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Does anyone else deal with this? I know that everyone has social anxiety or uncertainty during social interactions to an extent. Mine feels pretty limiting at times. I just can't seem to relax and have a good time in a lot of social situations, especially if I'm in a bar or club, or in a group above a certain number of people. Sometimes it feels paralyzing to the point where it takes someone speaking to me to snap me out of it. It's like I want to interact, but I forget how. I don't want to be viewed as the uptight and standoffish guy anymore.

Anyone have any coping mechanisms that they find might help alleviate some of the stress?

I'm not like this in interactions as far as work, school, and other day to day things go.

Thanks

I've dealt with this. I helps to put yourself out there little by little to realize that your worst case scenario probably won't happen and if it does you can handle it.
There is a book called " Dying of Embarrassment" (I forget the author's name) which was helpful. At one point it tells you to trip on purpose in front of a group of people....I haven't done that one yet.

Not being a therapist or having stayed at a Holiday Inn Express I would guess that you need to become more at peace with yourself. When you really believe in yourself then other people's opinions can't possibly harm you. If you know their opinions or comments can't harm you then you are no longer scared to interact. In contrast, if your self-esteem is tied to what other people think then you will always feel vulnerable in a social situation.

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It helps when you're with good friends, I guess. I get to be myself around them. But when alone and surrounded by people you don't know with whom you are supposed to interact with... especially have fun with (parties, bars, and whatnot) I get all stiff and shit. It's the fear of rejection I think. :/

Oh My God!
Runninchlt, you have described me to a T. I zone out so bad. I can hear people talking but I can't figure out what they are saying. When I know that I have to go to a function I try to think of anything to get out of it. It is so bad I get really sick in my stomach and I start sweating. Once I am there it is like you said I become paralyzed. I don't know what to say or do. I feel like I want to go off into a corner and hide. Luckily my partner is very outgoing. That can be good or bad. I find that I usually stand by and let him do all of the talking, unless I've had a few drinks.

When I had social anxiety, I was proscribed Prozac. Since the Prozac caused me sexual problems, the psychiatrist changed it to Wellbutrin, which has no sexual side effects.
Once I was relaxed enough to behave socially comfortable, I got to experience how it felt, and realized the anxiety was unneeded and caused me much angst!
Just a thought.

I constantly try to push my boundries on social anxiety .....

I try to surround myself with my close best friends. They are like safety blanket for me. As I become thinner and more fit I do believe that will resolve to be a lot easier.

Make myself just get out there and try new things and have a great time.

Thank you for the input guys. Debated for a few days on what to write, it's really a combination of factors. But it's mostly situational. I think I'll be ok, it impacts me for a minimal amount of time. I'll take progression in small steps I suppose. I don't think it really warrants going on meds or anything like that. I think the problem is more inside my own head than anything else.

GeorgeE saidOh My God!
Runninchlt, you have described me to a T. I zone out so bad. I can hear people talking but I can't figure out what they are saying. When I know that I have to go to a function I try to think of anything to get out of it. It is so bad I get really sick in my stomach and I start sweating. Once I am there it is like you said I become paralyzed. I don't know what to say or do. I feel like I want to go off into a corner and hide. Luckily my partner is very outgoing. That can be good or bad. I find that I usually stand by and let him do all of the talking, unless I've had a few drinks.

Nausea and sweating are seen in panic attacks associated with social phobias. Professional medical help may be indicated, since this exceeds the normal range for ordinary "shyness" or insecurity. Someone who worked for me had this problem, and would become physically sick in social situations. She was prescribed Wellbutrin, which was moderately effective, though not without some side effects.

I would recommend remembering where you do feel socially comfortable. Simply having a touchstone of a place and setting can help you transfer that calmness to a new area. Building up those social skills in other settings and then putting them in the bars is an excellent strategy.

Going a bit deeper, bell hooks said, "All is union and reunion." The Buddhist scholars that I read and admire all see interconnectedness and social relationships as continuous, and merely ebbing and flowing with who we feel comfortable with at the time. Holding the thought that we are all inseparable, that we cannot exist without this whole universe supporting us, makes introductions and flirting all the easier. What don't two people have in common? Social anxiety, from their and my perspective, holds that the fear that we cannot relate to others comes with forgetting that we have so much in common with others, and they with us.

I've dealt with this with a Psychiatrist and counselor and still have some issues. I don't remember what medication I tried--Effexor, I think. It didn't seem to do much, and coming off of it was really annoying.

My "freeze-up" moment in social settings is seeing a crowded room where everyone seems to be talking to each other. I panic not knowing how to "insert" myself properly and how to introduce myself. Clearly I would make a horrible outside sales person.

Brady527 saidI would recommend remembering where you do feel socially comfortable. Simply having a touchstone of a place and setting can help you transfer that calmness to a new area. Building up those social skills in other settings and then putting them in the bars is an excellent strategy.

Going a bit deeper, bell hooks said, "All is union and reunion." The Buddhist scholars that I read and admire all see interconnectedness and social relationships as continuous, and merely ebbing and flowing with who we feel comfortable with at the time. Holding the thought that we are all inseparable, that we cannot exist without this whole universe supporting us, makes introductions and flirting all the easier. What don't two people have in common? Social anxiety, from their and my perspective, holds that the fear that we cannot relate to others comes with forgetting that we have so much in common with others, and they with us.

i like this. thank you for posting.

Anytime. Hope you are doing well and drop a line if you ever need some more support. Go out there and knock 'em dead.

:-)