Addicted to hacking into ex-bf's accounts....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2013 12:03 AM GMT
    While visiting my ex-bf in another state 4 years after our break up, we were headed towards getting back together, and then imploded after about a month when I realized he was sexting on the side and lying about it. While going through his phone in the middle of the night, I found various passwords which I used to hack into his profiles (adam4adam, manhunt, etc.), and after numerous self-traumatizing acts on these sites, I topped them all when I made a fake adam4adam profile, messaged him, and we had cyber sex for about 2 hours.

    What I'm looking for from you guys....

    1. Shaming. I know I deserve it. I feel horrible and I definitely deserve it.

    2. Similar stories, hopefully with happy endings.

    3. Experiences with people like myself, and routes to recovery that u have seen work and/or been a part of.

    4. See # 1.

    5. Any words of encouragement that I can get past this.


    Note: This was the ex love of my life, as he calls me that too. Engaged after a year. Only person I never, not once, had to think about someone else in order to get off in bed. I do know deep down that this behavior is characteristic of a psychopath, and clearly this is all a tell-tale sign that I need to move on as fast as yesterday, but here I am, half a decade later..... and while I'm thriving in other areas of my life, this is driving me to the brink of insanity. Therapy is a must, but if I was missing something, I'd like it pointed out. Thanks in advance for replies.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jan 03, 2013 1:35 AM GMT
    All of a sudden, I'm feeling very good about my life. icon_razz.gif
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Jan 03, 2013 1:37 AM GMT
    But, in all seriousness: What you did was very, very wrong. Very unhealthy. Manipulative, desperate and obsessive. It is better to move on with your life and deal with your own pain, on your own terms, for as long as it takes to dissipate.

    Yes, some therapy will help you. Thought it would be best for you to accept it's over, learn the life lesson, and don't repeat any of this with the next guy.
  • squally

    Posts: 180

    Jan 03, 2013 1:44 AM GMT
    PR_GMR saidAll of a sudden, I'm feeling very good about my life. icon_razz.gif


    Not helpful~
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    To be honest there's no need to beat yourself up. You got to see the reality of who he truly is. It's hard to accept reality, especially when you guys seem to still hangout after you guys broke up.

    Is the guy who goes on A4A, manhunt etc the guy you truly want in your life? Forget about all the qualities about this guy for a sec and focus on his behavior. Do you want to be in a life long relationship with someone like this?

    There's no pill or faster way of recovery, but time do heal all. Distance yourself from him and don't let one bad apple ruin your LTR mindset for many others that will come into your life.
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    Jan 03, 2013 3:53 AM GMT
    You've laid out your plan...now execute it!

    1- No more snooping. Very unhealthy and offensive to the privacy of someone you care for. Not nice to do that to people you care for.
    2- Therapy. Getting a checkup from the neck up sooner than later will give you some objective feedback
    3- Recognize youre engaging in unhealthy behavior
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2013 3:53 AM GMT
    trollolololol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2013 4:02 AM GMT
    No finger points here. I am an Aries icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2013 4:09 AM GMT
    I am 100% behind you. Good going. The truth is never something to be ashamed of discovering. You have a right to know when it comes to your heart.

    Kudos.
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    Jan 03, 2013 4:13 AM GMT
    Caa-reeep-eeee
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2013 4:16 AM GMT
    They've moved on and so should you. If you find it too difficult, there's always therapy and pills.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2013 4:34 AM GMT
    You can't just "get over it" It is like someone dying in a way, some people it takes longer than others. The vengeful things were cool but wrong. I am Latin and have a jealous side so I can understand the letting go factor to be hard. Especially when you are the party more vested in the love department.
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    Jan 03, 2013 5:30 AM GMT
    Good luck finding a gay man who isn't on these websites. I think he wants an open relationship and you can't handle that.
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    Jan 03, 2013 5:58 AM GMT
    He made you doubt him and you acted upon that. Nothing wrong there. you were just taking steps to make sure this time you won't get hurt and it's the real deal.
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    Jan 03, 2013 10:10 AM GMT
    1 :
    Shame on you ! He did betray your trust, but you used it as an opportunity to do far worse to him. You should have just confronted him.

    2:
    I had worse done to me, an ex who used my account to impersonate me and make me look bad to my online buddies.

    3:
    You can't fix a issue if you don't see it as an issue. In your case, you realize it was not right, so you can fix it.
    The desire to be mean, specially when spiced by a mix of sexual turn on and revenge, can be very strong.
    But if you get some moral bones, he leave you dejected about yourself.

    You can't confront someone about his dishonesty if all you need is a excuse to be dishonest yourself.

    6:
    Nobody is completely honest, even the most self rig thous folks, given the opportunity and the certainty they won't get caught, could feel the impulse to do as you did, and even do it.
    Don't whip yourself for being human, just use the experiences you go through to adjust your behavior so that you become the kind of man you want to be.

    PS : Love that you can't have can make anyone completely obsessive, because the frustration multiply tenfold the feelings. Nothing unususal
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    Jan 03, 2013 10:14 AM GMT
    Reminds me of...

    fatal-attraction.jpg

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2013 10:18 AM GMT
    Yes, I would go for the guy above me. icon_rolleyes.gif


    ---

    2576136-obvious_troll_wedding.jpg

    C'mon. 1 post guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2013 10:54 AM GMT
    at least you are not addicted to crack...but you should probably switch addictions like addicted to buying 100's of underwears or addicted to popping it at the club...so many choices. #goodluck
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    Jan 03, 2013 11:59 AM GMT
    I don't get the troll comments, but thanks everyone else for the feedback.

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    Jan 03, 2013 12:00 PM GMT
    Troll.
    But good for you for 2 hours of bullshit online sexting. I only wish I had two hours to waste on online losers jerking off,
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    Jan 03, 2013 12:51 PM GMT
    this is good that u accept and realise ur fault as we r all human and imperfect in our own way,so just delete all those account and start a new life,and....

    tumblr_m6c6zvidHB1rxbygso1_500.gif
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    Jan 03, 2013 12:59 PM GMT
    blasiankid saidCaa-reeep-eeee

    +1

    Why can't you just read into what he's saying instead? Or better still, leave him alone ?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2013 2:05 PM GMT
    It's not the behavior of a psychopath; it's called love. Stop beating yourself up.
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    Jan 03, 2013 2:34 PM GMT
    Going through someone else's phone is an act of insecurity. I have nothing to hide on my phone. I have no nude pics, I don't have grindr, and I don't sext anyone right now because I'm still in Michigan... and there's no one here. However, if I found someone who I was hanging out with going through my phone, it's goodbye.

    It's a blatant disregard for privacy, a sign of insecurity, and immaturity. If you suspect me of cheating, ask me... ask to see my phone, emails, or anything else your little insecure heart desires. I'm more apt to respect you more for bringing it to my attention than to go behind my back and do things without my permission, but the fact that you don't trust me in the first place will probably drive me away.

    The OP disgusts me. The fact that you found your old ex sexting other people is irrelevant. You have now become THAT guy that will always suspect his partner is cheating, and you'll never be happy with what you have. There's nothing more unattractive than that.
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    Jan 03, 2013 2:40 PM GMT
    Squintz saidGoing through someone else's phone is an act of insecurity. I have nothing to hide on my phone. I have no nude pics, I don't have grindr, and I don't sext anyone right now because I'm still in Michigan... and there's no one here. However, if I found someone who I was hanging out with going through my phone, it's goodbye.

    It's a blatant disregard for privacy, a sign of insecurity, and immaturity. If you suspect me of cheating, ask me... ask to see my phone, emails, or anything else your little insecure heart desires. I'm more apt to respect you more for bringing it to my attention than to go behind my back and do things without my permission, but the fact that you don't trust me in the first place will probably drive me away.

    The OP disgusts me. The fact that you found your old ex sexting other people is irrelevant. You have now become THAT guy that will always suspect his partner is cheating, and you'll never be happy with what you have. There's nothing more unattractive than that.


    I hope you NEVER make a mistake in yur life. Judgemental much? Sheesh.
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    Jan 03, 2013 2:40 PM GMT
    You remind me of the owner who wondered what his cat is doing when he's not around so he made the cat wear the camera

    Paranoia and curiosity can be so destructive

    But in this case your were right so kudos on your hunch