How Effective are "matching" sites like "Match.com" and "Compatiblepartners.com" ??

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 07, 2013 3:43 AM GMT
    Had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine today and he ask me about what I thought of these sites. Since being "out" and even before, having been with one partner, I know next to nothing. I was suprised when he told me about how much they cost! Wow. Do you think they are worth it and if you have been one one, how did it go? Worth the cash?
    They look very thorough!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 3:48 AM GMT
    No, not worth the money. The only benefit of the paid dating sites is that the cost tends to weed out guys who aren't looking for anything serious. The matching algorithms are pure bullshit.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 3:51 AM GMT
    I think there are more crazies on compatible partners than POF.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jan 07, 2013 3:53 AM GMT
    It's sort of like Las Vegas ... the ones that is really making out is the house
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 3:57 AM GMT
    Also, consider that most people aren't completely honest in their answers. So yeah, the magical algorithm doesn't factor that into the matching.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 3:58 AM GMT
    Based on this thread I would've considered signing up for one of those sites... After reading these posts, not so much...
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 07, 2013 4:01 AM GMT
    Well for me, I automatically assess how effective the expenditure of money would be. I thought that the fact it cost money might weed out those who aren't serious.... I just had no idea.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 4:06 AM GMT
    huhwhat saidBased on this thread I would've considered signing up for one of those sites... After reading these posts, not so much...

    If you're going to join, wait for one of those deals to try it for free for a while, and then quit before you have to pay.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jan 07, 2013 4:07 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA said
    huhwhat saidBased on this thread I would've considered signing up for one of those sites... After reading these posts, not so much...

    If you're going to join, wait for one of those deals to try it for free for a while, and then quit before you have to pay.


    Sounds like a wise approach... I agree
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 4:47 AM GMT
    I have had 5 guys ask me out on a date from Match.com in the last 2 weeks and we're going out. I also had 2 from Okcupid. I don't know about "compatible partners".

    What I do recommend is that you post pics of you in nice attire and 1 teaser pic of you showing some skin. I would write out a full profile too. "Career, Interests, About you" and then give it some time. The matches are total bs, but if you wink at guys or "like" their photos, you might get a decent amount of responses. With your good looking, "all american/boy next door" look, I think you'll do well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 4:52 AM GMT
    Online + Long Distance + Gay/straight = Impending Doom

    I know it sounds so negative. The chances are small but it is possible. May be you are one of the lucky few.

    Sometimes it is better for some people to have something than nothing at all I guess.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 4:57 AM GMT
    Pay dating websites like Match and Compatible Partners were amazing at matching me up with the same exact people who were also on free sites like Plenty of Fish and OKCupid. I'd suggest saving your money.

    And Compatible Partners didn't let you search, it just showed you matches. And since gay is such a small world I would get a match every three weeks for someone that was 40 miles away. Or I am just that incompatible.. damn.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 4:59 AM GMT
    I guess I'll have to find a man through the old fashioned means:
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 5:07 AM GMT
    In theory anything could be right or wrongly matched, given the proper parameters. Hell, I could meet a potential soulmate in some unexpected places. He only need change his mind on a whim to debase the presumed outcome. I rather encourage guys to go out yo places and network to meet other guys. Don't have a place to meet? Make one.
  • wild_sky360

    Posts: 1492

    Jan 07, 2013 5:16 AM GMT
    I used Match twice, successfully. As far as their suggestions go, I'd guess they're mostly just keyword matches and guys that secretly viewed you but not confident enough to say hi. I never took that aspect seriously.

    I'd recommend it if you want to go on some dates; get some face time, instead of waiting patiently for Mr Perfect to just happen to cross your path at work or the gym. I thought the cost was insignificant, yet just enough to weed out guys that weren't relationship oriented. Not that unexpected hookups didn't happen, but isn't that part of the dating process?...the qualification process?

    I'd also recommend managing your expectations. Some of the dates I was least interested in, turned out the best; same for looks in person. Others, that seemed like they were going to be the one, after endless intimate emails...sure...why not commit to dinner for a first meet, turned out the absolute worst.

    If you are actively interacting, the site will be actively promoting you. If you drop off, so does your profile from the front page.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 5:18 AM GMT
    I'm currently paying MATCH.COM and not getting my money's worth. Its search screen won't let me do searches on multiple factors. And despite my setting it to meet only men, 3 women have appeared as potential matches [well, they looked like women, so I didn't bother looking at their profiles].

    But the key to any matching program is the honesty of the participants and their willingness to share not only facts [what you read, where you traveled,...] but how you feel about many things and what are your hopes and dreams. So in that respect the program is only as good as the people filling out their profiles.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 5:25 AM GMT
    With the miracle of computer matching, by now, there should be no more lonely people left in the world. What could go wrong?

    BTW: When I joined one of those sites - don't remember which one it was - all of the contacts that I got were clearly from ringers paid by the site. Their job was to string you along and get you to keep paying. They followed scripts. Never responded directly to anything in your messages or profile. Pretty lame.
  • wild_sky360

    Posts: 1492

    Jan 07, 2013 5:47 AM GMT
    The "chemistry" doesn't happen online. It happens or doesn't happen, in person, over drinks or a walk in the park.

    There's no magic. It's just relationship oriented Manhunt.
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Jan 07, 2013 6:05 AM GMT
    My biggest problem with those algorithms are that they tend to match similarities, not balances. They usually just give me someone like myself, which is no fun.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 6:22 AM GMT
    I just found out that OKCupid shows people in your "Attractive" group. Once you are considered "Attractive" based on their algorithms, the matches they show you become more "Attractive".

    I was wondering why some of the guys I found hot on there weren't showing up in my match list despite the fact that they scored high on my match percentage.

    ......but when I found out about this, I got depressed icon_sad.gif

    ......then I was wtf? icon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 6:33 AM GMT
    I've gotten nothing from Match.com, it's terrible. Over 90% of the guys were logged in "over 3 weeks ago" WTF?! It pisses me off man.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 6:34 AM GMT
    One of my closet friends met his girlfriend off of Match.com 5 years ago and he is now purposing to her in March
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 6:43 AM GMT
    Garbage in is garbage out. That's how I've looked at these match sites. I've belonged to two and now another (free sites to a degree), but must pay to use the full features. I don't use the full paid features. I'm convinced that the sites are not working as I'm not remotely attracted to any of the matches. Yes, some have peaked my curiosity but only to find out that they are fakes. So there you have it. I find that if you have a good completed profile with great pics that show your natural side and some that show your inner beauty, then it doesn't matter whether its a paid site or not. People who are interested will stop in their tracks and go in depth to find out more about you (i.e., date, skype, text, etc) regardless if it's a match site or not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 6:45 AM GMT
    Match.com annoyed me because mentioning anything beyond a vanilla profile (I like leather, sue me) and your updates get discarded. Even if that teleports you back across the US to where you no longer live.

    Match dot com is based in Texas. I'll let your mind wander on that one.

    In the end, you will probably get the same results you get on RJ for free without the interesting discussions.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jan 07, 2013 8:24 AM GMT
    Jockular saidI just found out that OKCupid shows people in your "Attractive" group. Once you are considered "Attractive" based on their algorithms, the matches they show you become more "Attractive".

    I was wondering why some of the guys I found hot on there weren't showing up in my match list despite the fact that they scored high on my match percentage.

    ......but when I found out about this, I got depressed icon_sad.gif

    ......then I was wtf? icon_evil.gif



    So basically the OKCupid computer decides which league I belong???

    icon_evil.gificon_evil.gificon_evil.gificon_evil.gificon_evil.gif