FORUMS > Dating & Relationships Forum Rules

Boy wonder here again. This is to guys out there dating. For safety sake does anyone feel there should be a minimum amount of time, days weeks or months between the last time you had sex with a guy and the time you are now planning on? I think it is 3 months for trully accurate Hiv results. Don't remember the incubation period for all the other STD's. Probably less than a month. I'd hope a guy I'd meet would wait at least a month, after the last guy.

Fullknob,
Just to clarify - do you mean, if one does NOT practice safer sex (no condoms and exchanges body fluids) how long should one go in between sexual encounters before one can safely say they are did not get HIV infected or infected with syphilis, gonorrhea, genital warts, herpes, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, and other STDS like LGV and chancroid?

Not sure i understand your question.

Jeez I must be a slut. Yeah I forgot one doesn't have to swap spit, cum or rim to have sex. But those are the only ways I'm concerned about. If the herpes sore is at the base of the penis, a condom might not prevent you from getting it. I hope someone will say they have some personal preferences about this even if they break there own rules once in a while.

Well, before the last three months and a regular dating partner...I went 2.5 years...

- David

Hmmmmm...lemme see, what time is it?

11 years here.

Wow... how sad that someone would actually ask this question. If you are being safe, I wouldn't worry at all about it. Even if you've been unsafe, you can't undue what's been done, so if you're really worried, see your doctor, get tested for whatever you're worried about, then be done with it.

Life is way to short to sit around worrying about things you can't change.

4 yrs

Id actually like to learn how to fight better for real. I need to be able to defend myself. I need to get back in good shape. Most folks think Im straight. but i correct that quickly if its more than an very light aquaintance. I have a thing for young dudes and straight at that. tends to get me in trouble at times. Need to know a little self defense. Ive been in a few fights. didn't do to well but i wont give up. i am rather agressive so i can draw anger at times. almost all my friends are straight. Not sure why, in fact i dont think I have any gay friends. But I just need some pointers in fighting skills so stupid people can just say no if they dont want me to try to touch their penis. if they act like saying no has to be backed up by some tough action I might come out better in some of those situations if I had a little training. oh and the last time I got laid was two weeks ago and he was 20, straight. (what ever that means anymore.) I think about 30 percent of all guys would do it just cause guys are nasty by nature and like to do perverted stuff. who better to try out some wierd shit than with your jerk off buddy. guys are just tri-sexual I think. depends on the guy but there are straight guys who get a dominance kick out of having a queer suck his balls and ass.

3 yrs 2 months since my ex only been with 10 guys 2 were not bf's.
clean neg ddf std free as well.

Well, I get what you're saying. You can still get something even when wearing a condom.

" They do protect, but accidents happen. If the condom breaks, then that can spread. Even if it's something as simple as him touching himself while putting on the condom and touching you (that's not the condom failing, but it's something people might not notice). Or in general, contact can sometimes can still happen despite the condom. It really depends (condoms can have faults too). But at this point, the condom is the only one that provides some form of protection towards STIs and Aids."

Condoms do not prevent, they only reduce. There is always a chance. I think everyone should get tested between guys/girls.

And I noticed someone said life is too short to worry about things you can't change. You're right, if you don't protect yourself properly, then life will be too short to think about these things.

Always a practicer of safe sex. As of now it's been a year and 4 months since anything fun has come my way and I'm fine with those numbers.

If you have practiced unsafe sex then you should make the effort to correct the situation. Get tested and stay in the "know" of things and also make sure your partner or partners knows. Open communication is a great thing.

Life is never too short to change things that could effect others.

Practicing safe sex should never even be a question

unless you are in a monogamous relationship and you know that individuals sexual history safe sex is a must

as far as the last time for me?

I was on vacation a few weeks ago ... But I've been known to have dry spells for a few months at a time
But Quality always surpasses quantity at least for me

Special thanks to lilmaninsc for being the 1st guy to really get at the issue I'll trying to poll here. And he is 23, that just gives me hope for gay /bisexual mankind. I'm just looking to see what the general standards of gay men are these days. In the 80's I was with a different guy every friday and saturday night for a few weeks until it made me numb emotionally and I stopped that. Today I'd like to think that besides condom use, that guys are also considering an amount of time to make sure you didn't get anything from your last encounter before having sex with another guy. I'm not suggesting any standards. Just like to know if guys think about it or have talked to their sex buddies and what would guys like other guys to do to protect them.

ps I went at least 12 years celibate. Probably never again on purpose. But although related to endurance, that is another thread.

Well there are normally two modes of action I will take:
I have never gotten a call from anyone saying I gave them an STD, and in general I try to avoid this.It really depends on the arena though:

The shady-risk arena:

Lets be honest, this is the arena that revolves around hookup sites, and saunas, and video arcades, etc. I'm not partial to all of these places for sex, but I will dabble on the hookup sites when I'm in that mode. Been to saunas outside of the states. You know the rules of this arena. Its basically buyer beware, and you can get an std via a blow job, or frottage. I try to be as safe as possible, but once in a while, i'll do something a little risky (like finger someone), or let someone go down on me really deep. The most frequent I've hooked up is 5 times a week for X amount of weeks (i'm not saying). The average though was 2 times a week. And if i had any type of symptoms, I'd stop.

The high ground arena:
These days: I normally wait around 2 weeks, just to knock out the high risk STDS (the ones that normally would show by then). This arena involves some sort of date situation or a more "social hookup". I find it makes the sex better, even if it is temporary. For the stds that take up to a month to show, I'd just have to apologize about if i passed it on to someone. I still try to be as safe as possible, but I'm partial to some things, fingers, etc.

It took a couple of rounds of the shady arena to get me to this point. I normally don't mix the two different modes. I'm either playing or "dating". Of course when I'm in a relationship its a whole different cup of tea.
That's how i do it.

Last time I have sex... about 3 days ago. I go for a massage , and he finish me off by rubbing his dick to mine and let me touch/stroke his penis.. No penetration , no oral.. I touch him,he touch me , I reach my climax pay him his fee and go home.

Well, I practice safe sex now as I don't have a BF; the last time was yesterday. I get checked for HIV from time to time and had the full panel tests last year.
When I am in a BF relationship we get tested and wait the necessary time before having unprotected sex.

just get testing on a regular basis

Why do there have to be rules with everything? I'm not checking my fuck-o-meter when I meet someone new. I do believe if you have multiple anonymous sex partners in one week then you have a problem, but aside from that safe sex is usually a good measure.

Just wearing a condom during intercourse is one thing, but avoiding scandalous ho's that you meet a the park or getting a quick bj at a porn-shack is usually asking for trouble.

Avoid risky behavior, be honest and respectful and don't settle for anything less then honesty and respect in return, now add that to normal safe sex practice and you should be good to go.

Oh ya...get tested. Duh!

how do some go without sex for more than a year?

OMG, I think I'm a slut (not really).

But I'm dating a virgin, and we've planned to wait until he feels he is ready and I'm willing to wait as long as it takes.

I don't think I've ever gone more than a week without sex with someone. I'm not that fussy. Any hole's a goal.

I don't want to be on my death bed and think "oh, I wish I hadn't had so much sex".

What is this "SEX" that you speak of?

luc21_83 saidWhy do there have to be rules with everything? I'm not checking my fuck-o-meter when I meet someone new. I do believe if you have multiple anonymous sex partners in one week then you have a problem, but aside from that safe sex is usually a good measure.

Just wearing a condom during intercourse is one thing, but avoiding scandalous ho's that you meet a the park or getting a quick bj at a porn-shack is usually asking for trouble.

Avoid risky behavior, be honest and respectful and don't settle for anything less then honesty and respect in return, now add that to normal safe sex practice and you should be good to go.

Oh ya...get tested. Duh!

Well no one says there has to be a rule, we are just exchanging thoughts on pratices. Some people do or are into risky behavior. And even if you don't, it doesn't mean you wont catch an STD regardless. Its good to know because ... if you were thinking about dabbling, you can see how a certain group of people react: I have as much sex as possible, don't really care about consequences vs. other groups that think: OK I'll protect myself and my partners by waiting X amount of time just in case.

Get tested ... is good, but how many times can you get tested? Can you get tested after every hookup?

I assume everybody has everything and act accordingly. So it doesn't concern me if he just got laid an hour ago or 10 years prior. It's his body, he can do what he wants with it. I may or may not make the same choice, but if it's just sex than so what? If dating becomes exclusive, then we talk about sexual history and get tested to see if and when we can ditch the condoms.

GQjock saidPracticing safe sex should never even be a question

unless you are in a monogamous relationship and you know that individuals sexual history safe sex is a must

as far as the last time for me?

I was on vacation a few weeks ago ... But I've been known to have dry spells for a few months at a time
But Quality always surpasses quantity at least for me

I agree for the most part, I think it should be ALWAYS on practicing safe sex!! So many men and woman, in quote unquote monogamous relationships, have ended up with std's and hiv.

I had sex with a guy this past Saturday morning...
Well not so much "with him", since I was at my house and he was at his, but I'm pretty sure we were both jacking off - online - at the same time.

Who knew modern technology could bring the world so much closer and in such a way.

You can get an oral STD and not even intend to exchange bodily fluids. It can happen if the man's penis has some "pesky critter" which can be leaked out through pre-ejaculatory fluids.

Oh and the chances are low but if a person has an oral STD there exists the chance of contracting it by deep wet kissing.

I'm pretty sure the only things you can get from kissing are herpes simplex, mononucleosis and cold or flu

Been 4 months since my last romp in the hay...it was with my last partner...we were together for 5 years...last time we had sex was on my b-day...man we had awesome sex...i miss it...lol and him of course...