1) don't be desperate. you have to be happy with yourself and be cool with being alone. just work on yourself making yourself a great awesome guy... once you don't "have to" find someone... you will. you'll be like a magnet for really nice guys... or
2) figure out what twisted fetish you're into and look for a match
3) just watch sex and the city... seriously... they covered everything
and get out of the closet as soon as you can based on your situation of course... not healthy...
reminds me about a trip to paris i was on a few years ago... i was traveling with a gay buddy and we were walking along a side street in paris at night... we were looking for the gay section and were kind of lost... he was complaining about being alone, as he always does... he asked advice and i was telling him (#1) you need to be comfortable with yourself and then you'll find friends, companionship or "the guy" and i swear as soon as i finished the sentence i hear my name called out of the darkness... "dominique"... (my name is domenic)
i turn around and see a man in a hoodie... his face was in shadow... i reply "yes?"... he removes the hood from his head like obie wan kenobie in star wars 1 or 4 if you count the new ones... anyway... it's my french friend bruno from LA (where i'm from)... the friend i was with was like "you gotta be fucking kidding me" lol...
bruno and i spent a lot of time together after that... he showed us the gay section and around town and it was great... ... true story... prob doesn't help you but just made me think of that