Email break-ups

  • nubScotty

    Posts: 282

    Dec 29, 2012 10:25 PM GMT
    So I was dating a guy for 3 months, past two months we spent 3-4 days a week together with me staying at his place and him even telling me to get a toothbrush to leave there.

    Flash to this past wed, we see each other exchange gifts etc, grab dinner hang out and I go to kiss him and he doesn't kiss back, says he is tired etc. Spend the night, I leave at like 9:30 and go about my life(get a FT job at a hospital icon_cool.gif etc)

    Text friday, no reply, call today after work to hangout he says sure, then text me to check my emails.

    Apparently that Thursday after I left at 10am, he sent me an email telling me he doesn't see us lasting long-term, and views us as being good friends etc. So I'm sort of just venting at the moment because I'm trying to make sense of all of it since prior to this week things were pretty good; from my point of view)

    So yeh email break-ups...WTF icon_eek.gif
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    Dec 29, 2012 11:36 PM GMT
    Sorry this happened to you! Even though I don't know the personality of the guy you dated, I think it was pretty shitty of him to break up with you in an email. What's sad is that I'm seeing that occur more often! With the discovery of the Internet, texting and Skype, not many people really care to do face to face breakups anymore. I'm wondering if this is becoming the norm!

    Nevertheless, I'm sure you'll get through this and you learned that breakups through a computer is a crappy way to end a relationship. You should go up to this guy and say to his face that he should have ended it in front of you and not his laptop!
  • great_scott

    Posts: 519

    Dec 30, 2012 1:12 AM GMT
    Ouch! All the classic signs that you've been replaced.
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    Dec 30, 2012 1:42 AM GMT
    Sucks to have this happen around the holidays, and I'm not sure it would be any better (if I were in your shoes) if the news came in person. I learned a long time ago that when they won't kiss us normally - as they always did - it means they're saving those kisses for somebody else! Just move on. With your new look - and all your success in weight loss, you're very marketable. Just get back out there and you'll have fun meeting more guys. The next one will deserve you, I'm betting!
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    Dec 30, 2012 1:52 AM GMT
    SoCalScotty said...
    So yeh email break-ups...WTF icon_eek.gif


    This happened to me years ago. I was so grateful when it happened.

    When it comes down to it, being dumped by email means that the other guy is afraid of having a serious face to face conversation and is, therefore, a coward.
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Dec 30, 2012 1:54 AM GMT
    The same thing happened to me last Thursday night (12/27).

    I had been seeing a guy for a few weeks and even though we couldn't get together as often as we had hoped, we enjoyed (or so I thought--read on) our time together. Our schedules have us very busy, however, he told me--in an e-mail, no less---it was "awkward" and he had no feelings for me at all.

    He told me he had met another guy shortly after meeting me (he was obviously shopping around) and liked him so much, he thinks it could be serious. After that, he still wants us to be "friends."

    So I get the terse "breakup" e-mail complete with announcing I have been replaced. I give it 24 hours to let it all sink in, and I call him. I told him I'm going to be a professional about this, but all I heard was how uncomfortable it was--and he agreed to see me, e-mail me and talk to me on the phone....

    Men! Arrggh! No more dating for me! OP, I think you and I both were thrown under the bus with the way our breakups were done.
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    Dec 30, 2012 1:56 AM GMT
    GAMRican said

    When it comes down to it, being dumped by email means that the other guy is afraid of having a serious face to face conversation and is, therefore, a coward.


    For sure! I was recently dumped by text message and it really pissed me off not to have a chance to GO GODZILLA on him to his face...lol!
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    Dec 30, 2012 1:57 AM GMT
    Turtleneck....... Exact same thing happened to me. Except I didn't get an email. I got a text message.
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Dec 30, 2012 2:00 AM GMT
    After seeing the entries above this post, I am lucky to get an e-mail. Guys, I think would hurt worse being dumped via text. Now that is really classless and tacky.
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    Dec 30, 2012 2:04 AM GMT
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    Dec 30, 2012 2:04 AM GMT
    turtleneckjock said So I get the terse "breakup" e-mail complete with announcing I have been replaced. I give it 24 hours to let it all sink in, and I call him. I told him I'm going to be a professional about this, but all I heard was how uncomfortable it was--and he agreed to see me, e-mail me and talk to me on the phone....

    Why on earth would you want to see or talk to someone who was capable of dumping you by e-mail?
    Clearly you're placing far more value on the relationship than he did. Better to just hit the "delete"key just as he is doing.

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    Dec 30, 2012 2:05 AM GMT
    snowman3 saidTurtleneck....... Exact same thing happened to me. Except I didn't get an email. I got a text message.


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    Dec 30, 2012 2:05 AM GMT
    turtleneckjock saidAfter seeing the entries above this post, I am lucky to get an e-mail. Guys, I think would hurt worse being dumped via text. Now that is really classless and tacky.


    Thanks, it really was a big shock after 7 months together...and beware: he's on RJ!
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    Dec 30, 2012 2:06 AM GMT
    Damn you showme beating me to it!
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    Dec 30, 2012 2:08 AM GMT
    You should be like....


    tumblr_lxrc5oAHnu1r9qly7o1_500.gif
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    Dec 30, 2012 2:11 AM GMT
    Did you assess the person out before developing a relationship with him? I feel bad that happens to you but for most of people I know they hate the truth and ignore it until the inevitable event occurs.
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Dec 30, 2012 2:19 AM GMT
    TexDef07 said
    turtleneckjock said So I get the terse "breakup" e-mail complete with announcing I have been replaced. I give it 24 hours to let it all sink in, and I call him. I told him I'm going to be a professional about this, but all I heard was how uncomfortable it was--and he agreed to see me, e-mail me and talk to me on the phone....

    Why on earth would you want to see or talk to someone who was capable of dumping you by e-mail?
    Clearly you're placing far more value on the relationship than he did. Better to just hit the "delete"key just as he is doing.



    Because it's in my personality to get "the last word."

    That's me.
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    Dec 30, 2012 2:21 AM GMT
    GAMRican said
    SoCalScotty said...
    So yeh email break-ups...WTF icon_eek.gif


    This happened to me years ago. I was so grateful when it happened.

    When it comes down to it, being dumped by email means that the other guy is afraid of having a serious face to face conversation and is, therefore, a coward.


    I don't know... I think finding out that I've been dating a coward for 3 months presents an additional blow.
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    Dec 30, 2012 2:28 AM GMT
    This is ridiculous, if you're going to date then you need to be man enough to communicate and treat people with respect. This sort of thing makes me insane because it's cowardly and it leaves the other person hanging and I think it's really just rude. Sorry that it happened to you that way but it sounds like you're better off without this guy...
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    Dec 30, 2012 2:39 AM GMT
    mashedpotatoes said
    GAMRican said
    SoCalScotty said...
    So yeh email break-ups...WTF icon_eek.gif


    This happened to me years ago. I was so grateful when it happened.

    When it comes down to it, being dumped by email means that the other guy is afraid of having a serious face to face conversation and is, therefore, a coward.


    I don't know... I think finding out that I've been dating a coward for 3 months presents an additional blow.


    You don't know somebody is a coward until a "meaningful moment" presents itself. Character is revealed, not during easy moments, but tough moments. Like fire, tough moments burn away the weak of character.

    Again, I was grateful for when the coward failed to show it's face. I am grateful that it happened sooner rather than later. I was of strong enough in my self-confidence and self-esteem to know that I was not lacking in courage or character.

    I have no regret for being brave enough to give others the opportunity to show their character. To not give any others the opportunity to "chicken out", means taking a stance of "no risk appetite". For me, being totally risk averse would be a form of cowardice as well.
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    Dec 30, 2012 2:39 AM GMT
    MrBrightEyes saidThis is ridiculous, if you're going to date then you need to be man enough to communicate and treat people with respect. This sort of thing makes me insane because it's cowardly and it leaves the other person hanging and I think it's really just rude. Sorry that it happened to you that way but it sounds like you're better off without this guy...


    +10

    The sad thing is that no one cares to have a face to face or even telephone conversation any longer. Technology has improved business but human relationships are suffering .
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    Dec 30, 2012 2:45 AM GMT
    GAMRican said
    mashedpotatoes said
    GAMRican said
    SoCalScotty said...
    So yeh email break-ups...WTF icon_eek.gif


    This happened to me years ago. I was so grateful when it happened.

    When it comes down to it, being dumped by email means that the other guy is afraid of having a serious face to face conversation and is, therefore, a coward.


    I don't know... I think finding out that I've been dating a coward for 3 months presents an additional blow.


    You don't know somebody is a coward until a "meaningful moment" presents itself. Character is revealed, not during easy moments, but tough moments. Like fire, tough moments burn away the weak of character.

    Again, I was grateful for when the coward failed to show it's face. I am grateful that it happened sooner rather than later. I was of strong enough in my self-confidence and self-esteem to know that I was not lacking in courage or character.

    I have no regret for being brave enough to give others the opportunity to show their character. To not give any others the opportunity to "chicken out", means taking a stance of "no risk appetite". For me, being totally risk averse would be a form of cowardice as well.


    Interesting. For me, I like to think I can read people well enough beforehand to know if they're a flake, hence stuff like that is a blow to my ego, lol.
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Dec 30, 2012 2:51 AM GMT
    GAMRican said
    mashedpotatoes said
    GAMRican said
    SoCalScotty said...
    So yeh email break-ups...WTF icon_eek.gif


    This happened to me years ago. I was so grateful when it happened.

    When it comes down to it, being dumped by email means that the other guy is afraid of having a serious face to face conversation and is, therefore, a coward.


    I don't know... I think finding out that I've been dating a coward for 3 months presents an additional blow.


    You don't know somebody is a coward until a "meaningful moment" presents itself. Character is revealed, not during easy moments, but tough moments. Like fire, tough moments burn away the weak of character.

    Again, I was grateful for when the coward failed to show it's face. I am grateful that it happened sooner rather than later. I was of strong enough in my self-confidence and self-esteem to know that I was not lacking in courage or character.

    I have no regret for being brave enough to give others the opportunity to show their character. To not give any others the opportunity to "chicken out", means taking a stance of "no risk appetite". For me, being totally risk averse would be a form of cowardice as well.


    And anyone that would break up with you is a damn fool and a loser.
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    Dec 30, 2012 2:53 AM GMT
    mashedpotatoes said
    GAMRican said
    mashedpotatoes said
    GAMRican said
    SoCalScotty said...
    So yeh email break-ups...WTF icon_eek.gif


    This happened to me years ago. I was so grateful when it happened.

    When it comes down to it, being dumped by email means that the other guy is afraid of having a serious face to face conversation and is, therefore, a coward.


    I don't know... I think finding out that I've been dating a coward for 3 months presents an additional blow.


    You don't know somebody is a coward until a "meaningful moment" presents itself. Character is revealed, not during easy moments, but tough moments. Like fire, tough moments burn away the weak of character.

    Again, I was grateful for when the coward failed to show it's face. I am grateful that it happened sooner rather than later. I was of strong enough in my self-confidence and self-esteem to know that I was not lacking in courage or character.

    I have no regret for being brave enough to give others the opportunity to show their character. To not give any others the opportunity to "chicken out", means taking a stance of "no risk appetite". For me, being totally risk averse would be a form of cowardice as well.


    Interesting. For me, I like to think I can read people well enough beforehand to know if they're a flake, hence stuff like that is a blow to my ego, lol.


    I have yet to read any person so perfectly that I cannot be surprised.
    Kudos to you on your gift of foresight and insight!
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Dec 30, 2012 3:32 AM GMT
    I think an email break-up is OK if you've been dating a short time and or weren't exclusive. But if you've been with somebody a while you need to have a face to face conversation.

    I split up with my now ex for a week this summer, after a fight I e-mailed him a long e-mail with all of the reasons that things weren't working out. I told him what I liked about our relationship and what I didn't and what I needed that he wasn't providing. It was really a good way to organize my thoughts and he e-mailed me back a similar message. We then met face to face to say a proper goodbye and ended up getting back together for six months lol. Now, sadly, I think we're split for good because our careers are about to take us away fro eachother.