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How do you initiate a kiss?
DiverScience Posts: 951	Sep 22, 2008 1:33 PM GMT Quote So a couple friends and I ended up in an odd conversation the other day (I guess this happens when you don't get out much). The question was, "How do you initiate a kiss on the first date?" Suggestions included "Just lean in and hope" and "When you hug pull him into a kiss." This then shifted to a discussion about who was supposed to do the initiation. Some said whoever wanted it, others said no it should be the one who wanted to be the "top" etc. Thoughts? I hadn't expected it to be as diverse in opinion as it was, so I thought I'd ask here and see what people thought/did.

Timberoo Posts: 2847	Sep 22, 2008 1:50 PM GMT Quote For me it's a slow lean in after looking at his mouth.
DiverScience Posts: 951	Sep 22, 2008 2:00 PM GMT Quote Timberoo saidFor me it's a slow lean in after looking at his mouth. And hope he cues on what you're doing?
Hidden/Deleted Member	Sep 22, 2008 2:26 PM GMT Quote I've been sitting here thinking about this for a few minutes. I feel like there are a lot of subtle, non-verbal cues that tell me when a guy wants to be kissed. For me, a first kiss usually happens at the end of a date that went particularly well. Usually there are signs throughout the date. He might brush up against me a lot, or finds excuses to come in contact with me (my hand might linger on his waist when I gesture for him to come walk with me, his hand might linger on my arm); or I might see him looking me up and down, or whatever. Then, when saying goodbye, I can usually tell if he's ready for / expecting a kiss. (He usually expects me to initiate it, for some reason) But there are differences: we stand a little closer together when saying our goodbyes, there is a moment's hesitation after saying the actual words during which we are just smiling and making eye contact. That's the point where I just step forward, usually put my arm on his waist or bring him closer to me by putting my hand on his lower back, and kiss him.
HighVoltageGu... Posts: 1289	Sep 22, 2008 2:26 PM GMT Quote I've just always gone in for a kiss. If it wasn't meant to be...oh well. Not to brag or anything...ok...I'm bragging...but I've never been turned down a kiss. I'll usually look the guy in the eye intently, slowly move in, and when he closes his eyes...GO IN FOR THE KILL!
Aquanerd Posts: 337	Sep 22, 2008 2:27 PM GMT Quote DiverScience saidSome said whoever wanted it, others said no it should be the one who wanted to be the "top" etc. Wow! DivSci, I realize that it you didn't take credit or that suggestion. But my first reaction to this OP was, guys haven't even gotten a kiss and they are setting up "roles." Timberoo, I agree with you, if I'm on a date that is going well, and I feel like kissing the guy, then I'm going to make a move, and look for his signs to determine how to go. That's when the heart starts pounding, the excitement of discovering how the other guy feels as well, not just about you, but intimacy in general. XOXO, or xoxo, or xxxx, or x, or "oh never mind."
DiverScience Posts: 951	Sep 22, 2008 2:30 PM GMT Quote GregStevensTX saidI've been sitting here thinking about this for a few minutes. I feel like there are a lot of subtle, non-verbal cues that tell me when a guy wants to be kissed. For me, a first kiss usually happens at the end of a date that went particularly well. Usually there are signs throughout the date. He might brush up against me a lot, or finds excuses to come in contact with me (my hand might linger on his waist when I gesture for him to come walk with me, his hand might linger on my arm); or I might see him looking me up and down, or whatever. Then, when saying goodbye, I can usually tell if he's ready for / expecting a kiss. (He usually expects me to initiate it, for some reason) But there are differences: we stand a little closer together when saying our goodbyes, there is a moment's hesitation after saying the actual words during which we are just smiling and making eye contact. That's the point where I just step forward, usually put my arm on his waist or bring him closer to me by putting my hand on his lower back, and kiss him. ::nods:: Sounds logical. Some of my friends seemed to think it was far more... calculated. Your version sounds much more romantic.
Hidden/Deleted Member	Sep 22, 2008 2:45 PM GMT Quote Aquanerd: The roles issue is complex. My person view is that there is nothing wrong with establishing some roles in a relationship as long as they are not too rigid, too proscribed by just one person in the relationship, and as long as they are not used as a way for one (or both) to make excuses for hypocrasy or inequality in the relationship. I've gotten used to and comfortable with the fact that I'm expected to make the first move, romantically and sexually, by a lot of people. (probably related to the whole "top" thing.) I have no problem with that. HOWEVER, I've dated guys who have had the attitude that (sexually) I have to do all kinds of romantic things to them in the mood, while they expect me to be ready to fuck them any time they are ready to get fucked and if I'm "not in the mood" then there is something wrong with ME. that kind of role hypocrasy is just annoying.
Jockbod48 Posts: 1529	Sep 22, 2008 2:51 PM GMT Quote All good advice above - and here's what I do: Look into his eyes, smile, then lean in closer - slowly. Now - try some casual touching - for intimacy. Tilt your head, moisten your lips, close your eyes - and go for the kiss - proceed until you reach an impasse. Don't release too soon - and when you do - look into his eyes again, smile to let him know you liked it.
SILVERFOX1 Posts: 269	Sep 22, 2008 3:22 PM GMT Quote Jockbod48 saidAll good advice above - and here's what I do: . Don't release too soon - and when you do - look into his eyes again, smile to let him know you liked it. Unless of course...you didn't like it. In this case, look into his eyes, make a sour face, and then, scream "YUK!!!!!!!"
DiverScience Posts: 951	Sep 22, 2008 3:24 PM GMT Quote Aquanerd said Wow! DivSci, I realize that it you didn't take credit or that suggestion. But my first reaction to this OP was, guys haven't even gotten a kiss and they are setting up "roles." I thought that assertion was rather silly myself. But apparently some people thought that it was disingenuous not too. That waiting for it was too "passive" and would set up the expectation that you'd be the passive partner in any sexual interaction as well.
redheadguy Posts: 2262	Sep 22, 2008 3:25 PM GMT Quote I went on a date recently (ok, nothing new there) and I thought I was getting on well with him. We're chatting, having a drink, more chatting, casually touching each other's arms, yada yada yada. So, I think, this is it, it's time, I'll go in for the kill. I look into his eyes, I smile, I lean over to kiss him... and he turns away. Yep, it was my very own Princess Diana moment. I felt pretty stupid after that, thinking how did I read the signs so wrong. Anyway, we've not been in touch since. Win some you lose some.
DiverScience Posts: 951	Sep 22, 2008 3:26 PM GMT Quote silverfox1 said Unless of course...you didn't like it. In this case, look into his eyes, make a sour face, and then, scream "YUK!!!!!!!" "YOU GAVE ME GAY COOTIES!"
redheadguy Posts: 2262	Sep 22, 2008 3:41 PM GMT Quote Today I have learnt that if you initiate the first kiss then you are the top. Hmm. Interesting. And if you don't initiate anything then you get a text message asking you whether you're interested or not. Hmm. These things are never easy as ABC.
Sedative Posts: 5545	Sep 22, 2008 4:12 PM GMT Quote Play gay chicken with someone who doesn't know I'm gay and what I do to chickens.
CuriousJockAZ Posts: 2329	Sep 22, 2008 4:13 PM GMT Quote It's simple -- I just lean in close and ask "Can I kiss you?" -- works like a charm
innerathlete Posts: 507	Sep 22, 2008 4:32 PM GMT Quote GregStevensTX said HOWEVER, I've dated guys who have had the attitude that (sexually) I have to do all kinds of romantic things to them in the mood, while they expect me to be ready to fuck them any time they are ready to get fucked and if I'm "not in the mood" then there is something wrong with ME. that kind of role hypocrasy is just annoying. I agree there has to be give-and-take no matter what the given "roles" might be. I can be hard-to-get and definitely hard to read - it works for me in a lot of ways because it leaves guys wanting to know more - but I've learned that it does require me to often make the first move. Guys don't want to be rejected or have their egos shot down. And the fact it is, if I'm going to be a little bit of a mystery, then I have to pony up at key points along the way and let him know how I'm feeling. It sucks because I am shy but also kind of exciting. As far as when...you just know. If it comes time to say goodbye and neither one is definitively moving to leave and you're both looking at each other, well...
Red_Vespa Posts: 1525	Sep 22, 2008 4:38 PM GMT Quote Kissing: if I have to think about it first, then I'm not sufficiently motivated. And if I'm sufficiently motivated, then it happens before I can think about it. At least in a romantic situation, as opposed to social kisses. A slightly related personal anecdote about initiating a kiss: I was in deep denial until age 45, convinced that I was straight. But beginning at about 43, a very strange thing started happening to me. I'd be sitting in a military staff meeting, most of the other senior officers around the conference table being men. At some lull in the meeting I'd find myself staring at the man next to me, studying his face in profile. And then, without warning, I'd involuntarily lunge at him to give him a kiss!!! I always managed to catch myself before I'd gone more than a few inches towards the guy, and I never actually touched anyone. My career would have ended that second if I had. The first time it happened I was totally stunned. "What the hell was THAT?" I thought to myself. "I was actually going to kiss him!" When it happened again at some later meeting I got really scared, having no explanation for what was going on, why it was happening like a knee-jerk reaction without warning, and knowing the great danger I was placing myself in. My little "spasms" were finally noticed one day, but I had already prepared an explanation, one of several about dropping my pen or something, or reaching for the water carafe. I was never called on it. Within 6 months of my retirement at 45 I came out; you might even say I rushed out. And I wonder if that strange behavior, which has never again occurred, was caused by the mounting gay pressure inside of me. I still don't know what it was all about, and in sharing this story before, others tell me they've never heard of such a thing. Maybe I was just having my own personal psychotic moments, who knows. Anyone on RJ ever hear of this?
muchmorethanm... Posts: 2788	Sep 22, 2008 4:39 PM GMT Quote A big confidence booster for me is to go on first dates with my nifty miniaturized version of a seal clubber. After I club them over the head they're pretty much unconscious and then I go and make my move. I've never had anyone reject me thus far.
Red_Vespa Posts: 1525	Sep 22, 2008 4:43 PM GMT Quote muchmorethanmuscle saidA big confidence booster for me is to go on first dates with my nifty miniaturized version of a seal clubber. After I club them over the head they're pretty much unconscious and then I go and make my move. I've never had anyone reject me thus far. Do these guys also have those big, black seal eyes? How COULD you! LOL!
aagerry Posts: 51	Sep 22, 2008 4:48 PM GMT Quote CuriousJockAZ saidIt's simple -- I just lean in close and ask "Can I kiss you?" -- works like a charm Just exactly what I did on a date last night! Unfortunately, I don't think things will work out with the guy, but at least it was fun!
GobB Posts: 779	Sep 22, 2008 4:49 PM GMT Quote CuriousJockAZ saidIt's simple -- I just lean in close and ask "Can I kiss you?" -- works like a charm Wow Curious... finally we see eye to eye on something LOL. This is what I do as well. I dont do well with signs and games and all that crap so I simply ask if I can get a kiss. As Curious stated "works like a charm".
gumbosolo Posts: 105	Sep 22, 2008 4:50 PM GMT Quote Red_Vespa-- that's insane! I've definitely felt a pair of invisible hands pushing on my back before (how did I know they were invisible?), but mine were gentle, never any out-and-out shoving. But I also remember it being much stronger before I was out. Does that happen to you anymore?
dfrourke Posts: 628	Sep 22, 2008 4:57 PM GMT Quote If it is the first time...I simply ask "would you mind if I kissed you?"...never been rejected... - David
Red_Vespa Posts: 1525	Sep 22, 2008 5:05 PM GMT Quote gumbosolo saidRed_Vespa-- that's insane! I've definitely felt a pair of invisible hands pushing on my back before (how did I know they were invisible?), but mine were gentle, never any out-and-out shoving. But I also remember it being much stronger before I was out. Does that happen to you anymore? No, never. Not this involuntary impulse thing I described above, that ended when I came out. Which is why I speculated about a cause-and-effect thing, related to my repressed sexuality. But I have no idea if such a thing really exists. That's why I invited comments, to learn if anyone else has experienced this. And your description of what I experienced as a "shove" is very accurate -- that's exactly what it was, and without any warning. It took all my self-control & reflexes to catch myself, before I'd kissed my career into the toilet.
zsocerstar Posts: 86	Sep 22, 2008 5:12 PM GMT Quote i don't like when people ask, i think that's odd. Or if they don't ask, they make the statement i'm going to kiss you now" i think its really weird. I normally am never the one to make the first move, as i'm normally timid at first with a new guy, but i try to warm up quickly and become real open. I have turned down a couple guys for a first kiss, i wanted just to be friends and it wasn't necessarily a real 'date' but you can tell when they expect it. If you have real chemistry with the person, you'll know you can then kiss them.. initiating it isn't too hard of a problem either, first kiss i tend to just give them a little sample to allow them to come back for more
Caslon8000 Posts: 8093	Sep 22, 2008 5:45 PM GMT Quote Timberoo saidFor me it's a slow lean in after looking at his mouth. And hope he doesnt say "pause it" while he gets up to go pee. ...
Caslon8000 Posts: 8093	Sep 22, 2008 5:46 PM GMT Quote CuriousJockAZ saidIt's simple -- I just lean in close and ask "Can I kiss you?" -- works like a charm Should that be "May I kiss you?" ...
DiverScience Posts: 951	Sep 22, 2008 8:46 PM GMT Quote CuriousJockAZ saidIt's simple -- I just lean in close and ask "Can I kiss you?" -- works like a charm Pffft. What's with this making it simple and straightforward thing?
DiverScience Posts: 951	Sep 22, 2008 8:48 PM GMT Quote muchmorethanmuscle saidA big confidence booster for me is to go on first dates with my nifty miniaturized version of a seal clubber. After I club them over the head they're pretty much unconscious and then I go and make my move. I've never had anyone reject me thus far. Ooh a good plan. I should try that one.
Chewey_Delt Posts: 871	Sep 22, 2008 9:03 PM GMT Quote Awkwardly and, inevitably, poorly. That's how I roll.
B71115 Posts: 87	Sep 22, 2008 9:05 PM GMT Quote i agree with zsocerstar. if you ask, it's not as romantic. it's more like gaydar, you just know. when the time is right, you just feel it. to me, it's not as nice otherwise.
CuriousJockAZ Posts: 2329	Sep 22, 2008 9:07 PM GMT Quote B71115 saidi agree with zsocerstar. if you ask, it's not as romantic. it's more like gaydar, you just know. when the time is right, you just feel it. to me, it's not as nice otherwise. It's only NOT romantic if they say no...that hasn't happened yet. I swear it works! But, in all fairness, I wouldn't ask the question if I didn't already pretty much know the answer.
Jockbod48 Posts: 1529	Sep 22, 2008 11:31 PM GMT Quote CuriousJockAZ saidIt's simple -- I just lean in close and ask "Can I kiss you?" -- works like a charm I don't remember your asking me any questions before...........
DiverScience Posts: 951	Sep 23, 2008 12:36 AM GMT Quote Chewey_Delt saidAwkwardly and, inevitably, poorly. That's how I roll. Sounds familiar!
lilTanker Posts: 1265	Sep 23, 2008 1:40 AM GMT Quote oh come on, whats with all this shy stuff? if you got a spark with them, then have at it, don't be shy. If they are taller then you, get on your damned tippy toes (or a step, gutter, closes bum) and if there shorter then you, pick'em up hahaha pull them in and kiss them, before you've even gotten a chance to pull back there got there nails sunk into my back and are begging for more. be brave, be bold, confidence is hot, cowering in teh corner wondering what your suppose to do aint.. and if it don't work, move on and have fun! muchmorethanmuscle saidA big confidence booster for me is to go on first dates with my nifty miniaturized version of a seal clubber. After I club them over the head they're pretty much unconscious and then I go and make my move. I've never had anyone reject me thus far. mmhmmm thats just hot.
DiverScience Posts: 951	Sep 23, 2008 1:56 AM GMT Quote ::chuckles:: So pin them down and kiss them into submission, Tanker?
lilTanker Posts: 1265	Sep 23, 2008 2:41 AM GMT Quote DiverScience said::chuckles:: So pin them down and kiss them into submission, Tanker? ;) never fails!
GobB Posts: 779	Sep 23, 2008 2:48 AM GMT Quote lilTanker said DiverScience said::chuckles:: So pin them down and kiss them into submission, Tanker? ;) never fails! somehow i doubt that is ur method of choice liltanker
BoardRider53 Posts: 126	Sep 23, 2008 2:52 AM GMT Quote You should easily know by the end of the date if the kiss is coming or not. It usually happens at the door, the eye contact, the smiles, then slowly leaning in for the kiss. I try not to make the kisses to hot on the first date, leave 'em wanting more
lilTanker Posts: 1265	Sep 23, 2008 2:53 AM GMT Quote GobB said lilTanker said DiverScience said::chuckles:: So pin them down and kiss them into submission, Tanker? ;) never fails! somehow i doubt that is ur method of choice liltanker Thats cause you wouldn't give me the chance, you'd have your legs around my waist so fast that I'd barely know whats happening before its actually happened ;)
lilTanker Posts: 1265	Sep 23, 2008 2:55 AM GMT Quote BoardRider53 saidYou should easily know by the end of the date if the kiss is coming or not. It usually happens at the door, the eye contact, the smiles, then slowly leaning in for the kiss. I try not to make the kisses to hot on the first date, leave 'em wanting more if the kiss is ungawdly hot, then it leaves them wanting even more, a guy who can kiss and I mean really kiss, not just sloppy wet stuff moving about.. but someone who can make you go weak at the knees, well, that just makes me want every single bit of them in any and every way that I possible can!
ScotXY Posts: 63	Sep 23, 2008 2:55 AM GMT Quote What you need to do is Watch Hitch. When he is training the guy with glasses - the accountant. I learned a bit from watching that movie funny enough.
onejock Posts: 117	Sep 23, 2008 2:59 AM GMT Quote who kisses who has nothing to do with who's the top and who's bottom. (what do two vers guys do, both stand there and wait for the other one to make the first move?) when the chemistry and the mood are right, kiss the guy.
Thirdbeach Posts: 470	Sep 23, 2008 3:05 AM GMT Quote CuriousJockAZ saidIt's simple -- I just lean in close and ask "Can I kiss you?" -- works like a charm Is that before or after you introduce yourself?
lilTanker Posts: 1265	Sep 23, 2008 3:15 AM GMT Quote Thirdbeach said CuriousJockAZ saidIt's simple -- I just lean in close and ask "Can I kiss you?" -- works like a charm Is that before or after you introduce yourself? he never said anything about introductions... we need to introduce our selfs before we suck face?
DiverScience Posts: 951	Sep 23, 2008 3:33 AM GMT Quote lilTanker said Thirdbeach said CuriousJockAZ saidIt's simple -- I just lean in close and ask "Can I kiss you?" -- works like a charm Is that before or after you introduce yourself? he never said anything about introductions... we need to introduce our selfs before we suck face? Yes yes, first you fuck, then you introduce yourself, then you suck face, then you shake hands.
Jayyp16 Posts: 57	Sep 23, 2008 3:36 AM GMT Quote I usually always just break the awkward ice by saying something stupid that can be taken as either cute, or really stupid...Like asking "If we kissed right now, how bad would it be?" or...while they're next to me, text, "I'm with this really amazing guy that I'd love to kiss right now...how should I do it?" haha. Again, those could be quite lame I'd much rather have a guy just pull me in
nv7_ Posts: 106	Sep 23, 2008 3:42 AM GMT Quote I can't always tell when someone is gay, but I can usually tell when they want a kiss. Usually a short kiss to start, then a pause, then a longer kiss, and then......
lilTanker Posts: 1265	Sep 23, 2008 3:45 AM GMT Quote DiverScience said lilTanker said Thirdbeach said CuriousJockAZ saidIt's simple -- I just lean in close and ask "Can I kiss you?" -- works like a charm Is that before or after you introduce yourself? he never said anything about introductions... we need to introduce our selfs before we suck face? Yes yes, first you fuck, then you introduce yourself, then you suck face, then you shake hands. DAMN smacks forehead No wonder I been getting dirty looks, I've been forgetting to introduce my self. When did this introduce your self stuff start? I mean, really, do I need to know his name? should I just say a random name and he'll know how I'm talking too?
DiverScience Posts: 951	Sep 23, 2008 12:28 PM GMT Quote lilTanker said DiverScience said lilTanker said Thirdbeach said CuriousJockAZ saidIt's simple -- I just lean in close and ask "Can I kiss you?" -- works like a charm Is that before or after you introduce yourself? he never said anything about introductions... we need to introduce our selfs before we suck face? Yes yes, first you fuck, then you introduce yourself, then you suck face, then you shake hands. DAMN smacks forehead No wonder I been getting dirty looks, I've been forgetting to introduce my self. When did this introduce your self stuff start? I mean, really, do I need to know his name? should I just say a random name and he'll know how I'm talking too? Don't worry too much, just make sure when you yell his name during sex that it's something like "Oh Tom Brady!" or the like, and you should be fine.
joarky123 Posts: 44	Sep 23, 2008 3:26 PM GMT Quote go big or go home. its intuitive. just look at him and his body language. most of us can tell whether or not the guy would be receptive to a kiss. and if i see any clues that he is (or have been receiving clues over the course of the night), i just lean in and plant one on him. longer than a peck but shorter than a long, deep passionate one. have yet to get any complaints or rejections.
GQjock Posts: 3826	Sep 23, 2008 8:35 PM GMT Quote That's easy... It's a smile, a hesitation and a look into his eyes does the trick everytime
muchmorethanm... Posts: 2788	Sep 23, 2008 8:43 PM GMT Quote Where do tops get the impression that they are in charge of a given situation when interacting with a bottom? Silly rabbits...that bullshit is for kids. I never understood that top meant "person in charge" versus a bottom that's perceived as subservient and passive. My ideal situation is 50/50. And then there are times when one or the other may guide the other through life's situations due to more experience, etc. But when all factors are considered it basically balances out to be an even equilibrium of give and take in a relationship.
redheadguy Posts: 2262	Sep 23, 2008 8:49 PM GMT Quote Well, Adrian, that's the theory.
josephmovie Posts: 83	Sep 23, 2008 9:17 PM GMT Quote If you're really unsure just go for the cheek kiss, then pull back, look into his eyes and see if he looks disappointed - or relieved.
Sedative Posts: 5545	Sep 24, 2008 5:33 PM GMT Quote Here's another good one: ask if he knows CPR, then pretend to drown.
JDB_REMIX Posts: 122	Sep 24, 2008 5:46 PM GMT Quote well if your just out to eat, my favorite way is to just stick a french fry in my mouth and have it stick out, and look at them, and then if they laugh at you just wiggle your eyebrows or wink at them. hopefuly youll have a lady and the tramp moment. and that way later it wont be awk to kiss because youve already eaten a fry outta each others mouths. or maybe im just a little kid and this doesnt apply to the "adult" world... (ive been told this before) which sucks for you guys because its really fun.
DiverScience Posts: 951	Sep 24, 2008 5:47 PM GMT Quote Sedative saidHere's another good one: ask if he knows CPR, then pretend to drown. Ouch!
Sedative Posts: 5545	Sep 24, 2008 6:01 PM GMT Quote DiverScience said Sedative saidHere's another good one: ask if he knows CPR, then pretend to drown. Ouch! Diver, do you know CPR? jumps into the pool and flails around exaggeratedly
DiverScience Posts: 951	Sep 25, 2008 9:28 PM GMT Quote Sedative said DiverScience said Sedative saidHere's another good one: ask if he knows CPR, then pretend to drown. Ouch! Diver, do you know CPR? jumps into the pool and flails around exaggeratedly Why yes, I do. And I was a lifeguard. Did you want your broken ribs now or later (CPR almost always cracks ribs)?
LutherGooch Posts: 277	Sep 25, 2008 10:57 PM GMT Quote I know this is subjective, but the mood must be there. I hope that is not a lame answer. I mean if we both have the "music" then try to stop the kiss...we are going to kiss.
Sedative Posts: 5545	Sep 26, 2008 2:53 PM GMT Quote DiverScience said Sedative said DiverScience said Sedative saidHere's another good one: ask if he knows CPR, then pretend to drown. Ouch! Diver, do you know CPR? jumps into the pool and flails around exaggeratedly Why yes, I do. And I was a lifeguard. Did you want your broken ribs now or later (CPR almost always cracks ribs)? Ooh kinkeh! roflmao!
nysexy Posts: 780	Oct 06, 2008 8:20 PM GMT Quote Its the awkward pause in the conversation followed by a certain look in the other person's eyes and a gentle leaning forward on his part along wiht a general "vibe" of sorts. Also if there has been gradually increasing physical contact throughout the date then i take it as a sign that a kiss would be welcome. As for the initiation, i dont think who initiates the kiss is a good indicator for "roles". I think either the more confident one or the more drunk one will initiate the kiss.
GHoSTa Posts: 585	Oct 06, 2008 8:46 PM GMT Quote before you leave .. you know when both of you stand there trying to bring it up .. It happened with me .. we were standing at the sidewalk to get a cab .. stayed there more than 15 minutes .. didn't know how to start it .. but then he said : you forgot to hold my hand in public .. and then my turn : How about this in public? kiss Ya I was kida a looser .. .. but you just know when both of wait for it .. and just have the courage to look in his eyes and DO IT !
auryn Posts: 1606	Oct 06, 2008 9:04 PM GMT Quote ask Sometimes, politely asking can be as hot as being suggestive or just going for it. Here's a sample question. May I kiss you?
Sedative Posts: 5545	Oct 07, 2008 3:34 PM GMT Quote Auryn saidask May I kiss you? Mebbe. Mebbe not.
Bob85 Posts: 4	Oct 12, 2008 10:37 AM GMT Quote This all begs the question: assuming we're talking about a first kiss with someone new, what TYPE of kiss is appropriate? Closed mouth, but lingering a little? Or do you dive in tongue first? I guess it all depends on the guy and chemistry, although I can't imagine it's ever appropriate to move in with your tongue hanging out!
oookellyooo Posts: 50	Oct 12, 2008 11:54 AM GMT Quote to answer the original post, "how to initiate a kiss on first date" is presumptive that you do have to kiss. Don't feel obligated to kiss on a first date. Pleasure delayers may find it offensive. Look for non-verbal clues like what's mentioned by GregStevensTX. See if he's reacting to your body contact or eye contact moves or see if he initiates the same to you. Also, did he give you a gum on the drive back? Although some guys bring sticks of gums like a chain smoker does cigarettes, it is uncommon to offer your date a breath freshener if a kiss is not anticipated..
redheadguy Posts: 2262	Oct 12, 2008 5:05 PM GMT Quote I'd never heard that one about the gum.
Fable Posts: 362	Oct 12, 2008 7:13 PM GMT Quote lol, i'd take the gum as an insult.
oookellyooo Posts: 50	Oct 12, 2008 7:17 PM GMT Quote Fable saidlol, i'd take the gum as an insult. lol that was my first reaction because I too didn't know until some friends told me... but after having a dinner, liplocking seems to be a hassle so the gum helps... if there's no "gay code" yet, we can use this
redheadguy Posts: 2262	Oct 13, 2008 6:40 AM GMT Quote But snogging someone when they have gum in their gob is a bit gross imo.
dancer1 Posts: 1	Oct 13, 2008 8:46 AM GMT Quote i wouldn't kiss on the first date. I have this paranoia of STDs...
JohnG16775 Posts: 65	Oct 13, 2008 9:04 AM GMT Quote Hi Guys, what a romantic topic, I feel the kiss is one of the heights of sensuality and paramount for romance. Thanks for reaffirming my belief that a kiss is super important if a romantic process is to be engaged upon. In other words not the dreaded "just friends"\ Bart
mattyrec Posts: 29	Oct 25, 2008 3:42 PM GMT Quote if the date has been good and i feel that familiar stir..i look into his eyes.. smile a little shyly...look down...look up again and if i see it in his eys i kiss him briefly...then i look back in his eyes and if i see it i kiss him again...longer..slower and more passionately
KissTheSky Posts: 1	Oct 26, 2008 6:34 PM GMT Quote I predict that any tactics employed by DiverScience (who started this thread) will be successful -- who's going to turn down a kiss from him?
fulldelight Posts: 131	Oct 28, 2008 7:00 AM GMT Quote This has always been a tough one for me I can never make the first move. I haven't really kissed that many boys - 4 actually. Each time the other boy made the first move .... and thank God he did!
Sedative Posts: 5545	Oct 28, 2008 1:48 PM GMT Quote KissTheSky saidI predict that any tactics employed by DiverScience (who started this thread) will be successful -- who's going to turn down a kiss from him? Darth Vader.

TallGWMvballe... Posts: 887	Oct 28, 2008 6:45 PM GMT Quote There are many ways to do it, but usually the energy of the moment will prevail and BOTH will feel it! Who initiates? EITHER or both! What matters is that you both are so drawn it simply happens.

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