Am I the only one who can;t get a man my own age

  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Jan 03, 2013 6:22 AM GMT
    I seriously don't know what my deal is. I like older men as well as men my own age, but it's so easier to come onto an older man and when I date younger i find myself insecure and intimidated. I kno the one will be closer to my own age, so what do I do?
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jan 03, 2013 6:37 AM GMT
    I can't speak for older men since I am not one. But it seems that many of them have matured beyond the age of caring about body type, ethnicity, and perfection in general. Younger guys want it all. Most of us don't have it all. So we find ourselves uncomfortable around each other. Afraid to screw up. Afraid to be ourselves. Afraid to look the way we do.

    It's pathetic. Fuck younger guys.....that's all they are good for anyway :/
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Jan 03, 2013 6:47 AM GMT
    I've gone on a few dates with guys in there 20s lately and can't keep but thinking negative thoughts during like HE'S NOT GONNA WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN. YOU'RE TOO UGLY. I am not usually this insecure.
  • Kriss

    Posts: 690

    Jan 03, 2013 7:20 AM GMT
    Older guys find me attractive, younger guys find me ugly story of my life. Though all I can say is keep your head up definately someone out there it just takes awhile to find a guy willing to be patient and put alot of the smaller thing aside look at the bigger picture and say you know what in a few years this relationship could be one kick ass bond.
  • Lunastar

    Posts: 328

    Jan 03, 2013 7:37 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidI can't speak for older men since I am not one. But it seems that many of them have matured beyond the age of caring about body type, ethnicity, and perfection in general. Younger guys want it all. Most of us don't have it all. So we find ourselves uncomfortable around each other. Afraid to screw up. Afraid to be ourselves. Afraid to look the way we do.

    It's pathetic. Fuck younger guys.....that's all they are good for anyway :/


    Cheer up, I'd date you in a heartbeat icon_redface.gif
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    Jan 03, 2013 10:23 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidI can't speak for older men since I am not one. But it seems that many of them have matured beyond the age of caring about body type, ethnicity, and perfection in general. Younger guys want it all. Most of us don't have it all. So we find ourselves uncomfortable around each other. Afraid to screw up. Afraid to be ourselves. Afraid to look the way we do.

    It's pathetic. Fuck younger guys.....that's all they are good for anyway :/


    speak for yourself
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    Jan 03, 2013 4:39 PM GMT
    well, it gets even weirder when you get older. i'm practically invisible to guys in the 35-45 year range. it seems that the only guys that'll talk to me are older or younger.
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    Jan 03, 2013 4:46 PM GMT
    imasrxd saidwell, it gets even weirder when you get older. i'm practically invisible to guys in the 35-45 year range. it seems that the only guys that'll talk to me are older or younger.


    I would put the range as 32-42, lol, but I know exactly what you're talking about. I've posted about it before.

    My theory is that young guys never appreciate how good they look, and for them older guys also can represent a degree of success and stability. As they age into their 30s, they hit their physical primes and also start gaining an adult degree of confidence in themselves. They don't have time for anyone who doesn't radiate the same level of perfection. As guys age into their 40s, not only does mother nature start taking its toll, but that extreme level of self-confidence gets tattered. In other words, we start fallling apart physically and get tossed around a little by life, so we get less picky.

    And yes, I'm completely aware that I'm making shit up.
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    Jan 03, 2013 4:47 PM GMT
    Trust me, I have the same issue. The problem with younger people, or the people in our generation is that they have a tendency to only be selfish and in tune with their own needs and focus on their own wants whereas older people are more caring and pay attention to other people's needs as well. Also, people in this generation tend to be more spoiled and consequently more picky about what they will and won't date as they point out every little thing. Older people tend to be a little more lax with that.

    On an upper note, I know it may be difficult but you have to just keep telling yourself that someone worthwhile will come along. That's what I do
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    Jan 03, 2013 4:56 PM GMT
    I can speak for the older guys....since I definitely qualify! Older guys tend to appreciate a younger guy that has energy and a maturity level that allows them to think more broadly about life, the world, people, relationship, just everything. If older guys enjoy you, I'm guessing that it's for these reasons.

    Older guys, in my opinion, shy away from guys who are shallow minded and view a bad hair day as a major crisis. Sure we all whine a little or bitch about the small things but at the end of the day if you can sit and talk about the days events, personal and world, have an adult discussion about a variety of matters, look forward to doing things that range from cultural to physical to social then I think the older guys are going to find you a great catch.
  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    Jan 03, 2013 4:56 PM GMT
    cookingitsweet saidI've gone on a few dates with guys in there 20s lately and can't keep but thinking negative thoughts during like HE'S NOT GONNA WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN. YOU'RE TOO UGLY. I am not usually this insecure.


    The older the I get the more I realize that most gay guys enjoy an abundance of insecurities. You are in no way, shape, or form an ugly or unattractive man.
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    Jan 03, 2013 4:57 PM GMT
    CityofDreams said
    cookingitsweet saidI've gone on a few dates with guys in there 20s lately and can't keep but thinking negative thoughts during like HE'S NOT GONNA WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN. YOU'RE TOO UGLY. I am not usually this insecure.


    The older the I get the more I realize that most gay guys enjoy an abundance of insecurities. You are in no way, shape, or form an ugly or unattractive man.


    Fits in with my unscientific theory. Guys in their 20s often don't have a really good sense of how attractive they are.
  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    Jan 03, 2013 4:57 PM GMT
    eb925guy saidI can speak for the older guys....since I definitely qualify! Older guys tend to appreciate a younger guy that has energy and a maturity level that allows them to think more broadly about life, the world, people, relationship, just everything. If older guys enjoy you, I'm guessing that it's for these reasons.

    Older guys, in my opinion, shy away from guys who are shallow minded and view a bad hair day as a major crisis. Sure we all whine a little or bitch about the small things but at the end of the day if you can sit and talk about the days events, personal and world, have an adult discussion about a variety of matters, look forward to doing things that range from cultural to physical to social then I think the older guys are going to find you a great catch.


    Hence why I usually attract older guys...I am 25, going on 50. I have always been an old soul.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Jan 03, 2013 5:08 PM GMT
    Living in Palm Springs area, I see a lot of older guys, who thought they were hot stuff when they were younger, and felt they didn't have to improve anything other than their bodies. Well, now in their 60s they are usually single and working as clerks at Starbucks, waiters or greaters and have roommates. Be careful out there it gets nasty when you age and haven't had a plan earlier in life.
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    Jan 03, 2013 5:10 PM GMT
    I just recently started dating again and it seems like a lot of the guys that are interested in me are younger for some reason. When I was younger I felt like guys my age weren't that in to me but I got interest from older guys. I'm not seeking younger I actually prefer my age or older... For me it's a maturity thing but I do have a hard time seeing myself with these really young guys that show interest, maybe it's my own hang up...
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    Jan 03, 2013 5:19 PM GMT
    In this way, you can consider yourself a bit typecast by some of the guys you're looking to date. Unknowingly being categorized by some aspect of your appearance you wouldn't otherwise consider. Not trying to make you uber self conscious, but just well enough aware that some people are attracted to you and some not, cause you're a bear or cub in their eyes. You know what I mean? Age might be an issues, might not. Should also consider finding guys in different social settings, like cafes and whatnot to see if that helps you expand your date-ability with the guys you like. For the longest time, I was only appealing to older guys, until I hit my late 20's... but that is a different story. Still don't see the appeal of younger looking guys. I prefer older looking for some odd reason. icon_razz.gificon_cool.gificon_wink.gif
  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    Jan 03, 2013 5:20 PM GMT
    MICHAEL_AMIR said
    TheBizMan saidBut it seems that many of them have matured beyond the age of caring about body type, ethnicity, and perfection in general.


    Yeah which is why they are over-weight and have fetishes lol


    Judgmental much???
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    Jan 03, 2013 5:21 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]TheBizMan said[/cite] But it seems that many of them have matured beyond the age of caring about body type, ethnicity, and perfection in general./quote]

    Oh I am SO takin you down! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Jan 03, 2013 5:32 PM GMT
    TheBizMan saidI can't speak for older men since I am not one. But it seems that many of them have matured beyond the age of caring about body type, ethnicity, and perfection in general.


    Maybe you're being optimistic... People do what they can do... as we age, rejection increases and this leaves less and less room for people to exert choice. Do older guys throw their standards to the wind? Maybe it's the simple fact that they can't exert all their standards in the first place. You know there is no virtue without temptation...
  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    Jan 03, 2013 5:40 PM GMT
    MICHAEL_AMIR said
    CityofDreams said
    MICHAEL_AMIR said
    TheBizMan saidBut it seems that many of them have matured beyond the age of caring about body type, ethnicity, and perfection in general.


    Yeah which is why they are over-weight and have fetishes lol


    Judgmental much???


    Growing up I was always told, "the truth hurts but love shouldn't". I agree. It hurts to be in a relationship with someone fat, old, ugly, and not my ethnic preference... I can't help the way I naturally feel...

    ReggieShrug.gif


    Then don't date them, if they aren't your preference.
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    Jan 03, 2013 5:57 PM GMT
    cookingitsweet saidI've gone on a few dates with guys in there 20s lately and can't keep but thinking negative thoughts during like HE'S NOT GONNA WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN. YOU'RE TOO UGLY. I am not usually this insecure.


    "Change the channel" on negative programming and be realistic regarding your self. Being realistic (neither overestimating nor underestimating) about yourself is fundamental to a real sense of self-confidence and self-esteem.

    Acknowledging and accepting who you are, what you are (and aren't) can allow you to find your "comfort zone". The process also helps to build awareness that others aren't any more "perfect" than anybody else.

    Be happy with "you" first...then go for the hottest one's in the pond!
  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    Jan 03, 2013 5:58 PM GMT
    MICHAEL_AMIR said
    CityofDreams said
    MICHAEL_AMIR said
    CityofDreams said
    MICHAEL_AMIR said
    TheBizMan saidBut it seems that many of them have matured beyond the age of caring about body type, ethnicity, and perfection in general.


    Yeah which is why they are over-weight and have fetishes lol


    Judgmental much???


    Growing up I was always told, "the truth hurts but love shouldn't". I agree. It hurts to be in a relationship with someone fat, old, ugly, and not my ethnic preference... I can't help the way I naturally feel...

    ReggieShrug.gif


    Then don't date them, if they aren't your preference.


    I don't.

    tumblr_lqam6ee61l1qf1vhd.gif


    And they are better off without you.
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    Jan 03, 2013 6:00 PM GMT
    MrBrightEyes saidI just recently started dating again and it seems like a lot of the guys that are interested in me are younger for some reason. When I was younger I felt like guys my age weren't that in to me but I got interest from older guys. I'm not seeking younger I actually prefer my age or older... For me it's a maturity thing but I do have a hard time seeing myself with these really young guys that show interest, maybe it's my own hang up...

    I just want to say there are those rotten eggs in both age group. Its just the percentage that may vary. Yeah you will find too many young unmatured guys but there are many matured ones. Its the same with older guys also. Even though I find myself quite often attracted to guys bit older than me but it isn't for this maturity thing. Its just I find their facial and physical attribute that attracts me. I have been around with younger mature guys and generally stay away from the typical young guys. So I would just say just try them on both sides of your age, older and younger.
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    Jan 03, 2013 6:02 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]MICHAEL_AMIR said[/cite]
    CityofDreams said
    MICHAEL_AMIR said
    TheBizMan saidBut it seems that many of them have matured beyond the age of caring about body type, ethnicity, and perfection in general.

    Yeah which is why they are over-weight and have fetishes lol

    Judgmental much???

    Growing up I was always told, "the truth hurts but love shouldn't". I agree. It hurts to be in a relationship with someone fat, old, ugly, and not my ethnic preference... I can't help the way I naturally feel...

    True, you can't help the way that you feel.... BUT, careful on the projecting how you view older men..... some of us are already there.... and know what we look like, how our bodies have matured, faces have aged (and quite gracefully) and the anxiety of wondering what it'll be like (aging) has lost it's grip of fear!!! Whereas you have no clue what the next 25-30 has in store for you.... you haven't the faintest idea what you'll look like in those upcoming 25-30 years.. It's not as far off into the future as you may think!!! Just sayin'.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 03, 2013 6:04 PM GMT
    Personally I don't see why you would want to date a young guy. Older guys tend to be much hotter, not to mention the other perks that people have mentioned (maturity and security.). Then again, you have to stop negative thinking if you are going to date anyone young and old.