Hot List Etiquette

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:23 PM GMT
    When you've added someone to your hot list do you expect to at least get a thank you response in return?
    When you've been added, do you take the time to respond, even if it's a simple thank you?

    I think it's say s alot if someone can't take 10 seconds to send a thank you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:29 PM GMT
    No.

    Because I am pretty sure that if I interacted with most of the people who have hotlisted me they'd be turned off. I can be somewhat of an asshole. icon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:38 PM GMT
    why does it matter if you get a thank your or not?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:39 PM GMT
    What if they unhotlist you? Should you say something then as well? Or be humble about it?
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:42 PM GMT
    Claystation saidWhat if they unhotlist you? Should you say something then as well? Or be humble about it?


    I think there should be some sort of financial penalty for that.

    Perhaps legal action...
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 05, 2013 3:43 PM GMT
    It's flattering to be Hotlisted, and I'm sure in some cases feels like a really big deal to the sender, but it's also very impersonal. Its a computer generated message, which can feel like spam among actual emails. My favorite use of email is pm and photo comments.
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:43 PM GMT
    Cash said

    I think there should be some sort of financial penalty for that.

    Perhaps legal action...


    Maybe public humiliation?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:43 PM GMT
    OP,

    I understand how you feel, but everyone is here for a different reason and everyone has different expectations.

    I used to get very defensive about the same things. If I left a photo comment and no one responded, I would get angry.

    The reality is, if you want to hotlist someone or compliment them in a photo comment, that is a gift from you to them. It is up to them how they receive it. Some people receive so many messages that they do not feel it's necessary to respond to each comment. They approve them, then move on. Same with hotlists. Some people get angry if you hotlist them without chatting with them first.

    You just have to find the balance and know that you have made your effort. It might break the ice and open up a conversation, or it might not. At least you will be able to determine who is worth your time and who is not.

    I learned that in the grand scheme of things, this isn't that big of deal.

    Best of luck to you!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:43 PM GMT
    I usually don't expect anything like a response, which is why a lot of times I don't get one, but I always say thank you to anyone who ever hotlists me. Its an honor to me for someone to give you a nice gesture and compliment. I take pride in my appearance and for someone to compliment me on it, I show appreciation.
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:49 PM GMT
    ConQuest saidOP,

    I understand how you feel, but everyone is here for a different reason and everyone has different expectations.

    I used to get very defensive about the same things. If I left a photo comment and no one responded, I would get angry.

    The reality is, if you want to hotlist someone or compliment them in a photo comment, that is a gift from you to them. It is up to them how they receive it. Some people receive so many messages that they do not feel it's necessary to respond to each comment. They approve them, then move on. Same with hotlists. Some people get angry if you hotlist them without chatting with them first.

    You just have to find the balance and know that you have made your effort. It might break the ice and open up a conversation, or it might not. At least you will be able to determine who is worth your time and who is not.

    Best of luck to you!


    But in what context is the hotlist sent too? Did they hotlist someone because they want something more from them? Did they just happen to come across them and think "yeah hes hot"? If someone were to send a thank you. What context is the thank you sent in? A simple appreciation? A hey maybe we could get together thing? Since the hotlist message is sent automatically with no real message in it other than "this person thinks you're hot" then whats a gorl to do?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 05, 2013 3:51 PM GMT
    I'm about to hotlist Clay, so he'll put out.icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:52 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidI'm about to hotlist Clay, so he'll put out.icon_razz.gif


    See I didnt even think of that context. Now am I obliged to put out because he hotlisted me? Is it only for him? Should I send him a n00d?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:53 PM GMT
    ConQuest saidOP,

    I understand how you feel, but everyone is here for a different reason and everyone has different expectations.

    I used to get very defensive about the same things. If I left a photo comment and no one responded, I would get angry.

    The reality is, if you want to hotlist someone or compliment them in a photo comment, that is a gift from you to them. It is up to them how they receive it. Some people receive so many messages that they do not feel it's necessary to respond to each comment. They approve them, then move on. Same with hotlists. Some people get angry if you hotlist them without chatting with them first.

    You just have to find the balance and know that you have made your effort. It might break the ice and open up a conversation, or it might not. At least you will be able to determine who is worth your time and who is not.

    I learned that in the grand scheme of things, this isn't that big of deal.

    Best of luck to you!


    Ditto! I think the chior started singing..lol
  • great_scott

    Posts: 519

    Jan 05, 2013 3:53 PM GMT
    No and no. It's not that serious.
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:54 PM GMT
    Typically I hotlist only people I have interacted with in the forums or through email. Hot bodies are dime a dozen on here - good minds and hearts have to be part of the package.*

    (*Not that getting hotlisted by me or anyone else is a big deal anyway, IMO.)
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 05, 2013 3:54 PM GMT
    Claystation said
    HottJoe saidI'm about to hotlist Clay, so he'll put out.icon_razz.gif


    See I didnt even think of that context. Now am I obliged to put out because he hotlisted me? Is it only for him? Should I send him a n00d?


    N00dz are the minimum. Sometimes you have to actually fly out there and show them your appreciation in person.
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:56 PM GMT
    Tenebrism saidTypically I hotlist only people I have interacted with in the forums or through email. Hot bodies are dime a dozen on here - good minds and hearts have to be part of the package.*

    (*Not that getting hotlisted by me or anyone else is a big deal anyway, IMO.)


    I checked to make sure you are on my hotlist.

    Yes. I have impeccable taste. icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:56 PM GMT
    If someone were to actually hotlist ME (which I think is funny), not only would I send a note of thanks, I'd send a huge box of baked goods, show up at his door and do his laundry for the week.
  • tigrisblue

    Posts: 113

    Jan 05, 2013 3:57 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Claystation said
    HottJoe saidI'm about to hotlist Clay, so he'll put out.icon_razz.gif


    See I didnt even think of that context. Now am I obliged to put out because he hotlisted me? Is it only for him? Should I send him a n00d?


    N00dz are the minimum. Sometimes you have to actually fly out there and show them your appreciation in person.


    I totes just hotlisted Clay with that expectation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:57 PM GMT
    ConQuest said
    Tenebrism saidTypically I hotlist only people I have interacted with in the forums or through email. Hot bodies are dime a dozen on here - good minds and hearts have to be part of the package.*

    (*Not that getting hotlisted by me or anyone else is a big deal anyway, IMO.)


    I checked to make sure you are on my hotlist.

    Yes. I have impeccable taste. icon_cool.gif
    Or an exceptionally old eyeglass prescription. icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:57 PM GMT
    I would say it's not a big deal hotlisting and getting one. It's equivalent to someone liking something on fb to me (except this case it's just your whole profile).

    Comparing it to something irl makes me think about it sometimes, but this isn't real life and anyway, if a hotlister really wanted a response shouldn't they just send a message?
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:58 PM GMT
    HottJoe said

    N00dz are the minimum. Sometimes you have to actually fly out there and show them your appreciation in person.


    See, now I have to invest in the hotlisting. I have to fly out, show appreciation in person. Does this mean I care more than someone who just sends a measly "thank you" message? Why do I have to go above and beyond?

    This is why I dont respond, can you imagine.

    Them: "hes hot I'm gonna put him on my hotlist"

    Me: "Thank you for the hotlist"

    Them: "When does your flight get here so I can pick you up?"

    Me: icon_eek.gif
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:58 PM GMT
    snowman3 saidIf someone were to actually hotlist ME (which I think is funny), not only would I send a note of thanks, I'd send a huge box of baked goods, show up at his door and do his laundry for the week.
    I'll email you my address and preferences for baked goods. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2013 3:59 PM GMT
    great_scott saidNo and no. It's not that serious.


    Agree. Besides, a hot listing is not really directly communicating with someone. For that, take the extra few seconds and sent something personal.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 05, 2013 4:00 PM GMT
    Tenebrism said
    snowman3 saidIf someone were to actually hotlist ME (which I think is funny), not only would I send a note of thanks, I'd send a huge box of baked goods, show up at his door and do his laundry for the week.
    I'll email you my address and preferences for baked goods. icon_biggrin.gif

    Consider it done!