Keeping it fresh!

  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Sep 19, 2008 9:13 PM GMT
    Not to be confused with "Keeping it real" lol

    How do you keep it fresh in your relationship?

    I'm aiming this more at guys in LTR's over 4 years.
    We're heading into year 5, and I'm wondering what kinds of things that other guys do to keep things fresh at this point, in the bedroom and out of it.

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    Sep 20, 2008 2:07 AM GMT
    It sounds stupid, but go buy a couple cosmo's, there's usually always articles on how to keep it fresh and though it may seem stupid because it's for girls, most of the comments and suggestions on keeping it fresh are from gay guys icon_smile.gif

    As for out of the to someone else. haha
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    Sep 20, 2008 2:23 AM GMT
    We have been together 5 years now. I'm not sure 5 years qualifies when I know gay couples together 20 years, but I'll offer my two cents worth.

    Lots of ideas. We are both versatile, so that instantly creates lots of options. We both like uniforms and role playing. We have acquired lots of fun toys over the years. Our favorite toy website is

    And finally, while it doesn't work for all couples, sharing another guy or guys from time to time, has worked really well for us.
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    Sep 20, 2008 7:32 AM GMT
    We are always reading different books which gives us something fresh to talk about. We like to travel which gives us something fresh to experience. We are apart from each other much of the time so we have our different experiences with different friends to share. Now, the bed thing, well, after nearly 18 years, there is not much out there to make that fresh but I like what BigSextjock says about that subject so you can take his advice.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11648

    Sep 20, 2008 12:40 PM GMT
    I was with my first BF for 8 years
    and the freshness comes from things going on Outside the bedroom

    ... go out on dates together
    plan some get aways from the house and work together
    keep in tune to the things he likes ... his music his clothes and the things he likes about you

    do that stuff and it'll pay off in spades in the bedroom
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Sep 20, 2008 3:46 PM GMT
    Thanks for the responses guys. I do a lot of that already (date nights, trips out of town planned together, keep in touch with what he likes).

    I don't think either of us are ready to bring a third into the bedroom. Our sex life also isn't a problem right now. I keep reading about people having problems right around 5 years though, and sometimes I find myself wondering what I can do to keep myself excited about my partner, and to keep him excited about me. I think it's probably crucial to have interests/things to do that aren't shared, just so that we have interesting things to tell each other about.

    Oh, I am also going to buy a few copies of cosmo. I will never admit it to anyone in real life though.
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    Sep 20, 2008 6:26 PM GMT
    For me and my partner we find trying new things always helps in keeping the relationship fresh.

    We went ziplining in NH this past spring and spent a weekend hiking the trails around the place we stayed. Tonight we are going to a cooking class to cook a Spanish meal. We also try to keep our vacation new and interesting, go somewhere we havent before been or trying something different.

    As far as the sex, we have kept it mostly fresh by willing to talk about be honest on what we want and desire. There is a deep trust and willingness to try new things. We both enjoy role play, leather, bondage amongs other things.

    Communciation is what really helps keep it fresh for all things.
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    Sep 20, 2008 7:38 PM GMT

    IS there a real fool-proof way to keep it fresh? Our own experience has been more in the way of quiet reflection and careful listening.

    I'll look at Bill standing in the backyard covered in mud and plant debris from landscaping our property, and because I've cultivated this awareness, get a great big 'ol lump in my throat. I realize that he's completely altered my life. Huge profound change by just being sweet Bill. Bill says this happens when I ask him questions. I guess he finds it harder to intuit his emotions and communicate them verbally, because he says I'm able to know what he's thinking about and how to speak of his thoughts and feelings in a way that draws him along into comfortable conversations. His lump in the throat.

    We both take a big emotional charge out the the mundane things that make each other happy.

    We also like to check each other out. This can be fun in public, especially when people around you are strangers.

    But this is just us, who still feel like we met a few weeks ago (until you stand in front of a mirror and startle yourself with the older image looking back! heheh)