Is there more than fucking

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2012 6:10 AM GMT
    I know I'm going to sound like a total prude, but lately I'm just so over gay guys. I seems like the entire gay lifecycle is: 1) go to the gym to attract sex partners, 2) fuck said sex partners, 3) eventually lose your body and are unable to attract partners, 4) watch from the sidelines.

    I'm sure this is totally offensive to older guys, but what got me thinking about this: I was at a bar, and this 70 year old guy is at the end of the bar, in totally ridiculous tight jeans and a see-through tank top, and he's just full-on harassing any young guy that wanders near him. And you could tell by his over-the-top sexual come-ons, that he didn't even have an exception that someone might reciprocate. It was like the interaction and rejection was the only sexual outlet he had left. I could have literally broke down crying at how pathetic it was.

    I get that sex is great, but why does that have to be the entire basis of all our relationships. It seems like straights have it figured out: meet someone when you're both sexually attractive, commit and build a life and family together, and when you're both old and have lost your sexual attractability, you have each other to grow old with. I feel like as gay guys we just exploit each other's youth and beauty until it's gone, rather than using it to invest in a future.

    Wow, I didn't mean to go off on such a rant. And I get that gay guys can get married and have kids too, but I just wonder why no one does. I know a fair number of gay guys, and I know exactly 1 couple that has adopted kids.

    Okay, rant over.
  • seafrontbloke

    Posts: 300

    Dec 31, 2012 12:09 PM GMT
    oozyrat said

    I get that sex is great, but why does that have to be the entire basis of all our relationships. It seems like straights have it figured out: meet someone when you're both sexually attractive, commit and build a life and family together, and when you're both old and have lost your sexual attractability, you have each other to grow old with. I feel like as gay guys we just exploit each other's youth and beauty until it's gone, rather than using it to invest in a future.

    Wow, I didn't mean to go off on such a rant. And I get that gay guys can get married and have kids too, but I just wonder why no one does. I know a fair number of gay guys, and I know exactly 1 couple that has adopted kids.

    Okay, rant over.


    Your last paragraph says it all. I'm settled with my husband (in the UK) we do middle aged things like going to the opera etc. We don't have kids, primarily because we got together when I was over 40 and the UK won't allow an older person to adopt. I have, in the past, been a Scout Leader so I don't per se, have a reaction against children (though the work life tends to suggest that we wouldn't have the lifestyle to properly parent).

    I suspect, in the US, a lot of the issues are around State laws which ban gay men (and women) from adopting as a couple.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Dec 31, 2012 12:18 PM GMT
    Think you have a pretty disorted view of gay people. Straights are pretty much the same. To bad you don't know more gay guys that are in long term relationships. All people are different and you are focusing on only those that you percieve to have had difficulty maintaining long term relationships. I couldn't tell you the number of times I have seen straight guys, of all ages, hitting on women.
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    Dec 31, 2012 2:12 PM GMT
    Wow, so let me get this straight, you seem to think that straight people have it figured out because they find a partner and stick with them through their hot years and last into old age, while all these shallow gays just hook up and end up alone cruising into old age? Is that it?

    You're a bonehead. 50% divorce rate mean anything to you? Yeah, straights have seriously fucked up marriages and many, a lot, end up alone. Maybe not desperately hanging at the end of a bar cruising every hot thing that walks by, but so what? Then again, OP, how many straight bars have you gone to lately to check and see if there are horny elderly straights cruising hotties? Thought so.

    That image of a 70 year old at a bar is kind of sad, but then again, I don't go to bars at all, so I am wondering how you knew he was 70 and also how you knew he never scored. Or, maybe that was his kink. Maybe being rejected got him off. You took so little information and ran with it. Again, all your post has proven is you are a bonehead.

    Here is what I see around me, most of my gay friends are in longer term relationships with other gay men that they love and have created long term relationships with. Home purchases, investments of all sorts, healthy and loving relationships and some have children. Maybe you should spend less time studying gay bar habits and more time studying healthy gay relationships.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Dec 31, 2012 2:48 PM GMT
    I feel you, OP. I too have seen the creepy, old guys at the gay bars trying desperately to hold on to their sex appeal. It's a particular terrible pain of the human condition to still crave sex when your body has gone over the hill.

    My plan is to shut it down and become a Buddhist monk once I turn 60. That gives me.. 20 more years to enjoy myself. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2012 3:01 PM GMT
    Y'all are idiots. We don't excoriate all straight people cause Honey Boo Boo's parents are freaks.

    Not everyone ages gracefully. So be it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2012 3:17 PM GMT
    oozyrat saidI know I'm going to sound like a total prude, but lately I'm just so over gay guys. I seems like the entire gay lifecycle is: 1) go to the gym to attract sex partners, 2) fuck said sex partners, 3) eventually lose your body and are unable to attract partners, 4) watch from the sidelines.

    I'm sure this is totally offensive to older guys, but what got me thinking about this: I was at a bar, and this 70 year old guy is at the end of the bar, in totally ridiculous tight jeans and a see-through tank top, and he's just full-on harassing any young guy that wanders near him. And you could tell by his over-the-top sexual come-ons, that he didn't even have an exception that someone might reciprocate. It was like the interaction and rejection was the only sexual outlet he had left. I could have literally broke down crying at how pathetic it was.

    I get that sex is great, but why does that have to be the entire basis of all our relationships. It seems like straights have it figured out: meet someone when you're both sexually attractive, commit and build a life and family together, and when you're both old and have lost your sexual attractability, you have each other to grow old with. I feel like as gay guys we just exploit each other's youth and beauty until it's gone, rather than using it to invest in a future.

    Wow, I didn't mean to go off on such a rant. And I get that gay guys can get married and have kids too, but I just wonder why no one does. I know a fair number of gay guys, and I know exactly 1 couple that has adopted kids.

    Okay, rant over.


    Great rant. Several comments.

    Guys that harass stand out, whether they're straight or old, and let's not forget ugly.

    Our understanding of age changes with our years. When I was a little kid I thought that a teenager was old and that the natural dying age was in the 50's. I know a guy in his early 70's who friggin' hott physically and everything about him works like a guy half his age. In addition he's nice, intelligent, well spoken, and a great kisser. One's youth doesn't diminish until one kills it off, or lets others kill it off for them. Think out of the box and you'll thrive far longer and healthier than some closed minded fool.

    Heteros (and closeted gays) are often forced into marrying because of what they perceive as what they should do, rather than what would really be best for them. If it wasn't for bigotry I think that a huge percentage of heteros would respect the less rigid marital situations that lots of gays seem to have. At the same time gays are in the situation we're in because of the limits and restrictions heteros pushed us into (including feeling the need to be closeted).

    Homos getting married is a relatively new legal concept- in few states only. It takes time for our gay culture to accept it. Marriage should be a serious commitment, something that we were denied and therefore developed without. The foundations of gay life have to adjust for most of us to accept it as real and that it won't be pulled from under our feet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2012 4:35 PM GMT
    A situation of a 70 yr old's actions shouldn't skew and make generalisations about the age group as a whole. Look around
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 31, 2012 4:52 PM GMT
    OmegaOne saidA situation of a 70 yr old's actions shouldn't skew and make generalisations about the age group as a whole. Look around

    Thanks. Every age groups has jerks. I guess that guy was in mine (and some guys here think I rate with him, too).

    But yah know, OP, you'd also see my closest gay friends being normal married couples, and they're nearly as old. And we don't pretend to be something we're not in gay clubs, and hit on guys who could be our grandsons.

    And you know what's beautiful to me? Not hitting on club bois 1/3 my age, but last night cuddling with my 70+ husband under the blankets because it was cold. Or earlier at a restaurant with another gay couple, holding his hand, while they held each other's hands.

    Yeah, each generation has their own jerks, like the one the OP saw from mine. Hopefully they aren't too common.