What the hell does 'straight-acting' mean?

  • Robert_NYC

    Posts: 42

    Jan 07, 2013 7:18 PM GMT
    "Straight-acting" is one of the most annoying descriptions/requests of a gay man. In order to act 'straight' you inherently have to NOT act 'gay'. Acting is pretending. What does the expression even mean? No looking at men? No touching another man in public? No kissing?

    When did our definitions get so narrow? And why does the gay community perpetuate the idea that loving someone of the same gender is wrong, and that it should be kept out of sight of the greater public?

    Everyone has different opinions about PDA, of course. And there are all stripes of gay people. Maybe we could expand our vocabulary beyond 'straight-acting' to say what we really find attractive: someone who shares a love for sports? Someone who is rugged? A hairy dude? All of these are more specific than 'straight-acting' and do not require pretending to be what you're not.

    And, don't get me started on the "if I wanted to fuck a chick, I would" nonsense.

    Discuss.
  • docbailey2005

    Posts: 362

    Jan 07, 2013 9:39 PM GMT
    AMEN!
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jan 07, 2013 9:46 PM GMT
    People confuse "straight acting" with masculinity, even though it is an inherently wrong parallel. Because gay is synonyms with femininity to the majority of the world (including gays themselves), you'll see gay men perpetuating the idea that they act like any other straight guy. It's ironic though because not every straight male is masculine.
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    Jan 07, 2013 9:48 PM GMT
    It means no frills, no awry, no btw poisoning comments and than smile on the enemy, no hystery, no schemes, no squeak, no scenes and than proud leaving, no figts when someone has the same clothes as You....just not being negative womenbehaving stereotype...
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jan 07, 2013 9:49 PM GMT
    Arcturian saidIt means no frills, no awry, no btw poisoning comments and than smile on the enemy, no hystery, no schemes, no squeak, no scenes and than proud leaving, no figts when someone has the same clothes as You....just not being negative womenbehaving stereotype...


    Sorry but... are you using google translate?
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    Jan 07, 2013 9:52 PM GMT


    And, don't get me started on the "if I wanted to fuck a chick, I would" nonsense.

    That´s the point. If You are atracted by men, why to date something behaving like woman. And mostly so nice and pliable You have a taste to hit or affected bitch, worse than neighbor´s mid 40´s wife. When the penis becomes just larger clitoris, there´s almost no difference, no atraction...
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    Jan 07, 2013 9:53 PM GMT
    It means you're all crooked and shit but act the str8 and narrow
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    Jan 07, 2013 9:53 PM GMT
    TheBizMan said
    Arcturian saidIt means no frills, no awry, no btw poisoning comments and than smile on the enemy, no hystery, no schemes, no squeak, no scenes and than proud leaving, no figts when someone has the same clothes as You....just not being negative womenbehaving stereotype...


    Sorry but... are you using google translate?


    icon_redface.gif yes
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    Jan 07, 2013 9:54 PM GMT
    I do not like the term at all. But for me it simply means that someone would not be able to tell you were gay because you don't exhibit the stereotypical mannerism attributed to gay men and lets not pretend we don't know what they are. The media uses them all the time to let you know a character is gay.

    When I am walking down the street no one would suspect I'm gay. If they stopped me and asked for directions they wouldn't suspect I was gay. Now if they saw me walking down the street with my boyfriend the only reason they would know we were gay was because we would be unashamedly arm in arm or holding hands and we often kiss in public. Acting? No, not at all it's just who he and I are.
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    Jan 07, 2013 9:55 PM GMT
    TheBizMan said
    Arcturian saidIt means no frills, no awry, no btw poisoning comments and than smile on the enemy, no hystery, no schemes, no squeak, no scenes and than proud leaving, no figts when someone has the same clothes as You....just not being negative womenbehaving stereotype...


    Sorry but... are you using google translate?


    Hahaha I was wondering the same. That word and masculinity are used so pretentiously

    Just be NORMAL. If you want to be straight acting, Be a performing actor

    Just look at Matt Bohemer or Neil Patrick Harris....They are gay and play STRAIGHT men in TV shows/movies....
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    Jan 07, 2013 10:00 PM GMT
    It just means, not acting like a flaming albeit fabulous fag. icon_eek.gif
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    Jan 07, 2013 10:00 PM GMT
    Nice on those forums is that even people with bad english can post their views icon_biggrin.gif


    Hey, I can be the proud Badenglisher then...or not?
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    Jan 07, 2013 10:01 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said

    When I am walking down the street no one would suspect I'm gay. If they stopped me and asked for directions they wouldn't suspect I was gay. Now if they saw me walking down the street with my boyfriend the only reason they would know we were gay was because we would be unashamedly arm in arm or holding hands and we often kiss in public. Acting? No, not at all it's just who he and I are.


    Undercover you are not! ;)
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    Jan 07, 2013 10:03 PM GMT
    The term "straight acting" is a little problematic, because it implies someone is pretending to be something, but the concept of "masculine / feminine" is NOT a problem, IMO. Some guys act more like the stereotypical girl than others, and this is a way to describe that.
    I do think the terms used should be "masculine / feminine" and not "straight-acting", but I am very tired of people who freak out over any gay guy DARING to use them. We all know a) what the terms mean and b) that not all gay men act alike, so pretending that it's somehow a betrayal of Gayness to describe yourself is just stupid. Not to mention short-sighted.
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    Jan 07, 2013 10:09 PM GMT
    It means that Gay is considered the worse thing you can be for a man. It is a tough, long, hard, confusing and sometimes lonely road and what makes it so hard is that when you are a gay man you are often seen as less than a man. The term straight acting is a desperate cry for help by men who consider themselves normal and who do not follow stereotypes to yell "I am just like you, I don;t act like the feminine nature that is over hyped in the media." It is a way of giving these men a way to try to communicate with their fellow straight guys in an effort to get their masculinity back/refrain from losing it. The often neglect to see that if one were truly straight acting then they would like women, for the only way to be straight acting is to be straight, however we live in a world of ingnorance and fear where we apply mannerisms, and stereotypes and foolish behaviors to things that we do not understand. We judge people harshly and unfairly and then wonder why it happens to us. It is a very lacking term for there are masculine gay men can be more masculine than straight men, but instead of what it really means people apply other ideas to the term. Even the term masculine and feminine are stereotypical, ideas. These are all just moronic ideas of what a man/women should and should not do. People say cooking was fem, and playing sports was masculine. Therefore when a man cooks and a girl is sporty they are sometimes seen as gay or in a role reversal, but the world is changing, slowly but it is happening, and the ideas of what things are is slowly being burst open.

    I hope we get to a day where Masculine and Feminine does not exist. WHere people just say, I like football, dance, cooking and fashion.
    Rather then I like masculine things, for everyone is of masculine and feminine nature no matter how much of a man you would like yourself to appear as.
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    Jan 07, 2013 10:10 PM GMT
    torrentprime saidThe term "straight acting" is a little problematic, because it implies someone is pretending to be something, but the concept of "masculine / feminine" is NOT a problem, IMO. Some guys act more like the stereotypical girl than others, and this is a way to describe that.
    I do think the terms used should be "masculine / feminine" and not "straight-acting", but I am very tired of people who freak out over any gay guy DARING to use them. We all know a) what the terms mean and b) that not all gay men act alike, so pretending that it's somehow a betrayal of Gayness to describe yourself is just stupid. Not to mention short-sighted.


    Thank you!

    Finally some reason in this forum!
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    Jan 07, 2013 10:11 PM GMT
    Are we trying to set a record for masc/fem threads? icon_confused.gif
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    Jan 07, 2013 10:14 PM GMT
    Robert_NYC said"Straight-acting" is one of the most annoying descriptions/requests of a gay man..... What does the expression even mean? .....

    It means he is a seemingly straight gay mess!
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 07, 2013 10:17 PM GMT
    It means he wants a dick in his ass, but he wants people not to feminize him for being a bottom. And, as a bottom, he wants his partner to be masc.

    Tops don't care. They just like hot tail.icon_razz.gif
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    Jan 07, 2013 10:17 PM GMT
    TellMeMoar said
    Robert_NYC said"Straight-acting" is one of the most annoying descriptions/requests of a gay man..... What does the expression even mean? .....

    It means he is a seemingly straight gay mess!


    Insta-judgment FTW!
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    Jan 07, 2013 10:23 PM GMT
    torrentprime saidThe term "straight acting" is a little problematic, because it implies someone is pretending to be something, but the concept of "masculine / feminine" is NOT a problem, IMO. Some guys act more like the stereotypical girl than others, and this is a way to describe that.
    I do think the terms used should be "masculine / feminine" and not "straight-acting", but I am very tired of people who freak out over any gay guy DARING to use them. We all know a) what the terms mean and b) that not all gay men act alike, so pretending that it's somehow a betrayal of Gayness to describe yourself is just stupid. Not to mention short-sighted.


    I would absolutely agree with you, if I didn't see again and again (there's an example on this thread already!) bile spewed towards those considered "feminine". And a lack of acknowledgement that gender presentation is cultural and extremely fluid. I know plenty of people who go from playing rugby or football to karaoke showtunes, for example.

    It's better to rid ourselves of the gendered words to box peopl---we are all after all men who like men---and focus on each other as individuals and humans.
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    Jan 07, 2013 10:27 PM GMT
    Hillie said
    UndercoverMan said

    When I am walking down the street no one would suspect I'm gay. If they stopped me and asked for directions they wouldn't suspect I was gay. Now if they saw me walking down the street with my boyfriend the only reason they would know we were gay was because we would be unashamedly arm in arm or holding hands and we often kiss in public. Acting? No, not at all it's just who he and I are.


    Undercover you are not! ;)


    Haha! So right. I was when I signed onto this site. For years I was closeted. This site and it's members gave me the courage to step into the light and proudly proclaim myself a gay man. By the example exhibited by the members of this site I saw that I got to define for myself what being a gay man was for me and not have to apologize to anyone for it. I'm definitely no UndercoverMan anymore. Maybe I should change my profile name.
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    Jan 07, 2013 10:30 PM GMT
    I have nothing against straight acting gays because this is an imprint of gays as a product of men. Which means being gay doesn't mean to remove all of your preferences. There are men who move effeminate but they are men, there are women who move like men but they are women so you cannot say gay must move like britney or madonna just because it's your own definition of gay. Being gay for me is not merely transforming yourself to become britney spears, cher, kyle or madonna. It's like what your heart really speaks and that is to become true to what you believe in and that you will be free. Don't worry there are straight acting gays or bi's who love effeminate gays. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Jan 07, 2013 10:34 PM GMT
    TigerTim said
    I would absolutely agree with you, if I didn't see again and again (there's an example on this thread already!) bile spewed towards those considered "feminine".

    It's better to rid ourselves of the gendered words to box peopl---we are all after all men who like men---and focus on each other as individuals and humans.


    There is just as much bile spread at those masculine gay men who dare to identify themselves as such - examples on this thread, too.

    I disagree that the solution to people responding negatively to some word or concepts is to ban the word or concept altogether. "We are all just people, man..." is fine, but "I have dark skin, black eyes, have a lot of pride and can be kind of touchy, am fiercely protective of my friends, have a lot of faith in God" etc etc etc are all ways to describe ourselves that have or can have negative implications. The way to beat that was to raise peoples' awareness about what the term means or can mean, its important, etc - not to avoid calling oneself a Christian, eg, in the first place.

    Of course such terms are culture dependent - what non physical term isn't? Gender-related terminology is off the table just because some people (including some gay people) can't grow up about it? Nahhh.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Jan 07, 2013 10:40 PM GMT
    torrentprime said
    TigerTim said
    I would absolutely agree with you, if I didn't see again and again (there's an example on this thread already!) bile spewed towards those considered "feminine".

    It's better to rid ourselves of the gendered words to box peopl---we are all after all men who like men---and focus on each other as individuals and humans.


    There is just as much bile spread at those masculine gay men who dare to identify themselves as such - examples on this thread, too.

    I disagree that the solution to people responding negatively to some word or concepts is to ban the word or concept altogether. "We are all just people, man..." is fine, but "I have dark skin, black eyes, have a lot of pride and can be kind of touchy, am fiercely protective of my friends, have a lot of faith in God" etc etc etc are all ways to describe ourselves that have or can have negative implications. The way to beat that was to raise peoples' awareness about what the term means or can mean, its important, etc - not to avoid calling oneself a Christian, eg, in the first place.

    Of course such terms are culture dependent - what non physical term isn't? Gender-related terminology is off the table just because some people (including some gay people) can't grow up about it? Nahhh.


    Faith in God?? You must be a fem-hating homophobe.icon_evil.gif

    Jkicon_lol.gif