a LTR (for more than 3 years), do you ever feel bored having sex with the same person?


    Not bored. My bf pleases me in bed, like no one ever has before.... I just wish we did more often.icon_sad.gificon_redface.gif




    Yes, me also icon_exclaim.gif



    But he is worth waiting for.


    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 01, 2013 9:17 PM GMT
    GAMRican said
    Perserverance saidIt depends on who you are and how you were raised up. The way the person view sex base on his family and the type of friends they hang around with.


    ...And if peace exists in the tortured sole.




    If anything it looks nice....give it a rest will you?icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2013 5:03 AM GMT
    Perserverance said...

    If anything it looks nice....give it a rest will you?icon_rolleyes.gif


    26317869.jpg

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    Jan 02, 2013 6:34 PM GMT
    Perserverance saidIt depends on who you are and how you were raised up. The way the person view sex base on his family and the type of friends they hang around with.


    Because people are not of independent mind that we only think and act in accordance to some indoctrination of our youth? You wanna rethink that?