Illegal Liberal Aliens

  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Sep 19, 2008 7:14 PM GMT
    From the MANITOBA HERALD, Canada (a very underground paper): The flood
    of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
    intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to
    stop the illegal immigration.

    The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus
    among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt,
    pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

    Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
    professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields
    at night.

    I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
    producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield,
    whose acreage borders North Dakota .

    The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could
    spare a latte and some free-range chicken.

    When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show
    him my screenplay, eh?"

    In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
    fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers
    that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he
    said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much
    they wouldn't give milk."

    Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
    near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive
    them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

    "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,"
    an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of
    drinking water. "They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

    When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
    wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
    have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing
    re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves from
    airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for the
    Rapture.

    In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of
    crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus
    trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
    half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration
    authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed
    senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to
    prove they were alive in the '50s.

    "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show,
    we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

    Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
    creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan
    Sarandon movies.

    "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't
    support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history and
    English majors does one country need?"




  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Sep 19, 2008 7:51 PM GMT
    love it
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    Sep 19, 2008 8:35 PM GMT
    that is very funny! icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 19, 2008 8:51 PM GMT
    Funny, but mostly plagiarized.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Sep 19, 2008 8:58 PM GMT
    mindgarden saidFunny, but mostly plagiarized.


    I didn't write it.
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    Sep 19, 2008 9:16 PM GMT
    Mindgarden: from where? source?
  • DuggerPDX

    Posts: 386

    Sep 19, 2008 9:36 PM GMT
    But seriously, has anyone ever thought about an exit strategy if things really did get bad here in the states for us?

    I've talked about it with friends and my partner, more in a half joking way, but sometimes I think about it.

    My top picks:

    New Zealand
    Spain
    Canada
    Northern California when it secedes from the US (for all you Ectopia readers)


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    Sep 19, 2008 9:41 PM GMT
    How funny! This sounds like an Onion or 23/6 report.
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    Sep 19, 2008 9:45 PM GMT
    So what now they want too fuck up Canada too? Why do they want to ruin a wonderful, beautiful country?

    Next they will be getting on boats and coming to Oz, and we will have to pay to detain them, in detention centres. No wait the labour Government (Democrats USA) has said it was going to close em, and let the invaders, illegals aliens, into our community.icon_eek.gif

    Now we will be able to go to Darwin again, and watch the refuge regatta. icon_surprised.gificon_biggrin.gif

    You gotta love Rush.icon_biggrin.gif
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Sep 19, 2008 9:50 PM GMT
    DuggerPDX saidBut seriously, has anyone ever thought about an exit strategy if things really did get bad here in the states for us?

    I've talked about it with friends and my partner, more in a half joking way, but sometimes I think about it.

    My top picks:

    New Zealand
    Spain
    Canada
    Northern California when it secedes from the US (for all you Ectopia readers)




    My partner and I talk about it to. We love CA though, doesn't feel like a part of the rest of US.

    Oh, and I want to go where there are no uncle tom gay republicans, or any republicans for that matter!
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Sep 19, 2008 9:57 PM GMT
    Israel or India are top on my list, and not because I love the letter 'I'. It's just easy for the two of us to get citizenship in those to countries.

    /Hindu and a Jew and all of that
    //slash-tastic
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    Sep 19, 2008 10:00 PM GMT
    Koaa2 said
    DuggerPDX saidBut seriously, has anyone ever thought about an exit strategy if things really did get bad here in the states for us?

    I've talked about it with friends and my partner, more in a half joking way, but sometimes I think about it.

    My top picks:

    New Zealand
    Spain
    Canada
    Northern California when it secedes from the US (for all you Ectopia readers)




    My partner and I talk about it to. We love CA though, doesn't feel like a part of the rest of US.

    Oh, and I want to go where there are no uncle tom gay republicans, or any republicans for that matter!


    Don't come to Oz then, as me husband number one, is a gay american republican, and a decent person too. We have other gay american friends too, whom are also Republicans, all Sharp sweet guys. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Sep 19, 2008 10:03 PM GMT
    Pattison said
    Koaa2 said
    DuggerPDX saidBut seriously, has anyone ever thought about an exit strategy if things really did get bad here in the states for us?

    I've talked about it with friends and my partner, more in a half joking way, but sometimes I think about it.

    My top picks:

    New Zealand
    Spain
    Canada
    Northern California when it secedes from the US (for all you Ectopia readers)




    My partner and I talk about it to. We love CA though, doesn't feel like a part of the rest of US.

    Oh, and I want to go where there are no uncle tom gay republicans, or any republicans for that matter!


    Sounds like that old phrase, "I have friends who are Black", than vote against rights for them.



    Don't come to Oz then, as me husband number one, is a gay american republican, and a decent person too. We have other gay american friends too, whom are also Republicans, all Sharp sweet guys. icon_biggrin.gif





    Uncle Toms, all of them, know matter how sweet, supporting a party that would like to deny rights to gay people.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 19, 2008 10:45 PM GMT
    Koaa2 said
    Pattison said
    Koaa2 said
    DuggerPDX saidBut seriously, has anyone ever thought about an exit strategy if things really did get bad here in the states for us?

    I've talked about it with friends and my partner, more in a half joking way, but sometimes I think about it.

    My top picks:

    New Zealand
    Spain
    Canada
    Northern California when it secedes from the US (for all you Ectopia readers)




    My partner and I talk about it to. We love CA though, doesn't feel like a part of the rest of US.

    Oh, and I want to go where there are no uncle tom gay republicans, or any republicans for that matter!


    Sounds like that old phrase, "I have friends who are Black", than vote against rights for them.



    Don't come to Oz then, as me husband number one, is a gay american republican, and a decent person too. We have other gay american friends too, whom are also Republicans, all Sharp sweet guys. icon_biggrin.gif





    Uncle Toms, all of them, know matter how sweet, supporting a party that would like to deny rights to gay people.


    Oh please, and what have the democrats done for the advancement of gay equality in the USA? After free willy, Bill Clinton lest the White House, the gays of the US of A. Where still in the dark ages, yet you blame the Republicans for this?

    The Republicans have always been transparent on homosexual issues. Have the Democrats. It was only in Hillarys dying days, that she tried in vain to dig up the gay vote. But I'm sure it would never of come to pass. Just as Obama want be able to change the economy, and he knows it's out of his powers, and the Mr Bush too.

    Did free willie, Bill Clinton give you the right to wed a loved one. NO.
    I don't recall any advancement in gay equality under the last democrats in power the Clinton's.

    Would America be a better place, if you got what "YOU" want? Lots of nasty self serving gay democrats out there. Whom are unable to put their hate, pride aside, before the better of the US of A.

    But as a True Blue Aussie. 6 generations born to Oz. I have complained about newcomers to Oz, getting rights I don't have. A White Indigenous Aussie. Anyone under four generations born to oz, is a newcomers.

    Yet if a government offered me the same rights as new comers to Oz. I still may not vote for em, as they and their policy's may not be the best for Oz in the long run. Something democrats/ labour don't have the ability to do, as they are blinded by their wants, and pride, and lack the ability to put other before their wants. Put their pride aside, and vote for the better of America, and not their wants.

    Look they are already talking about fleeing the USA. So they must not love it very much. I would never flee Oz, no matter what. I would die first!

    My first rule of being a Gentleman: is to put yourself last. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Sep 19, 2008 11:36 PM GMT
    I'd move to Canada. Hell, I'm from central New York. Canada is closer to me than New York City.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Sep 20, 2008 12:29 AM GMT
    Pattison said
    Koaa2 said
    Pattison said
    Koaa2 said
    DuggerPDX saidBut seriously, has anyone ever thought about an exit strategy if things really did get bad here in the states for us?

    I've talked about it with friends and my partner, more in a half joking way, but sometimes I think about it.

    My top picks:

    New Zealand
    Spain
    Canada
    Northern California when it secedes from the US (for all you Ectopia readers)




    My partner and I talk about it to. We love CA though, doesn't feel like a part of the rest of US.

    Oh, and I want to go where there are no uncle tom gay republicans, or any republicans for that matter!


    Sounds like that old phrase, "I have friends who are Black", than vote against rights for them.



    Don't come to Oz then, as me husband number one, is a gay american republican, and a decent person too. We have other gay american friends too, whom are also Republicans, all Sharp sweet guys. icon_biggrin.gif





    Uncle Toms, all of them, know matter how sweet, supporting a party that would like to deny rights to gay people.


    Oh please, and what have the democrats done for the advancement of gay equality in the USA? After free willy, Bill Clinton lest the White House, the gays of the US of A. Where still in the dark ages, yet you blame the Republicans for this?

    The Republicans have always been transparent on homosexual issues. Have the Democrats. It was only in Hillarys dying days, that she tried in vain to dig up the gay vote. But I'm sure it would never of come to pass. Just as Obama want be able to change the economy, and he knows it's out of his powers, and the Mr Bush too.

    Did free willie, Bill Clinton give you the right to wed a loved one. NO.
    I don't recall any advancement in gay equality under the last democrats in power the Clinton's.

    Would America be a better place, if you got what "YOU" want? Lots of nasty self serving gay democrats out there. Whom are unable to put their hate, pride aside, before the better of the US of A.

    But as a True Blue Aussie. 6 generations born to Oz. I have complained about newcomers to Oz, getting rights I don't have. A White Indigenous Aussie. Anyone under four generations born to oz, is a newcomers.

    Yet if a government offered me the same rights as new comers to Oz. I still may not vote for em, as they and their policy's may not be the best for Oz in the long run. Something democrats/ labour don't have the ability to do, as they are blinded by their wants, and pride, and lack the ability to put other before their wants. Put their pride aside, and vote for the better of America, and not their wants.

    Look they are already talking about fleeing the USA. So they must not love it very much. I would never flee Oz, no matter what. I would die first!


    My first rule of being a Gentleman: is to put yourself last. icon_biggrin.gif


    Glad you like Oz, hope and your Repug bf stay there, so you can't support the Repugs here!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 20, 2008 9:09 AM GMT
    That is funny, but I will add a hint of truth to a degree.

    Florida has become increasingly right wing and religious since I came here in 1997 and we're now leaving Florida at the end of the month and moving to Massachusetts. I already have a job lined up. With Amendment 2 and the other right wing goofiness down here, the creationist wackos can have Florida.

    I already checked the political map of my new zip code and I think there might be three or four wingnuts around me, as opposed to the current thousands. LOL