Straight Bashing

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 27, 2007 4:53 PM GMT
    This post is not about turning the tables or being ugly to anyone. I believe we should be filters of ugliness not contributing to the stupidity.

    So that being said, there are these stories of me and people I know encountering a bit of homophobia and how we have reacted. I thought it would be cool to collect more, for the laugh as well as to learn ways of reacting more wisely.
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    Aug 27, 2007 4:59 PM GMT
    My roommate and his boy friend and I were at this swim party in the Midwest of the US. It was a public party and everyone was wearing board shorts or more American style clothes. My roommate, me and his bf were wearing the more European box cut swim suits. So of course we were asking for it, but it was all we had. It was supposedly a straight but gay-friendly party.

    Anyway, they were sitting at the bar and may have had their arms on each other's waist or something, but nothing more than that.

    This girl came up to them and told them they were disgusting, they turned and looked at her, then started making out.

    She actually huffed and then stormed off.

    Later at the same party, I was standing next to my roommate and behind us were some tables with some girls sitting at them. One said loudly, I guess this is where the gay guys are. Another said (actually nicely) I know, what a waste. She then came on to us. I just turned and smiled.
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    Aug 27, 2007 5:07 PM GMT
    I went to a foam party this weekend with a friend. There were lots of nice hotties about, both gay and straight. And the gay guys were doing the typical “lets see if we can disrupt the laws of physics and dance in the exact same molecular space.”

    I went to the bathroom where this guy walked to the urinal next to me and had a “conversation” with me that didn’t require me to actually say anything. He looked like a college football player, or had that body, sort of the corn feed cuteness that some of these mid-westerners get, that lasts them through their 20s. Again, I’m wearing a box cut swimsuit, I slathered my body in vitamin e oil to void the parched earth look that foam gives your body afterwards, and was glistening like a porn star, and am vary tan, so I would not look more gay unless I added heels and a boa. Football guy was drunk and asked me, “Are you gay? Cause there’s lots of gay guys here and its weirding me out, are you weirded out by this?” And then he turned and left. I didn’t get to respond to any of it.

    Later I went back on to the dance floor and this really hot guy with an incredible body was making passes at my friend. When I walked up to them though, he switched his attention to me. We made out then he turned and we did the dirty dancing bit.

    Then the football player guy comes up from the bathroom and says to me, “I thought you were straight?” I say, “Oh, I am, these are just my friends.”
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    Aug 27, 2007 5:15 PM GMT
    I should add a disclaimer, I don't judge at all and normally have no moral compass regarding this kind of thing. But it is problematic to be very randy in public. Depending on the culture it can be very offensive regardless of the orientation of the viewers or the participants.

    While the world needs to be fine with guy kissing each other in public and holding hands, there are boundaries. Maybe a foam party isn't exactly a place where boundaries are that important.

  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Aug 27, 2007 8:40 PM GMT
    "While the world needs to be fine with guy kissing each other in public and holding hands, there are boundaries."

    Why? Why are there boundaries? Why should there be boundaries?

    Mike

  • imaxim

    Posts: 94

    Aug 27, 2007 8:45 PM GMT
    The answer is directly above:

    "it is problematic to be very randy in public. Depending on the culture it can be very offensive regardless of the orientation of the viewers or the participants."

    'Tacky' is orientation-independent.
  • MikePhilPerez

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    Aug 27, 2007 9:03 PM GMT
    Well call me stupid, but I don't understand that.

    Mike
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    Aug 27, 2007 9:05 PM GMT
    I didn't want this to be a forum about the boundaries or judging people who do say have sex on the dance floor.

    But in certain circumstances I think it might not be such a great idea to maybe fuck right out in the open. I'm not being sarcastic.

    So imagining a (overly simplistic and reductive) spectrum with fear of displaying affection on the one end and full blown sex on the other, it seems that culturally there are going to be fluid boundaries, dependent on the place, time, etc. that's all I meant.

  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Aug 27, 2007 9:53 PM GMT
    Well I am stupid :)

    I totally misunderstood you.

    Yes there should be boundaries even at a foam party. I thought you meant you should not kiss or hold hands.

    MadApollo, you need to behave yourself. Having sex at a foam party. What next :-)

    Mike
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    Aug 27, 2007 9:58 PM GMT
    I should remind you that the laws of Physics only preclude gay people from occupying the same space if they are Fermions.

    I have met many gays who fit into the Boson category.

    Particle physics it seems is where it's at for gays. There are Top, Bottom, Strange and Charm quarks, and, wonderfully, Tops decay into Bottom quarks plus a W boson.

    Nerdiness over.


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    Aug 27, 2007 10:03 PM GMT
    This is all very hysterical!

    First of all, I did not mean to say we had sex on the dance floor. The dirty dancing was enough to freak this poor stright footbal player guy out.

    It's just that I wouldn't judge it necessarily if it happened, although i would question if the timing was best.

    and thanks for the physics lesson :)

    so does anyone have stories of confounding straight people? Even just for fun?
  • UVaRob9

    Posts: 282

    Aug 28, 2007 1:20 AM GMT
    Funny. I was just thinking of the Pauli Exclusionary Principle too. Glad I'm not the only science nerd here.
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    Aug 28, 2007 2:06 AM GMT
    Woot Slater Determinants!
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    Aug 28, 2007 4:02 AM GMT
    I was in Ann Arbor, Michigan visiting a friend a couple of years ago. I was walking downtown when I came across a group of religious evangelists were handing out tracts and warning everyone to repent over a loudspeaker. One of the men handed me a tract and told me to seek the salvation of Christ.

    Well, I am no longer a Christian but I grew up as one, and I don't disrepect one's religion. But I didn't care for these tactics. I volunteered that I was gay and the guy started in on that. What he didn't realize was that I became a Christian at 16 (it's a long story) and have read the Bible from cover to cover 3 times.

    He tried to tell me that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed because of homosexuality. I countered that in Isaiah it says that God destroyed the cities because "they gave no strong arm to the poor and widowed." He was a little surprised and then started quoting other scripture, which I countered.

    It never occurred to these people that gay people could actually know the Bible. The guy was floored but he did thank me for engaging with him and not arguing with him or berating him as others had done. I told him that such behavior wasn't my way as THAT simply wouldn't be "very Christian." ;)
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    Aug 28, 2007 4:49 AM GMT
    Of course, some of us, or maybe it's just me...don't know what a "foam party" is.

    Gad. Life, particularly gay life, is passing me by.

    I agree with imaxim. Tacky is orientation independent. So, if you're at a "gay friendly" party and everyone is making out, then it's OK if your roommate and his bf were making out.

    If no one was making out, then it is tacky.

    Also, making out just to irritate a few people is borderline obnoxious. Why make a big issue of it. Just let it go.

    John
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    Aug 28, 2007 4:59 AM GMT
    lol, those are all cute stories Apollo. I can see an "boy's short's" in the making. If so tell me so I can rent it.

    Good story also demarco.

    This is a very short one that a friend told me from an experience in New Orleans. A mother and daughter (who was friendly and familiar with the gay population) went out with to eat. The mother was put off by the number of gay servers catering to them. The mother finally huffed quietly, "we should go somewhere else where there are not so many homosexuals!" The daughter just looked puzzled and said "why mother, where will we go?"
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    Aug 28, 2007 7:35 AM GMT
    Fastprof, I think you bring up a good point.

    I thought about my roommate kissing his bf as a response to that persons angry and ignorant bile, which reveals more of her heart than anything really about them (possibly a reason to let some of these things slide).

    My roommate is very sweet and kind, as is his bf. In a way the kiss took courage for them and was not an obnoxious act.

    So there is no formula. In their case they showed affection and courage in the face of ugliness, it was a gracious stand to not let that take away space from them.

    The best response will always be something voicing/fleshing out grace and hope. Even the strongest of us hear these voices, many times on the inside, if not in our hearts, our heads. Affection, I think, is a burden the world can bare*, and it can remind us that we are not alone and what we are about.


    Damarco4u and ActiveandFit, thanks for your stories!


    *borrowing from goldman.
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    Aug 28, 2007 7:55 AM GMT
    I just read Tigertim's particle physics joke lol! I will have to print that out and put it in my copy of Tao of Physics. Then again maybe Star Wave would be a better place ...