How to Use Hookup Apps

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 02, 2013 5:38 AM GMT
    Question. I searched and found lots of posts on grindr, etc...but can't seem to find my answer.

    How do you guys use hookup apps to...well, hookup? I don't want my family to get a call from the police saying they found me chopped up in a freezer, haha.
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    Jan 02, 2013 5:45 AM GMT
    If you're nervous, have a good friend be your buddy system. Send them the persons address/name/phone number, and let the person know you're doing.

    Letting them know is first important, so they are aware that you're giving out info, but it also tells them they will be the first person the police go to if you end up missing. haha
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    Jan 02, 2013 8:28 PM GMT
    That makes total sense. Aside from the safety issue, how do you guys normally go about it? Meet somewhere for lunch and then do it...or just knock on their front door? icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 02, 2013 10:11 PM GMT
    Just knock on the front door haha
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    Jan 02, 2013 10:14 PM GMT
    Buddy system - someone should know what you're up to.

    Public meetup - meet the dude in public somewhere. Even a parking lot by your or his place. Some guys may not be cool with this but it doesn't matter. It's your life and safety - there are crazies out there.

    Talk to the dude - message him for a day or two on grindr. Is he only online at night looking to party? That might be a bad sign.

    Pics, pics, pics - if a dude doesn't have lots of current pics then something is fishy. If a dude has a hookup app on his phone then he has a camera. No excuses.

    To answer your question - I am usually confident to meet a guy at his place before meeting in public. But that comes from experience and confidence in my assassin skills .
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    Jan 05, 2013 7:52 PM GMT
    Assassin skills are always helpful.

    Thanks, this helps. I'm not sold on the whole using apps to hookup, but just thought I'd gather up info in case the situation arises and I decide to try it out.
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    Jan 05, 2013 8:13 PM GMT
    art90 saidAssassin skills are always helpful.

    Thanks, this helps. I'm not sold on the whole using apps to hookup, but just thought I'd gather up info in case the situation arises and I decide to try it out.

    It's not very glamorous or tasteful thing to do to be honest. I did it twice and both times I wasn't thrilled with it. Not because they didn't perform well or were unattractive but just the fact that there was no feelings. But I guess thats just with hooking up in general.

    If you ever feel uneasy about simply don't do it. Trust your gut.
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    Jan 05, 2013 8:22 PM GMT
    IceBuckets said
    art90 saidAssassin skills are always helpful.

    Thanks, this helps. I'm not sold on the whole using apps to hookup, but just thought I'd gather up info in case the situation arises and I decide to try it out.

    It's not very glamorous or tasteful thing to do to be honest. I did it twice and both times I wasn't thrilled with it. Not because they didn't perform well or were unattractive but just the fact that there was no feelings. But I guess thats just with hooking up in general.

    If you ever feel uneasy about simply don't do it. Trust your gut.


    Yeah, I guess I don't really like a meaningless hookup. I hate it when a hookup is "over" and all of a sudden it's time to put on clothes and be all weird. I just wanna tell the guy "I'm not gonna ask you to marry me, so chill out!"

    It's a hard thing to find because I'm not looking for a relationship now, but I'm also a real sensual guy who wants to share something between the sheets. Haha, sounds gay, but I guess I am so oh well. icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 05, 2013 8:26 PM GMT
    art90 said
    IceBuckets said
    art90 saidAssassin skills are always helpful.

    Thanks, this helps. I'm not sold on the whole using apps to hookup, but just thought I'd gather up info in case the situation arises and I decide to try it out.

    It's not very glamorous or tasteful thing to do to be honest. I did it twice and both times I wasn't thrilled with it. Not because they didn't perform well or were unattractive but just the fact that there was no feelings. But I guess thats just with hooking up in general.

    If you ever feel uneasy about simply don't do it. Trust your gut.


    Yeah, I guess I don't really like a meaningless hookup. I hate it when a hookup is "over" and all of a sudden it's time to put on clothes and be all weird. I just wanna tell the guy "I'm not gonna ask you to marry me, so chill out!"

    It's a hard thing to find because I'm not looking for a relationship now, but I'm also a real sensual guy who wants to share something between the sheets. Haha, sounds gay, but I guess I am so oh well. icon_razz.gif

    Don't we all? icon_wink.gif

    But you might be deluding yourself into thinking pure sex is "enough" when in realty it's just going to leave you jaded and wanting a more intimate experience. It could also have a role in distancing yourself from an actual relationship because your so used to everything being physical and you can't connect emotionally.
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    Jan 05, 2013 8:37 PM GMT
    This may be digressing from the topic, but I'm cool with it evolving. But do you think it is possible to have short-lived emotional experiences? That are fulfilling in and of themselves - without necessarily bridging the gap into relationship land?

    I ask this because I was in a place not too long ago where I could have maintained a relationship, but my ambition got in the way. Which I don't regret, because I have a lot of personal goals and am not willing to sacrifice them.

    Or should I (to some extent) abstain from the idea of sex until I'm ready to explore situations where commitment is a possibility?
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    Jan 05, 2013 8:43 PM GMT
    art90 saidThis may be digressing from the topic, but I'm cool with it evolving. But do you think it is possible to have short-lived emotional experiences? That are fulfilling in and of themselves - without necessarily bridging the gap into relationship land?

    I ask this because I was in a place not too long ago where I could have maintained a relationship, but my ambition got in the way. Which I don't regret, because I have a lot of personal goals and am not willing to sacrifice them.

    Or should I (to some extent) abstain from the idea of sex until I'm ready to explore situations where commitment is a possibility?

    The last part, the abstain because you may want to wait to explore commitment possibilities is where I usually offer people advice, only because my limited experience in all things gay has been that many gay guys become quite cynical about the rampant sexual ease and lack of much more. So you can hook up any time with hot guys, or at least I can, but if you want more, good luck.
    So, if you want my advice, and really who doesn't? I'd steer clear of the online meat markets and focus on whatever it is that is keeping you for being 100 percent available to a fully engaged relationship. That removes the danger, the STI's and the emptiness of hookups, leaving up less battered and bruised for a bigger picture type relationship down the road.
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    Jan 05, 2013 8:53 PM GMT
    smartmoney said
    The last part, the abstain because you may want to wait to explore commitment possibilities is where I usually offer people advice, only because my limited experience in all things gay has been that many gay guys become quite cynical about the rampant sexual ease and lack of much more. So you can hook up any time with hot guys, or at least I can, but if you want more, good luck.
    So, if you want my advice, and really who doesn't? I'd steer clear of the online meat markets and focus on whatever it is that is keeping you for being 100 percent available to a fully engaged relationship. That removes the danger, the STI's and the emptiness of hookups, leaving up less battered and bruised for a bigger picture type relationship down the road.


    Ugh, you're right. Haha. I guess I'll try and keep myself cynicism-free.
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    Jan 05, 2013 9:00 PM GMT
    And I guess my view of wanting to have a one night stand that is emotional could end hurting the other person as well. That's what blows: I don't want to have an unemotional hookup, I want to connect in the moment...but I don't necessarily see it come to full fruition (right now).

    Maybe there is something in between there, but I guess I'll just keep working on myself until I feel comfortable making space for a significant other.